|Season Holiday Specials, Episode Idk|
Ben is muslim now
Ben is chilling in his house watching TV with Eggy when he suddenly has an urge for cornflakes.
(Ben): wHERE IS MAH CORNFLAEK HUEHUEHUEHUEHEUHEUHEUH LOLZ
Eggy stares at him awkwardly.
(Eggy): Bawk. (Ben, it has been 9 years since you have been forced into this state. Your mental health shows no sign of getting any better and it worries me dearly. You still behave like a 2012 teenager and even though I am simply an unlicensed character stolen from Angry Birds that has no business existing within this universe it still pains me dearly to see you stuck in this state. Sometimes I wonder if the real Ben is somewhere inside, trapped in the backseat of his own mind, preventing himself from ever getting a chance to live a normal life again. Every time we have tried to save you and return you to normal you have always prevented it somehow using your multititude of reality-bending alien forms. It is a cruel and undeserving fate for a man who has saved countless lives. Despite my moral objections to the death penalty for once I am glad it is legal in Bellwood is in because the horrible, horrible man who has trapped you like this has finally gotten the electric chair two weeks ago. Good riddance Clancy, I hope Hell is real because you deserve eternal damnation.)
(Ben): PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
Ben went to the kitchen to look for Trix or something, but he did not find it.
(Ben): no cornflake ;((( Maybe in the garage? O_o XD
Ben entered the garage, to find Kevin, crouched on a mat on the floor, chanting prayers in Arabic.
(Kevin): Ben, let me finish my Maghrib prayer and I promise I will explain everything.
(Ben): Uhh... okay.
(Kevin): (finishes prayer) Okay, Ben, look. After the Plumbers' tour in Gourmandistan I became a crippling alcoholic as a way for me to cope with all the horrors I've seen during the war. I was at my lowest point in life. Me and Gwen broke up and she kicked me out. I slept in Plumbers HQ for a few months before they kicked me out as well. I was homeless for 10 months, Ben. But then I reconnected with the man we once knew as Argit, and now goes by the name Sonic Islam. And he gave me this book.
Kevin pulled out a Qu'ran from the table near him, and showed it to Ben.
(Kevin): The Qu'ran. With the help of Sonic Islam I am now a fully converted muslim, and have fully recovered from my addictions, alhamdulilah.
(Ben): Wait, you were homeless? You and Gwen separated? EPIC FAIL!
Ben looked at Kevin, and realized what he had said.
(Ben): I'm-I'm sorry Kevin.
(Kevin): It's okay, Ben. I don't blame you for your mental illness making you forget these past 2 years. As I have said before, I am in a better position than ever. I am 14 months clean, and I have found a new job as a peacekeeper for the United Nations, where I can actually make a difference. Me and Gwen, who has converted to Islam as well, have reconciled and are now engaged. Our wedding shall be 4 months from now, inshallah. I assume you don't remember my invitation either.
(Ben): Wow. Much forget. Such wedding. I-I mean, are you sure you want me at your wedding? When I'm like this trolololololololo
(Kevin): Yes, Ben, I would be delighted to have you at my wedding. And I believe I know something that can heal you from your illness.
(Ben): What ROFL
(Kevin): (points at his Qu'ran) The words of the Most Gracious himself.
(Ben): OP OP OPPA QURAN STYLE (does the gangnam style dance)
(Kevin): (chuckles) Come on Ben, time for our first lesson.
One EPIC montage of Ben and Kevin learning about the ways of Islam together, over a long period of time.
Ben and Kevin were in the garage together.
(Ben): Thank you for these wondrous lessons, Kevin Ibn-Devin. I have finally overcome my mental illness, alhamdulillah.
(Kevin): I am proud of you, Ben.
(Ben): YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WOOT WOOT. Oh no. It seems I am not fully cured.
(Kevin): Yes, Ben. So far we have only studied the Islamic scriptures. But now, you must make the step forward and convert. Go upstairs and take a shower, and I shall teach you the words to finally convert.
Ben went upstairs and took a shower, and as he came downstairs he noticed his entire family, dressed in traditional Muslim clothing, in his living room.
(Ben): WTFRICK? I mean, what’s going on?
(Kevin): Ben, I didn’t want to tell you this before, as to not to make your mental health worse, but during the last 2 years I have also managed to introduce the rest of your family into the ways of Islam, alhamdulillah. Ben, meet your grandfather, Sheikh Maxwell.
(Maxwell): Salam Alaikum, habibi.
(Ben): G-grampa... (sniff) I can’t believe you’re muslim too...
(Kevin): Now Ben, say the following words: "Ash-hadu an la ilaha ill Allah."
(Ben): "Ash-hadu an la ilaha ill Allah."
(Kevin): “Wa ash-hadu ana Muhammad ar-rasullallah.”
(Ben): “Wa ash-hadu ana Muhammad ar-rasullallah.”
The Tennyson family erupted into cheers.
(Kevin): Congratulations Ben, you have now fully converted to Islam!
(Ben): EPIC SAUCE- Erm, I am now humbled within his light.
Sheikh Maxwell was going to the mosque to pray, and suddenly noticed a Kinnecelaran doing his prayers at x500 speed.
(XLR8): Alright! All done!
(Max): Ben! What are you doing!
(XLR8): I just finished my Ramadan prayers quickly, shiekh. Now I have more time to spread the word of Islam across the galaxy!
(Max): That is no excuse for speeding through your prayers, that is very haram Ben!
(XLR8): I mean like I don’t know sheikh XLR8 processed the prayers normally so like it isn’t technically haram.
(Max): Well, it sounds pretty haram to me.
(XLR8): OK BOOMER LOL PWNED - I apologize honored sheikh, it again seems like I am not fully cured.
(Max): I understand and I forgive you, haifidi. Anyway, I believe we should redo your prayers, this time I will do them with you.
(Ben): Alright, grandfather, I shall respect my elders’ judgement, in accordance with the Qu’ran’s teachings.
Ben and Max both knelt to pray, before an explosion was heard outside. A voice was heard from outside.
(Dr. Animo): BEN TENNYSON! I’VE HEARD YOU’VE REJECTED THE TRUE WAYS OF ATHEISM! COME OUT HERE SO I CAN SHOW YOU HOW FAKE YOUR GOD IS SO YOU CAN GO BACK TO DRINKING ALCOHOL AND HAVING PREMARITAL SEX WITH PROMISCUOUS WOMEN OF WESTERN SOCIETY!
People were screaming outside.
(Max): Our prayers can wait!
Ben and Max rushed outside, to see Dr. Animo standing out in the street with an army of mutated animals.
(Dr. Animo): So nice of you to join me, Tennyson! I have some scientific proof to show you that will blow your peabrain religious mind and show you how “real” your imaginary friend is!
From behind Dr. Animo came out a chimpanzee.
(Dr. Animo): If your so called GOD created everything on this Earth and evolution isn’t real, EXPLAIN THIS!
Dr. Animo pulled out a laser gun and shot it at the chimp, transforming it into a man.
(Dr. Animo): That was my evolution gun, Tennyson! How can you say evolution doesn’t exist now, huh?
(Ben): But Animo, if man evolved from the ape, then why do apes still exist?
(Dr. Animo): Wha-? Because-because- That’s not how evolution works! Evolution is a lengthy process that takes over millions of years-
(Ben): Millions of years, Animo? How can that be when the universe is only around 6000 years old?
(Dr. Animo): It’s not 6000 years old, it’s over millions of years old!
(Ben): Oh yeah? According to who?
(Dr. Animo): According to years of science and research, stop listening to your phony old book and start reading up some facts for a ch-
(Ben): Hey Atheist. You should clean after your grandpa, he made a really big mess.
(Dr. Animo): Wha-
Dr. Animo looked back and saw one of his chimps defecating on the floor.
(Dr. Animo): CURSE YOU TENNYSON! ATTACK THEM, MY ALCOHOL-INFUSED HOGS!
Dr. Animo’s mutant alcohol-reeking pigs attacked Ben and Max.
(Ben): I’ve got just the hero for this. (transforms) UPCHUCK!
Upchuck leaped into the air and grabbed a piece of rock to throw at Animo with his tongues.
(Max): Ben! Wait! You cannot eat during the Ramadan fast, that is extremely haram!
Upchuck leaped down to the ground, and slammed his Omnitrix, transforming him into Clockwork.
(Clockwork): If I can’t eat during the daytime, why not just make it into NIGHT TIME!
Clockwork’s gears started spinning as time progressed by and it became night. He then slapped his Omnitrix and transformed into Upchuck, before grabbing the same rock to throw.
(Max): Wait, Ben!
(Max): You just cheated through your Ramadan fast! That is very haram!
(Max): It sounds pretty haram to me, I think. You just skipped a whole day where you were supposed to fast.
(Upchuck): But I perceived time normally as Clockwork during my timeskip.
(Max): Well, but I didn’t. Neither did anyone in the mosque.
(Upchuck): You’re right, sheikh, I am sorry for doubting you. (transforms) CLOCKWORK!
Clockwork reverted time to morning.
(Clockwork): (transforms) UPCHUCK!
Upchuck jumped towards the pigs, trying to fight them without eating, but was instantly defeated as the pigs swarmed him and started kicking him as he curled up on the ground.
(Upchuck): AAHHHH THIS IS NOT DAIJOBU
(Max): Ben, maybe you just should use an alien besides Upchuck?
(Upchuck): You're right Grandpa! (transforms) EATLE!
The pigs continued kicking him in the stomach, as one of the pigs dragged him across the street and put his upper mouth on the curb, as Eatle tried to resist them before they could curbstomp him.
(Eatle): NO NO PLEASE IM TOO BASED TO DIE LIKE THIS
(Max): BEN! MAYBE EATLE ISNT THE RIGHT ALIEN FOR THIS!
(Eatle): You're right grandpa, maybe Eatle isn't the right alien for this... (transforms) BUT VIKING EATLE IS!
Viking Eatle swung his hammer around him, pushing all the pigs backwards, who kept swarming him.
(Max): Are you sure he's the right alien for this?
(Viking Eatle): YUS.
(Max): Ben, I think your insane side has taken over you again!
(Viking Eatle): shut up bøømer
(Dr. Animo): Nice to see you back Ben!
As Viking Eatle was being swarmed completely by pigs, he swung his hammer into the air, and let out a battle cry.
(Viking Eatle): BY THE PØWER ØF THØR, LET LIGHTNING STRIKE!
(Viking Eatle): WTFUDGE WHY WØNT IT WØRK
(Max): Ben! There is no God but Him!
Viking Eatle shook his head, as if awoken from a trance.
(Viking Eatle): Yøu’re right, Grandpa. It seems that my insane side has taken øver me during the battle. Time tø finish this! (transform) Diamondhead!
Diamondhead encased the pigs in diamond pyramids and jumped towards Animo, punching him square in the jaw.
(Dr. Animo): Ouch! So much for the religion of peace!
(Diamondhead): Hey, that’s unfair. I was forced to fight you to protect the people around me, you initiated the violence, how am I to respond?
(Dr. Animo): You know what’s unfair Tennyson? Breaking our intellectual debate with an infantile joke!
(Diamondhead): I agree, as you may have seen during our fight I am not entirely in control of my insane side, and I still have these outbursts every now and then. If you want my response to our debate, then here it is: your experiment proved nothing about the existence of God. Many religious people of the Abrahamic believe in evolution, as it is not entirely contradictory to the Bible or the Qur'an. In fact, Shia scholar Hussein al-Jisr, declared that there is no contradiction between evolution and the Islamic scriptures. He stated that "there is no evidence in the Quran to suggest whether all species, each of which exists by the grace of God, were created all at once or gradually,” and referred-
(Dr. Animo): (interrupting) You know Ben, I’d honestly rather just fight you at this point.
Diamondhead sighed, and then thought about it for a few seconds.
Dr. Animo swung at him with his staff, as Diamondhead simply stood in place. Dr. Animo kept swinging at him.
(Diamondhead): Sheikh, can you toss me your taqiyah?
Max tosses his taqiyah at Diamondhead, who put it on his Omnitrix symbol and pushed it down.
(Hat Diamondhead): HAT DIAMONDHEAD! Thank you for opening my eyes, Aloysius, I could have resolved this peacefully all along.
Hat Diamondhead, now with a taqiyah, created a diamondhat and placed it over Dr. Animo’s head, taking control of him, and making him walk towards a police car where he was subsequently arrested. Ben reverted, and gave Max back his taqiyah.
(Ben): Back to our prayers, sheikh?
(Max): Inshallah no one will disturb us this time.
They walked back to the mosque.
Ben was sitting on the sofa, meddling with his Omnitrix. Gwen walked up to him.
(Gwen): Ben, what are you doing?
(Ben): My fight today with Animo made me realize I must delete Alien X from my Omnitrix, as his existence implies the non-existence of God.
(Gwen): Who do you think created the Celestialsapiens, Ben?
(Ben): Oh. You’re right, Gwen.
Suddenly, a portal appeared in their living room. Out of it came Spanner.
(Ben): Spanner, ibni!
(Spanner): Hello, baba. I am here from the future to complete my time loop, and ask you to marry my mom, Kai Tennyson in this arranged marriage I have set up for you. Maybe this will finally cure you from your insanity. We have the venue set up outside.
(Gwen): Congratulations, Ben!
(Ben): (crying) Thank you, ibni. I shall go upstairs and put on my best clothes.
Ben put on a tuxedo, and went outside, to find a magnificent, wedding ceremony waiting outside, with all his friends and family invited.
As he walked down the aisle, his friends shook his hands and congratulated him.
(Azmuth): My congratulations, Abu-Spanner. I have taken your advice and converted to Islam as well.
(Ben): Thank you, Azmuth, congratulations on your conversion. May you spread the good word of Islam across the Galaxy.
Argit came and shook Ben’s hand.
(Argit): Congratulations, Abu-Spanner.
(Ben): Thank you, Sonic Islam.
Baumann, dressed in islamic attire, came to Ben and shook his hand as well.
(Baumann): Abu-Spanner, after finding Islam, I have found it within myself to forgive your past deeds. I am honored to be at your wedding.
(Ben): Thank you, Sheikh Baumann.
Rook came and shook his hand as well.
(Rook): Congratulations, Abu-Spanner-Dude.
(Eggy): Bawk Bawk! (Ben, I am so happy for you. You've finally found peace.)
(Ben): Thank you, Eggy.
After receiving his congratulations from all his friends and family, Ben finally walked up the aisle, and saw his bride, Kai Green. As he stepped up to the podium, Ben suddenly screamed in pain, and clutched him chest as he fell to the floor.
(Ben): No... what is happening...
Ben collapsed on the ground, with his wedding guests surrounding him.
Ben woke up in an empty building floor, looking over at the Bellwood skyline through a huge window. Beside him was Ben in a taqiyah, Ben with messed up hair and a deranged appearance, and Grandpa Max, holding hands with a 10 year old Ben.
(Insane Ben): (in voice-over) WASSUUUP. God, that’s always been lame, hasn’t it? Sorry I repeat the same memes that aged like milk. Then again, I don’t even have a personality. Just a guy trying to play God without permission.
(Insane Ben): You told me once that this would be a black void, absolute nothingness. Is that true?
(Muslim Ben): We’ll always be a part of him, habibi.
Muslim Ben walked out of the door of the office.
(Insane Ben): (in voice-over) This whole time, I thought saving the world was something you did, an act you performed, something you fought for. I don't know if that's true anymore. What if changing the world was just about being here, by showing up no matter how many times we get told we don't belong, by staying true even when we're shamed into being false, by believing in ourselves even when we're told we're too different? And if we all held on to that, if we refuse to budge and fall in line, if we stood our ground for long enough, just maybe the world can't help but change around us. Even though we'll be gone, it's like Muslim Ben said. We'll always be a part of Ben Tennyson. And we'll be the best part, because we're the part that always showed up. We're the part that stayed. We're the part that changed him. And who wouldn't be proud of that?
Insane Ben walked after Muslim Ben, through the door of the office, through a hallway, and into a movie theatre, where a projector whirred over him. He went to the seats, where he saw his personalities sitting in a row: 10 year old Ben, Grandpa Max and Muslim Ben. He sat between Muslim Ben and 10-year old Ben, and stared as the movie rolled, tears in his eyes, watching as the events of his Insane Ben years rolled on the screen.
Ben woke up in a hospital bed, looking up at Gwen, who looked into his eyes, relieved.
(Gwen): Hello, Ben.
- Gwen Tennyson
- Kevin Levin
- Sheikh Maxwell
- Sonic Islam
- Sheikh Baumann
- Dr. Animo
- Honestly until I write another episode for whatever reason this is the series finale lmao
- Yes I ripped off Omni-World's series finale, how could you tell?
- Dude please I swear I'm not Islamophobic an actual muslim approved this episode please