|WARNING: PROFANITY FOLLOWS|
|The following content contains profanity that may not be suitable for readers of all ages. Please proceed with caution.|
|Ben 10: Stupidity Force: End Of Omnivangelion: Future|
|Season 1, Episode 5|
Ben 10 vs. The CEO of Racism
The Ben Tennyson Experience is the fifth episode of Ben 10: Stupidity Force: End Of Omnivangelion: Future.
The Bens discover a Ben imitator has been running a podcast called "The Ben Tennyson Experience". Vilgax gets into controversy over his appearance on the podcast.
Ben adjusted his microphone as the camera feed went on. In the chair in front of him sat Vilgax, in front of a microphone, with headphones on his head.
(Ben): And we’re live, here with Vilgax. First of all, it is great to finally sit down with you, brother.
(Ben): It’s been what? 8 years since you last tried to kill me?
(Vilgax): Yeah. Yeah. Something like that.
(Ben): So, um, what’s it like, you know. Ruling a planet? Is it... like... challenging?
(Vilgax): Well, it’s um... I think you have to look at it from the perspective of um... it’s a very different beast than say, running a grocery store. But at the same time, it’s very similar.
(Ben): Listen man, I have given up on groceries years ago. You probably should too. Here’s what I do: a buddy of mine, Khyber, he’s got this huuuge hunting ground, so like, every few months me and him go on this hunting trip together. We hunt elk, deer, Pyroxivors, Galvans, Crabdozers, and then we cook it at home. It lasts for like months, man, and it’s super healthy for you.
(Vilgax): Did-did you say Galvans?
(Ben): Yeah, Galvans too, man. They’re very good for you. A lot of protein, and um, lean meat. Hey, Bomby, can you pull up that video of the Arachnichimp with the gun?
Vilgax and Ben looked at the TV in the studio, where a video of Simian shooting at DNAliens was playing.
(Ben): Man, did you see this shit? Arachnichimps, man. I love these little guys. They’re so smart, they say they could be using Omnitrixes soon.
(Vilgax): They’re sentient species, Ben, don’t you have a sample in your-
(Ben): Oh, look, look, look, here’s the good part- look how he- (breaks into laughter) look how he shoots that DNAlien clean in the dick! (choking from laughter)
Ben fell off his chair from laughing. Vilgax remained stoic as he adjusted his mic and headphones, as Ben climbed himself back to the chair and put on his headphones again.
(Ben): (wiping tears) That was fucking hilarious, man.
(Ben): So-so what’s it like, you know, being worshiped by a cult?
(Vilgax): It’s alright.
(Ben): Do you get like, like a lot of sex? I imagine, like, you’d have cultist chicks lining up to you know. With sexy cultist clothing and all that shit.
(Vilgax): Yeah, so um, my cult was actually very puritan, we didn’t actually engage in a lot of sexual activities. Personally, I would find it inappropriate.
(Ben): That’s crazy, man. Have you ever tried FMT?
(Ben): It’s this new strain of cannabis, they make it from the seeds of those eggplant things on the backs of Wildvines. It’s very good for you. Opens your mind and shit. Here, try one.
Ben rolled a FMT joint and gave one to Vilgax. Vilgax inspected his joint.
(Vilgax): Huh. Sure.
(Ben): Cheers, bro.
Ben lit his joint and lit Vilgax’s joint as well. They both breathed in a puff.
(Vilgax): (coughs) Shit, man.
(Ben): Hits hard, right? Good shit, good shit.
(Vilgax): Yeah, yeah.
Vilgax grabbed the joint with one of his face tentacles as he kept smoking it.
(Ben): So- now that we’re both, um, enlightened as shit, I got a serious question for you. (coughs)
(Ben): Do... do you think aliens exist?
(Vilgax): Shit, man. I don’t know.
(Ben): Roswell, Area 51, all that shit. Do you think we’re alone in this universe? Like, we can't be, right? It's entirely possible that there are some aliens living out there.
(Vilgax): (coughs) I mean, we can never know for sure, right? Maybe they are out there.
(Ben Prime): CBT, what the hell are you watching?
Crazy Ben was watching the interview show on the laptop on the floor. Ben hovered over his shoulder, watching in confusion, as the video played in the background.
(Crazy Ben): The Ben Tennyson Experience, dude. I never knew you were this cool.
(Ben): This isn’t me, man. Look, this episode came out today. You were with me all day.
(Crazy Ben): Huh. Who is it then. Lmao.
(Ben): Let me see this.
Ben squatted down to the laptop, and began scrolling through The Ben Tennyson Experience’s YouTube channel.
(Ben): (reading) The Ben Tennyson Experience number 145, Will Harangue. The Ben Tennyson Experience number 97, Zombozo. The Ben Tennyson Experience number 53, Ben Shapiro. The Ben Tennyson Experience number 157698, Maltruant. What the hell? Why is he interviewing so many villains?
Ben continued scrolling through the videos, reaching short videos of The Ben Tennyson Experience.
(Ben): (reading) Ben Tennyson shocked by Rooters conspiracy theory. Ben Tennyson on why video games are bad. Ben Tennyson and High Inquisitor of the Forever Knights discuss alien rights. Ben Tennyson on Cancel Culture and Free Speech. The fuck?
(Crazy Ben): Damn this guy put in serious work
(Ben): Is this why I haven’t been getting any media gigs lately? Fucking hell. Did this guy turn me into a symbol of alt-right or some shit?
(Crazy Ben): Probably lol.
(Ben): Okay, I’m getting to the bottom of this. Abu-Spanner, Eggy, you coming?
Muslim Ben was on his phone on the bed, petting Eggy.
(Muslim Ben): Huh? Yeah, I guess.
(Ben): (typing into computer) Alright, where is the Ben Tennyson Experience filmed... okay, got it. (transform) Infinite Ek!
Infinite Ek slashed the air in front of him with his spoon hand, opening a portal into what seemed like an orange dimension filled with pineapples.
(Ben/Infinite Ek): Alright, into the pineapple dimension.
Crazy Ben smirked at Ben.
(Crazy Ben): Taken a liking to my aliens, I see.
(Ben/Infinite Ek): What? No, dude, I’m just trying alternative forms of transportation. (sigh) Just get in.
Crazy Ben smirked, as he went into the pineapple dimension, followed by Muslim Ben and Eggy. Infinite Ek jumped in as well, as the portal closed behind him.
(Crazy Ben): Wee!
Infinite Ek, Crazy Ben, Muslim Ben and Eggy floated through the pineapple dimension, where pineapples were floating all around them, into another portal.
A portal opened in the Ben Tennyson Experience’s studio, where Ben and Albedo were shooting an episode. The two stared in confusion as Crazy Ben and Muslim Ben were dropped out of the portal, followed by Infinite Ek. Infinite Ek reverted to Ben and pointed angrily at the impostor.
(Ben): Who the fuck are you?
(Fake Ben): Shit, shit. Bomby, turn off the stream.
(Albedo): No, no, man, this is good. We can clip this.
(Fake Ben): Bomby, Bomby, just shut it off.
(Bomby): (sigh) Bum, bum.
The Bens looked at the glass screen and noticed a black Angry Bird on a bunch of computers, struggling to close the stream.
(Ben): What? Who are you guys? Why do you guys have your own Angry Bird? Is this like a thing now?
(Fake Ben): Don’t you remember us? That’s Bomby, my pet Angry Bird, and you know Albedo. I’m Ben2.
(Crazy Ben): Oh, riiiiight, the clone I used for a second Ultimatrix. I used like, Echo Echo to clone myself, transformed you into Goop to take your Ultimatrix off, then threw you into a mental asylum. Then I used your Ultimatrix to fuck around. Good times.
(Ben2): Yeah, you remember. You cloned yourself and took my Ultimatrix for yourself so you could fuck around, leaving me with nothing but your looks.
(Ben): Okay, sure. Why'd you have to make this podcast, man? You’ve turned me into some symbol of alt-right or some shit!
(Ben2): You didn’t leave me a lot of choice, did you? I don’t have a birth certificate, a social security number, jack shit, just your face. So naturally, I went into the entertainment industry. It was either that or open an OnlyFans.
(Crazy Ben): (sweating) Lucky no one did that yet, huh?
(Albedo): Ben2 and Bomby approached me later with the idea to start an interview podcast, which I produce for him. And look at us now! Biggest podcast in the country.
(Ben): Okay, fine, fine, I get it. Why are you interviewing so many villains, man? You’re dragging my name through the mud.
(Ben2): You know, I think it’s important to get both sides on many issues, interviewing villains helps a lot with, uh, that. I trust my viewers to, um, discern what’s a villain approach, and what isn’t. It works, probably. I think.
(Ben): (sigh) Dude, I don’t care. Just stop making this podcast with my name and face on it.
(Ben2): What are you gonna do about it?
(Ben): I’m gonna fight you, that’s what I’m gonna do about it!
Ben hovered his hand over his Omnitrix.
(Ben2): I mean, you can, but both me and Albedo are unarmed. And we don’t really have any powers. Not really a fair fight.
(Ben): Well... um, either you take it down or else!
(Ben2): What, are you gonna beat the shit out of two unarmed guys? Huh? Huh? You fucking fascist.
(Ben): Shit, uh, just... um... I’m gonna, well-
Crazy Ben pushed Ben to the side.
(Crazy Ben): Ben, Ben, you’re not thinking about this like a Ben 10: Stupidity Force. Here, let me show you. (transform) JURY DUTY!
Crazy Ben transformed into a version of Jury Rigg, wearing a lawyer’s three piece suit, with a suitcase attached to the tip of his tail. Jury Duty pulled out a piece of paper from the suitcase, took out a pen from his suit, and began writing a legal document at inhuman speeds.
(Crazy Ben/Jury Duty): CEASE CEASE CEASE! DESIST DESIST DESIST!
Jury Duty completed his legal document and handed it over to Ben2 and Albedo.
(Crazy Ben/Jury Duty): You have 30 days, or we will go to court.
Ben2 riffed through the Cease and Desist letter, and showed it to Albedo, who read through it.
(Albedo): Yeah, we can’t keep doing this show.
(Ben2): Shit. What do we do now?
Albedo and Ben2 stopped to think.
(Albedo): Ooh, I got it. Albedo and Ben2’s House. Or, Ben2 the News.
(Ben2): Maybe the Ben2 Show? Or the Ben2 Tennyson Show?
(Albedo): Yeah, yeah, the Ben2 Tennyson Show! We'll call it - (gestures dramatically) BTS!
(Ben2): Great name! Love it! Hey, you guys wanna grab some fries to celebrate?
(Ben): (suspectingly) Us?
(Ben): Eh, why not. You guys up for it?
(Crazy Ben/Jury Duty): I’ll see if I can fit it into my schedule.
Muslim Ben and Eggy nodded.
(Albedo): Dynamite! Let’s go.
The Bens and the two Angry Birds left the studio.
A motorcade was driving down through a Vilgaxian street, with a floating black limousine in the center of it. The streets around it were filled with Vilgaxian protestors, holding protest signs againt Vilgax, showing images of his appearance on the podcast. Inside the car, Vilgax, stoic, was sitting opposite of Psyphon, who fiddled his fingers in stress. The two could hear the protestors’ chants in the vehicle.
(Protestors): Get rid of the squid! Get rid of the squid!
(Psyphon): Oh, my liege, I-I'm sure they understand. You were under a lot of stress and needed something to take your mind off. I-It's a hard job, running a planet.
(Vilgax): I wasn’t stressed, Psyphon! That damned Tennyson seduced me with the plant!
Vilgax’s limousine landed at the Vilgaxian Castle steps. Surrounded by Vilgaxian guards, Vilgax made it up the stairs, as the protestors chanted behind him.
(Protestors): Get rid of the squid! Get rid of the squid!
(Protestor): (through megaphone) My father is in prison for FMT, and yet here our so called leader smokes it freely! Get rid of the squid! Get rid of the squid!
(Vilgax): (under his breath) You’re a squid yourself...
Vilgax and Psyphon entered the castle’s meeting chamber, as Vilgax looked over at his Ministers, who looked at him and whispered.
(Vilgax): (sigh) I assume you’ve all seen my podcast appearance. I assure you, it was a one-time thing, a poorly timed mistake. It will not affect my ruling capabilities.
The Vilgaxian Ministers looked silently at Vilgax, as one of them coughed. Vilgax headed towards his throne at the head of the table.
(Vilgax): Now, onto our first matter of the day. The angry mob outside our palace.
Vilgax was about to sit on the throne before he was interrupted by one of his ministers.
(Minister): Don’t bother yourself, Vilgax.
(Vilgax): Excuse me?
(Minister): The Ministry has thoroughly discussed this matter and, seeing your approval ratings' drastic decrease and the massive mob outside our palace, have decided it would be best if you resign your position as Despot of Vilgaxia.
(Vilgax): (angrily) What? You dare depose me?
(Minister): Don’t worry, Vilgax. You’re not kicked off the council just yet. You’re just taking some... time off, until things cool down, and then you'll be relocated to a place more fitting for your abilities. The Ministry of Tourism desperately needs strong leadership, my liege.
(Vilgax): Minister of Tourism? You’re demoting me, Vilgax, Despot of Vilgaxia, Conqueror of 10 Worlds, Herald of Dagon, to Minister of Tourism? Who even wants to come to this planet besides tentacle porn enthusiasts?
(Minister): Vilgax, I understand these news are upsetting to hear, but we do have it all planned out.
(Vilgax): (enraged) Oh, really? Well then, good luck finding a worthy replacement for me, because I assure you, no such person exists!
(Vilgaxian Minister): Vilgax, we already got someone as your replacement.
(Vilgax): (furious) Who?
Into the room walked a Chimera Sui Generis with a tentacle beard and tentacles tied into a man bun on the top of his head, chewing on kale and on his phone.
(Vilgaxian Minister): You remember Libgax.
(Libgax): Vilgax, brother. I am so, like, honored to be your replacement. Hold on, I have got to post this.
Libgax pulled out his phone and began taking filtered photos of him and Vilgax.
(Vilgax): Libgax? You’re letting LIBGAX run Vilgaxia? He’s going to invest all our budget into vegetable lattes or whatever it is these kids drink nowadays! He’ll run Vilgaxia to the ground, that’s what he’ll do!
(Minister): Run Vilgaxia? Who said anything about running Vilgaxia? We’re just using him as a face of progressivism while we preserve the status quo. Don’t worry, Vil, we’ll have you back as Minister of Tourism in no time.
(Libgax): Now, folks, let’s get on to our top priority of the day. Green energy for our warships.
Vilgax rolled his eyes as he began picking up his stuff, while Libgax showed his presentation in the background.
Cut to Vilgax walking out through the hallways with a cardboard box of his legendary weapons in his hand, alongside Psyphon. Vilgax grumbled.
(Vilgax): Those fools! They've doomed Vilgaxia!
(Psyphon): I-I can see you’re stressed, my liege. May I offer you a spot in my wife’s bed tonight, to relax your mind?
(Vilgax): I don’t need your wife's succulent pussy, Psyphon! I need revenge on that brat Tennyson who fooled me into being deposed! Then, maybe they'll have me back!
(Psyphon): I would advise against that, my liege. Ben seems to have another Omnitrix wielder fighting besides him, sometimes even two, according to my sources. It might be impossible to beat him, e-even for you.
(Vilgax): Hrmm. Then I’ll just send a champion to fight on my behalf!
(Psyphon): B-But who would be strong and brave enough to fight off three Omnitrix wielders, my liege?
(Mysterious Challenger): Hypothetically, I could give it a try.
Vilgax and Psyphon looked to their side, seeing a humanoid figure standing in the shadows of the wall. Vilgax smiled.
The Ben2 crew and the Bens left the Burger Shack with fries in their hands, to the confusion of the other customers. Ben2 was in the middle of a story.
(Ben2): So Zombozo tells me I’m awful. Me? How am I awful? So I tell him, you don’t know the first thing about me, pal.
The Bens heard a woosh as they looked into the air, and saw Vilgax’s spaceship hyperspeed and stop above them.
(Ben): (groaning) What now? Is that Vilgax?
(Vilgax): (through speakers on spaceship) Ben Tennyson! You have humiliated me one final time! You may have deposed from Vilgaxia, but now I will depose you from your life!
(Ben): Oh yeah? Come here and get it, Vilgax!
(Vilgax): (through speakers) Wouldn’t you like that, Tennyson! Sadly for you, I have chosen a champion who will surely be your downfall!
From Vilgax’s spaceship, a beam descended, teleporting down an average looking human, dressed in a suit, to the ground, who landed in an action pose, holding a boombox behind his back. On the back of his head was a funny looking hat.
(Ben): You’ve gotta be joking me.
(Ben Shapiro): (points at Ben) Ben Tennyson! Prepare to be DESTROYED!
Ben Shapiro dropped the boombox and pressed play. As the alien music was playing, he danced to the beat.
It started when an IDF device did what it did
It stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid
Now he’s got superpowers he’s no ordinary Yid
He’s Ben 10!
(Ben): What the fuck.
So if you see him you might be in for a big surprise
He’ll spit facts and logic right before your very eyes
He’s sharp and witty based and red-pilled
He’s every shape and size
He’s Ben 10!
Ben, Muslim Ben, Ben2 and Albedo looked in shock, while Crazy Ben began joining in on the dancing.
Armed with debate skills he’s on the case
Owning the libtards from Earth or space
He only takes rests on Saturdays
Cause he’s the baddest host to ever save the day!
Ben Shapiro, sweating, stopped dancing and shut off the boombox.
(Albedo): That went on way too long.
(Ben Shapiro): (under his breath) Phew! Good workout. (shouting) Are you ready for your demise, Tennyson?
(Ben): Christ. Um, Ben Shapiro, can you give me a second?
Ben angrily turned to Crazy Ben.
(Ben): CBT, did you sell Omnitrix secrets to the IDF?
(Crazy Ben): ...maybe.
(Ben): Dude, why?
(Ben Shapiro): Why shouldn’t he? Israel is our greatest ally, Ben Tennyson.
(Ben): That-that is up for debate, I, uh, think.
(Ben Shapiro): Are you challenging me to a debate, Ben Tennyson? I will gladly take that offer. A debate to the death it is!
(Ben): That-that is not what I was going for. I didn’t mean it like-
(Ben Shapiro): (scoffs) You should know, Tennyson, you’ll be facing quite a challenge! With my Shalomnitrix, I have 10 aliens of pure facts and logic on my side!
Ben Shapiro lifted up his wrist to display his Shalomnitrix, an Omnitrix wrapped around his arm with tefillin straps. He began cycling through his aliens, showing massive holograms behind him.
(Ben): Woah, hey, hey, look, uhm, Mr. Shapiro, I am not looking to get into any debate-
(Ben Shapiro): Too bad, Ben Tennyson! You're getting one!
(Ben): Hey, I'm an centrist, okay? I don't have any political ideals to debate with you! Ben 10 is an apolitical figure and a hero to all! I'm so centrist, I'm agnostic!
(Ben Shapiro): A centrist, eh? That means you hold some left-wing political ideals!
(Ben): That is true, but, uh, look, I’m a very busy person, I don’t know if I can slot a debate into my schedule...
(Ben Shapiro): That’s fine, Ben! We’ll do it live!
Vilgax’s ship dropped a massive television studio on the street around the Bens, complete with two podiums for debate. Vehicles drove in with a television crew, setting up cameras. Ben looked around him.
(Ben): Huh. Alright. Can-can I have a moment to discuss with my, uh, team?
(Ben Shapiro): Sure. Just don’t make me wait too long now!
(Ben): Haha, yeah, okay.
Ben turned to his alters and the BTS, who were now backstage.
(Ben): Shit, shit, what am I gonna do? I don’t have any political beliefs, I just do what the Plumbers tell me to do! All I know is how to beat the shit out of people!
Ben shifted uncomfortably in stress.
(Ben): I’m fucked! Ben Shapiro preys on people without debate skills, didn’t you guys see those videos where he viciously mutilates college students?
(Ben2): Listen, man, just do what I did. Just agree with everything he says. He’ll be so flustered he won’t know how to react.
(Ben): No, dude, I’m not getting cancelled for agreeing with Ben Shapiro.
(Ben2): Well, I’m all out of ideas.
(Ben): Come on, Abu-Spanner, help me! You’re good at talking with people... and possibly converting them?
(Muslim Ben): Are you implying I should convert Ben Shapiro to Islam to win the debate?
(Ben): ...can you?
(Muslim Ben): No, Ben, I’m not going to weaponize my strength of converting people to Islam for a silly debate. Although, it would be funny to see his political views shift... no, what am I saying?
(Crazy Ben): Ben, the obvious move is to simply delete Ben Sharpedo from existence with Alien X.
(Ben): Dude, you heard what Shapiro said before. I’m not a square, I can’t just refuse his challenge by wishing him away from existence. Toxic masculinity brought me this far, it can’t possibly fail me now!
(Crazy Ben): Well, me and Abu-Spanner could just whisper in your ear and help you win the debate.
(Ben): No, that won’t work. He saw you before, for some reason.
(Muslim Ben): Look, I may have another idea. (transform) Shrinktech!
Muslim Ben transformed into a small, grey alien with three eyes, who looked up at the Bens.
(Ben): Huh? What can this guy do?
(Muslim Ben/Shrinktech): Shrink, duh. Look.
Shrinktech fired a beam from his eyes and shrunk Crazy Ben, Ben2, Albedo, Eggy and Bomby, along with himself.
(Ben2): (blinking repeatedly) Woah.
(Muslim Ben/Shrinktech): Now put us in your ear. We’ll assist you along the way.
(Ben): Sure, I guess.
Ben checked for any onlookers and put his friends in the palm of his hand, who shrunk even more. Putting his hand next to his ear, they all walked into his earlobe. Ben2 and Albedo leaned on the side of his ear, as they finished up their Burger Shack meals.
(Ben2): Huh. Cozy.
(Ben): (outside) Can you hear me guys?
(Crazy Ben): YES!
(Ben): Ouch. (breathes in) Let’s do this.
(Ben Shapiro): Ben! Are you ready?
Ben Shapiro was standing in front of a debate podium, as the studio was filling up with people watching.
(Ben Shapiro): Let’s keep it civil today, shall we?
Ben and Ben Shapiro looked at the cameras as they turned on.
(Ben Shapiro): Good evening Bellwood, my name is Ben Shapiro, and we’re here with Ben Tennyson, also known as Ben 10, the hero and savior of many people, and the universe itself. But does all that matter, if I don’t agree with his political views? We’ll see today. Good to have you here, Ben.
(Ben): It’s good to be here.
(Ben Shapiro): As you already know, I have been hired by your arch-nemesis Vilgax to kill you, as retribution for his controversial appearance on your podcast yesterday, which lead to him being removed from his position as Despot of Vilgaxia. My question is, was this a deliberate attempt to dethrone him, after Vilgax vetoed the Plumbers’ resolution to invade communist Vreedlenam, a resolution which you publicly supported?
Meanwhile, from the spaceship, Vilgax sat on his throne, Psyphon by his side, watching the broadcast with a smile.
(Vilgax): You get him, Shapiro.
(Ben): No, that wasn’t deliberate. That wasn’t really me, that was my clone, Ben2, he’s been running the podcast all this time. Without, uh, me knowing, about it.
(Ben Shapiro): Your clone? Was he created with stem cell technology? Why do you support murdering babies in the name of science, Ben?
The audience booed.
(Ben): No, I didn’t- okay, so I actually cloned myself using Echo Echo. I don’t... really know how that works, but it’s not through murdering babies.
(Ben Shapiro): Mhm. I will make sure to ask my wife, who is a doctor, how this type of cloning works. May I ask you, why did you clone yourself?
(Ben): Okay, so um, I wanted to use two Ultimatrixes at the same time, so I could do stuff like, fusion aliens, and shit.
(Ben Shapiro): Can you elaborate on that a bit further? Did you steal an Ultimatrix from your clone for fun and games? That’s not very heroic of you, Ben 10.
(Muslim Ben/Shrinktech): (into Ben’s ear) Don't let him get more off-topic, Ben!
(Ben): That was during my brief insanity phase, which I'm sure you remember. But, hey, Mr. Shapiro, we're getting off-topic.
(Ben Shapiro): Alright, sure. Let's get back on topic. You criticized the state of Israel before. My question to you is, why are you a raging anti-semite, Ben?
(Ben): Woah, I am not an anti-semite. I have many Jewish friends, like Kevin Levin- wait, uhm, he's a Muslim now, never mind.
(Crazy Ben): What about Baumann?
(Ben2): And Ari Shaffir- no, wait, wait, that’s the-that’s the wrong show.
(Ben): Oh, oh, and Baumann. I think. Maybe.
(Ben Shapiro): Fair. It’s nice that you keep your inner circle... diverse. But, according to my Ben 10: Alien Force DVD collection, you have also teamed up with a certain Reinrassig The Third a number of times, am I correct?
(Ben): Uh, yeah, but I don't see how that is relevant-
(Ben Shapiro): Ben, why would you associate yourself with a race of racist aliens, who are very clearly an allegory to Nazis?
(Ben): You’ve seen the episode, man. You know what happened there.
(Muslim Ben/Shrinktech): Ben, he’s just trying to get you angry...
(Ben Shapiro): I mean, it’s very on the nose. High Breed? Reinrassig? That sounds very German and evil and bad.
(Ben): Hey, leave Reiny out of this, he’s a good guy. He’s not like the rest of them.
(Ben Shapiro): Quite frankly, Ben, I think he’s relevant to this debate, and deserves to be brought up.
(Ben): What debate? You’ve just been name-calling me this entire time with unfounded accusations! What are we even debating about?
(Ben Shapiro): The debate, Ben, is about your blatant antisemitism and gross misuse of power across the universe. (laughs) I mean, you're literally Hitler, Ben!
(Albedo): Reductio ad Hitlerum... dammit!
Inside Vilgax’s ship, Vilgax was ecstatic.
(Vilgax): Yes! Yes! Humiliate him!
(Ben): Where the hell did you pull that from?
(Ben Shapiro): Let’s look at the facts. You consistently use your Omnitrix to violently impose your political views upon all that surround you, you’ve beaten up your Jewish friend multiple times, you are truly scum!
The audience's booing grew even louder.
(Ben): I didn't fight Kevin cause he was Jewish, I fought him because he turned into a monster!
(Ben Shapiro): You disgust me, Tennyson.
Ben looked around to see the crowd booing him, and Ben Shapiro staring at him in a smug expression, Ben clenched his fist in anger.
(Ben2): Don’t get angry, that’s what he’s been trying to do.
(Muslim Ben/Shrinktech): Ben, relax, please, don't-
(Ben): (holding back rage) You know what, Mr. Shapiro?
Ben suddenly transformed into Rath. Out of his ear fell out Crazy Ben, Ben2, Albedo, Bomby, Eggy, and Muslim Ben, who made them grow back before he reverted.
(Ben/Rath): LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BENJAMIN AARON SHAPIRO! IF ANYONE HERE IS A NAZI, IT'S YOU! YOU ARE A SAD, ANGRY LITTLE MAN, HOLDING ON TO YOUR CONSERVATIVE BELIEFS TO FEEL SUPERIOR TO OTHERS, TWISTING "FACTS" AND "LOGIC" TO FIT YOUR AGENDA! FACTS AND LOGIC MY ASS!
Ben Shapiro began laughing.
(Albedo): (sigh) Ad hominem, Ben. It's a... argumentative fallacy. You called him... short.
(Ben Shapiro): (maniacally laughs) I’ve done it Ben! I’ve gotten you emotional! You’re attacking me and my personal appearance instead of addressing the issues of the debate! You’ve lost this debate, Ben Tennyson! I beat you!
(Ben/Rath): RRRGH! YOU AIN'T BEAT NOTHING YET!
Rath leaped at Ben Shapiro, who jumped back and quickly transformed into Math, blocking his pounce.
(Ben Shapiro/Math): Good luck beating me, Ben! My math doesn’t care about your wrath!
(Ben/Rath): WELL I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MATH!
Rath swiped his claws at Math, who blocked with his rulers.
(Ben Shapiro/Math): You wanna know an interesting fact about Appoplexians, Ben? My wife, who is a doctor, taught me this.
Rath and Math continued their duel, Math evading or blocking each one of Rath’s attacks.
Rath charged in with a blow, which Math deflected, and staggered Rath with a uppercut kick.
(Ben Shapiro/Math): See, the Appoplexian’s inner testicles, which are extremely sensitive to pain, on average, are approximately...
Math lunged in an quickly measured Rath’s crotch with his ruler, before stabbing him in the area with his other arm.
(Ben Shapiro/Math): 4 inches from the thigh.
Rath curled up on the floor in pain.
(Ben/Rath): I’m... fine... you... bastard...
Ben reverted to human from the pain, as Math reverted to Ben Shapiro. Ben Shapiro looked over Ben and laughed.
(Ben Shapiro): Ben Tennyson! I have truly defeated you! Hahahaha!
Ben Shapiro transformed into Lurnit as he levitated Ben into the air.
(Ben Shapiro/Lurnit): Now, as per our agreement, you shall die!
(Muslim Ben): No!
The Bens ran to Ben Prime’s help, before being knocked back by Lurnit, who created a force-field around him and Ben.
(Ben2): Fuckin’ bootleg Alien X ass...
(Ben Shapiro/Lurnit): As they say in Hebrew, זמן למות, Ben Tennyson!
Lurnit charged up a beam from the tip of his spear.
(Crazy Ben): No, it can’t be...
Crazy Ben noticed his Omnitrix covered in sauce from his Burger Shack meal, which suddenly began glowing yellow.
(Muslim Ben): Huh? A new alien? Now?
(Crazy Ben): New alien, who dis? (transform) BIG GRILL!
Big Grill stood there, staring in adoration at his big grill.
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): Oh boy, that looks like a mighty grill! Better get to work!
Big Grill turned on his big grill.
(Ben Shapiro/Lurnit): A new alien? I wonder what his political views are!
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): Politics? I don’t care about that. I just want to grill.
(Ben Shapiro/Lurnit): I’m afraid that’s not an option, Tennyson! There’s no way you’re stopping me!
Lurnit fired a beam from his trident at Big Grill, who simply phased through the beam as he grilled.
(Ben Shapiro/Lurnit): Huh?
Lurnit fired another beam, phasing through him. Big Grill flipped his burger and whistled.
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): Buddy, you’re kinda ruining the mood here...
(Ben Shapiro/Lurnit): How about this then, huh?
Lurnit fired a beam at his burger, burning it to a crisp. Big Grill looked in shock at his black, charred burger, before giving Ben Shapiro an angry glance.
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): STATUS QUO BREATH!
(Ben Shapiro): (laughs) What?
Big Grill released a cold breath of air from his mouth, reverting Lurnit to Ben Shapiro and freezing him in place in a block of ice, before returning to his grilling. Ben got off the floor and held his head in pain. Ben looked at the block of ice.
(Ben): W-what just happened? Is he-
Suddenly, through the ceiling, Vilgax crashed in in a terrifying leap.
(Vilgax): BEN TENNYSON! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CHAMPION?
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): He interrupted the grilling, sport. Couldn’t do nothin’ but perma-freeze the ol’ party pooper. (chuckles) I need these burgers cooked to perfection, you know?
(Vilgax): I’ll have my revenge, Tennyson! You’ll pay for this!
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): Oh, relax, big guy. Here, try one of my burgers.
Big Grill handed over a fork with a burger on the end.
(Vilgax): (confused) You don’t care that I just tried to murder you?
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): My grill is open to everyone, of all races, creeds, and planets!
(Vilgax): Give me that!
Vilgax snatched the burger from his hand, and chowed down on it.
(Vilgax): (mouth full) Rrrgh... this is really good, Ben.
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): I appreciate the complement, Villy.
Big Grill continued flipping burgers.
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): You know what this barbecue is missing? Some music!
Big Grill pulled out an old music player from under his cloak, and started playing some classic rock, The Times They are A-Changing by Bob Dylan.
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): Ah, some Bob Dylan. Great apolitical music, perfect for a barbecue.
(Muslim Ben): CBT, are these halal?
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): You betcha!
(Muslim Ben): Save me a burger, will you?
(Ben): Yeah, I want one as well.
(Ben2): Hey, can I get a try? I’ve got this sick munch, dude.
(Albedo): Get me a plate too, Ben2.
(Bomby): Bomb bomb!
(Crazy Ben/Big Grill): Fellas, fellas, please, one at a time!
The TV crew, the other Bens, and Vilgax and Psyphon enjoyed Big Grill’s barbecue grilling as the music played, as a frozen Ben Shapiro looked from the side, a single tear dropping from his eye.
- Ben Tennyson
- Vilgaxian Ministry
- Ben Shapiro
- Infinite Ek (BTSFEOOF debut)
By Crazy Ben
By Muslim Ben
- Shrinktech (debut)
By Ben Shapiro