My will to live is as nonexistent as scientists in Australia.
I've been working a bit on shading and texturing recently, which should be obvious in this week's Art Corner. I'm stuck in this weird place of being proud of my progress yet hating everything I make. Oh well.
Been (kinda) working on a non-Ben 10-related project called "Reform" for a bit. God knows if it'll ever come out though.
Made a couple of Vlogs if you're interested in that. I edited down a lot of footage to keep things at least mildly interesting.
O living always--always dying! O the burials of me, past and present! O me, while I stride ahead, material, visible, imperious as ever! O me, what I was for years, now dead, (I lament not--I am content;) O to disengage myself from those corpses of me, which I turn and look at, where I cast them! To pass on, (O living! always living!) and leave the corpses behind!
–O Living Always--Always Dying, Walt Whitman
On the one hand I like cryptic bullshit but on the other hand it feels pretentious.
An ascendant is the Zodiac sign rising on the east horizon at the time of a specific event, so I figured it would make a good motif for the final form of the leader of the Zodiac Organization.
On another note, I don't think this is going to be noticed unless I point it out because who the hell remembers these details is that Ascendant Orion's mask is a cracked-open version of his regular mask.
Same goes for his armor.
Ben 10 News
OK KO is going to be having a crossover event this fall called "Crossover Nexus" featuring Ben from Ben 10 (2016), Raven from Teen Titans Go! and Garnet from Steven Universe. OK KO is no stranger to odd crossovers, having already had an episode featuring Captain Planet of all things, but a large multi-show crossover like this is a first for the network in general (discounting bumpers and comics).
We also got some images for future designs leaked, including a new Omnitrix, the Shock Rock villain and Glitch Ben we first saw at New York Toy Fair, and a couple of Forever Knights, confirming their presence in the reboot.
The greatest evidence for God being dead is the fact that I'm still alive.
I got my blood test results back recently, and not only do I not have any thyroid issues, my thyroid is practically at the center of its normal functioning range. Back to square one with the depression, I guess.
On a more positive note, all of my vitals are good save for my having a slightly higher triglyceride level than what is considered optimal. My body is doing pretty well despite my consistent depression-induced sabotage of its basic upkeep, so...yay for me, I guess?
Nothing of note.
Spraypainting and brush painting both have their own pros and cons, such as spraypainting being much more likely to give you some form of horrific lung cancer, but spraypainting is much easier to do and is overall 10x more enjoyable don't @ me.
I think most people have lost interest in this newsletter, but I don't want to cut it off at a random point. I've decided that Issue 100 of the CaT Gazette will be the final one, save for special occasions. I might extend it beyond that if people are interested, but I really doubt they are.
My family is going to Kauai this next week (they're actually leaving tomorrow but details) and I'm staying behind. I'm not in a good enough place mentally to deal with traveling right now, and staying here means I'll be able to receive my blood test results as soon as they arrive in the mail.
Speaking of which, I should probably explain that. Both my therapist and my psychiatrist suggested I get tested for hypothyroidism, which is a condition that can cause or worsen depression, among other things. Hypothyroidism occurs when your thyroid doesn't produce enough hormones for whatever reason. Since those hormones are in charge of running the body's metabolism, having a lack of them slows down your body's processes and essentially leaves you running on low power 24/7.
Assuming I do have hypothyroidism, getting it treated could improve my mood, make me less fatigued all the time, and actually allow me to produce adequate amounts of body heat (I feel like a walking freezer half the time). If I don't, we're back to square one.
Also no more Writing Resources they're just wasting everyone's time reeeeeeeeee
Nothing of note.
I'm just sick of everything idk what you want me to say here.
By the time I post this, it'll be the day of my eighth anniversary on this wiki.
My creative life has more or less revolved around this wiki for the past eight years.
Well, at least this gives me a valid reason to kill myself.
Expect a blog sometime today.
Nothing of note.
The Gazette has more or less been my personal emotional dumping ground for a while now, and I have to imagine most of you are getting sick of it. The sad part is everything I've dumped out is barely scratching the surface of the grand iceberg of disappointment that is my non-existent mental health.