Evan Billion
Season 1, Episode 20
The Crushin' Episode
Air date N/A
Written by Blastor Efftank Eitan Elfburger
Directed by Blastor Efftank Eitan Elfburger
Episode Guide
Journey to Opposites
Lost Gets Lost
The Crushin' Episode is the 20th episode of Evan Billion.


In outer space, a small spaceship is shown flying near Earth. On the spaceship, a white Cerebrocrustacean with markings of yellow, green, and blue on it was walking around. There were several slots in the walls of the spaceship, and each slot had a clear box. The boxes contained white eggs with polka dots on them. The Cerebrocrustacean took a box out of a slot, and set it down on a table. She poured 3 seeds into the box. The seeds disappeared into the egg.

(Cerebrocrustacean): 102.

She put the box back, and got out another one. She poured 3 seeds into it, and the egg absorbed them. She put the box back.

(Cerebrocrustacean): 103.

The Cerebrocrustacean did the same thing with 3 more boxes.

(Cerebrocrustacean): 106.

She put the 106th box back. The egg inside of the box started shaking. The Cerebrocrustacean was working on her 109th box when the egg shook the box out of the slot. Both of the objects fell. The egg fell onto the box, which slid to the opposite wall. The egg fell into a garbage chute.

(Cerebrocrustacean): Oh dear!

She shot a beam of electricity at the egg, and her target in midair. She pulled the egg closer to her and grabbed it with her claw. She used another beam to pull the box to her. She put everything back into its slot, then poured seeds into another box.

(Cerebrocrustacean): 110.

The egg was shown, and it had been split. Nothing was inside. Meanwhile, a small Cerebrocrustacean was sliding down the garbage chute, and appeared to be growing. It landed into a pile of garbage. The floor of the room opened up like French doors, causing all of the trash to slowly descend into a floating garbage spaceship. The floor closed up, and the garbage ship flew towards Earth. When the ship got there, it dumped all of the trash collected from various ships into a junkyard. The baby Cerebrocrustacean popped out from a trash heap, and crawled away.

Theme song!

Evan and Kevin were eating food in Kevin's car. They were pulling burgers and fries from a white bag that said, "Mainstream Meals" on it. Rocket chomped through a container of fries. Sharpoint gobbled down 2 cheeseburgers.

(Evan): You guys should eat more cleanly.

(Kevin): Is "cleanly" even a word?

(Evan): Of course is a word. Any adjective can become an adverb.

(Kevin): Any adjective?

(Evan): Yep.

(Kevin): What about fluffy? Fluffily is not a word.

(Evan): Mmm-hmm!

(Kevin): Use it in a sentence.

(Evan): The pillow fluffily ate a French fry.

Evan ate a French fry.

(Kevin): First of all, pillows can't eat. Second of all, even if the pillow is fluffy, it can't fluffily eat something. Third of all, when did we start talking about fluffiness?

A bunch of people were screaming and running away from something.

(Evan): Let's go!

Kevin thrusted open the door, and the four jumped out. They ran over to where the people were running from, and saw a giant red crab-like creature, crushing cars with its many legs.

(Evan): What is that?

(Kevin): It looks like a Cerebrocrustacean.

(Evan): A Cerebrowhatnow?

(Kevin): It's a species of intelligent aliens that can manipulate electricity. Ben can turn into one, Brainstorm.

(Evan): If he's even real.

(Kevin): Trust me, he is.

Evan slammed down the Billiontrix.

(Evan): Lightmeraction!

Evan stretched and tried to punch the Cerebrocrustacean, but its shell blocked Evan's fist. Evan fired a beam of electricity, but the Cerebrocrustacean created a forcefield and blocked it. Kevin absorbed the wall of a building and transformed his hand into a mace. He ran forwards and swung at the Cerebrocrustacean, but it didn't do anything. The crab's mouth spun, and started sucking up Kevin.

(Kevin): Umm, guys? I'm very uncomfortable right now.

Sharpoint shot diamonds at the Cerebrocrustacean's (let's call her Tacea) mouth, and it spat out Kevin. Tacea shot Kevin with electricity, sending him backwards. Rocket spat acid at Tacea, but it created a forcefield, and the acid slid down. 4 beams of electricity darted out from the forcefield, electrocuting Evan, Rocket, Kevin, and Sharpoint. Tacea crawled on a car and stomped on it, flattening it. She slashed a wall with her claw, then kicked it, and stomped on the pieces.

(Kevin): It seems to love crushing things.

(Evan): I hope it loves getting crushed, too!

Evan transformed.

(Evan): Humanimate!

Evan flew forwards and swung his fist at Tacea with all his might, to no avail. Evan rubbed his fist.

(Evan): Ouch! This shell is really tough.

(Kevin): Let's all attack it at once and see if it does anything.

Evan stretched his muscles, Kevin swung a mace fist, Rocket spat acid, and Sharpoint shot diamonds. All the attacks hit Tacea's shell, but didn't do anything.

(Evan): It's not working!

Tacea breathed fire, propelling Evan away. Tacea kicked a building, knocking it down, and crushed the debris.

(Kevin): Maybe we can get under its shell. Evan, try to lift it up.

Evan grabbed Tacea's shell and pulled it up, but Tacea grew 2 more claws, which it used to throw Evan. Sharpoint took a step forward, but Evan crashed into him. Rocket stretched around Tacea's shell and grabbed onto some buildings. He hoisted it into the air. By doing this, he managed to point the shell away from the others, revealing a weak spot. Kevin swung at the weak spot with 2 mace hands.

(Tacea): Graaaaaaah!

Tacea pulled Rocket off and threw him. Tacea kicked Kevin away. Tacea flew up into the air, and launched several violent bolts of electricity down to the ground. Tacea moved the bolts around, starting trails of fire.

(Evan): Rocket, let's do an Acid Throw!

Rocket jumped into Evan's hand. Evan threw him. While airborne, Rocket launched lots of acid at Tacea's weak spot, causing it to growl. Rocket got closer to Tacea, then gripped onto it.

(Evan): Now a Stretch-and-Pull!

Rocket stretched his legs all the way down to Evan, who pulled him down. With this technique, Evan was able to pull Tacea to the ground. Evan flew onto Tacea and pushed it down to the ground so it couldn't move. Tacea grew more claws and tried to grab him, but Evan kicked them down. Rocket used acid to put out the fires.

(Evan): So, what do we do now?

(Kevin): Let's take it back to its homeland, Encephalonus IV. We'll use the Rustbucket lll. It's a Plumbers' jet.

(Evan): Well, what are we waiting for?

Later, the Rustbucket lll was shown flying away. It flew into space. Several miles away, the same ship from earlier was shown. The Cerebrocrustacean was continuing her task. She put seeds in a box, then put it back into its slot on the wall.

(Cerebrocrustacean): 349.

She put seeds in the final box.

(Cerebrocrustacean): 350! Well, time for tea.

She walked over past the boxes, but something caught her eye. She saw the box with the cracked egg.

(Cerebrocrustacean): Oh, my! One of my babies hatched early! Computer, process the amount of Cerebrocrustaceans on the ship.

A green square of light emerged from the ceiling. It descended down, covering the entire ship. After it reached the floor, it advanced back upwards to its original spot.


(Cerebrocrustacean): Oh, no. This is bad. One of my babies escaped the ship! Computer, detect all Cerebrocrustaceans within a 1,000,000 mile radius.


Meanwhile, the gang was flying to Encephalonus IV. Tacea was caught in a pillar of green energy.

(Kevin): That energy prison won't last long. I just added it in right before we left. Evan, see how long it is from here to Encephalonus IV.

(Evan): Okay. ..........How do I do that?

Kevin sighed. He reached over and started pressing buttons, and suddenly, the Rustbucket stopped.

(Evan): Oh, that's just great. You broke the ship!

(Kevin): That wasn't me! Someone must've captured us.

(Evan): But who?

Evan, Kevin, Rocket and Sharpoint looked out the window, and saw the Cerebrocrustacean's ship, emitting a tractor beam that ensnared the Rustbucket. The ship was pulling them closer.

Commercial break.

(Kevin): Get ready for battle!

Kevin absorbed the floor. Evan became Glider. The Rustbucket was now trapped within the corridors of the other ship. The Cerebrocrustacean walked into the Rustbucket. Evan blasted her while Kevin made hammer hands and swung them. Rocket shot acid and Sharpoint shot diamonds. The Cerebrocrustacean made a forcefield, making all of their attacks meaningless.

(Cerebrocrustacean): I am Na'mi, and I believe you have something that belongs to me.

(Evan): What, the crab? We don't want it. You can have it.

(Na'mi): It's a she. And her name is Tacea. She was 1 of 350 babies that I laid, but she hatched early. The best possible answer for why is that she had neotosis, a disease that makes creatures, well, hatch early.

(Kevin): How did she become so huge?

(Na'mi): It's what happens when Cerebrocrustaceans hatch early. Anyways, I'll be taking her back now.

(Kevin): I'll release her from her energy prison.

He went to the control panel, and soon, Tacea was free.

(Na'mi): Come on, Tacea! Come on! Come to your mother.

Tacea growled and stayed still.

(Na'mi): Get over here right now!

Tacea made a fist from her shell, and punched Na'mi.

(Na'mi): She must not recognize me. This happens when she gets mad. Did you anger her at all?

(Evan): Well, I, um.....kinda....punched it several times.

(Kevin): And I...swung at it with maces,

(Na'mi): And why would you do that?

(Evan): She was crushing things! We had to stop her.

(Kevin): Is there any way you could get her to remember you?

(Na'mi): Well, there is one way. There's a song that Cerebrocrustacean mothers use to calm their babies. But it's buried deep within my files. It will my computer a while to find it.

(Evan): We'll keep her busy!

(Na'mi): Okay, but try not to hurt her anymore.

Na'mi walked back into her ship.

(Evan): We can just dodge Tacea's attacks until Na'mi gets back. Hey, speaking of Tacea, where is that crab anyways?

Evan, Kevin, and Sharpoint turned around and saw Tacea crushing the control panel.

(Kevin): Oh, that's just great.

Rocket was chewing through the rocket fuel.

(Evan): Not helping!

Tacea pressed a button.


(Evan): Why does this ship even have a self-destruct mode!?!

(Kevin): In case any crooks tried to take the ship, we could activate the self-destruct mode using this remote.

Kevin pulled a remote from his pocket and held it up.

(Kevin): Or, that button.

(Evan): Could you use the remote to stop the explosion?

(Kevin): Yeah. It's this button.

Kevin pressed a button on the remote.

(Rustbucket): 30 SECONDS.

(Evan): Gimme that!

Evan snatched the remote and abruptly pressed a button.

(Rustbucket): 5 SECONDS. 4. 3.

(Evan): AAAH!

(Rustbucket): 2. 1.

The Rustbucket exploded. Evan, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint were all in a yellow forcefield. Na'mi was controlling the forcefield from her ship. She pulled them all in.

(Evan): Thank you.

(Kevin): .....My beautiful ship! Gone!

(Evan): It's okay, Evan. It's okay.

(Na'mi): Hey, where's Tacea?

(Evan): She must've left the ship while we were busy almost exploding.

Sharpoint pointed out the window. They all looked and saw Tacea floating away in a forcefield.

(Na'mi): Computer, target Baby #106!


(Na'mi): Lock on!


(Na'mi): Activate tractor beam on target!


The ship shot out a tractor beam and got Tacea. It started pulling her in closer, but she stepped out of the forcefield and quickly created another one. She began to float away, even faster than before.

(Evan): Where's she going?

(Na'mi): Probably anywhere where she can crush stuff. Computer, what's the nearest planet?


(Na'mi): Land on planet: Mars.


(Evan): I need me one of these. Computer, make me a fruit smoothie.


A chainsaw, a laser gun, and a baseball bat came down from the ceiling.

(Na'mi): It's okay, computer. It's just a guest.


Later, the gang landed on Mars. Tacea was seen, crushing buildings.

(Evan): How did all these buildings get here?

(Na'mi): There must be intelligent life on this planet.

They all walked out, with Kevin wearing a Plumbers' suit. Evan was Battlesuit. Evan attracted 4 buildings to himself, which wrapped around his arms and legs. He stretched one of the buildings and used it to punch Tacea, but she breathed fire, melting the building. Sharpoint shot diamonds at Tacea, but she expanded her shell, stopping them. Sharpoint ran up to her and generated claws. He tried to slash her, but Tacea launched him backwards with a lightning beam. Rocket stretched his arm and Evan extended a building. Rocket slashed Tacea and Evan whipped her, but it didn't do anything because of the shell.

(Na'mi): Her shell is stopping your attacks.

(Kevin): If we can get under it like we did earlier, we can actually do something.

Evan extended a building and used it to flip Tacea over on her back. Sharpoint blasted diamonds and Rocket shot acid at the weak spot, causing Tacea to growl, weakened.

(Na'mi): Now it's time for the Cerebrocrustacean Taming Song!

She sang The Cerebrocrustacean Taming Song. After it, Tacea was asleep next to her.

(Na'mi): Thank you for all your help...uh...what did you say your names were again?

(Evan): Evan Levin.

(Kevin): Kevin Levin.

(Na'mi): Thank you, Evan and Kevin Levin. Well, I'll be going now.

(Evan): Bye!

Na'mi went into her ship, carrying Tacea with her using telekinesis, and flew away as Evan, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint waved.

(Evan): Wait, how do we get home?




Aliens Used

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