|Season 1, Episode 3|
|Air date||March 8, 2014|
Humans? What Humans?
Burn Through The Iron Wall With Your Soul!
Is It Okay To Just Get Fired Up? is the third episode of Not Applicable.
Humans screamed too much.
Orders, warnings, pain.
So much noise.
Nothing I couldn't fix.
They think they can stop me. Stall me, perhaps.
I will destroy all I need to in order to find my target.
I will find Swarm 1.
I will destroy it.
All is still again.
[Napoleon]: "Okay, is it just me, or is this a bad idea?"
Napoleon was hiding in an empty, closed dumpster in a dark alleyway. Sirens could be heard passing in the street.
[Herculian]: "Look, if you have a better suggestion of how to avoid the cops, I'm all for it."
[Napoleon]: "I'm just saying that people might be a little suspicious of a new, graffiti-free, baby blue dumpster. That's all."
[Herculian]: "Well, excuuuse me for not having time to concentrate! This wouldn't even be a problem if you, oh, I don't know, weren't a fugitive!"
[Napoleon]: "Hey, it's not my fault I broke out of military school. That place sucked, man. They were totally humorless, extremely strict, and, worst of all, they gave my hair a buzz-cut!"
[Herculian]: "It is entirely your fault!"
[Napoleon]: "A BUZZ-CUT!"
There was a noise from the entrance of the alley.
[Napoleon]: "Now shut up! You're going to get us caught!"
[Herculian]: "Excuse me?!"
The policeman walked down the alleyway. It had been a long day, what with the problems he was having at home and Larry constantly using his mug at the office. Now he was supposed to be looking for some punk kid? Good grief. Seriously though, screw Larry.
Eh, nothing down this alley anyways. What a waste of time. He left the alleyway and drove away in the squad car.
[Napoleon]: "Is he gone?"
[Herculian]: "I think so. We should probably-"
Suddenly, a circle of purple light surrounded the two, growing until it completely enveloped them. They started shaking, as if they were in an earthquake. The light faded as quickly as it had appeared, leaving nothing but an empty alleyway behind.
[Napoleon]: "W-w-what's going o-o-on?!"
[Herculian]: "H-h-how sh-sh-should I kn-know?!"
The rumbling stopped, leaving everything quiet.
[Napoleon]: "Is it safe to go out there?"
[Herculian]: "I don't know. I don't have eyes on the outside of this thing. Either way, staying like this is using a lot of energy, so I'm going to change back."
[Napoleon]: "Fine, fine, just let me climb out first."
Napoleon got out of the dumpster and surveyed the surroundinbg area. Herculian turned back to his normal form. His eyes widened.
[Herculian]: "Okay, I've seen some weird things in my day, but this tops everything I've seen so far."
They were standing in a round, purple room. Bright purple light was coming from the ceiling and walls. The room was entirely blank and devoid of objects.
[Herculian]: "What...IS this place?"
[???]: This is a pocket dimension of my creation.
Herculian and Napoleon turned around to see a dark purple being with blank eyes floating towards them. Herculian turned his hand into a large shield, but the being simply phased through it.
Napoleon looked utterly unimpressed.
[Napoleon]: "So, who are you supposed to be?"
[???]: I am of the Zenturi. I have come for the nanobots known collectively as Swarm 1.
[Napoleon]: "And just why is that?"
[Zenturi]: Swarm 1 is an outdated creation. It has served it's purpose, and now only serves as an obstacle to our plans. It must be destroyed.
[Napoleon]: "Okay, look. I don't care about any Zenturi, or pocket dimensions, or plans or whatever you're talking about. I don't even care about your weird telepathy. There's no way I'm letting you destroy Swarm 1!"
[Herculian]: "Uh, Napoleon?"
[Napoleon]: "Besides, even if I was willing to let you destroy it, you couldn't anyway."
[Zenturi]: What do you mean by this?
[Herculian]: "Napoleon, don't-"
[Napoleon]: "The Unit Control Nanobot fused with my brain already. The rest of the nanobots just kind of follow me around. The only way to destroy them would be to kill me, so you basically did all of this for nothing."
[Zenturi]: You are mistaken. If your death is required, then I will ensure it occurs.
[Herculian]: "Napoleon, get out of there!"
[Napoleon]: "Stop worrying so much, man. I'll just deck him or something."
[Zenturi]: Impossible. Matter from your dimension cannot physically interact with matter from mine without-
The Zenturi was harshly interrupted by a punch to the gut delivered by Napoleon, who proceeded to fold his arms and smirk.
[Napoleon]: "Just who do you think I am, anyways? I'm Napoleon Eldridge! Just because something might be impossible doesn't mean that I can't accomplish it! The reputation of my ultimate greatness spreads throughout the universe!"
[Zenturi]: How could this happen? The only explanation would be that this human has...no. Highly improbable at best. There will be time for thought later. The current situation requires a change of tactics.
The Zenturi raised its right arm and formed a glowing sphere in its palm.
[Herculian]: "Napoleon, look out! DOOODGE!"
[Napoleon]: "TRANSFORMATION, GOOOOOOOO!"
Napoleon threw his sunglasses up in the air as he became surrounded in a white glow that twisted and turned until reaching it's final shape. Napoleon reached up into the air to grab his sunglasses, and-
Was interrupted by a beam of purple energy throwing him against the wall. The stream of energy kept going, chipping away at his new form.
[Zenturi]: Extermination of target 75% complete. Upon erosion of body, the operation will be 100% complete. Increasing output.
The beam intensified, growing larger and brighter. Small chunks of Napoleon's body started to break off.
[Batdrill]: (No...no way is it going to end like this...no way is Batdrill going to let it end like this...no way am I going to let it end like this...now...let's hope...I can pull this off in time...)
Batdrill curled up his body, turning himself into a large drill.
Batdrill's body started rotating at high speed, going faster and faster with each rotation.
A small space started forming as Batdrill's drill started pulling away from the wall.
Batdrill became surrounded in a white light as he rocketed forwards, straight towards the Zenturi. His drill body made contact, and dug straight through to the other side, leaving a large hole where most of the Zenturi's torso used to be.
The Zenturi's statement was followed up with a huge explosion of energy, along with the pocket dimension collapsing, leaving the three in the same alley they started out in.
The Zenturi started fading away, becoming more and more transparent. Before it faded out completely, it managed to say one last statement.
Napoleon turned back into his human form and limped over to where his sunglasses were lying, cracked on the ground.
[Napoleon]: "Well, if they're anything like you..."
He picked up his sunglasses and set them on his face.
[Napoleon]: "I'll just have to be ready."