|Season 1, Episode 29|
Brazilian Soccer Match
Hollywood is the twenty-ninth episode of Evan Billion.
(Evan's voice): Previously, on Evan Billion.....
(Red-Shirted Brazilian): I'm Lucas Felix. My friends here are Matheus Vericiano, Arthur Caldas, and Luan Ortência.
Matheus was wearing a purple shirt, Arthur was wearing a blue shirt, and Luan was wearing an orange shirt.
(Kevin): Well, hello, Lucas and company. I'm Kevin. We just came to Brazil in a continuous search for my friend Ben Tennyson.
(Lucas): Is he missing?
(Kevin): No, I just want to find him so I can prove to Evan that he's real.
(Lucas): What would you guys say to a bet?
(Kevin): What kind of bet?
(Lucas): A 4-on-4 football game. If you win, we'll tell you where Ben is. But if we win, you become our eternal servants.
(Evan): Seems pretty fair to me.
(Lucas, smiling evilly): But here's where it gets a tiny bit unfair. For us, of course. This will be a Superpower Match. In a Superpower Match, players can use any powers that they have. But only after every two points scored, not counting points scored in superpower rounds.
(Announcer): Nossa pontuação é 5-0! Pode Alienação manter-se? Vamos ver com esta próxima superpotência round! (Translation: Our score is 5 to 0! Can Alienation keep up? Let's see with this next superpower round!)
Arthur laid his hand on Rocket, who slowly became coated in ice. He eventually froze.
(Evan): Hey! What did you do to my pet?
(Arthur): Ice touch. I can ice things just by touching them. But your dog is half-Polymorph, right?
(Arthur): Well, his acid should melt through my ice. But meanwhile......
Arthur kicked and almost made a goal, but Kevin intercepted with his foot. Evan transformed.
(Evan): Sportacus! Let's get this on!
Evan flew and kicked across Mineirão. Luan caught on fire and flew up. He kicked back down into Mineirão. Kevin slid Rocket, still frozen, across Mineirão. He kept pushing Rocket, until Rocket slid by himself. Kevin then jumped onto Rocket and rode him like a bobsled. Lucas, Arthur, and Luan were all trying to make goals, but Kevin absorbed ice and created three lightning bolt-shaped ice weapons. He threw them at Lucas, Arthur, and Luan. They knocked Lucas and Arthur down, but Luan became fire melted his ice. Kevin stuck his foot down and used it to propel himself forward. He then jumped off, and Rocket crashed into Luan. Evan flew up and shot an explosive ball at his target, sending it up near Evan. Evan kicked it, but Matheus grew and grew and grew a lot bigger. He blocked with his chest. Evan flew into Matheus and punched him.
In pain, Matheus kneeled down, uncovering some goal for Evan to kick into. Kevin passed to Evan, and he kicked and made a goal.
(Announcer): Alienação finalmente faz um ponto! Mas AMLL ainda está 4 pontos à frente! (Translation: Alienation finally makes a point! But AMLL is still 4 points ahead!)
Rocket was facing Lucas in a superpower round. Lucas ran back near Luan, Arthur, and Matheus.
(Evan): What's wrong? Scared you're gonna lose?
(Lucas): No, but you should be!
AMLL all started glowing. Green energy coated all of them, and yellow mist surrounded them.
(AMLL): Transformação de mega energia Super awesome! (Translation: SUPER AWESOME MEGA ENERGY TRANSFORMATION!)
A mini-tremor happened, but nothing was affected, except AMLL. They were all rapidly shaking. They started growing. When they finished, they were all double their original sizes. Lucas was glowing green, Arthur was glowing blue, Luan was glowing red, and Matheus was glowing purple.
(Lucas): It's time for you to see our light!
Lucas pointed to Sharpoint, and a giant energy hand with a hole in it came up and grabbed Sharpoint. Lucas kicked, charging what he kicked with green energy, and made a goal through his hand's hole.
Lucas kicked, sending his target flying extremely fast towards Sharpoint. Evan and Kevin tried to stop it, but they were too slow. It slammed into Sharpoint and made a goal. Sharpoint collapsed, injured. Evan, Kevin, and an unfrozen Rocket ran to him.
(Evan): Sharpoint, can you hear me?
We now see through Sharpoint's eyes. Sharpoint saw Evan with double vision.
(Evan, out of Sharpoint's eyes): Sharpoint, can you still play?
Sharpoint shook his head, and limped over to a bench and sat down.
Kevin tripped over Luan's target. Kevin stopped his fall by standing on Luan's target, but he couldn't balance. Kevin fell down hard, and his foot sent Luan's target into his goal, scoring a point for AMLL.
(Kevin): Go on without me.
(Kevin): You're wasting time. Go on.
Arthur kicked his target and tried to score a point. Rocket tried to block it, but it knocked Rocket onto his back and made skid marks on his tummy. Arthur scored a point. Rocket limped and sat next to Kevin and Sharpoint.
(Announcer): Com um placar empatado, 64-64, a 7 minutos do fim, Evan é deixado sozinho contra um time de 4 em uma rodada superpotência! (Translation: With a tied score, 64 to 64, and 7 minutes left, Evan is left alone against a team of 4 in a superpower round!)
(Lucas): Well, Evan, looks like you're alone, 1 to 4. I'll give you two options. Either decide that you we're too strong for you, or stand up against us and lose very badly. Your choice. But either way, you and your friends will become our servants.
(Evan): We'll never be your servants! We've come a long way to find Ben. Not just today, but for a long time. And if you want to stand in our way, then so be it. But I'll never give up! You can injure my body, but you'll never injure my fighting spirit! A spirit that will live inside me until my date of death! Now my friends and I may be in a bad position, but after this game, you'll be in a much worse position! Now, let's tango!
Feet Balled flew in a circle. He gained speed each time he completed one time around, and eventually caught on fire. When he thought he was going fast enough, he returned flying towards Matheus at extreme speeds.
(Feet Balled): YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
He flew into Matheus' chest. Matheus started cracking. A spherical burst of white light emerged, breaking Matheus apart. It expanded, coating all of Mineirão in its light. Everything started cracking as everyone evacuated, except Evan and Matheus. Then, a point was scored.
Evan, whose clones had merged and reverted, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint were talking to Lucas, Arthur, and Luan. The Brazilians were still in their energy states.
(Lucas): That was an awesome game. People will be talking about it for years! We may have lost, but you guys also helped our team become more popular. Now, the bleachers will completely fill up during all of AMLL's games. Thank you for that. Too bad we can't play for a while without our goalie.
In the background, a hospital truck was seen, turned around with the back doors wide open. Paramedics were taking turns placing pieces of Matheus' broken stone body into the truck, then going back out to get some more.
(Matheus): Did you guys find every single piece? Seriously, I need them for when I get revenge on Evan! Pick up some pebbles just in case! Are you listening to me?
(Head Paramedic): Okay, that should be all.
(Matheus): No! I'm sure there's some more rocks out there! THIS ISN'T OVER, EVAN LEVIN! WHEN I'M FIXED, I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL-
The paramedics shut the doors, blocking out the goalie's voice.
(Lucas): Now about Ben, where he is, that is what this whole game was about, right?
(Evan): Yep yep yep.
(Lucas): Matheus told us that Ben was going to Hollywood. The alien that he had defeated had laid three huge eggs there, and Ben was going to defeat the babies before they could cause any harm.
(Kevin): So, let's talk about this. If the alien laid eggs in Hollywood, how did it end up in Brazil?
(Luan): Well, the alien actually laid four eggs, and one of them hatched early into a spaceship that the alien flew to Brazil.
(Evan): Okay, Alienation, I'll turn into Sportacus and fly us all there.
Evan turned into Sportacus.
(Kevin): Evan, we're not playing soccer anymore. We don't have to go by that dumb name.
(Evan): I like it though. It makes us sound super tough!
(Kevin): Okay, do you even know what alienation means?
(Evan): .......Super tough?
Later, Evan, still Sportacus, was flying over roads in Arizona. He was tightly holding Sharpoint against his chest. Rocket was riding on Evan's back, with stretched legs drooping down from Evan's bottom. Kevin was holding onto his pet's legs. F.I.N.D. passed a sign that said "Welcome to California!"
(Kevin): Can't you go any faster? I'm not entirely sure I can hang onto Rocket's buttery legs much longer.
(Evan): I'll go a bit faster.
Evan increased his speed greatly, by so much that Rocket's legs rose up into the air, higher than Evan. A dark green ball with one small red eye that looked like it was made of hay that wasn't bundled very well appeared in front of Evan's head.
Evan crashed into the ball, and it, as well as F.I.N.D., fell to the ground and rolled a long distance. They stopped rolling when they hit a large tree. The ball recovered swiftly. It had three thin tentacles like jellyfish tentacles with barbs on the end. The creature spun his tentacles rapidly and hovered.
(Evan): What is it?
(Kevin): It's some species of alien.
Six small fangs popped out of the bottom of the alien's head. The fangs spread out, revealing a mouth. The alien shot a stream of slime from the mouth, sticking F.I.N.D. to the large tree they had crashed into a minute earlier. The Billiontrix ran out of power, causing Evan to revert. The group struggled to get free, but it didn't work. Sharpoint made a long diamond come out of the ground and tried to slice the goo, but the alien's muck was too tough. In the distance, a stretch limo drove on the street, but it stopped when the driver noticed what was going on. The alien's barbs each generated electricity, making an electric circle, and the alien flew closer and closer to the gang.
(Evan): We're dead meat!
Sharpoint shot the diamond at the alien, but the alien inhaled it and swallowed it.
(Evan): Okay then, Kirby.
The green ball spat the diamond back out at high speeds, but it was made of fire. The projectile smacked Sharpoint in the head. Rocket chose to do some spitting of his own, and let acid out of his mouth. The alien inhaled it and spat it back out as fire. Rocket made a hole in his head. The alien's counterattack went through the hole and missed its target, instead hitting the big tree. Rocket closed the hole in his head. The Vulpimorpher stretched his neck over to the alien and tied up its legs.
(Evan): Good job Rocket!
Sharpoint made more diamonds come from the ground and repeatedly poked the alien with them.
(Alien, in defeat): SKRAWTCH! SKRAWTCH!
The alien knocked Rocket away and soared into the air, back into outer space. The door to the stretch limo opened, and a bald man in a blue shirt and blue jeans walked to Evan and the gang.
(Man): Wow! That was awesome!
(Man): I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to the Vulpimorpher. Did you see that neck stretch? Amazing. This creature is film material.
(Kevin): What are you talking about?
(Man): My name is Cecan Facsem. I'm a TV producer.
(Evan): That name seems really familiar. Hey, aren't you the producer of that show, Fail #Fail?
(Cecan): Yep, that was my show!
(Evan): I love that show! I especially liked Fail #6. Rollerskating and pole vaulting just don't mix.
(Cecan): That show made me really famous. Too bad it got cancelled.
(Cecan): People don't like embarrassment these days, I guess. Last month, someone sent in a fail video of their brother, but the brother snuck in our studio and edited it. Check it out.
Cecan pulled out a video recorder and started a video. A boy was holding his skateboard near a brick wall, and his sister was with him.
(Sister): You can't jump over a brick wall without a ramp.
(Brother): Shut up, I can do whatever I want.
The brother got on his skateboard and skated to the brick wall. The camera cut to a clip of the boy in a full body cast on the other side of the wall.
(Brother): Yay! It worked!
Cecan put the recorder back.
(Evan): So if your show is cancelled, what are you going to produce?
(Cecan): I was planning to do a show about Saudi Arabian jelly, but after seeing your pet just now, I think he's got what it takes to be my next star!
(Evan): What about Sharpoint, Kevin and I? We should be in the show, too.
(Cecan): Whatever. But I get to pick the show's name.
The screen turned yellow, and a red explosion shape appeared, with the words "ROCKET TO ADVENTURE!" on it. Some footage of Rocket eating a bowl of cereal was displayed. "ROCKET TO ADVENTURE!" showed again, then some more footage of Rocket bouncing on a trampoline was shown. "ROCKET TO ADVENTURE!" showed one more time, and Rocket was attempting to eat cereal while he was bouncing on the trampoline, but the cereal bounced onto his head, and Rocket busted through the trampoline. The screen zoomed out, and the footage was being shown on a TV. Some boys were watching it. The screen showed several different families enjoying the show. The screen then went to Cecan and F.I.N.D. in a small room with a gray floor, gray walls, a few chairs, and a TV. Evan, Kevin, and Sharpoint were sitting in the chairs, and Cecan and Rocket were up near the TV.
(Kevin): What's the big idea? You said we were going to be in the show.
(Cecan): Be patient, young one. You'll be the minor characters, starting in the next episode.
(Evan): I'm fine with that, but what about the action? We fight aliens all the time, and this is a reality show, shouldn't we fight aliens there, too?
(Cecan): Darla, bring the Podardicon.
The door opened, and a woman with long black hair, a black skirt, and a red shirt walked in, pushing in the alien that F.I.N.D. fought earlier.
(Evan): It's that alien!
(Cecan): Evan, no, wait!
Evan blasted electricity. The alien inhaled it, swallowed it, and spat it back as fire. Evan ate the fire, and his head started burning. Evan breathed a stream of fire, which hurt the alien for a while, until it spat a stream of goo. The goo extinguished the fire and stuck Evan's lips together. The alien knocked Evan to the wall with its tentacle, and the wall fell down. Meanwhile, Cecan pulled out the video recorder and filmed the rest of the fight. Evan became a ball of fire for a short time and dashed into the alien, sending him back. The alien tried to resist by holding onto the wall, but it ended up pulling the wall down.
(Cecan): Marvelous, marvelous! Keep going!
The Podardicon shocked Evan with its tentacle, then spun all of its tentacles, rapidly hitting Evan with them. Evan stepped back and out of the alien's way. He bent down, exposing the alien to the fire on his head.
It knocked Evan back with its tentacle. Then, it walked to him and squeezed him tightly with all its tentacles.
(Cecan): This is your chance, Rocket. Save your sidekick!
Rocket spat acid on the alien.
The alien let go of Evan. Evan breathed lots of fire on the goo on his mouth, causing it to melt. He then ate a chair, and a chair appeared in his hand. With both hands, Evan pointed the chair at the Podardicon. A bunch of chairs shot out of it, burying the Podardicon.
(Podardicon, in defeat): Skraaaaaaaawtch.
Cecan turned off the camera.
(Cecan): Marvelous! That was great, Rocket!
(Evan): Rocket? But Mr. Facsem, I'm the one who did all the work!
(Cecan): Nonsense! Your claim isn't marvelous. Rocket is the star of this episode. He's the star of every episode!
(Evan): Maybe you think that, but the viewers know that I'm truly the awesome one in this series.
(Cecan): They'll think again when I add in some footage of Rocket, and Rocket only.
Cecan kneeled down next to Rocket and whispered something in his ear. The Vulpimorpher nodded. Cecan and Darla left.
(Kevin): Well, our pet's got his own show, with nearly all the footage, and we're barely a part of it. Great.
(Evan): That's not so.
(Kevin): Evan, what are you planning?
(Kevin): Eh, good enough for me.
Later, Cecan and Rocket were walking on the sidewalk downtown.
(Cecan): Due to things like Hollywood and a large size, California is marvelously populated. There's gotta be some crime somewhere.
They walked for a while, but nothing was happening. They stopped near a pet store, with dog collars in the window.
(Cecan): Hey Rocket, look at those dog collars!
Rocket glanced at the collars while Facsem pulled out a remote-like device. He pointed it at a walking man and pressed a button. The man picked up a rock, threw it at the window, and broke it. He grabbed the dog collars and ran away.
(Cecan): Oh no! A crime! Rocket, you know what to do.
Rocket ran after the man. Cecan pulled out the video recorder and turned it on. The leash robber saw Rocket behind him, and turned into an alley. When Rocket got there, he saw the robber climbing up windows. As Cecan got there, Rocket stretched his arm at the robber. Rocket grabbed the robber and pulled him down.
(Cecan, grabbing the leashes): Is there anyone more amazing than the one and only, truly incredible Rocket? I think not!
Back at the studio, Evan as Green Thumb went to a door. After looking around, he turned his hand into acid and melted the lock. He walked in and reverted. A bit later, Kevin and Sharpoint walked in too. They saw Evan messing with a computer.
(Evan): Either of you got video editing skills?
(Kevin): You having trouble?
(Evan): Yeah, I'm having trouble getting to level 6 in this game.
(Kevin): And, the video?
(Evan): Yeah, I tried that for a few minutes, then started playing this game. But I'm having trouble getting to level 6.
They heard some approaching footsteps.
(Voice): Cecan's not gonna be happy.
(Kevin): It's Darla!
Darla came in, holding a remote like Cecan's.
(Darla): Oh, don't worry. You won't be kicked off the show or anything. In fact, we'll need you for an episode pretty soon.
She pointed the remote at them. Later, Rocket was in a living room, with a bunch of dog toys on the floor. Cecan and the camera crew were standing on a wall, getting ready to film.
(Cecan): This'd be a good time to get some "when Rocket's not being super awesome" footage. Let's roll in 3, 2, 1!
Rocket looked at the dog toys, but wasn't interested in them. He looked straight at the camera, and waved and smiled, albeit awkwardly.
(Cecan): This isn't working. Darla, bring them in.
Darla motioned at the door. Evan, Kevin, and Sharpoint entered the room, then all sat on a couch.
(Cecan, into camera): Rocket's outgrown his toys, so in his free time, he plays games with his pals.
The cameramen shot Rocket playing rock, paper, scissors against Evan, Kevin, and Sharpoint.
(Evan/Kevin): Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!
Rocket threw paper, but his opponents all threw rock.
(Evan/Kevin): Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!
The team all threw paper. Rocket threw scissors.
(Evan/Kevin): Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!
Rocket threw rock. Evan and Kevin threw scissors, but Sharpoint threw paper. Suddenly, Sharpoint changed his hand to scissors.
(Cecan): What luck!
Cecan shot a disappointed glance at Darla.
(Kevin): Rocket, will we ever beat you at anything?
(Evan): Yeah, Rocket. We're all so pathetic in comparison to you.
Rocket looked confused.
(Kevin): Let's go Rocket! Rocket! Rocket!
(Evan/Kevin): Rocket! Rocket! Rocket!
Evan and Sharpoint sat under a tree, with Kevin standing in front of them.
(Kevin): Anyone remember shooting another ep of Rocket's Adventure?
(Evan): Wasn't it Rocket to Adventure?
(Kevin): They got footage of us doing stuff I don't remember doing. Sitting around playing pick-up sticks and twiddlywinks.
(Evan): Yeah, I don't remember that either.
Rocket ran in front of them. He stretched around Evan, Sharpoint, and Kevin, then kept rotating himself around them. Sharpoint made his hand into a point, then stabbed Rocket away.
(Evan): Come on, Rocket. You're a big star. You shouldn't be hanging out with nobodies like u--, I mean, like Sharpoint and Kevin.
(Kevin): You better be glad you're my cousin.
Rocket went to Kevin, and begged.
(Kevin): You want some'n'?
Rocket put his hand on his belly, and rubbed it.
(Kevin): Ah, okay. Stay here, I got some rocket fuel for ya.
He headed towards his car. Rocket went to Sharpoint, and rubbed the side of his own face. Sharpoint punched it hard. Rocket then did the same thing, and Sharpoint kept punching it.
(Evan): Hey, this is actually kinda touching.
(Kevin, arriving with rocket fuel): Touching? Getting punched in the face a bunch of times, is touching?
(Evan): Don't put it like that! Rocket just wants to spend more time with us.
Rocket unscrewed the cap of the rocket fuel, and started drinking it down. Cecan ran in and smacked the fuel away.
(Cecan): No no no! No more of that. My big star shouldn't be poisoning himself with such unhealthy substances! Rocket, let's go to the kitchen. I'll make you some salad.
(Evan): Hey, you let Rocket eat what he wants!
(Cecan): Oh, you're right. How selfish of me. Rocket, would you like the salad, or the broccoli?
(Kevin): We've got some concerns about the show. Main one being, we're not in it.
(Cecan): Huh? I thought you saw the footage of the latest episode.
(Kevin): That wasn't us. That was you controlling us. Which is our next concern. So, uh, yeah, stop doing that.
(Cecan): Controlling? I try my absolute best to be the fairest and most considerate TV producer possible.
Kevin reached into Cecan's pocket, and pulled out his remote.
(Kevin): Then what's this?
(Cecan): A remote.
Evan and Sharpoint chuckled. Kevin pointed the remote at Cecan, and pushed some buttons, but nothing happened.
(Kevin): Huh? What's wrong with this?
He pushed more buttons, to no avail. Cecan held up two batteries.
(Cecan): Looking for these?
Cecan snatched the remote, and started to put the batteries in. Kevin threw a punch, but his arm suddenly stopped. Darla was controlling him. Rocket looked at Cecan and Darla.
(Evan): What's going on?
Kevin ran at Evan and tried to punch him, but Sharpoint grabbed his arm. Kevin absorbed Sharpoint's crystal with his other hand. He made a mace hand, and hit Sharpoint with it. Cecan pointed his remote at Evan, who transformed.
(Sound Sample): Sound Sample!
He cloned, and both Sound Samples blasted soundwaves at Sharpoint and Kevin. Sharpoint resisted the sound a little before moving out of the way, but the sound shattered the crystal off of Kevin. Sharpoint shot crystals at the Sound Samples from behind. After they were hit by a few, they flew up, and blasted soundwaves at Sharpoint.
(Cecan): Roll the camera!
Some cameramen turned on their cameras to film the action. Kevin, made of wood, punched Sharpoint with big fists, knocking him away from the soundwaves, but getting hit by them himself. Sharpoint spawned a big crystal from the ground, and knocked the Sound Samples down with it. They merged and transformed.
He bounced over to Sharpoint, and stunned him with a powder blast. Rocket went to Cecan and Darla, begging.
(Cecan): Oh, yes, right. This is when you come in.
Cecan motioned for a cameraman. The cameraman filmed him.
(Cecan): Total chaos has ensued! Evan, Kevin, and Sharpoint got into a fight over who was Rocket's best friend! But Rocket doesn't want them to fight, and now he's gonna put them in their place.
Rocket shook his head.
(Cecan): Don't wanna fight? Let's change that.
Cecan pointed his remote at Rocket, but Rocket spat acid on it and melted it. Suddenly, Stunner stopped fighting, and looked confused.
Darla then used her remote on Rocket. Kevin broke out of some loops that Stunner had trapped him in. He snuck up behind Stunner and made a hammer hand. Rocket stretched his head and spat acid on Kevin. Kevin screamed before dropping to the ground. Stunner turned around.
(Stunner): Kevin? Rocket?
Rocket spat acid, but Stunner bounced up and dodged it. Rocket spat lots of acid blasts, but Stunner bounced around and dodged all of them. Stunner then stunned Rocket with a powder blast.
(Cecan): That's not supposed to happen! We need to make Rocket look good!
Kevin grimaced in pain from the acid.
(Stunner): Kevin! No!
Sharpoint, unstunned, tried to punch Stunner, who just stunned him again. Stunner reverted, and turned to Cecan.
(Evan): Alright, that's it. Show's over. We're through. For good.
(Cecan, snatching Darla's remote): I think not.
He pointed the remote at Evan.
(Evan): Look at your star! He can't even move.
Rocket was still completely stunned. Evan grabbed him, and pulled him over to Kevin. He flipped Rocket over, and used him like a sponge to wipe up the acid.
(Evan): You can't have a good show about our pet without us being the main deal. Just face it.
(Cecan): Rocket or not, I need a good TV show that the viewers will eat up! Eat up, I tell you!
The Podardicon hovered behind Cecan, and bit onto his head.
Darla and the cameramen laughed.
(Darla): Hey, this is good! Film this.
The cameramen filmed the Podardicon biting Cecan.
(Cecan): Hey, no, don't film me! Stop--
The Podardicon shocked him.
Cecan ran away. Darla and the cameramen chased him. Evan was with Kevin.
(Evan): Kevin, wake up!
Kevin was dreaming. He was standing in a strange, black area. Green, purple, and light blue haze obscured the view. Suddenly, the back of a head appeared in front of Kevin. The head slowly rotated, as Kevin watched in awe.
- Evan Levin
- Kevin Levin
- Lucas Felix
- Matheus Vericiano
- Arthur Caldas
- Luan Ortência
- Ben Tennyson (dream)
- Cecan Facsem
- This was originally called Evan Goes Hollywood.