Evan needs to read some books to children at a library, host an elemental battle, and guide some Biosovortians to victory against some evolved Arburian Pelarotas. He decides to use Glider, but there are consequences.

Evan Billion
Season 2, Episode 1
Written by Awesomatehero
Directed by Awesomatehero
Episode Guide
Split Personality(Evan Billion)
Evan Billion: Regular Show Version


(Librarian): Just come back tomorrow at 7:00 am.

(Evan): Got it.

Evan walks away from a library in Washington and gets in Kevin's car. They drive away. An explosion happens far away, and a Biosovortian flies away from it. He has many cuts and scratches. The four get out of the car.

(Kevin): What happened?

(Biosovortian): Some evolved Arburian Pelarotas were attacking Attracta because they got jealous of us still having our planet.

(Kevin): Can we help?

(Biosovortian): One of you can go help my species, while the others take care of me.

(Evan): I'll help the Biosovortians.

He runs away to the war. It is happening in a jungle area.

(Evan): HEY!

Everyone stops attacking.

(Evan): I'm here to lead the Biosovortians against the evolved Arburian Pelarotas.

(Ristego): A human against me! Yeah right! Let's take a break, everyone. I need time to laugh. We'll regroup tomorrow.

They separate. Evan gets a call on his cell phone.

(Cell): Where are you? We need you to announce the battle for tomorrow!

(Evan): I'll be right there!

Evan runs as fast as he can to the place where his friend was.

(Evan's Friend): Announce with this microphone.

Evan takes the microphone.

(Evan): Attention everyone, an elemental battle will be hosted in this spot tomorrow. Sign your name on the element you want before anyone else can, and meet here tomorrow at 7:00 am!

Many people rush to sign their name. Almost everybody wanted fire or electricity.

The next day at 3:00 am...

Evan is doing a training exersice with the Biosovortians. He was leading them up a mountain.

(Biosovortian 1): Do we have to do this? We can all fly!

(Evan): Hillbillsovortian can't.

A fat Biosovortian named Hillbillsovortian keeps trying to fly, but keeps falling to the ground.


Evan was Sportacus and is doing another exercise that involves dodging his punches.

(Biosovortian 1): Do we have to do this? We can make forcefields!

(Evan): Hillbillsovortian can't.

Hillbillsovortian keeps trying to make forcefields, but keeps shocking himself with green electricity.


Evan was Green Thumb. He shapeshifted into a combo of a Tetramand, an Arachnichimp, and a Vaxasaurian. He picked up many metal parts and started dropping them in places. He turned back and made the Biosovortians go through the dangerous obstacle course.

(Biosovortian 1): Do we have to do this? We can regenerate!

(Evan): Hillbillsovortian can't.

Hillbillsovortian jumps into the obstacle course and gets decapitated.

(Biosovortian 2): I think he's dead.

When the last Biosovortian got through, the wall crashed. Ristego and the evolved Arburian Pelarotas were there.

(Ristego): ATTACK!

The two teams fight. Evan turns into Carton and starts rolling and pushing Pelarotas out of the way. The fight goes on a while, when Evan's cell phone beeps. He answers it.

(Evan's Friend): You need to be at the battle soon! It's about to start.

Evan turns into NME and sneaks through the war. He makes star steps to go to the battle. He turns back to normal and sits in his chair.


Everyone starts running around and blasting people. The water battler burns out the fire battler.


His cell phone rings again.

(Librarian): Three of the kids are crying and five of them are jumping around unattended! Get here immediately!

(Evan): Sir, yes, sir!

(Librarian): I'm a woman.

(Evan): Right.

Evan tells his friend he has to use the bathroom and runs to the portapotty. He turns into Clockboy and teleports to the dinosaur time.

(Evan): Aw, snap!

Evan makes another portal and ends up in the future near a machine that's a time machine and a teleporter. He sets the dial for the present library in Washington and jumps in. While teleporting, he turns back to normal. When completely teleported, his legs are in the chair, his torso and arms are knocking books off the shelves, and his head is in the toilet. Evan's head jumps out and attaches to his torso. Evan uses his arms to take him to the chair and sits down with his found legs.

(Evan): Sorry I'm late children.

(Child 1): Why were you late?

(Evan): Ummm, I was getting pizza from a great restaurant down south.

(Child 2): YAY! I LIKE PIZZA!

He gets up and runs into a bookshelf. He falls down, knocked out.

(Evan): Don't be like him.

He opens his book and starts reading. The book was called "The Great Big Battle of the King Kastle."

(Child 3): That dragon's fire-breathing is making me hungry. I want pizza!

He did what Child 2 did.

(Evan): Fire? Aww man, the elemental battle! And the Biosovortians are probably losing thanks to Ristego! I have to help them! I'll use Glider!

The children stare at him.

(Evan): And that's why you shouldn't be like those pizza children.

Evan gets up and runs into the bookshelf. He pretended to be knocked out, and knocked books over him. While buried under books, he turned into Glider and cloned two times. One clone turned back to normal and sat in the chair. The others glided to their destination. Ok, the Evan reading to the children will be called Librarevan. The one associated with the alien war will be called Biosovortevan. And the one hosting the elemental battle will be called Evan 3, because you can't mix Evan and element and get a cool name like the others.

(Biosovortevan): I was using the bathroom.

He jumps up high and blasts some Pelarotas. Most of them turn into balls. Ristego looks in his copy of the Book of Maneuvers, Techniques, and Moves.

(Ristego): Wall of Round!

The Pelarotas form a wall of balls. The lasers cannot pass through them, and do not harm them. Biosovortevan blasts lasers at Ristego, but he turns into a ball, too. He rolls in front of the Wall of Round, and starts rolling. The Wall of Round rolled, too. Biosovortevan turned into Battlesuit and attracted all the Biosovortians to him. It created a metal suit. Ristego and the Wall of Round could not harm Biosovortevan with his metal suit.

(Biosovortevan): This is too much pressure. You might want to stop.

At the elemental battle...

The electric battler made an electric forcefield and rose into the air. All attacks reflected back. The glass battler turned his hand into crystals, like Diamondhead, and shot glass at the electric battler. The attacks reflected off of both of them.

(Evan 3): Woah, looks like this is going to be a long day!

At the library...

(Librarevan): And so the dragon used his new ability to clone himself into many different elemental dragons. The electric dragon controlled the weather and fired lightning from storm clouds. Harley the Recruit brought King Kastle a forcefield blaster. "Take this!" said King Kastle, rapidly firing forcefields at the dragons. It slayed the fire dragon, the water dragon, the electric dragon, and the glass dragon. The air dragon blew a strong wind that almost knocked over the castle.

(Child 3): This story is getting nowhere!

(Child 4): Yeah!

Everyone starts groaning and chanting, "STOP READING, READING'S DUMB! STOP READING, READING'S DUMB!" It got so wild, Child 1 and 2 woke up. Child 2 kept beating up Librarevan, while everyone else ran away. Child 2 hid somewhere in the library, while the rest hid in the mall that the library was attached to. Librarevan turned into Lost and Found, and Found started to find the children.

(Lostbrarevan): Meanwhile, why don't we start with a song?

Lostbrarevan picks up a banjo and accidentally knocks himself out with it. A hand appears out of nowhere, grabs the banjo, and pulls it off-screen. The person that the hand belonged to started to sing Reading Elements to Biosovortians.

At the elemental battle...

(Earth Battler): Why don't you try this on for size?

He was talking to the size battler. The earth battler used a hand to make the ground below the size battler rise and pound him.

(Size Battler, weakly): Why don't you try this on for earth?

The size battler picked up a pebble, that took a long time, and threw it at the Earth Battler.

(Earth Battler): It doesn't work that way.

(Biosovortevan): Hey, Ristego! Take this!

He shoots a bunch of magnet lasers at Ristego, breaking his spikes.

(Ristego): Pelarotas!

The Pelarotas put a lot more pressure on Biosovortevan, knocking him down. Then, Ristego builds a giant bomb and throws it up. Right when it's about to hit Biosovortevan, he suddenly flies out of the suit.

(Biosovortevan): What's happening?

(Evan 3): Oh, just down to the plant battler and the power battler! Find out who the winner is!

The plant battler shoots a Venus flytrap at the power battler, but the power battler absorbs it. He stretches his neck and swallows the plant battler, growing a little bigger. He then swallows every battler, growing 3/4 the size of a To'kustar.

(Power Battler): ALL POWER WILL BE MINE!

(Evan's Friend): Isn't it weird that this is my first line for a very long time in this episode?

(Evan 3): Breaking the fourth wall isn't going to defeat him!

The Power Battler stretched his neck and almost ate Evan 3, but he flew away.

(Evan 3): What's happening?

Foundbrarian keeps attracting kids to him. The kids are trying to run, but Foundbrarian is pulling with all his might. Suddenly, Foundbrarian falls and lands on his tushie. The kids get away.

(Foundbrarian): Let's try my super smarts!

Foundbrarian shoots soap at a rope with an anvil at the bottom, destroying it. The anvil lands on the floor and causes a vibration, sending everything towards Foundbrarian. He grabs all of them except for a chubby kid named Toby that would do anything to avoid books. Toby runs away. Foundbrarian traps the rest of the kids in Cage Mart, then starts flying to town. Lostbrarian flies after him, too. They combine back into one.

(Librarevan): What's happening?

Suddenly, all Evans touch the ground and start pulling towards each other. Toby, the Power Battler(let's call him Power), and Ristego appear in town.

(Ristego): Let's destroy everything, starting with all Evans!

(Toby): Good idea!

(Evan 3): No. Not good idea!

Toby rolls over Librarevan. Power freezes Evan 3. Ristego keeps rolling around with Biosovortevan inside.

(Librarevan): Let's all transform into one alien, a most powerful one!

(Biosovortevan): How-ab-out-Claw-nor-mous?

Evan 3 sticks his mouth out of the ice block.

(Evan 3): Gooooodddd iddddeeeeaaaa!

They all transform into Clawnormous. Evan 3 breaks the ice, and Ristego flies backwards.

(Clawnormous 1): Rar rrrrrandle Ristego rrrthhh rrrra rrrrrazer!

Clawnormous 1 tries to shoot a laser, but it won't work. Clawnormous 2 is pressing the eye on the back of his head, and it shoots a laser at Clawnormous 1.

(Clawnormous 1): Rrrrayy!

He tries to pick up Clawnormous 2, but it won't work. So he scratches Clawnormous 2 with his claws.

(Clawnormous 2): RRRRRAHHHH!

Clawnormous 2 tries to scratch Clawnormous 1, but he doesn't have any claws! He then tries to pick up Clawnormous 1. It won't work. Clawnormous 3 leaps and accidentally pounds the other Bigoggs into the ground.

(Clawnormous 2): Rrrrapper rrrengthrrrr? Rrrrrowwwrrrr?

Clawnormous 3 turns into Glider.

(Glider): It seems that our powers are split up. Transform into me.

They both do.

(Glider 2): I'll glide and destroy Ristego!

He jumps up high and shoots lasers. He tries to glide, but he doesn't have a glider.

(Glider 3): I can clone, and the other one can glide. I have an idea. #2, carry both me and #1 up.

He does. He drops both of them, and Glider 3 rides Glider 1 lower. Glider 3 then jumps off and clones, tackling the others. They fall into the ground.

(All Gliders): Hooray! All right! Woo-hoo!

Then, all the villains rise up and attack the Gliders with super speed.

(Glider 3): Oh no! Power is using his speed!

(Glider 2): What do we do?

(Glider 1): The only thing we can do.

They all turn back into one. Evan jumps into the air and shoots lasers. He glides in circles.

(Villains): NOOOOOOO!!!!!

The villains lose all their power and fall down. Evan lands on the ground and reverts back.

(Evan): Their powers should return in 3–4 weeks.

A man walks up to him.

(Man): Who ya talkin' to?

(Evan): Just telling the audience why Ristego is going to have his power again in future episodes.

(Man): Oh.

He walks away. The librarian and Evan's friend walk up to Evan.

(Librarian): Did you do this?

(Evan): Ummm, maybe?

The end.

The First Battle

Caecus is eating at a diner. The waiter is about to clean up the food, but the waiter changes colors, revealing himself to be Ray. Caecus runs with Ray chasing after him. Caecus runs up a hill, then runs in place. Ray thinks that Caecus is still running, so he runs up the hill and falls off.

Ray is changing the color of a rocky canyon so it looks like you could walk through it. He also makes a fake burger on the wall. He hides behind a bush. Caecus walks up to the wall. He sees the fake burger, then walks into the wall, eats the burger, then walks away. Ray comes out of the bush, confused, and touches the wall. The wall breaks and collapses on him.

Ray builds a pile of burgers. He makes them as tall as a hill, and stretches as wide as his foot. The burgers are explosive, as shown with a box that will make them explode if you push down the lever. Caecus walks up to the pile of the burgers and turns the color of the bun. All the buns disappear. Ray is confused. Caecus eats all the buns, then turns brown. The meat disappears. Caecus eats the meat and turns green. The lettuce disapppears. Caecus eats the lettuce and turns yellow. The mustard disappears. Caecus slurps up the mustard and leaves. Only one burger is left, and it is near Ray. Ray picks it up and bites into it. Caecus turns the color of the sky, which disappears, but Ray doesn't notice. Caecus presses down the lever, and the burger explodes, sending Ray into the atmosphere. Caecus chuckles.

The end.

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