Evan Billion
Season 2, Episode 5
Life of a Junklean
Air date N/A
Written by Agent H
Directed by Agent H
Episode Guide
Finding F.I.N.D.
Paper Lose Weight/The Amazing Unstoppable Rocket

Life of a Junklean is the 5th season 2 episode of Evan Billion, and it is paired with Baked Wings. It is the sequel to Lost Gets Lost.


A half-Osmosian, half Junklean was running through a forest. A half-human, half Junklean was chasing him.

(Half-Human/Half-Junklean): Come back!

(Half-Osmosian/Half-Junklean): No!

The half-Osmosian half-Junklean absorbed the ground, then shot needles at the other one. The other one shot soap at the needles, and the soap went on the half-Osmosian half-Junklean and got him stuck. The half-Osmosian half-Junklean sent some waves in the sky, then the half-human half-Junklean jumped on him and turned to normal.

On Junkleanyu.....

The signal went to Junkleanyu, but did not go to anyone. The screen zooms in on Junkleanyu, on a house that looks like a large box covered in junk. Inside the house, a junk Junklean is watching TV.

(Clean Junklean): Stop watching TV and take out the trash, Dirt.

(Dirt): Take out? The only thing I'm taking out is takeout! The food at LickDonalds was horrible! You can't tell me what to do, Wash.

A crash was heard outside the house, and Dirt and Wash combined to become Dirtwash, then ran out. A large ship-bot was shaking up Junkleanyu. Dirtwash lifted the ship-bot in the air with telekinesis, but the ship-bot started sucking him up.

(Dirt): Take Wash instead!

Dirt held up Wash, and he got sucked in and died. Dirt repelled the ship-bot from him.

(Dirt): Well, Wash is gone. Now I can take the box away from the house!

Dirt slid up under the junk of the house and took the box away. He repelled it from himself, and all the junk became a pile of junk. Dirt went inside. All the stuff was scrunched up.

(Dirt): Scrunched up? I like scrunch! It's my favorite meal! I'll have some now.

Dirt put some junk in between two pieces of bread and ate it.

(Dirt): I will buy some foiled cans.

Dirt went to a junk store, and got a cart. He filled it up with crushed cans, then rolled it outside. The detectors detected it, and made a loud noise.

(Dirt): I won the lottery? More cans for me!

Dirt stacked up more cans on the cart, and they fell all over the store.


(Store Owner): You forgot a can!

The store owner threw a giant can at Dirt, and Dirt ran out of the store.

(Dirt): I need to get a job.

A robotic limo drove up to him, and a Mysterian stepped out.

(Mysterian): How would you like to be a secret agent?

(Dirt): I like secret agents!

(Mysterian): Then get on!

The Mysterian shot a grappling gun at a high cliff on the other side, and Dirt grabbed the gun.


Dirt fell down the cliff, and saw a large purple monster.

(Monster): Are you Sparta?


Dirt put on a Roman costume.

(Monster): I thought this was Sparta.

The monster put on a popcorn pizza costume.

(Dirt): No, this is.

Dirt put on a chicken eyepatch, donut clothing, and a platypus sword.

(Monster): I'm pretty sure this is.

The purple monster turned into a tiny hammer with green arms for eyes.

(Dirt): That reminds me! I need to go to the Junky Contest!

Dirt stuck himself to the cliff, and climbed up. He went to a contest where junk Junkleans were sitting. A female junk Junklean came from a tarp and had on makeup that made her cheeks, forehead, and chin huge. It covered up most of her face.

(Judge 1): I really think her bam-bam-bam goes into her mab-mab-mab.

(Judge 2): Me too.

(Judge 3): Doo doo doo doo doo doo!

Another female junk Junklean came out. She was wearing a large suit, and she tripped over it.

(Judge 1): I really think her suitness fades into her body.

(Judge 2): Me too.

(Judge 3): Doo doo doo doo doo doo!

One last female junk Junklean came out. Her face and legs were small.

(Judge 1): I really think her growth goes into her most sense of style: me.

(Judge 2): Me too.

(Judge 3): Doo doo doo doo doo!

(Head): And the winner one! Tisk tisk!

All of the junk Junkleans bent down.

(All Junk Junkleans): And bam bam bam!

Anvils fell on all of them except Dirt.

(Head): Dirt, an anvil did not fall on you! You are now banned from the Junky Contest!

All of the junk Junkleans chased him. They all got in a carriage, and chased him all around. They chased him down a mountain.


Junk arrived on Nonothingia. It looked like a large colessuem, and a lot of pillars with fragments taken off of them were there.

(Junk): Well, I guess this is the place to be.

(Dumbdude): Where is?

(Junk): I don't know.


Ray was working on a computer during a storm. Then, he pressed a play button. There was a video of him zapping Caecus with a laser gun. His doorbell rang, so he got up and opened the door.

(Citrakayah): Here's your 3D remote.

The Citrakayah handed Ray a package, then closed the door. Ray opened the package, and there was a remote. Ray turned on a TV, then pressed a button on the 3D remote, and characters started coming off the screen. Then, everything went away and the TV became those black, white, and gray lines. Ray grumbled, then walked outside and adjusted the satellite. Some lightning hit the remote.

Ray walked back in, and turned on the TV. Things were coming out of it again. A baseball bat came out of it, and hit Ray. Ray looked at the remote, then put his finger on his chin. He pointed the remote at the video of him eating Caecus and pressed a button. Ray and Caecus came out of the computer 3-dimensional, and 3D-Ray zapped Caecus with a laser gun. Ray smiled.

There was a cheeseburger on the road. Caecus ran to it and ate it. Ray and 3D-Ray both held clubs, and swung them at Caecus. Caecus ran away, and they hit each other on the head. Bumps came out of their heads, then they both ran after Caecus. Caecus ran over a bridge and turned brown. The bridge turned invisible. Ray and 3D-Ray slowed down when they didn't see a bridge. Ray picked up 3D-Ray and got ready to throw him. When he did, he accidentally threw him at his legs, and they both fell down.

Ray created another video of him, then pressed the button on the remote, and another 3D-Ray came. Later, Caecus was running on the road. Ray was holding the two 3D-Rays, then he dropped them. The 3D-Rays both held one end of a net, which they spread out. Caecus ran at the net, and pulled it with him. While he ran, and 3D-Rays got slammed into each other. Eventually, they fell down, and the net flew off Caecus.

Ray animated another 3D-Ray. Later, two 3D-Rays were holding a huge space heater on a cliff, which brought heat to the ground. Caecus was running, and he stopped at a water fountain. He pressed the button, but the fountain opened. Ray and a 3D-Ray jumped out and grabbed Caecus. He looked up and saw the space heater. He turned red, and the space heater turned invisible. The 3D-Rays thought that the space heater disappeared, so they walked away. The space heater started falling, then Caecus turned invisible. Ray and 3D-Ray thought that Caecus disappeared, so they let go. Caecus walked away, and the space heater fell on the Rays. The part of the cliff the other two 3D-Rays were on fell, and they got hurt.

Ray was animating lots of 3D-Rays with his remote, then he smiled. His doorbell rang, so he got the door.

(Citrakayah): Here are your 60 rocket packs.

Ray pulled in several wagons of rocket packs, then gave one to each 3D-Ray. Later, a cheeseburger was on the road. Caecus ran to it, then all of the 3D-Rays ran to him with rocket packs. Caecus ate the burger, then ran on a train track while a train was coming. The 3D-Rays outran the train. Caecus ran up a steep cliff. The 3D-Rays soared up the cliff. Caecus ran on a bumpy road. The 3D-Rays jumped over the bumps. Caecus started frowning, then he saw a cactus field. Caecus ran to the beginning of the cactus field and waited for the 3D-Rays. Once they got there, Caecus ran out of the way, and all of the 3D-Rays ran into the cactus field and popped. Later, Ray was animating another 3D-Ray, but Caecus pulled the plug on the computer, and Ray animated blackness. The blackness covered the 3D remote, and made it disappear. Then, it covered Ray.


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