Alright everybody, here are the results of the Fanon Con Creative Writing Competition! Even though half of the competitors either dropped out or failed to deliver, we still got some pretty good entries. Choosing the placements for each of these was actually kind of difficult. Anyways, let's get on with the rankings!
|Ben stood in a dark and empty room, looking at the watch-like device on his wrist, the Omnitrix. He leaned against a bed, his eyes showing mixed emotions; sadness, anger, and confusion. His act was over.
He could vividly remember his encounter with Vilgax, Conqueror of Ten Planets. He was in the Rust Bucket - near a park - talking to Grandpa Max.
Ben could hear something hitting the top of the RV. "Who is that?" Grandpa Max asked Ben.
"I don't even want to know!"
The whole entire top of the Rust Bucket was torn apart, revealing Vilgax to be the attacker. Ben and Grandpa Max raced out of the RV, Ben smacking the Omnitrix and transforming into Water Hazard during his run.
"It's nice meeting you again, Tennyson."
"I couldn't say the same to you, to be honest." Water Hazard smirked, dashing towards Vilgax and punching him into the RV. Vilgax slumped against it for seconds, getting back up and brushing off some dust. Leaping towards Vilgax, he slammed his fist into Water Hazard, the attack tossing him into a nearby tree.
"Ben! Are you okay?" Grandpa Max ran as fast as he could, helping up Water Hazard.
"Max Tennyson... I had forgotten about you. Let's finish what we've started." Vilgax lunged towards Grandpa Max, holding his fist up. Water Hazard stood in front of Vilgax, taking the hit.
"Just give me the Omnitrix!"
"How about, hm... no." Water Hazard smacked the Omnitrix, transforming into Diamondhead.
"Then I'll TAKE the Omnitrix from you!" Vilgax grabbed the Omnitrix symbol. Trying to tear it off, a green static shock hit Diamondhead and Vilgax. It grew larger as Vilgax had almost ripped it off completely. An explosion came from the Omnitrix, blinding everyone.
"NOOOO!" Vilgax shouted.
"BEN!" Grandpa Max ran in front of the roaring fire, observing to see if Ben was caught in it. He spotted a silhouette of Diamondhead standing up weakly and shifting his arm into a blade, soon stabbing an unknown person. And stabbing it some more. And more.. and more.
Ben closed his eyes, trying to stop thinking of the incident. Whatever he had done then would never be done again. He just had to defeat Vilgax for a final time! Why is it that villains could stay alive and terrorize but if a hero kills the villain it's wrong?
Because as once said, "All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.", and Ben knew that was his bad day.
His greatest nemesis was destroyed and people feared Ben now. He was a lunatic now. He had to fix this, his reputation as Ben 10 was over and he knew it.
Maybe.. he could still be the hero he's always wanted to be. The Ben 10 he's wanted to be. Yes, this was what he wanted. To be a hero, and this time to fight the urge for ruthless acts. But he needed to be serious this time and not all fun and games.
Ben sighed happily, knowing there was hope. He rustled his hair with his hand, staring now at the blank wall. He had so much to think about; Ben 10, the Omnitrix, school, and he also had a pile of homework waiting for him...
The story always continues, and while it looks like this one is coming to an end, it's just evolving into something different, bigger, better. This arc in the story is just wrapping up...
Sorry Primal, no bribes allowed. Anyways, this is a good story, but some of the sentence structure is off, the Killing Joke reference is sort of painful to read (but that's more of a personal issue so I'm not counting it against the story), and Ben just killing off Vilgax in a random encounter seems odd. It just doesn't seem like there was enough weight to the situation. To be honest, I think this entry would've been better off in the Normal Writing contest. It's still good, but it doesn't quite fit, so I gave it third place.
I was born an innocent, like any other person,
Put through a hell of a life, did nothing to deserve it,
Rejection and solitude, sometimes done by myself,
And soon, machinations of my mind were all that were left
How to be a social creature is not a subject taught in education,
It’s something you experience, a constant adaptation,
One that plenty of people don’t learn exactly right,
Causing them to be the ones who cry themselves to sleep at night,
All alone, no help, and due to our lack of money,
I’m forced to suffer in my own mind, isn’t that funny?
One voice says I’ve got to always be right and be above all,
The other says I need have humility and make my pride small,
I can’t feel all that good about a single thing that I do,
And unlike popular opinion, it’s not exactly a thing I choose,
I’m stuck in a loop between “I want someone to notice,”
And “I don’t wanna seem overdramatically hopeless,”
I’m a lost cause, even I’ve managed to give up on myself,
The only ones who seem to have not are the few friends I have left,
No matter how far gone, I’ll always keep my humanity,
But I’ll never forget the journey into the end of my sanity…
Ha ha ha ha… haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
As far as poem entries usually go, this is pretty decent, with some lines having nice flow and the whole thing delivering a coherent message. However, some lines feel sort of janky and interrupt the flow of the piece, and the tie-in to the theme of the contest seems really shoehorned in. In addition, it would've been better if you had cut out the "ha ha ha" line at the end and just ended it on the line before. Writing out laughing like this almost never works.
I KILLED HER!
It was sweet. It was lovely. It put a smile on my face, a smile that has never appeared on my face before. Not once, not ever again. Sure, I've experienced happiness in my life...long ago...but this...this is different. This is exhilarating, sensational, real. A real smile. Real happiness.
I killed her!
Why did I do it? Doesn't fucking matter. I did it, the deed is done, her life has ended, I am no longer bound by the shackles of morality. I don't have to deal with the bullshit anymore; no more faking, no more hiding, no more...frowning. Hm. I'm frowning now, I'm not sure why.
Just a moment ago I was in total bliss, I was the best me I could ever hope to be. I was in the best state of mind. It was like I was looking down upon reality, like I was in a higher plane of existence. You feel like a God when you finally take a life. It's...indescribable.
HAHA, YES, I FINALLY DID IT! I murdered her ass, I ENDED HER LIFE, in every possible way imaginable. It was amazing, it was just...amazing. Damn, I feel really queasy and anxious now. I-I-I'm not really sure why, to be honest.
I did this perfectly, I did it so secretly. No one could have p-p-possibly seen it. No one, not anyone. She...she didn't expect it. No one expected it. OH, BOY! I can't...can't wait to see everyone's faces when they see it w-w-was me...! The one who ended...her life...!
I'm starting to rethink...nah, never mind, it's all bullshit. Bollocks. Who gives a damn? I don't, oh no-no sirree, I don't care at all. The deed is done, thank God, and I no longer have to deal with it anymore...except...I feel kinda...empty.
There's a black hole sucking me up inside, it's inevitable. I can't...escape it. My body feels numb. Well, I dropped the knife; my legs gave way. I must be tired. I ended her life, after all...
No. No more. Please, I'm sorry. I am so, so, sorry. I didn't mean to do it! I didn't end her life!The Devil made me! Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? I'm staring at the knife now, I picked it back up. It's really shiny, really sharp. It gets the job done, certainly. Maybe I didn't do it...I'm just caught up in this m-m-mess. Yes? No? Maybe? Dear, God, I'm in denial...
Funny...I never imagined killing anyone, but here I am, looking at the bloody corpse in front of me. It was done by...me, wasn't it? Yes! No! ME. I am special. I did it...which means...I don't have to do this anymore. I can just...end it all.
Yeah, just end it all. No more pain, no more faking, no more...anything, really. No one loves me, anyway. I killed the only one who did. Call me crazy, call me disgusting, call me whatever.
I...am...the Devil. I DID THIS EVIL ACT. I CAN NEVER BE FORGIVEN, I CAN NEVER REPENT FOR MY SINS! I CAN NEVER WALK AMONG THE POPULACE, MASKING MYSELF AS AN A MAN OF PURITY AND INNOCENCE! I AM CURSED, I AM GROTESQUE. I AM THE ONE WHO KILLED HER. I DID IT. MY PRIDE CORRUPTED MY FEEBLE MIND , AND THIS IS THE PENANCE I MUST PAY.
This is the end for me.
This is the end of my sins.
The Devil...I...killed her.
Mig you absolute madlad, this was absolutely byootiful. It practically embodies the proper usage of "Show, Don't Tell", making what's going on fairly clear to the audience, but never having the narrative directly say it. The progression from adrenaline-fueled excitement to denial and ultimately insanity is amazing to read. The one criticism I have for this is that a couple bits feel too rushed, but the majority of the pacing is fine. Overall, I seriously think this deserves its spot at first place.
Alright everybody, that wraps up the individual contests portion of Fall Fanon Con! The combined writing contest winner will be announced tomorrow, so make sure to stay tuned for that! Thank you to everyone who participated!