|WARNING: PROFANITY FOLLOWS|
|The following content contains profanity that may not be suitable for readers of all ages. Please proceed with caution.|
|Ben 10: Stupidity Force: End Of Omnivangelion: Future|
|Season 1, Episode 7|
Ben 10 vs. The CEO of Racism
Sumo Slammers Ruined An Entire Generation Of Men
Money Machine is the seventh episode of Ben 10: Stupidity Force: End Of Omnivangelion: Future.
Ben tries to use Debtpay to solve the student debt crisis, but ends up causing hyperinflation.
The Bens were walking down the Bellwood street.
(Ben): Damn, it is really nice outside. A good day for pizza outdoors.
Suddenly, the three heard what sounded like a massive blast of steam. Turning their heads, they saw Steam Smythe, standing on his steamship, aiming his cannons at a tall building, and yelling into a primitive megaphone.
(Steam Smythe): My good people of Bellwood! I have come here today to free you all from the bindings of technology! Today, I shall demolish Teslapple’s so called VR Amusement Park, a wretched abomination and abhorrent deviation from classic, time-tested amusement parks!
Up on Steam Smythe’s ship, the Bens could see hundreds of people in VR goggles tied up as hostages.
(Ben): Who the hell is this guy?
(Muslim Ben): He's from the reboot, I think.
(Crazy Ben): U guys mind if I take this one
(Ben): No, not at all. Go ahead, we'll get the pizzas.
(Crazy Ben): Yee (transform) Apefruit!
(Steam Smythe): Reject the ways of modern technology! Return to tradition! Return to the ways of steam!
(Crazy Ben/Apefruit): Why stop there? Go all the way, return to monkey!
Apefruit leaped off from the street, and began jumping towards Steam Smythe's ship, boosting himself upwards with streams of grapefruit juice from his palms.
Ben and Muslim Ben went to the pizza parlor and began deciding on their pizza.
(Muslim Ben): Man, I’d really love a sausage pizza right now.
(Ben): Nah, we can’t buy those anymore. It’s not kosher for CBT.
(Muslim Ben): Really? Thought kosher food was the same as halal food. Except for like, alcohol.
(Ben): Nah, CBT told me a bit about it. It’s like, meat-wise the same, but there’s also some more stuff. Like, you have to wait a few hours between eating dairy and meat. That’s why he doesn’t eat cheeseburgers anymore.
(Muslim Ben): Really? Why’s that?
From behind them, they could hear the hiss of acid melting through metal. A few moments later, a massive creak of metal was heard, before a crashing sound.
(Steam Smythe): MY SHIP! MY BEAUTIFUL SHIP!
(Ben): Okay, so, like, in the Bible, there’s like this line that goes “Don’t eat a young goat in his mother’s milk.” Or something like that. And then like, some Rabbis interpreted that line a bit too literally, I think. There might be more to it I don’t really remember.
(Muslim Ben): Huh. Interesting how Christianity is the only religion without strict dietary laws.
(Ben): I actually remember this from Sunday School once. So, in Christianity, Saint Peter actually had a vision of God pretty much straight up telling him he can eat whatever he wants, invalidating all of the previous Kosher laws.
(Muslim Ben): Just like that?
(Ben): Just like that, yeah.
Behind them, a green flash lighted up. Sounds of rockets being fired off were heard, followed by the same acidic hissing.
(Steam Smythe): MY EYES!
(Muslim Ben): Sounds like he was just looking for an excuse to try out bacon.
(Ben): Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Don’t say that near my Sunday School teacher, though. I... got punished for that hard.
(Muslim Ben): So wait, what are we ordering?
(Ben): We all like mushroom toppings, right?
(Muslim Ben): Yeah, I think so.
(Ben): Alright. (to cashier) One mushroom pizza, please.
Apefruit returned to Ben and Muslim Ben, now covered in metallic plating. Behind him, they saw a blindfolded Steam Smythe being arrested by the police, as the hostages returned to their families.
(Ben): Oh, hey CBT, how'd it go?
(Crazy Ben/Omni-Kix Apefruit): Sicknasty! I unlocked a new alien! This is OMNI-KIX APEFRUIT!
Omni-Kix Apefruit flexed, showing off his rocket launchers.
(Ben): Damn, that looks cool.
Crazy Ben reverted.
(Crazy Ben): What did you get on the pizza?
(Crazy Ben): Nice
Ben took his pizza from the counter. From behind, Ben heard a familiar voice approaching him.
(Jimmy): Hey, Ben! Thanks for the rescue!
Ben turned around to see an adult Jimmy Jones.
(Ben): Hey, Jimmy Jones! Long time no see!
(Jimmy Jones): Yeah, you too!
Ben and Jimmy high-fived.
(Jimmy): Again, thanks for the rescue. That's a new alien, right? Never seen him before.
(Ben): Yeah, his name is Apefruit. He’s cool. So how's it going?
(Jimmy): It's going uh, pretty well, you know? Just finished college a few months ago, started interning at Teslapple, pretty-pretty good.
(Ben): Oh, that's really cool, Jimmy. Happy for you, man.
Jimmy awkwardly looked around, scratching his neck.
(Ben): Is-is there something you wanna tell me, Jimmy?
(Jimmy): Well... you may have saved me, uh, physically, but... mentally, I'm not doing great. Fiscally either, for that matter.
(Ben): What's wrong?
(Jimmy): (stuttering) I, um, I'm fucking drowning in student debt, man. I-I know this might be uncomfortable for you but, uh, believe me it's a lot more uncomfortable for me to ask, but uh, well, since you're rich, is-is there any way you could possibly help me pay them off. Not-not the whole thing, just as much as you can, y’know.
(Ben): Hey, um, sorry, Jimmy. I don't really- I've been having some financial troubles lately. I wish I could help you, but I don't think I have enough to cover anything meaningful.
(Jimmy): Oh. Sorry to bother you, Ben. It's been nice seeing you.
Jimmy turned around and began sulking away.
(Crazy Ben): You can always use Debtpay...
Ben realized Crazy Ben's advice could work, and went after Jimmy.
(Ben): Hey, Jimmy? I think I might have a solution.
(Jimmy): What is it, Ben?
(Ben): Okay, don't tell anyone about this, but just come with me to my apartment. You won't have to worry about your student debt ever again. (pause) That sounds bad. Just trust me Jimmy.
(Jimmy): (confused) Alright, Ben.
Jimmy followed Ben to his apartment. Entering the apartment, Jimmy looked around in confusion. Ben locked the door behind them.
(Eggy): Bak? (Where my pizza?)
(Ben): Here you go, Eggy. Save me two slices.
Ben put the pizza on the floor. Eggy flipped it open and began munching on two slices, joined by Crazy and Muslim Ben.
(Jimmy): Is... this where you live? Is that an Angry Bird?
(Ben): Yeah, divorce, Angry Birds, it’s a long story. Anyway, how much do you need?
(Jimmy): Uh, around 350k, last time I checked.
(Ben): Okay, here it goes. (transform) Debtpay!
Ben transformed into Jetray, wearing a business suit and tie.
(Jimmy): Who... is that Jetray?
(Ben/Debtpay): No, it’s Debtpay. Completely unrelated. Probably. Cash works, right?
Jimmy gave Debtpay a confused expression, and looked around the room.
(Jimmy): You have 350 thousand dollars in cash?
(Ben/Debtpay): No, I-Just check this out. 350k comin’ right up!
Debtpay’s eyes glowed green as he unleashed a barrage of 100$ bills from his eyes, stacking them up neatly in a pile.
(Jimmy): Woah, what the hell?
(Ben/Debtpay): Yep, this alien literally prints money!
(Jimmy): Uh, wow, thanks Ben!
Jimmy looked around at his pile of cash, checking the dollar bills.
(Jimmy): Do-do you have a suitcase or something? Or a bag?
(Ben/Debtpay): Oh, yeah, sure.
Debtpay pulled out a laundry bag from his closet, as he filled up the bag with the piles of cash on the floor. Quickly finishing, he handed it out to Jimmy.
(Ben/Debtpay): Here you go, Jimmy Jones!
(Jimmy): Thank you, Ben! Thank you so much!
(Ben/Debtpay): My pleasure, jimbo.
Jimmy struggled holding the laundry bag, and instead began simply dragging it across the floor.
(Jimmy): Just a question, Ben, but, uh, how much money can this alien print, exactly?
(Ben/Debtpay): (shrugs) I don’t think he has a limit.
(Jimmy): So, um, can you use him to cover my friends’ debts as well? They’re going through the same shit as I did, and... y’know, I feel bad about being the only one who got his debts covered.
Debtpay stroked his chin in consideration.
(Muslim Ben): (mouth full) Ben, I don’t think this is a good idea.
(Eggy): Bak. (Keep your crime circles small, Ben. Every extra person doubles the chance of snitching. I learned that the hard way in the Brazilian Mafia.)
(Crazy Ben): Bro...
(Ben/Debtpay): Sure, why not. Just keep it between your friends, alright Jimmy?
(Jimmy): Of course, Ben. You can count on me.
Jimmy left the apartment, dragging behind his sack of cash.
(Ben/Debtpay): Alright, next in line!
A 20-something blue-haired woman left Debtpay, dragging behind her a laundry bag full of cash. Next in line was another 20-something man with piercings and tattoos.
(Ben/Debtpay): How much do you need, man?
(Man): Uh, 600k, something like that.
Debtpay drew out a laundry bag from his nearby stack of laundry bags, and stared down into it. Firing out dollar bills from his eyes, he filled up the bag in a few seconds.
(Ben/Debtpay): Here you go!
(Man): Thanks Debtpay, you rock!
The man dragged his laundry bag as well, and headed out of the apartment door, passing by the long line of college students going into Ben’s apartment, stretching down the stairs and into the street.
(Ben/Debtpay): Next in line!
Debtpay sat on an officer chair behind a shiny new wooden desk. He pulled out a laundry bag from his stack, as he prepared to answer the next client.
(Woman): Hi, I need 800 thousand dollars.
The woman was suddenly interrupted by a loud voice.
(Loud Voice): BEN TENNYSON!
Through the door came Argit, dressed in a suit and covered in bling, wearing gold rings on each of his fingers.
(Ben/Debtpay): Argit? Came to pay off your student debts? Or wait, did-did you even go to college?
(Argit): No, Tennyson, but I’ve been running a student loan company, and imagine my surprise when I found out my debts have been getting repaid in full in a single cash payment! I knew your stinking hands were all over this!
(Ben/Debtpay): You’ve been running a... student loan company?
(Argit): I know what you’re thinking, but it’s a very professional and respected student loan company, mind you! It’s the greatest scam of them all.
Argit angrily walked up to Debtpay’s desk, and threatened him with a bling covered finger.
(Argit): Now I don’t know what’s going on here, but I want in, you hear me? Or I call the IRS, tell them everything!
(Ben/Debtpay): No, please, don’t call the IRS! I’ll- wait, you want in?
(Argit): Yes! How much money are you making here?
(Ben/Debtpay): Uh, well, Debtpay can generate infinite amounts of money.
(Argit): Alright, I’ll be willing to settle for... a 50 percent cut.
(Ben/Debtpay): I just said his money supply is unlimited-
(Argit): You drive a hard bargain, Tennyson. 40 percent.
(Ben/Debtpay): 30 percent.
(Argit): Okay, okay, 15 percent.
Argit and Debtpay shook hands.
(Argit): Hehe, sucker.
(Ben/Debtpay): But we do this my way, you hear me? We’re helping people with this money, and using it to fix this city.
(Argit): Alright, alright. You’re the money-maker, after all.
(Ben/Debtpay): So... what do we do first?
(Argit): I’ve got a few ideas.
Debtpay and Argit walked up to a truck dealership, buying a massive truck in cash. Loading up the truck with a money beam, they set out and began driving on the road, throwing out wads of cash wherever they went.
Running into pawn shop, the two bought themselves crowns, rings, and robes, before continuing their spree.
Debtpay and Argit parked the truck on the side of the road, and saw a bank robbery in progress. Debtpay and Argit ran inside to check things out.
(Robber): Give up the money!
(Ben/Debtpay): I’ve got just the money for you!
Debtpay smiled as he looked into the sky and shot out cash, raining it all over the hostages.
(Robbers): Wow, thanks!
The robbers gave Debtpay a thumbs up and quickly collected the money and ran out to their getaway cars, as the hostages began collecting the money rain.
Debtpay and Argit went back outside to continue their Montage. Argit drove the truck as Debtpay was shooting money across the street to random people.
Parking the truck in front of an orphanage, Debtpay began shooting money into the windows, Argit looking by in glee. A police officer arrived at the truck, and pointed towards a no-park sign.
(Police Officer): This is a no-park zone!
(Ben/Debtpay): Are you sure about that, officer?
Debtpay blasted the officer with wads of hundred dollar bills. The officer smiled wide and gave Debtpay a thumbs up, before shooting Argit five times in the back.
Cut to Debtpay at a hospital with Argit in bandages, both still gleeful and in their crowns and robes. A nurse came in and handed Argit his hospital bill. Debtpay cheerfully overpaid the nurse, filling up the room with cash.
Debtpay left the hospital with a cheerful Argit in a wheelchair, shooting loads of money at unsuspecting patients along the way.
Argit in a wheelchair mounted himself on Debtpay’s back as he flew around the city, shooting more money, as the music faded away.
Ben walked up to the cashier in a grocery store, holding a loaf of bread.
(Ben): One historical allusion, please!
(Cashier): That’ll be 23,999.99.
(Ben): Comin’ right up!
Ben transformed into Debtpay and shot out a neat stack of hundred dollar bills onto the counter.
(Ben/Debtpay): Keep the change, baby!
The cashier gave Debtpay an odd look as she tried to push in the stack of dollar bills into the register. Debtpay reverted as he began chewing down on his bread and headed out onto the street, narrowly dodging a burning tire rolling into the grocery store windows.
(Ben): Close one!
Ben walked back to his apartment, barely dodging a Molotov cocktail thrown in his direction, as police sirens wailed behind him among the chaos.
Opening the door, Ben was greeted with his very angry cousin.
(Gwen): Ben, what did you do?
(Ben): Oh hey, Gwen, nice of you to come to visit.
Ben casually strolled past Gwen and went inside, seeing Argit in a gilded wheelchair.
(Argit): Ben! Where’s my historically allusive loaf of bread?
(Ben): Oh shit, Argit, I forgot. Sorry dude.
(Gwen): Don’t just ignore me, Ben! Do you know what you just did?
(Argit): What we just did.
(Ben): Yeah, me and Argit just saved the city! Look at how much money we gave away to everyone in need!
(Gwen): Exactly how much money did you give away?
(Ben): Well, uh, I used Debtpay like, a gajillion times, he prints like a billion dollars in a minute... so, a lot.
(Gwen): You two doofuses caused ridiculous hyperinflation in less than a day! Bellwood’s on fire because everyone’s money is worthless now!
(Gwen): Yes, you printed so much money actual money crashed in value! Everything’s marked up to an insane degree because you-
(Ben): (interrupting) I’m going to stop you right there, Gwen, I will never understand how money works.
(Gwen): It doesn’t matter how money works, just-(groans) Why did you three let them go through with this? I thought you were supposed to be his voices of reason!
Gwen turned to the Ben alters, who were blinged out as well. Crazy Ben was wearing a bizarre mix of drag, pimp, and business attire, while Muslim Ben had a long keffiyeh with a Nike headband, and a stylized beard as well. His tiger print shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his chest, which, like the rest of his body, had become very hairy. Eggy, wearing a pimp hat and furry coat let out a sigh as he let out a puff of smoke from his Cuban cigar.
(Eggy): Bagawk. (Riches are the most potent opiate of them all. It’ll make you do things... things you never thought you were capable of.) (sheds tear) Bagawk. (I’m sorry... meu filho...)
(Muslim Ben): Yeah, uh, Ben paid us off.
(Gwen): Seriously, Ben, do you know what you did? Muslim Kevin is at home with migraines, waiting for his Advil, which I can’t afford because it currently costs three hundred thousand fucking dollars!
(Argit): Man, I knew I should have gotten into the pharmaceutical industry.
(Gwen): It’s not the fucking pharmaceutical industry, Argit! It’s you two! You better fix this, Ben.
(Ben): Gwen, Gwen, don’t worry. Remember who you’re dealing with here. Let me just transform into Alien X and undo this whole thing.
Ben selected Alien X on his Omnitrix.
(Ben): Huh. That’s weird.
(Gwen): What’s weird, Ben?
(Ben): Uh, nothing. Here, let me fix everything, like I always do.
Ben his wrist, but nothing happened.
The Omnitrix suddenly projected a massive hologram into the air, showing an advertisement.
(Omnitrix): DORITOS BAJA BLAST NOW AVAILABLE ONLY FIFTEEN OMNICOIN
(Ben): What the hell?
(Omnitrix): HOT PYRONITE SINGLES IN YOUR AREA
(Argit): (excited) Where?
Ben pushed down on his Omnitrix again, trying to shut down the aggressive ads.
(Omnitrix): 97 PERCENT OF PLAYERS COULD NOT BEAT THIS GAME
(Ben): What the hell is going on with the Omnitrix?
(Crazy Ben): Oh, um. That might be my fault
(Omnitrix): YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THIS ONE MAGICAL CURE FOR ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
(Ben): Your fault? (sigh) What did you do?
(Crazy Ben): I needed WhatsApp stickers man to send Eggy while you were gone. We got bored. But look, I got some sick pepe stickers
Crazy Ben showed Ben his conversation with Eggy on his Omnitrix, scrolling through loads of frog stickers.
(Ben): Ugh, you infected the Omnitrix with all these ads! I can’t even transform without clicking on one of them!
(Omnitrix): FREE PUNJABI BOLLYWOOD SALMAN KHAN MOVIE 1080P DOWNLOAD
(Crazy Ben): Here, have a FeelsBadMan. (sends text)
(Ben): Thanks, I guess.
(Gwen): Alright, we should call Azmuth for help. He’ll probably know what to do.
(Ben): We don’t need to call Azmuth, I’ll figure this out myself.
Ben spontaneously transformed into REO, his Omnitrix symbol still playing holographic ads.
(Omnitrix): NEW GIGA-OREO SPRITE CHEETOS FLAVOR PACK NOW AVAILABLE
(Ben/REO): (sigh) Can you call him, Gwen?
(Gwen): Yeah, I'll call him.
Gwen picked up her phone and dialed Azmuth, while REO kepting trying to push on his Omnitrix symbol to try and turn off the ads.
Ben sat on his office chair while Azmuth was working on the Omnitrix, standing on his desk, inspecting the Omnitrix through a holographic screen.
(Azmuth): Okay, here’s your problem. All those WhatsApp sticker packs did more than install ads. They've also installed an egregious amount of OmniCoin miners, which seem to be massively slowing down your Omnitrix.
(Argit): Yeah yeah, I heard about OmniCoin. People are starting to use it as virtual currency as a replacement for real money, now that real money’s worthless.
(Ben): So what do we do now, Azmuth? I need the Omnitrix to undo this hyperinflation mess!
(Azmuth): I’m sorry Ben, but the Omnitrix is unusable in this state. It'll take a lot of time to reformat the whole thing and get it back working. Unless perhaps, you could contact the developers of the OmniCoin mining programs, and get them to manually shut them down.
(Ben): How do I find them?
(Gwen): (on her phone) Already ahead of you, Ben. OmniCoin seems to be a product of Teslapple Inc.
(Muslim Ben): Didn’t Jimmy say he’s interning at Teslapple? We could use him to shut them off.
(Gwen): We could, except it’s run by Jeve Stobs and Melon Usk. I vaguely remember Jeve Stobs as a former recurring enemy of ours in the alternate timeline. I doubt Melon Usk is on our side either.
(Crazy Ben): Yeah, we fought him a few times. Now he’s just a reminder of how dated 2011 pop culture references are. As all pop culture references will end up being...
(Ben): What am I going to do, then? I can't just walk into the offices of a villain without an Omnitrix!
(Azmuth): Don't worry Tennyson, I've got you covered.
Azmuth pulled out of his toolbox an Omnitrix similar to the one from the Ben 10 reboot, seemingly made out of plastic.
(Azmuth): Here, I got you an Omnitrix Kids. Or OmniKids, for short.
(Ben): A what?
(Azmuth): It's a new type of product we're selling, it's an Omnitrix made specifically for children. You know, it has the YouTube filtered, profanity filter, blood and gore filter, everything safe for the kiddies. It requires Omniibos to transform, though. I got you some of your favorites as freebies.
Azmuth poured out a few small plastic figurines out of his toolbox on the desk, which resembled Ben's reboot aliens. Ben took the Heatblast one and inspected it.
(Ben): What the hell is an Omniibo?
(Azmuth): You haven't heard of Omniibos either? They’re these little 60$ plastic figures you put on the Omnitrix so you can transform. Right now we're working on getting the rights to all the kids' favorite characters, like Mario and Zelda and whatever. Licensed Omniibos are where the real money is going to come from, kids gobble up that shit.
Ben looked through the figures as he put them in his pouch, noticing one which resembled an African-American rapper.
(Ben): What's this Omniibo supposed to be?
(Azmuth): You know Travis Scott, the Fortnite rapper? That's the official Travis Scott Omniibo prototype! We made it so you could experience a Travis Scott concert in first person, it’s going to be, as the kids say, “lit”! Now that’ll be our real moneymaker, I tell you!
Ben took off his Omnitrix and replaced it with an OmniKids. The Omnitrixes on the Ben alters arms were suddenly replaced by OmniKids as well.
(Argit): You’re really giving Ben this hunk of worthless Chinese plastic?
(Azmuth): Excuse me, Argit, but the Omnitrix Kids is a quality budget option for many families around the world.
(Argit): We call it the OmniDiks on the street, man. It’s garbage.
(Ben): Alright, stop with the fighting, you two. Let’s just get this over with. Gwen, you got the address, right?
Ben pulled out a few figurines from his pouch.
(Ben): Let’s try out... XLR8!
Ben slammed the XLR8 figurine down on the OmniKids plate.
(Ben): Why... isn’t it working?
(Azmuth): You need to charge it, Tennyson.
Ben clicked his tongue and groaned. Taking off his OmniKids, he connected it to the USB charger next to his bed.
(Ben): Um, Gwen, can you teleport with us there?
Gwen’s eyes glowed pink as she teleported the Bens, Argit and Eggy to the Teslapple headquarters.
The six reappeared in a pristine high-tech office, with dozens of programmer desks around them.
(Argit): Woah, nice!
Ben approached Jimmy, who was programming at his desk.
(Ben): Hey, Jimmy.
(Jimmy): Hey Ben, hey Gwen, didn’t notice you coming in.
(Ben): Can you point me to Jeve’s office?
(Jimmy): Oh, he’s right over there.
Jimmy pointed to Jeve’s office.
(Gwen): Hey, Jimmy, why are you still working here? Isn’t your salary worthless now?
(Jimmy): Haha, this job isn’t for the salary, this is for “work experience”. I’m suffering
The group walked into the CEO’s office, seeing inside a Galvanic Mechamorph in a turtleneck sweater, jeans, and a single glass over his eye. Beside him sat a professionally dressed Mechamorph .
(Jeve): Ah, Ben Tennyson, we meet again. This is my business partner, Melon Usk.
(Crazy Ben): Hi Jeve!
(Jeve): So, tell me, what brings you to our humble office?
(Ben): I’m going to keep it short. Shut off OmniCoin miners you planted in my Omnitrix, Jeve.
(Jeve): I’m sorry Ben, but OmniCoin is generating us the most revenue we’ve had in years. We, the American people, need the OmniCoin now more than ever. We need a stable currency, a home-grown organic currency harvested from nothing less than the galaxy’s symbol of peace itself, the Omnitrix, one of the strongest supercomputers in the universe, right here in the US of A. The OmniCoin is a cryptocurrency you can safely invest your future in. By Teslapple.
(Melon Usk): Yeah.
(Gwen): Quit it with the ad-speak, Jeve, we need the Omnitrix to undo this hyperinflation mess we’re in.
(Jeve): But Gwendolyn, without the OmniCoin revenue, we won’t have enough to pay our workforce. Do you really want thousands of hard-working programmers to be jobless, especially in this economy?
(Melon): That wouldn’t be good.
(Jeve): I would suggest looking for alternatives to the Omnitrix, Ben. I’ve heard good things about Google’s Chromenitrix. Or, perhaps, the Omnitrix Kids might be more fitting to your... budget.
(Ben): Listen, man, if I get the Omnitrix back working, I can fix the inflation in minutes, alright? Your stocks, revenue, everything will go back to normal, I just need the Omnitrix back.
(Jeve): (stroking chin) Hmm. We could work out a deal. I might be willing to shut off your OmniCoin miners... if you find us a stronger supercomputer to put our mining programs on.
(Gwen): Ben, are you sure-
Ben and Jeve shook hands. Jeve pulled out a USB from his pocket, and handed it over to Ben.
(Jeve): Here, just plug this USB in, and bring it to my office when its ready. I’ll be waiting. Usk, escort them out, please.
Melon escorted the six out of Jeve’s office, and into the Teslapple lobby.
(Melon): Good luck.
Gwen teleported them all back to the apartment.
(Gwen): Ben, where are we going to find another supercomputer to replace the Omnitrix?
(Ben): Relax, Gwen. We know a lot of supercomputers. Like, the, um... uh... I’m sure there were a few...
(Muslim Ben): How about Malware?
(Ben): See? We do know a supercomputer... guy... being.
(Gwen): Isn’t he in prison?
(Ben): We’ll just have to bust him out.
(Gwen): (sigh) I don’t have time for this. I’m going to buy Muslim Kevin his Advil from Canada. You better fix this before I come back, Ben.
Gwen teleported away in a flash of pink light.
(Argit): You know, I think I’m gonna, uh, sit this one out as well. My, uh, ruptured spleen did not respond well to that teleportation.
Ben looked at his alters.
(Ben): You up for this?
(Crazy Ben): Sure lol
Ben unplugged the Omnitrix Kids from the socket, and put it on his arm.
(Ben): Alright, let’s roll out.
Ben popped up the face of the Omnitrix, which displayed the current battery percentage.
(Ben): Let’s try XLR8 again, shall we- Just 17 percent? (groan) Guess we’ll just roll out later.
(Plumbers Guard): Hey, Ben Tennyson! Why up so late?
(Ben): Just here for some interrogation, you know.
(Plumbers Guard): That’s nice. All my pension is worthless now! No early retirement for me, I’m going to have to work until I die!
(Ben): That’s... uh, not good.
The Bens walked down the Plumbers prison hallways, and went up to a certain cell, where they saw Malware standing idly. Ben tapped on the glass door.
(Ben): (whispering) We’re busting you out.
(Ben): We’ll explain later. Trust us.
(Malware): I find it hard to trust you, Tennyson. But I would like to escape this retched prison.
(Ben): Here we go.
Ben took out a Shock Rock figurine from his pouch and tried silently placing it on the OmniKids.
(Ben): Why isn’t it-
(Muslim Ben): You’re pressing on the wrong button, Ben-
The OmniKids suddenly popped up and began playing a repeating soundbite.
(OmniKids): AYAYAY I’m your little butterfly AYAYAY I’m your little butterfly AYAYAY I’m your little butterfly AYAYAY I’m your little butterfly AYAYAY I’m your little butterfly AYAYAY I’m your little butterfly
Ben panicked trying to shut off the soundbite, hearing a few prisoners waking up.
(Ben): No, no!
(Malware): What is this?
(Muslim Ben): Here, Ben, let me try.
(Ben): Take it, take it, just shut it off!
(Muslim Ben): Inshallah.
Muslim Ben took the Omniibo from Ben’s hand, and slammed it on his OmniKids, transforming into Shock Rock. With a blast of electricity, he shut off Ben’s OmniKids. The Bens looked around to see no guards.
(Ben): Phew, thanks. Now, electrify that socket so the gl*** door opens. The gl*** door. The gl***-this f***ing profanity filter, man.
Shock Rock shot electricity into a hole in the wall, opening up the glass barrier for Malware to escape.
(Muslim Ben/Shock Rock): Here you go.
(Malware): My thanks.
(Ben): C’mon, get into my OmniKids. I’ll carry you outside.
Malware jumped into the OmniKids, taking over it. Shock Rock shocked the barrier back up, and the Bens casually strutted outside of the cell area.
(Malware): Wha- what am I possessing here?
(Ben): Yeah, it’s a piece of s***-piece of sheet, sorry.
(Malware): I found at least 30 tracker applications that are selling your information to the Chinese government, are you aware of them?
(Ben): Yeah, yeah, we’ll fight them some other time.
The Bens exited the holding cells, and walked into a janitor’s closet.
(Ben): You can come out now, Malware.
Malware popped out of the OmniKids, into the janitor’s closet.
(Malware): What did you need me for?
(Ben): Sorry, Malware.
Ben stabbed Malware with the USB, infecting him with the OmniCoin miners.
(Malware): No, no, nooooo͞҉̧o̸͡ờ̵o̴̶̕͟o͘͘͡-
Malware began shrinking and reforming, turning into a glass-cased gaming PC with bright red LED lights all over it. Ben picked up the PC as he noticed the janitor looking at them.
(Janitor): (sigh) I don’t get paid enough to care.
(Ben): Thanks, I think.
The Bens casually walked out of Plumbers HQ with Malware in hand.
Gwen teleported the six into Jeve’s office. Ben was holding the Malware PC in arms.
(Ben): Here’s your supercomputer, Jeve. Got the OmniCoin miners, everything installed.
Jeve picked up the Malware PC and looked at it, before turning his finger into a USB drive and plugging it in. Melon came next to Jeve and began looking at it as well.
(Jeve): Ah, magnificent. He also runs on Linux! Thank you, Tennyson.
(Melon): This is cool.
(Ben): So can you shut off the OmniCoin miners now?
(Jeve): Mmm... think I’m going to pass.
(Jeve): But truly, thank you, Tennyson. With this second supercomputer we can generate even more OmniCoin, and double our profits!
(Eggy): Bak! (Filho-da-puta!)
(Gwen): (eyes flaring pink) Jeve, you don’t want to do this.
(Jeve): Hmm. Aggressive marketing, I see. Usk, shall we prepare for our merger?
Jeve and Melon dropped into goo and began swirling around each other, almost erotically, before fusing into a four-arms Mechamorph that doubled in size.
(Jevelon): We have merged! It is I, Jevelon Stusks!
(Argit): What the hell?
Gwen transformed into her Anodyte form and began firing off magic orbs at Jevelon, who was countering them with laser beams, while Eggy began jumping around and firing eggs. Argit tried to roll away on his wheelchair, and ducked behind one of the desks.
Ben pulled out three Omniibos from his pouch, and tossed them to Crazy and Muslim Ben, who transformed into Four Arms and Heatblast respectively. Keeping the Humungousaur one for himself, he tried slamming it on his OmniKids repeatedly, which seemed not to work.
(Ben): F***, uh, fudge, why isn’t this working?
(Muslim Ben/Heatblast): Ben, you’re breaking it, you just need to slam it on once-
Ben continued slamming the Omniibo on his OmniKids, before it finally transformed him into Humungousaur, albeit with two Omnitrix symbols.
(Ben/Humungouhumungousaursaur): HUMUNGOUHUMUNGOUSAURSAUR! Wait, what the f***? Did I glitch it that bad?
Gwen was hit by an electric beam, and fell to the ground, returning to human form, while Eggy was thrown back into a wall.
(Ben/Humungouhumungousaursaur): You’re f***ing done, sc**bag!
Humungouhumungousaursaur threw a table at Jevelon, who dodged.
(Jevelon): Very nonprofessional of you.
Jevelon shot out four Mechamorph lines from his chests, hitting the Bens’ OmniKids symbols and reverting them.
(Jevelon): Thanks for the OmniKids data, I will make sure to a**imilate it to good use!
Jevelon revealed a replicated OmniKids in his chest, which glowed as it transformed his fists into a Pyronite fist, a Tetramand fist, and two Vaxasaurian fists. Pointing his Pyronite fist at Crazy Ben, he fired a fireball, which Crazy Ben dodged.
(Crazy Ben): Son of a beach!
Ben panicked as he searched his pouch for an Omniibo to use.
(Ben): Sheet, sheet, who do I use now?
Ben suddenly stopped searching for an Omniibo as his expression hardened.
(Jevelon): Ah, I could acc**mulate quite nicely to this form! This censor is a bit frustrating though...
Charging at Jevelon Stusks, he pulled out a small plastic figurine from his pouch.
(Ben): When you get to heck, say Cactus Jack sent you!
Ben slammed the Travis Scott Omniibo on Jevelon Stusks' chest OmniKids.
The OmniKids began playing a compressed soundbite.
Goin’ on you with the pick and roll!
Young La Flame, he’s in Sicko Mode!
Trap beats began emanating from the Omnitrix Kids, transforming Jevelon Stusks in an elaborate and colorful sequence, before dropping him down as Travis Scott with an Omnitrix symbol on his chest.
(Jevelon/Travis Scott): What the f*** is this?
The OmniKids continued to play the beat to Sicko Mode in the background.
(Ben): Eggy, now!
Eggy backflipped into the air and shot out an explosive egg, hitting Travis Scott straight in the chest. The blast's shockwave sent him backwards through the window, shattering it as he flew out of the building’s 44th floor.
(Jevelon/Travis Scott): MOTHERF***ER!
A splat was heard as Travis Scott hit the ground. The Bens rushed to the edge of the broken window.
(Ben): Are they- dead?
The Bens looked down to see a pixelated red stain on the ground, blocked by the OmniKids’ blood and gore filter. From below they could faintly hear the beat to Sicko Mode still playing.
(Muslim Ben): That’s a whole lotta red.
(Eggy): Bagawk. (Burn in hell, bastardo.)
(Crazy Ben): Oh, nope, look, they’ve reverted, they’re like small Upgrade blobs now lole. Now we’re both absolved of guilt and capable of reusing these villains in the future!
(Ben): Looks like we used capitalism to defeat the capitalists. I guess it’s true what they say, the free market does regulate itself.
Ben turned to Gwen, and helped her get up from the floor. Crazy Ben picked up the Malware PC from Jeve’s desk.
(Gwen): Thanks, Ben. Let’s undo this mess.
The six exited the office, and went up to Jimmy, who sat among the programmers oblivious to the fight.
(Ben): Jimmy, can you shut down the OmniCoin miners in my Omnitrix now?
(Jimmy): Gee, I’d have to ask permission from Mr. Stobs-
(Ben): He’s f***ing dead Jimmy, just shut them down.
(Jimmy): Okay, shutting them off...
Jimmy turned to his desk, and began typing in lines of code.
Ben re-equipped his Omnitrix, and began cycling through his alien forms.
(Ben): No ads! Thank you Jimmy!
Ben selected Hat Alien X’s hologram and raised his hand, before pausing.
(Ben): What if... I don’t change back everything to the way it was?
(Ben): What if... OmniCoin is the solution? You saw how the free market regulated itself today. What if the moral of today was that we need less regulations, rather than more? What if... anarcho-capitalism is the only way out?
(Gwen): Ben, that is definitely not what we learned today, just look at your OmniKids, look at Jimmy’s college debt-
(Muslim Ben): (interrupting) Guys, Argit just stole the Malware PC!
The Bens looked at Crazy Ben, who was holding nothing. Turning their eyes to the door, they could see Argit left golden tracks on the floor on his way out.
(Crazy Ben): Oh, Argit got us good again, didn’t he? (chuckles)
(Ben): (laughs) Classic Argit!
A laugh track played, as the Bens playfully ran after the gilded wheelchair tracks. The audience cheered as the episode faded to black, the credits playing along with an ending theme.
- The Bens
- Jimmy Jones
- Plumbers Security Guard
- Plumbers Janitor
- Steam Smythe
- Jeve Stobs/Jevelon Stusks
- Melon Usk/Jevelon Stusks
- Malware/Malware PC
By Crazy Ben
By Muslim Ben
- Shock Rock
By Jevelon Stusks
- Travis Scott (debut)