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The Lag Machine is a Plumbers episode.

Plumbers
Season 1, Episode 10
Plumbers-logo
Written by Omi
Directed by Cibus
Episode Guide
Previous
Superzeroes
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The Norrisening

Plot

Cibus was running to Peixes.

(Cibus): PEIXES

(Peixes): WHAT

(Cibus): It's been two and a half years since we had an episode!

(Peixes): OH NO

(Cibus): WE NEED TO MAKE A NEW EPISODE NOW

(Peixes): Dude, the episode already begun.

(Cibus): guh breaking the fourth wall hurts my brain

NON-EXISTANT THEME SONG

(Peixes): So what now?

(Cibus): We need to do something interesting.

Suddenly.

Boom.

(Peixes): fuqfuqfuqfuq what just happened

(Cibus): YOU CURSED

(Peixes): Saying fuq is okay.

(Cibus): Cool. Can I curse too?

(Peixes): k sure

(Cibus):.....................................................................................................................crap. HEUHUHEHUEHUEHEUHE

Suddenly.

Boom.

(Peixes): Cibus, we need to find out what's exploding.

(Cibus): lolk

Cibus tore down the wall between D42 and D43. Exypnos was building something.

(Peixes): EXYPNOS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

(Exypnos): Gather up fish thing and dinosaur guy and let me tell you the story of the Perpetual Explosion Device Of Brainy Encephalonan And Retrecir.

(Cibus): P.E.D.O.B.E.A.R.?

(Retrecir): I told you we should have called it The Lag Machine!

(Exypnos): It's PEDOBEAR. I already patented it at least fifteen times so you're stuck with this name.

(Peixes): ...seriously.

(Exypnos): Yes.

(Cibus): TELL US THE STORY OF PEDOBEAR EXYPNOS

(Exypnos): Well, I created PEDOBEAR so it could be called the greatest creation of all times and would be loved by children all around the world.

(Peixes): Woah.

(Cibus): So all it does is explode forever?

(Exypnos): Kind of probably theres a possibility yes.

(Peixes): Cool.

(Cibus): What does this button do?

(Retrecir): NOO

(Cibus): Clickity.

(P.E.D.O.B.E.A.R.): Explosion frequency up to 6969696969696969 Hertz.

(Exypnos): YOU FOOL! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!

Suddenly.

Boom.

Suddenly.

Boom.

Suddenly.

Boom.

Suddenly.

Boom.

Suddenly.

Boom.

Suddenly.

Boom.

Suddenly.

Boom.

Ssssuuuudeeeennly

Bo-

(Cibus): WHAT JUST HAPPENED

(Exypnos): You imbecile! You've lagged us all!

(Peixes): DAMMIT PEDOBEAR

Pedobear runs towards them.

(Pedobear): Don't worry. I still love you.

Pedobear runs away.

(Cibus): wut

(Exypnos): By clickitying the PEDOBEAR, you've lagged up the universe!

(Cibus): Which means?

(Exypnos): THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS FROZEN EXCEPT US 

(Cibus): ...coolstorybro.

(Exypnos): Do you understand what that means?

(Peixes): Infinite Ice Cream?

(Cibus): WOOHOO

(Peixes): WOOHOO

(Exypnos): No, you idiots! We'll never finish Plumber Academy!

(Peixes): ...has this show ever been about us doing Plumber related stuff?

(Exypnos): Uhh...

(Peixes): All we've ever done was random sheet like super awkward silence times and waste our money on bananas.

(Exypnos): Good point. You know what, just do whatever the heck you want until I finish fixing P.E.D.O.B.E.A.R.

(Peixes): WOO

(Cibus): WOO

They ran out of the room.

(Cibus): What now?

(Peixes): Let's make everyone pick their nose.

They went back to their room. They stuck Ledus' finger up his nose.

(Cibus): lawl.

(Peixes): Now let's do it to Sartan!

Peixes held up Sartan's claw.

(Peixes): Hm. Where do I stick this thing?

(Cibus): Uh... does he even have a nose?

(Peixes): I don't really know.

They stared at the claw for half an hour trying to understand how the hell can a oversized crab pick his nose.

(Cibus): Ah fuq this. 

(Peixes): Let's draw moustaches on everyone!

(Cibus): HECK YEAH

They pulled out pens and drew a moustache on Ledus and Sartan. They went to other rooms and drew more moustaches.

(Cibus): heueuheuehuehueheuhe

(Peixes): YAY

Suddenly, a beam of light came from a window. Out of it came a glowing creature.

(Cibus): Who the fuq are you?

The creature appeared.

(Creature): U LAGGING

(Peixes): Dafuq.

(Creature): I am the interdimensional computer nerd.

(Cibus): coolstorybro

(Creature): ur dimension is a newb lol srsly 1.83 GHz Intel Core Duo processor is 4 de nawbs

(Peixes): What.

(Nerd): plumbers do u evn plumb i bet u dont plumb plumb me irl noob

(Cibus): Can you fix our lag?

(Nerd): no u nub buy a better computer 

(Cibus): You dooshbag.

Suddenly, another beam of light came out of the window.

(Creature): HOWARD IT'S PAST YOUR BED TIME AND YOU DIDN'T MAKE YOUR HOMEWORK

(Howard): But mom! I'm pwning nubs on de interdimensions!

(Mom): EAT YOUR LUNCH OR YOU'RE GROUNDED

(Howard): BUT MOM

(Mom): Howard.

(Howard): I'll pwn u 2 tomorow (disappears)

(Cibus): HAAAX

(Peixes): But what about our lag?

(Mom): Oh, about your lag? I'll fix it.

She snapped her fingers.

(Peixes): Thanks Howard's Mom.

(Mom): No problem. Next time buy a better computer u nubs

She disappeared and the universe returned to the nonlagginess.

(Peixes): What the crud just happened.

Sartan and Ledus went to them.

(Sartan): WHY DO I HAVE MOUSTACHE

(Ledus): And why was I picking my nose?

(Peixes): Uhhh....

Papiro went by. He had a moustache drawn on his moustache.

(Papiro): Hello. Like my double moustache?

(Cibus): Moustacheception.

Suddenly.

Boom.

universe.exe has stopped working

Characters

  • Peixes
  • Cibus
  • Exypnos
  • Retrecir
  • Ledus
  • Sartan
  • Howard
  • Howard's Mom
  • Papiro
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