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The Truth is an episode of a series

BTSF
Season 3, Episode 9
Illuminati.jpg
spooky
Air date 3/11/2016
Written by Omi
Episode Guide
Previous
Le French Dimension
Next
Shortest Trilogy Ever, Part 1

Summary

Ben, Eggy and Rook discover the TRUTH

Plot

Ben, Rook and Eggy were chillin at the Burger Shack.

(Ben): I mean, I can fit 8 there if I'm trying. But not spicy ones, no way man. Those fucking hurt man.

(Rook): Agreed Ben, those hurt too much.

(Ben): How much do you think can you shove in?

(Rook): I can fit 6 at most, but probably because my alien body is different.

(Ben): Wanna shove some up now?

(Rook): Sure.

They took some fries and shoved like 8 up their noses.

(Ben): damn we're equal

Ben's Omnitrix started ringing.

(Ben): OH NO MY OMNITRIX (transform) WAY-

THEME SONG

(Way Big): -BIG!

Way Big answered the Omnitrix call and it broadcast it like everywhere cause he was huge.

(Max): Ben, Rook, Eggy, the Potato Mage is breaking into the Pentagon! You gotta stop them!

(Way Big): OH NO LETS GO (reverts)

(Eggy): BAGAWK

(Rook): Come, Ben!

They flew to the Pentagon, where The Potato Mage was holding people hostage! Ben, Rook and Eggy broke through the door and went in.

(Ben): STOP HOLDING PEOPLE HOSTAGE POTATO MAGE

(Potato Mage): Not until the Pentagon gives me the most powerful weapon in America!

(Ben): NO WAY (transform) WESTERN CORN ROOTWORM! You potatoloving sunuvabitch ass ain't nothing on me boi!

WCRW fired off his revolvers at The Potato Mage, who summoned a potato shield to block it.

(TPM): POTATUS ATTUCKS!

Potato Mage summoned some chubby potato monster thingies to attack WCRW. Rook fought them off with his sword thing, and Eggy blew them up with bombs. WCRW jumped to the ceiling and started firing at TPM from above him. He blocked WCRW's shots with his potato shield.

(TPM): DETONATUS!

TPM threw an explosive potato at WCRW, who shot it in mid air.

(WCRW): YEEHAW

Rook and Eggy jumped at TPM, who teleported away.

(TPM): You may be able to face me, but you won't be able to face these hostages! CORRUPTICUS

The Potato Mage took over the minds of all the hostages in the building, and started running.

(Rook): Do not shoot them Ben!

(WCRW): I'm not a goddamn moron Rook. COWBOYS CMERE

WCRW summoned some cowboys who crashed through the front door of the Pentagon, and went off their horses to fight the mind controlled hostages.

(WCRW): GET BACK HEER

WCRW summoned a horse for himself and dropped from the ceiling.

(Rook): Ben, what about us?

(WCRW): Oh here ya go blue partner

WCRW summoned a horse for Rook and Eggy, and they rode after TPM. TPM was standing in the middle of the room.

(TPM): YOU ARE ALREADY TOO LATE, I HAVE WHAT I CAME FOR!

A hostage guy came with a potato bomb attached to his chest. He delivered a device to TPM.

(TPM): I finally have it! The gay bomb is mine!

(WCRW): The goddamn what now

(TPM): Back in the 60s, the US government worked on a top secret bomb that could make enemy soldiers sexually attracted to each other as a form of chemical warfare... and now that I have it, I can finally make Dave love me!

TPM started laughing evilly but it soon devolved into crying.

(WCRW): Aww, the tater man wants his true love.

(Rook): That is considered rape, Ben.

(WCRW): Oh right shoot.

(TPM): Whatever, DUPLICATUS OBJECTUS!

TPM fired a potato clone of the gay bomb in his hand at WCRW, Rook and Eggy. Rook jumped aside and made a shield to cover Eggy, while WCRW split himself in two as the bomb passed through him and hit the cowboys fighting the hostages. They started kissing each other instead.

(Rook): You are not getting away with this!

Rook fired a grappling hook at the gay bomb, but TPM deflected it with a Potato shield.

(TPM): And now, I'm outta here! TELEPORTA-

A giant worm came through the roof and ate TPM, and continued through the ground. It shat out the gay bomb as Rook grabbed it before it hit the floor.

(WCRW): Not so fast now huh, tater man! (reverts)

(Eggy): Bagawk!

(Rook): Ben, we should return this to the authorities.

They looked down at the hole the giant worm dug, where there were many file cabinets in an underground floor.

(Ben): It probably came from down there somewhere (transform) BLOXX

Bloxx transformed into an intricate elevator as Rook and Eggy went in. They went down into the floor cabinet thingies, and started looking through the stuff for a place to put the gay bomb back in.

As Rook was looking through the stuff, he opened a file cabinet and stared in horror.

(Rook): Ben? You should probably come see this.

(Ben): What

He looked at what Rook showed him.

(Ben): HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA TELL PEOPLE

Eggy came and saw it too.

(Eggy): what the bawk

(???): We thank you for your services against the Potato Mage, but we kindly ask you to not share this information.

They turned around and saw some government agents.

(Rook): Excuse me, but the people have the right to know the truth.

(Agent): You will be tied for treason if you do reveal this information, you know.

(Ben): wow ok

(Agent): And yes, we know about your little lawyer alien. You can't bribe the Supreme Court, Ben Tennyson.

(Ben): screw rules imma tell this to EVERYONE

(Agent): In that case, we must take you out.

They all pulled out their pistols, and aimed them at Ben, Rook and Eggy.

(Agent): Last chance, boys.

(Ben): haha no (transform) REO!

REO summoned an Oreo shield in front of them to block the shots, and summoned an Oreo hoverboard for him, Rook and Eggy. They flew off out of the hole, while getting shot at by agents. They flew through the corridor, as the cowboys and government employees took their kissing a step further.

(REO): What the fuck is going on there

(Eggy): bak

Some agents were chasing them, as one of them called backup.

(Agent): We need a helicopter! Oreonite and Revonnahgander on the loose!

A helicopter started chasing REO, Rook and Eggy.

(REO): EGGY BLAST EM

(Eggy): BAGAWK

Eggy fired bombs at the helicopter, who dodged the bombs. The helicopter started blasting its machine gun at REO, who summoned an oreo shield only to discover it doesn't block it.

(REO): OH NO

Rook manuevered his oreo hoverboard in front of REO and opened his shield thing on his proto-tool.

(Rook): Any time now, Ben!

(REO): Oh right lul

REO fired two oreos at the helicopter, but the agents shot them down. REO shot some cream at the helicopter blades, which hit and caused the helicopter to drop. The agents on the helicopter jumped out and fell into a river thing.

(Rook): I think we're off their tail! What do we do now Ben?

(REO): I know who we need to go to.

REO started landing, as the scene switched to Ben, Rook and Eggy in front of a Bellwood house. They rung the doorbell. Jimmy Jones answered.

(Ben): hey bitc-jimmy jones.

(Rook): Jimmy, we have uncovered a massive government conspiracy and we need your help.

(Jimmy): Come in.

They went up to his room.

(Jimmy): So what did you discover?

Rook whispered into his ear.

(Jimmy): NO WAY! Well we gotta leak it to like a respectable newspaper or something.

Jimmy opened his computer and started typing stuff.

The door opened, as Alex Jones, conspiracy guy, came into the room!

(Alex Jones): Rubba lubba dub jimmy foods ready dubba lubba dub

(Rook): American radio show host, documentary filmmaker, writer, Sandy Hook denier and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones?

(Ben): nice

(Alex): RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE BEN TENNYSON YOU COMMUNIST JEW RABBLE RABBLE

Alex Jones became red and enraged and smashed Jimmy's table in two.

(Jimmy): (sigh) Ben, Rook, Eggy, meet my dad, Alex Jones. Dad, they're friends.

(Alex Jones): RUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Alex Jones cooled off and went normal colored again.

(Ben): well this explains why jimmy is a conspiracy theorist good headcanon omi

agreed

(Rook): Mr. Jones, we discovered a massive government conspiracy and now government agents are after us!

(Alex Jones): Rubba dubba what did you discover IS THIS THE ILLUMINATI DUBBA RUBBA

Alex Jones became red again and enraged.

(Rook): No, it's actually-

I don't know the scene swapped to a duck taking a shit or something else random so readers don't know the truth yet

Alex Jones cooled off after hearing and went into shock.

(Alex Jones): Bubba lubba... impossibluh.

(Ben): we need EVERYONE to know alex jones help us

(Alex Jones): Wurruh I can get you to broadcast this on my radio talk show, but we'll need to get to the studio. AND IF WE'RE CHASED BY THE ILLUMINATI WE CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT WUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

Alex Jones smashed his head into the wall and destroyed it.

(Jimmy): Or we could post it online?

(Ben): The internet is for nerds jeemee

(Eggy): Bagawk

Eggy and Ben high fived.

(Jimmy): Sigh

(Rook): So when do we head out to your shows' studio?

Alex pulled his head out of the wall.

(Alex): RABBLE WE HEAD OUT NOW RABBLE

Ben, Rook, Eggy, Alex Jones and Jimmy Jones ran to the garage, and stood next to Alex's car.

(Alex): WLAIT

(Rook): The car door looks open. Someone must've tampered with the car!

The car started beeping and exploded, as a flash of green light was seen, and everyone was protected under a Bloxx shield.

(Alex): REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Alex Jones started smashing through Bloxx out of rage.

(Bloxx): Ow ok

Agents blew up the garage door, and started firing on them. Bloxx walled the rest of the gang up, and then started smashing through the agents, flipping their cars and punching them.

(Rook): I've called the Proto-TRUK to here, come on!

(Bloxx): rah i am lego man

The Proto-TRUK landed on some agents, and everyone besides Ben went in. Two agents were in the back.

(Alex): EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ILLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUMINAAAAAAAAAAATI EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Alex went red again and smashed the agents against the wall.

(Alex): FYEEEEE

He threw the agents out of the Proto-TRUK as it started to fly.

(Alex): URGHUH JIMMEI THIS IS WHY YOU DONT PISS OFF DAD

Bloxx was still beating agents up.

(Rook): Ben!

Bloxx pulled himself into the spaceship, and turned into a machine gun to fire lego blocks at the agents. They flew off as Ben reverted.

(Alex Jones): Rubba so what do you guys think about 9/11 huh dubba

Jimmy groaned.

Meanwhile on the ground some agents talked on their phones.

(Agent): They're heading towards the radio station to leak the information sir.

(Agent2): Take them down.

Meanwhile, the crew reached the radio station. The doors were locked as Alex Jones started unlocking them.

(Alex Jones): heugh Here it is, I'll set it up so you can broadcast your message.

(Ben): amaze

They went into the recording studio, and got ready to broadcast. Ben, Rook and Alex went to the mics. Jimmy gave them an ok signal, but before they could say anything, a wall exploded, and tank was seen outside, along with hundreds of agents.

(Ben): OH NO

(Alex Jones): We're compromised Ben. We can try to fight them off together, but I'll need to sacrifice myself dramatically for you guys to actually make it.

(Ben): k (transform) T-REX!

The agents started firing at them, and the tank loaded a shot.

(Alex): RaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHg

Alex Jones went red and started smashing through agents, as T-Rex ran through the bullet hell and started biting through agents and flinging them everywhere.

(Rook): Wait here Jimmy.

Jimmy hid behind a wall in the studio. Eggy bombed himself towards T-Rex, who was munching through agents. The tank aimed a shot at T-Rex, and fired a shell.

(T-Rex): OH NO

Eggy bombed the shot and it exploded in mid air.

(T-Rex): NICE LETS COMBO

(Eggy): bak

Eggy jumped into T-Rex's mouth and started firing bombs at everyone like a bomb machine gun from T-Rex's mouth.

(T-Rex): WOOO

Meanwhile, Alex was smashing through agents with rage.

(Agent): They're defeating us, we need reinforcements!

(Agent on phone): Launching air attacks.

(Alex): RUH-OH

Alex smashed through some agents.

(Alex): Ben, get out of there! It is time for me to sacrifice myself dramatically.

(T-Rex): k get on me friendos

Rook climbed onto T-Rex and helped Jimmy on, as Eggy jumped out of T-Rex's mouth and onto his back.

(Alex): It's been an honor, friends.

(Rook): Goodbye Alex.

T-Rex started running with everyone on his back, as the agents were still fighting Alex.

Alex jumped into the air, exactly as the bombs dropped on the area. He grabbed the bomb in mid air and dropped it on the agents, creating a huge explosion. Everyone on T-Rex was ok.

(Rook): Jimmy, are you not supposed to feel sad?

(Jimmy): No hes still alive he does this literally every time

(T-Rex): whats our plan jeymey

(Jimmy): We need to get to Bellwood's news channel to tell the truth to the people. It's not that far away, keep going Ben!

(T-Rex): k

As they got to the the TV station, they noticed people knocked out everywhere around it. Ben reverted.

(Ben): What.

(Rook): Someone must've wanted us to stop from telling the people the truth.

They went into the building and climbed up its stairs, as more and more knocked out people were in the hall ways. They went to the main set, as someone was sitting in a chair.

(Ben): oh my = an UNKNOWN VILLAIN

(Eggy): bawk?

(???): Tennyson, I've been expecting you.

The chair turned, and it was revealed to be UPCHUCK NORRIS!

(Ben): UPCHUCK NORRIS?

(Rook): Upchuck Norris.

(UN): Yes, you see Ben, I can't let you leak this. This information is too crucial, and can possibly hurt too many people. I thought the secret service agents could take you down, but apparently I forgot you literally defeat everyone you fight so I should've expected this.

(Ben): wow

(UN): Anyway, Tennyson, I'm offering you an ultimatum. You either don't reveal the truth, or I literally murder you.

(Ben): guess what i picked

(UN): Alright then. (smiles)

UN charged at Ben, who transformed.

(Qqqqq): QQQQQ QALRIGHT

Qqqqq dashed aside from UN's charge, and created quicksand under him, sucking him in slightly.

(Qqqqq): Qimmy Qook qet qo qhe qv qtuff qand qet qus qon qair!

(Jimmy): What

(Rook): We need to get Ben on air now Jimmy!

They ran to the tech room or something

Meanwhile Qqqqq and UN were fighting as Qqqqq was firing Qs at UN, who punched them to blow up in mid air. UN dashed at Qqqqq, and falcon punch'd him to blow up. Qqqqq regenerated as UN noticed he was surrounded by 4 Qqqqq.

(UN): Quadrupling. Impressive, Tennyson.

(Qqqqq): Qep qi'm qretty qood!

The four Qqqqqs blasted UN with Q's and quartz crystals. UN created an explosion around him, destroying three Qqqqqs besides one, who hid behide a quartz crystal.

(Qqqqq): QAAAAAA

(Rook): Ben, we're almost ready to broadcast! Take down Norris and we'll begin!

(UN): DO NOT BROADCAST THIS, BEN TENNYSON.

UN smashed the ground and launched a huge rock at Qqqqq, who evaporated it in front of him.

(UN): WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH Q

(Qqqqq): Qontrolling quarks qi qhink

(UN): Ugh, let's just finish this.

UN megakicked Qqqqq out of the building. Qqqqq quadrupled and summoned quicksand under UN.

(UN): THIS WON'T BEAT ME TENNYSON

(Qqqqq): QOPE QUT QHIS QILL

Each Qqqqq summoned a quasar on Upchuck Norris, which began to tear him apart.

(UN): NO

(Qqqqq): qye

UN was sucked into the quadra-quasar as Ben reverted.

(Rook): Ben, it's time.

(Ben): alright

Ben stood in front of the camera as Rook activated the camera.

(Ben): hi america we have something important to tell you

Ben cleared his throat.

(Ben): Trumpchuck


is a mistake


Aliens Used

Characters

  • Ben
  • Rook
  • Eggy
  • Max
  • Jimmy Jones
  • Alex Jones

Villains

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