|Season 2, Episode 3|
|Written by||Agent H|
|Directed by||Agent H|
Evan Billion: Regular Show Version
Evan was Greedusa, fighting a sphere of dirt that wanted to cover the earth with dirt and dust.
(Sphere): You cannot defeat me! I will accomplish my dirt-and-dust goal! Say good-bye to regular earth!
The sphere made a dirt hand and grabbed Evan. Evan shot snakes to bite the dirt away, then attacked the sphere with his head snakes. The sphere shapeshifted into a boy-like figure with no eyes, and fought Evan. Evan used his snakes to grab the sphere's arms and legs, and then controlled two stones to make eyes on the sphere. Evan looked at the stones, and the sphere turned into stone.
(Evan): Ha ha ha!
A police officer saw what happened from after the sphere talked.
(Police Officer): Escaped criminal!
(Evan): Wait? What? No! This orange suit is part of my alien!
(Police Officer): Tell that to the judge, creepy woman.
(Evan): I'm a boy! You can't do this to me! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Police Officer): I'M FIRIN MAH TAZOR!
The police officer shocked Evan and knocked him out, then dragged him to prison.
The police officer was dragging Evan past some jail cells. He stopped at a jail cell holding an Arachnichimp with black flat hair, and a trimmed tail. The police officer opened the jail cell and threw Evan in. The Arachnichimp tried to get out, but the police officer threw a pie in his face and closed the door.
(Arachnichimp): Listen, bub. It's just you, and me, and you, and me, and you, and me, and you, and me, and you, and me, and you, and me, and you, and me, and you, and-
(Evan): Are you done?
(Arachnichimp): And Big Fat Ol' Falldown.
Big Fat Ol' Falldown fell on Evan. She was a short, fat Vaxasaurian with pink stains on her, and short droopy yellow hair.
(Big Fat Ol' Falldown): We're gonna have a niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice time with another female in the house.
(Evan): How many times do I have to say I'm a boy?
(Big Fat Ol' Falldown): A million.
(Evan): I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy I'm a boy do I really have to do this?
Evan turned into a snake and slipped in between the bars. He started slithering towards the exit, and a white hand picked him up.
(Tipidu): I can check a snake off the list of earth animals I've seen.
Tipidu pulled out a checklist and checked something.
Evan slipped out of Tipidu's gripped and turned back.
(Tipidu): That looks like a color-swapped version of Asudem, the Keerg Mythology woman with ekanses on her head, and turns herself into stone!
(Evan): Umm, no. I'm Evan, and I wield a device called the Billiontrix that lets me turn into aliens. This is one of my forms.
(Tipidu): Cool. I'm Tipidu, opposite of the Dumbdude Udipit. When I was young enough to think like my species, I realized I was on Thrae and not on my regular planet, Aignihtonon, I wanted to go to it. I saw some namuhs working on a llird, and I wanted to help them. I was the tester, and I started to fly to Aignihtonon, but accidentally flew into a portal and crashed on earth. Since the llird was anti-matter, when it got destroyed in the crash, it flipped my language. A police officer arrested me because they thought I was a criminal, due to the orange.
(Evan): The orange suit on this alien must have got me in jail, too. Let's escape.
(Prison Warden): Lunch time!
The prison warden unlocked the door and guided them to the cafeteria. They both went through the lunch line.
(Evan): What's for lunch?
(Lunch Lady): Sloppy Joe or carelessrots.
(Evan): I'll have the sloppy joe.
(Tipidu): I'll have the carelessrot. I need to stay healthy.
The lunch lady put a large sloppy joe on Evan's tray, and an orange and green slop on Tipidu's tray, and they sat down near a Talpaedan and a Cerebrocrustacean.
(Tipidu): You should have got the carrot. I need to stay strong.
Tipidu ate the carelessrot, and fell over.
(Talpaedan): Ha ha ha! That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!
Evan tore a circle off his top and bottom bun, and reached for some meat. A Gourmand hand grabbed him, and a Gourmand came out.
(Gourmand): Hi! I'm Joe, the sloppiest Gourmand anyone has ever seen!
(Evan): I was about to eat you!
(Joe): You were about to eat me? Or you were about to eat him? Or were you about to eat hdkdhgndhgnd? I LOVE ITALICS! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
(Evan): What's with all the italic awkward silences? It's not fun.
(Lunch Lady): Actually, it is kind of fun..................................................................................................
(Evan): STOP WITH THE ITALICS!
The prison warden took them all back to their cells. Night came, and Evan and Tipidu slept. When they woke up, there was a loud noise.
(Tipidu): Let's go check out that noise.
They went to where the noise was coming from. It was coming from the Talpaedan, with the Cerebrocrustacean next to him.
(Tipidu): Are you guys trying to get out of prison? If so, we want in.
(Cerebrocrustacean): Alright. Come here and if you can help us, do so.
Evan turned into Upside Up and combined his kiss blast with his iron fist and made a monster mouth rise from the ground. The mouth started eating the ground. They helped until there was a hole. They all got in, and the Talpaedan motioned for them to walk slowly.
(Evan): Why do we have to walk slowly?
(Talpaedan): I have been here more than anyone before. There is creepy stuff down here. Cree-ee-py stuff.
(Evan): Like that giant baby head with fangs?
A floating baby head with fangs appeared.
(Tipidu): Or that spiky red bomb with a skull?
A spiky red bomb with a skull appeared.
(Talpaedan): Or a giant piece of chocolate blueberry pie?
(Evan): Wearing poisonous armor and holding a deadly flamethrower? Yes.
A giant piece of chocolate blueberry pie wearing poisonous armor and holding a deadly flamethrower appeared. They all ran until they saw sunlight, and climbed up a ladder and they were out of the underground. Evan turned to normal.
(Evan): Yes! We're out!
(Police Officer): Or are you?
The police officer held a gun.
(Evan, Talpaedan, and Cerebrocrustacean): AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Tipidu): Why are you screaming? It's just a clown wearing a blue fat suit.
(Evan): Are you a clown wearing a blue fat suit?
(Police Officer): Ummmm, ummmmm, are you a clown wearing a blue fat suit?
(Evan): Ummmmmm, BLAH!
(Police Officer): What?
Evan jumped at the officer and punched him. He wanted to turn into Lightmeraction, but instead, turned into Useless.
(Evan): What is thirty feet long and smells like a foot in a firey sauna?
(Police Officer): What?
(Evan): Made ya look!
Evan kicked the police officer.
(Police Officer): Fight me more, and I'll take out the bridge with my laser gun!
Evan grabbed the gun, and they played tug of war with it.
(Evan): If you are red then I am blue if you like pie then my belly likes you!
Evan hit the police officer with his belly and he flew forward, and Evan held the gun. He turned to normal. The Talpaedan and the Cerebrocrustacean left.
(Evan): Wanna be friends?
Evan shot the gun at the screen.
Ray was chasing Caecus on a land of dirt. Caecus ran faster, and ran away from Ray. Caecus started walking, and a drill came up from the ground. Ray grabbed the scientist in the drill and threw him. Ray got in the drill, and dug into the ground.
Caecus was eating a cheeseburger when he heard a loud noise. He slammed his head in the ground a lot, and saw Ray was under him in the drill. Caecus popped his head up and ran. Ray drilled in the ground. Ray drilled under Caecus. He drilled past Caecus, then drilled up in front of him. Caecus ran the other way. Ray tried to go to the surface and chase him, but he was stuck in the hole. The drill fell over and rolled away.
Caecus was running. He saw a cheeseburger and started eating it. Ray was behind a large rock. The drilling part of the drill was in the ground. Ray got in the drill and turned it on. The drill turned, and sent dirt flying at Caecus. It landed next to him. The dirt piled up, and fell on Ray.
- Evan first meets Tipidu.