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Total Drama Billion
Season 1, Episode 1
Air date N/A
Written by AB
Directed by AB
Episode Guide
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It Begins is the first episode of Total Drama Billion.

Plot

Lurnit was standing on top of a tree in the main region.

(Lurnit): In a moment, 30 competitors are about to arrive and they will compete for a billion bucks. They will be split into 5 teams of 6, and will be competing in several different challenges, using their powers to win. They are the final additional aliens (except me, your awesome host), the future aliens, and the original aliens, except Edibility, the chef.

Edibility walked next to Lurnit.

(Lurnit): How were you able to get up here?

(Edibility): I used the Giant Spring of Elimination. It took me 30 tries to actually get here.

(Lurnit): Edibility, there's a ladder on the other side of the tree.

Edibility shot caramel in Lurnit's face.

(Lurnit): Anyways, the losing team will head to Tidalwave's house to cast votes. That's also where they go to say private things. Except sometimes, it isn't private. It's called Total DRAMA Billion for a reason. Anyways, after they leave Tidalwave's house, they sit around here, the Tree of Sitting. If they aren't eliminated, I will give them a cookie made with sweat. Whoever recieves no cookie leaves the competition for good.

(Edibility): I see them!

(Lurnit): I'm supposed to say that!

Lurnit time traveled to when he was explaining the contest, then killed his past self.

(Edibility): If you kill your past self, wouldn't you be dead too?

(Lurnit): Not me, because I'm awesome. Anyways, they're here!

A long helicarrier flew above the tree.

(Lurnit): Copy-Copy, Combinationer, Useless, Lightmeraction, Humanimate, Feet Balled, Emotion, Upside Up, NME, Clawnormous, Sportacus, Battlesuit, Bomblow, Flat, Absorbo, Sound Sample, Crablaster, Glider, Stunner, Manymachine, Linaport, Add-and-Blast, Ironic, Skyder, Psychon, Puffish, Fairy Tail, Clameleo, Dogface. They're all here! Let's get this party started!

Theme song!

Copy-Copy was in the house.

(Copy-Copy): Okay, I was the first alien turned into, so I will be the last alien in the contest.

Stunner was in the house.

(Stunner): I overheard Copy-Copy waiting to say something, and I have to say: I was the last alien turned into, so I will be the last in the contest. It is luck. Anyways, I am awesome.

Outside, Sound Sample flew down to Glider.

(Sound Sample): You have any idea what the first challenge will be?

(Glider): Something simple. Like a hot dog eating contest or the first to climb up a ladder or something.

Feet Balled flew to Sound Sample and Glider.

(Feet Balled): What are you guys talking about?

(Glider): We're saying what we think the first challenge will be.

(Feet Balled): I hope it's being a football. Then I would win and everyone would beg me for my invulnerability.

(Sound Sample): That's never gonna happen. Feet Balled, let's have a flying contest!

(Glider): I can join by jumping high and blasting.

Feet Balled and Sound Sample flew into the air. Glider jumped high and blasted the ground, sending him up. They crashed into Fairy Tail using a tail propellor, and they all fell down in front of Lurnit.

(Lurnit): Save your powers for the challenge.

Z-Bunch was looking at the aliens. Later, he was in the house.

(Z-Bunch): Zone zof zese zaliens zetter zet zin zy zay. Zo zatter zat, zi'm zinning zhe zillion zollars.

Bomblow was firing different kinds of bombs at hoops that Stunner was making. Later, he was in the house.

(Bomblow): I've gotta be at the top of my game if I want to win the money. I only have two powers, but I can have a thousand if I use them right and train. Make way for Bomblow!

Bomblow used frozen bombs to freeze a path to Lurnit. He slid on it.

(Bomblow): I am Bomblow the Many-Power Man!

(Puffish): You only have two.

(Bomblow): Say that to my ice path.

Z-Bunch was watching. Later, he was in the house.

(Z-Bunch): Zi zobably zan't zin zith zall zof zese zowers zeing zused. Zi'll zust zave zo zake zadvantage zof zy zowers. Zoon, zi'll ze zeat.

Z-Bunch snuck to Bomblow's suitcases. He sliced them, flew into them, and shot Z's so that Bomblow couldn't open them. Then, he flew out.

(Z-Bunch): Zy zot zall zhe zases?

Z-Bunch flew into the suitcases of aliens, and shot Z's so they couldn't open them.

(Lurnit): ALL PLAYERS, REPORT HERE FOR YOUR FIRST COMPETITION.

All of the players went to Lurnit.

(Battlesuit): We haven't even gotten our teams yet.

(Lurnit): Here they are: Sound Sample, Manymachine, Psychon, Fairy Tail, Dogface, Battlesuit.

They got together.

(Psychon): I like waffles.

(Manymachine): .......

(Psychon): I SAID I LIKE WAFFLES

(Manymachine): OKAY OKAY

(Lurnit): Useless, Copy-Copy, Feet Balled, Add-and-Blast, Bomblow, Puffish.

They got together.

(Useless): Wanna hear a joke?

(Puffish): Sure.

(Useless): What did the elephant say when the mouse told him to listen?

(Puffish): What?

(Useless): I'm all ears!

(Puffish): Hahaha.

(Lurnit): Z-Bunch, Clawnormous, Sportacus, Humanimate, Ironic, Clameleo.

They got together.

(Z-Bunch): Zisten, zou zuys. Zi zommand zall zof zou.

(Humanimate): I'm fine with that.

(Lurnit): Crablaster, Linaport, Flat, Glider, Lightmeraction, Combinationer.

They got together.

(Combinationer): We have a large range of powers. We can win.

Later, Linaport was in the house.

(Linaport): I might scheme once or twice. Or maybe three, four, or five times. I'M WINNING. Maybe six times.

(Lurnit): And lastly, NME, Stunner, Upside Up, Absorbo, Emotion, and Skyder.

They got together. Later, NME was in the house. He turned his hand into a sword and carved a picture of himself winning the billion dollars.

(Stunner): You guys are weird. A mixed-up human, a black eating ball, an alien with an emotion problem, and a flying spider.

(Absorbo): Says the donut with the tail.

(Stunner): A tail that stuns things.

NME was in the house again.

(NME): ...

Commercial break.

(Lurnit): The first challenge is to stay on a spinning platform as long as you can. But, it will just be used to pick team names.

Lurnit pointed to a large yellow platform with a tall rod in the middle. All of the contestants got on it, but Clawnormous wouldn't fit.

(Lurnit): Off.

Clawnormous whined and got off. Lurnit pressed a button and the platform started spinning kinda fast.

(Skyder): This is easy. NME, Stunner, Upside Up, Absorbo, Emotion, grab onto my web.

Skyder spat a web on the rod and all of his teammates grabbed onto it. Skyder used his powers to stick to the platform. Puffish inflated.

(Puffish): Get in!

His teammates, except Feet Balled, went in. Battlesuit also went in.

(Puffish): Battlesuit, out right now!

(Battlesuit): No!

(Bomblow): Come on guys! Let's get him!

Bomblow threw bombs at Battlesuit, but he flew away from them. Add-and-Blast attached a bomb to himself and shot explosions. Battlesuit flew around him.

(Useless): Anyone want to hear another joke?

(Copy-Copy): This is not the time!

(Useless): What did the oyster say to the lobster?

Add-and-Blast shot more explosions. Battlesuit attracted some of his blocks and used them as an arm shield. The explosions reflected.

(Puffish): Hey! Calm down in there!

Outside, Clameleo was falling off.

(Clameleo): I'm slipping! Help!

Ironic and Sportacus grabbed onto Clameleo, but they all slid off. Linaport made a lot of lines and teleported around. Absorbo flew backwards with the web and tried to kick Linaport. Linaport shot a beam from his staff at the web and all of the holders flew off.

(Stunner): Get Linaport, Skyder!

Skyder shot webs at Linaport, but he teleported around. Skyder flew fast to Linaport and tried to bite him, but Linaport blasted him back. Inside Puffish, Battlesuit launched blocks at Bomblow. He bounced around, out of Puffish's mouth, and off the spinner.

(Useless): The answer to my joke was "We're all clamily!"

Battlesuit threw Useless out of Puffish and off the spinner. Copy-Copy stretched and slapped Battlesuit a lot. Battlesuit grabbed his arm and threw him off the spinner. Add-and-Blast rolled out of Puffish, then squeezed his cheeks and fired Battlesuit out and into Linaport, knocking them both off the spinner. Puffish accidentally fell back and knocked Add-and-Blast off the spinner.

(Lurnit): Time to kick it up a notch!

Lurnit pressed a button, making the spinner go faster. Humanimate started to fall off, but he flew back on. Feet Balled flew at Sound Sample and knocked him off, but he made a clone that stayed on. Feet Balled flew at the clone and knocked him off, but the clone grabbed Feet Balled and they both came off. Manymachine and Lightmeraction shot electricity at each other. Puffish shot water at them and they got electrocuted. They fell off. Electricity came through the water and shocked Puffish, popping him and sending him flying off.

(Lurnit): One team is completely off the spinner!

Z-Bunch flew to Humanimate.

(Z-Bunch): Ze zetter zin zis zallenge!

Z-Bunch flew to Fairy Tail's tails and made them spin, sending him flying off the spinner. Dogface's third head blew wind at Z-Bunch and started blowing him off. Z-Bunch flew around in the wind and turned into a tornado. Z-Bunch flew into Dogface's third mouth and spun his whole body around. Z-Bunch flew out normal, and Dogface spun off the spinner.

(Z-Bunch): Zat's zat zi'm zalking zabout.

Psychon made a barrier around that.

(Psychon): Qui wetting ein rat, T-Bunch!

(Humanimate): Why would anyone want to quite wet a rat?

(Psychon): Waffle cakes are for my rakes when no one else will want to fake a lake of snakes.

(Glider): Can't you just shut up?

(Psychon): But he ate the Russian jack-in-the-box first!

(Flat): I'm just about tired of this guy.

Flat slipped under the barrier and pushed Psychon into the barrier, shocking him. The barrier disappeared, and Flat pushed Psychon off the spinner.

(Psychon): It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper.

(Lurnit): Another team is completely off the spinner!

Skyder flew up and shot webs at Flat, sticking him to the floor. Flat shot an arrow at the web, ripping it. Flat jumped at Skyder and they wrestled until they were both off the spinner.

(Lurnit): Yet another team is completely off the spinner. Now, let's make this more extreme!

Lurnit pressed a button, and made a rod under the spinner come up, relocating the spinner to the air, also tilting and moving even faster. It moved so fast that all of the Flight Aliens were sucked to the spinner.

(Z-Bunch): Zumanimate, zet zid zof zhe zemaining zontestants!

Humanimate fell off the spinner.

(Z-Bunch): Zi'll zet zem zyself.

(Glider): It's 3 to 1, little boy.

Combinationer combined himself with the spinner while Glider shot lasers at Z-Bunch. Z-Bunch made z-shields and blocked them. Z-Bunch threw a z-shuriken at Glider. Glider crawled to the side of it. Crablaster shot a beam at Z-Bunch and gave his Z powers to Glider. Glider made Z-swords, jumped to Z-Bunch, and tried to slash him, but Z-Bunch moved to the side. He whipped around and knocked Glider down and off the platform. As he was falling, his Z powers returned to Z-Bunch.

(Z-Bunch): Zinal zee!

Crablaster rolled at Z-Bunch. Z-Bunch made a Z ramp, and Crablaster rolled up it and off the spinner. He fell. Him and Glider landed on Clawnormous and rolled onto the ground. Z-Bunch shot Z's at Combinationer. He combined them with him and gained Z powers. Z-Bunch and Combinationer shot Z's at each other for a long time. Lurnit pressed a button, returning the spinner to the ground. Combinationer got unmerged with it and the Z's.

(Lurnit): It's safe to call this a tie, so you two get the coolest names. Z-Bunch, you get Muscle Mass. Combinationer, you get Rock Out. The other contestants, I have some word blocks here, so move them around to get your team names.

Lurnit tossed some word blocks at Sound Sample's team, Useless' team, and NME's team. They moved them around. Sound Sample's team got Crunchy Lemon, NME's team got Sparky Watermelon, and Useless' team got Driving You Wild.

(Add-and-Blast): That will work because you guys have me.

(Lurnit): Okay, now for your homes.

Edibility drove a crane and put five large cabins in front of the contestants. The teams ran to cabins. Lurnit drew a lemon on a house, a car on a house, an arm on one, a guitar on one, and an electric watermelon on one.

(Lurnit): Those are your symbols. Hey, it's lunch time. Too bad there's no where to eat your food. Not yet. Because your next challenge is to build your own mess hall, with just two trees and nothing else.

Commercial break.

The teams all had two trees cut down.

(Lurnit): You can use your powers, but for the supplies, just trees. Ready, set, build!

Crunchy Lemon was shown.

(Psychon): I say the rainbow goes on top of the poodle, the screwdriver goes next to the poodle, the umbrella goes on top of the goat, the clarinet goes 3 spaces diagonal down left from the shoebox, and the starfish goes in the middle. Pretty soon, we'll have an observatory!

(Manymachine): But we're building a mess hall.

(Psychon): Yes, I remembered to put the vacuum cleaner on top of the windowsill.

(Battlesuit): Let me try something.

Battlesuit attracted pieces of the trees to himself, then started shooting them down in a large rectangular prism shape.

(Battlesuit): Start building!

Dogface used ice to stick things together, then used fire to melt it. Later, Battlesuit was in the house.

(Battlesuit): I think we've got this challenge down. No one can defeat Crunchy Lemon!

Driving You Wild was shown.

(Copy-Copy): Let's start building our mess hall. I'll start a base.

Copy-Copy stretched and pulled big pieces of bark of the trees. He arranged them in a rectangular way in the ground.

(Bomblow): I'll make sure they stay in the ground!

Bomblow started throwing bombs.

(Copy-Copy): No, wait!

The bombs messed up the base. Copy-Copy got really mad. Later, he was in the house.

(Copy-Copy): That was a big mistake, Bomblow! You completely ruined our chance of winning! And I'm going to ruin yours!

Muscle Mass was shown. Clawnormous carved corners from the trees. He put the corners down, then carved boards. The team members started putting boards on the corners.

(Sportacus): Now how are we going to stick these together?

(Humanimate): Hey, I have an idea!

Humanimate took a piece of gluey tape off of Ironic and used it to stick two boards together. (Sportacus): Good idea, Humanimate. Sportacus did the same thing.

(Ironic): Hey!

Eventually, all of Muscle Mass (except Ironic, of course) was removing tape from Ironic and using it to help build the base.

(Ironic): I command you to stop right now!

They ignored him and continued. Ironic shot water, but Humanimate drank it.

(Humanimate): Thanks. I was thirsty.

Ironic moaned.

(Lurnit): Hey, you guys are breaking the rules! Ironic's tape isn't one of the supplies given to you. You're disqualified!

(Sportacus): Aww.

(Z-Bunch): Zoh, zow zook zhat zou zosers zid! Zou zot zus zisqualified!

(Sportacus): Did you just call us losers?

(Humanimate): Anyone who calls people losers is a loser.

(Ironic, who was extremely skinny): Agreed.

(Z-Bunch, to himself): Zi zotta zurn zattention zaway zrom ze, zo zi'm zot zhe zone zoing zome zonight.

(Z-Bunch, now talking to the rest of Muscle Mass): Zell, zit zas Zumanimate's zidea zo zo zhis zin zhe zirst zlace!

(Sportacus): Yeah! You should've known better.

(Ironic): WAY better.

(Humanimate): You should've stopped me when you realized we were breaking the rules!

A dispute happened between the members of Muscle Mass. Z-Bunch smiled.

Commercial break.

Rock Out was already halfway finished with their mess hall.

(Lightmeraction): We're doing great, guys! Almost there!

Combinationer was combining pieces of wood together to create walls. Lightmeraction was stretching the walls into place. Within Sparky Watermelon, the team had created two long walls and a giant roof, but they were out of wood.

(Absorbo): Now what? We're out of wood.

(Emotion): And we can't get anymore, since we only had two trees.

(Stunner): Maybe we'll still win since ours is the biggest.

(Upside Up): Face it, Stunner. We've lost.

(Skyder): What are your thoughts, NME?

(NME): .................

(Lurnit): 10 minutes left!

Crunchy Lemon and Rock Out hurried in building their mess halls, while Sparky Watermelon, Muscle Mass, and Driving You Wild were all sitting on a long bench made from the wood of Muscle Mass' disqualified mess hall.

(Lurnit): 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! And it's judging time! Edibility?

Edibility walked in.

(Lurnit): Let's see which mess hall you prefer to cook meals in.

Edibility was looking back and forth between Crunchy Lemon's and Rock Out's mess halls.

(Edibility): Hmm....interesting.

He walked past Muscle Mass' building site, and saw Sparky Watermelon's large, uncompleted mess hall.

(Edibility): Mmm-hmm.

He saw Driving You Wild's mess of stuff.

(Lurnit): Have you decided which of these mess halls our contestants will be eating in?

(Edibility): Yep. And the winning team is.....Sparky Watermelon!

(Z-Bunch): Zut zow? Zhey've zonly zot zalf za zall!

(Edibility): Yeah. Half for my kitchen, and the other half for you guys to eat in.

(Lurnit): Very well. Sparky Watermelon will be the only team treated with dinner tonight. And what team will be the first to have an elimination ceremony?

Edibility slowly inspected the mess halls of both Crunchy Lemon and Rock Out.

(Edibility): It's such a tie, I can't decide.

A fly landed on Rock Out's mess hall.

(Edibility): Rock Out loses!

Rock Out groaned.

(Lurnit): Edibility, go on and set up your kitchen. Then, prepare the first meal.

Edibility went to Sparky Watermelon's mess hall and started setting up the kitchen.

(Lurnit): As for all the other mess halls...

Lurnit held out his staff and the other mess halls exploded.

(Lurnit): Rock Out, meet me at the Tree of Sitting later today. And Sparky Watermelon, you will be eating your dinner at the same time.

Later, Absorbo was in the house.

(Absorbo): Finally! Food! I'm hungry.

NME was in the house.

(NME): ...............

Later, all the teams were in their cabins. In the Lemon Cabin, Sound Sample, Manymachine, Fairy Tail, Dogface, and Battlesuit were all on a bed, hiding from Psychon.

(Psychon, loudly): ONE TWO THREE! ONE TWO THREE! I LIKE FISH AND SO DOES ME! THREE TWO ONE! CHILD SQUASH BUTTERFLY! LA-LA-LA-ME-JER-TU-AI!

(Manymachine): First elimination ceremony, we're getting rid of him, right?

Fairy Tail, Dogface, and Battlesuit nodded.

(Sound Sample): Can't we just accept him?

(Battlesuit, quick to respond): NO!!! He's a pest, and we must get rid of him.

Sound Sample stared at Psychon.

Later.....

Rock Out and Lurnit were at the Sitting Tree.

(Lurnit): You've all casted your votes on who you want to leave. The one who does not receive a sweat cookie got the most votes and must be launched by the Giant Spring of Elimination.

(Crablaster): A sweat cookie? Please be me, please be me!

Lurnit held up his staff, and a sweat cookie formed in Crablaster's pincer.

(Crablaster): NOOO!

(Lurnit): Glider, Combinationer, and Flat.

They all got sweat cookies.

(Lurnit): Lightmeraction, Linaport, you were both early off the spinner. And the one who stays is..............................................

Suspenseful music played. All of Rock Out was waiting.

(Lurnit): .....Linaport!

(Flat): Sorry Lightmeraction, you went off a lot earlier.

(Lightmeraction): That's okay! That's totally okay! I hope one of you wins! I'm in a good mood right now. I'm always in a good mood.

(Lurnit): Goodbye, Lightmeraction!

Lurnit launched Lightmeraction using the Giant Spring of Elimination.

(Lurnit): Well, this was the first episode! Come back next time to see who got eliminated! You never know. This is Total.....Drama.....BILLION!

THE END

Characters

Crunchy Lemon

Driving You Wild

Muscle Mass

Rock Out

Sparky Watermelon

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