Evan Billion
Season 2, Episode 13
Shakin' Chefs
Air date N/A
Written by Ultimatehero
Directed by Ultimatehero
Episode Guide
73 Floors of Terror: Part 2
The Ray of Death/Short


Evan and Tipidu were walking on a sidewalk.

(Tipidu): My latest invention is.......THE IDK RAY!

(Evan): The IDK Ray? Why's it called that?

(Tipidu): IDK.

(Evan): Let's IDK ourselves over to that restaurant.

They went to the restaurant. Tipidu accidentally blasted it. The restaurant became a large "IDK" and the letters flew away. The head of the restaurant came up to them.

(Head): What-a did you do-a to my restaurant-a?

(Evan): Well, Tipidu was walking, and he tripped over a rock, and the rock ate him. And Tipidu ate him back.



(Head): You just-a said that-a backwards le.

(Evan): He's all about backwards!


(Head): Start-a working le!

Evan and Tipidu put on chef costumes and started working at Bakeria Mia. Evan looked at a cookbook.

(Evan): I'll make this! It says I need some snails.

Evan went outside, and saw someone giving away slugs. He took a box and brought it in the kitchen. He took out the slugs and started cooking them.


The oven dinged.

(Evan): It's ready!

Evan opened the oven door and got out his meal.

(Tipidu): What's that supposed to be?

(Evan): Escalator-truck-goat, I think.

(Tipidu): Escargot? You needed snails.

(Evan): These are snails.

(Tipidu): No, those are slugs.

(Evan): No, these are slugs.

Evan held out his hands, and there were ticks on it.

(Tipidu): No, those are ticks.

(Evan): No, these are ticks.

Evan held two mini activated time bombs, and they blew the roof of the kitchen off. The head chef came in.

(Head): I forgot-a to tell you the rules-a of cooking le. Rule One: Respect-a your food by being le clean.

Bless Me (2)

(Head): Rule Two: Fold-a your mustaches-a when you're-a serving, curl them-a when you're cooking le, and straight down-a for eating le.

(Tipidu): Umm, we don't have mustaches.


The head shot a beam from a wooden spoon that gave Evan and Tipidu mustaches.

(Evan): Not bad. But I'd rather get one like Moustachio.

(Tipidu): Chin version?

(Evan): No, head version.

(Evan and Tipidu): Double mustache!

(Head): Curl your mustaches-a and cook Table 34's order le, a meat sandwich-a with cheese soup-a.

Evan and Tipidu curled their mustaches, then Tipidu dug out some cheese and Evan got some meat and bread. They cooked too close to each other, and ended up making a cheese sandwich and meat soup.

(Evan): I'll eat the meat soup, and you eat the cheese sandwich.

Evan tried to eat the meat soup, but it was too nasty. He turned into Emotion and punched the meat soup. It was flatter, and Evan turned to normal and ate it.

(Evan): Why haven't you eaten your cheese sandwich?

(Tipidu): I'm trying to switch my mind to dairy.

Tipidu thought real hard, and accidentally shot a smart ray at the cheese sandwich. The cheese sandwich grew arms, legs, and a brain.

(Cheese Sandwich): I shall get all food!

The cheese sandwich ran out the door. Evan and Tipidu chased it. The cheese sandwich jumped on a table, then jumped on another table. Evan turned into Edibility and jumped on the table, but the person there tried to eat his leg.

(Tipidu): I'll catch him!

Tipidu thought about stopping, then passed it to the cheese sandwich. The cheese sandwich stopped, and Tipidu crept toward it. The cheese sandwich started running. Evan kicked the person, then jumped and shot caramel at the cheese sandwich, sticking it down.

(Cheese Sandwich): You can't catch me!

The cheese sandwich threw a blade at the wall, and the boards holding it up fell on the caramel. The cheese sandwich squeezed himself out. Evan shot toppings everywhere, but they missed. Tipidu reused the thought about stopping and formed it in the cheese sandwich. The cheese sandwich stopped, and Evan shot cheese, caramel, and ketchup at the cheese sandwich.

(Evan): Got you now!

Evan held the cheese sandwich up in the air and got ready to step on it. The head chef walked in.


(Evan): The cheese sandwich came-

(Head): Destroying food-a and my restaurant-a? You are-a worse chefs le then Chef Worsechef!

The head pointed at Worsechef, who was drinking frying liquid. He got his head out, and it became a fry. Evan turned to normal.

(Head): You are-a banned from my restaurant forever-a! Get outta here le!

Evan and Tipidu took off their costumes and hung them up. They went outside, and Kevin was there.

(Kevin): Your job at the restaurant failed? Try working at the grocery store.


Evan and Tipidu were shooting laser rays at food with wings.

Can't Beat Them, Join Them

Ray is chasing Caecus when he becomes invisible. Ray wonders where Caecus is, and is mad at Usynligian powers. He orders a Usynligian potion, and a Tetramand drops it from a ship. Ray drinks it, and his eyes combine to become one blue eye, and he gets a tail. He sees Caecus near some boulders, and uses his speed to get to Caecus. Caecus runs as fast as Ray, so they run side-by-side. Ray uses his tail to grab Caecus' leg, but Caecus lifts his leg and Ray tumbles under Caecus. Caecus sits on Ray for a while.

Ray's arms and legs become the shape of the legs of a Usynligian, and Ray gets little stubs for new arms. He wedges himself between two boulders and turns his legs, eye, and tail invisible. He sticks his tail out, and turns himself gray like the boulders. He waits for Caecus, and when he sees him running towards him, he stretches out his tail. When Caecus is about to touch Ray, Ray uses his tail to press Caecus against his body, then starts moving the two boulders forward. Caecus keeps trying to squeeze out of Ray's grip, and he eventually does. The boulders crush Ray.

It rains for a while, then a rainbow appears. Ray is now almost fully a Usynligian. His head is now completely blue and his stubs have evolved to arms. Now, only his torso shows his Chroman heritage. He sees a bunch of Usynligians protecting Caecus, so he turns his torso blue and runs to them. He gets known in the Usynligian crowd, then sees Caecus eating a hamburger. Ray slowly creeps towards Caecus, and hides around the rainbow. Caecus thinks he sees something weird out of the corner of his eye, so he looks at the rainbow. He wonders why there is Usynligian Blue in the rainbow, and he sees Ray as a Usynligian. Ray turns his torso back to rainbow to blend in, but it is too late. Caecus calls for the other Usynligian, and they defeat Ray by disappearing and reappearing. Ray gets two black eyes, and they start growing and turn him back into a Chroman. A purple Chroman. Ray orders some rainbow paint, and a Vaxasaurian drops it out of the ship. Ray starts painting himself, but does not do it carefully and looks like a character on a show for little girls.

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