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Evan Billion
Season 1, Episode 26
Hawaiian Curse
Air date N/A
Written by Blastor Efftank Eitan Elfburger
Directed by ^
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Hawaiian Curse is the twenty-sixth episode of Evan Billion.

Plot

Evan, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint were all riding in Kevin's car. They stopped at a red stoplight.

(Evan, bored): Why do we have to go the museum again?

(Kevin): My girlfriend needs pictures of some artwork for a school project.

(Evan): And we have to get them because.....?

(Kevin): She's busy working on the other part of the project. Hey, you have the camera?

(Evan): I put it in your bag.

Kevin picked up a sack and searched through it. Meanwhile, the light turned green. A buff guy behind Kevin's car honked at him, but Kevin ignored it and kept searching.

(Evan): Uh, Kevin?

The buff guy groaned, then drove around Kevin's car, scratching it in the process. He also punched and broke the window, then stole the sack and drove away.

Theme song!

(Kevin): Hey! Bring that back!

Kevin zipped past the stoplight and chased after the buff guy, who sped up, smiling. Kevin pressed a button on his control panel, and a claw shot out of the front and grabbed the back of the buff guy's car.

(Buff Guy): What the-?

The buff guy drove around, trying to shake Kevin. Both cars crashed into several other cars, causing Kevin's car to lose its grip and fly through the air. Evan, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint all jumped out of the car before it crashed into a parking lot.

(Kevin): Oh, you're SO gonna pay for that.

Kevin absorbed the ground, transformed both his fists into maces, and slammed them together. Kevin ran to the buff guy's car and punched the door down. He then beat the buff guy three times and took the sack back. Six police cars drove up to the car and the police arrested the buff guy.

(Police Officer): Were you the one that caught this guy?

(Kevin): Yep.

(Police Officer): Thank you! Tony Tumbler is a wanted criminal in several states.

(Tony): I's been tryin' t' go national criminal, till yous showed up and stopped me! Thanks a lot.

(Police Officer): And since you caught him, you get a $10,000.00 reward!

The police officer handed Kevin a sack of money. Evan ran up and snatched it.

(Evan): We'll gladly accept this reward. Thank you, officer!

Evan cartwheeled back into the parking lot while the police drove away.

(Evan): Woo-hoo! Yippee! Happy day!

(Kevin, walking into the lot): You can do a cartwheel?

(Evan): .....I can now! So, what are we gonna buy first?

(Kevin): Admission into the museum, that's what we're gonna buy.

(Evan): We're going to the museum NOW? Come on, you know you wanna spend this!

Evan waved some of the bills in Kevin's face. Kevin abducted them.

(Kevin): Yeah, on museum tickets. Let's walk there right now.

(Evan): I have a better idea.

Evan transformed into ABC. He two T's, A's, N's, D's, E's, and M's. They became two tandems. Evan reverted and sat at the front of one of them, and Rocket jumped on the back. Sharpoint then sat at the head of the other tandem.

(Kevin): I'm not getting on that ridiculous thing. I don't wanna look silly.

(Evan): Suit yourself.

They rode off.

(Kevin): Hey, wait for me!

Later.....

The gang arrived outside the museum and saw a guy at a booth. They walked over.

(Kevin): Is this where we buy the tickets?

(Booth Guy): Yep. $200.00 each.

(Evan): 200 DOLLARS? I could buy myself a hundred fast food dinners with that much money!

(Kevin): I don't wanna let Gwen down, so here you go.

Kevin handed the guy 800 dollars. The guy then left the booth.

(Kevin): Where are you going? Don't you have more tickets to sell?

(Booth Guy): More tickets? Those were all the tickets I had!

He left.

(Evan): All the tickets he had? That's weird for a museum.

(Kevin): Let's just get this over with.

They walked to the door.

(Museum Worker): Tickets?

Kevin held up the tickets. The worker closely inspected them.

(Museum Worker): Nice try. Those are tickets to Hawaii!

A security guard came and shooed them.

(Evan): Kevin, next time, actually READ the tickets before you buy them.

(Kevin): Hey, at least we get a trip to Hawaii. And while we're there, we can keep an eye out for Ben, too.

(Evan): Yeah, Hawaii's pretty cool. So, when's the trip?

Kevin looked at the tickets.

(Kevin): Today.

(Evan): We better hurry then! And I know just how we're going to get to the airport.

Evan eyed the tandems. Kevin sighed.

Later.....

Evan, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint boarded the airplane. There was no one else on the airplane, excluding the pilot.

(Evan): Okay, one quick question.....................Where's the bathroom? I've been holding this in for an hour.

(Pilot): All the way in the back of the plane, on the left.

(Evan): Thanks.

He went to the bathroom.

(Kevin): Where is everybody? You'd think there'd be a lot of people going to Hawaii.

(Pilot): Not at this time.

(Kevin): Why not this time?

(Pilot): Well- wait, it's time to fly. Please sit down for the takeoff.

Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint sat down. The pilot took off. They flew to Hawaii, and the pilot deployed the stairs. Kevin was about to step onto the island, but Evan pushed him out of the way.

(Evan): Me first!

Right after Evan stepped onto the island, red energy surged up his leg. Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint then stepped on.

(Evan, sniffing): You gotta love the fresh air of Hawaii.

The pilot handed Kevin his bags.

(Evan): What about my stuff?

(Pilot): Sorry kid, those were the only bags we had.

(Evan): But I'm 100% sure that I-

Before Evan finished his sentence, the pilot closed the door and began flying away.

(Evan): Well, that's a rude pilot.

Kevin handed Evan a map.

(Kevin): Here's a map. Use it to find the beach or something. I'm gonna go check us into the hotel.

Kevin walked to the hotel, while Evan, Rocket, and Sharpoint started walking to the beach. A pelican flew in, grabbed the map with its beak, and flew away.

(Evan): Hey! Bring that back!

The pelican left.

(Evan): I don't need that map! We can get to the beach by ourselves. Follow me!

Evan walked into a random direction, and his pets followed. Eventually, they arrived at a street. Evan was very dirty and his hair was messed up, while Rocket and Sharpoint were fine. Evan began crossing the street.

(Evan, out of breath): We're.....almost.....there.

Evan almost fell, but Sharpoint caught him and pulled him back. Rocket pointed to the right, where the beach was.

(Evan): Finally!

They ran to the beach, but Evan tripped on a rock, stubbed his toe, and fell into a folding chair, that closed on him, then rolled into an umbrella, which also closed on him. He opened the umbrella and took off the folding chair, then a crab walked up and pinched his ankle.

(Evan): Yow!

Evan threw the crab somewhere else.

(Voice): Hey, hey you!

Evan turned around and saw the ocean flooded with everyone, as nobody was on the beach except Evan, Rocket, and Sharpoint. A man was looking at Evan.

(Evan): Yes?

(Man): Have you taken a step on Hawaii?

(Evan): Nah, I teleported here. OF COURSE I TOOK A STEP!

Right after he finished his sentence, everyone began rushing onto the beach. Evan got trampled, but Sharpoint and Rocket didn't.

(Evan): Weird.

At the hotel, Kevin walked into the lobby. Everyone besides the front desk clerk was sitting in chairs, but when they saw Kevin come in, they immediately got up and ran in different directions. Kevin went to the clerk.

(Kevin): I'd like-

(Clerk): Hold on. Gotta use the bathroom. I've been holding this in since it happened.

The clerk dashed to the bathroom. Eventually, he came back.

(Kevin): What's it?

(Clerk): You mean you don't know? I'll tell you. 100 years ago, a powerful being named Ko'a Ha'ku came to Hawaii, saying he needed a tribute for himself. However, no one wanted to be the tribute. So Ko'a Ha'ku cursed the next person that took a step on Hawaii with bad luck, which would grow worse and worse. Then, the stepper would hate their life and want to be the tribute. The unfortunate woman that got cursed was taken by Ko'a Ha'ku, and he told the Hawaiians that every 100 years, he would return for another tribute. Well, he returned three days ago, and restarted the curse. Since then, NO ONE on the island has taken a step. Until you showed up. Sorry kid, you've been cursed with bad luck.

(Kevin): I doubt it. Nothing bad's happened to me.

(Clerk): That could only mean one thing: Someone else took a step before you.

(Kevin): .....Evan was the first off the plane!

Commercial break.

Evan, Rocket, and Sharpoint walked into a gift shop.

(Evan): Kevin gave me $100.00 to spend. I wonder what I'll buy.

He walked to a shelf and saw a picture of Hawaiian girls dancing.

(Evan): Maybe this snapshot of Hawaiian cheerleaders at their tournament.

He went to another shelf and spotted a plate with a plastic dome over it containing cake.

(Evan): Or the cheesecake with pineapple and coconut. Or better yet, both of them!

Evan picked up the cake plate. He tripped over someone's foot when he was going back to the picture, causing him to splatter the cake on the floor and let go of the 100 dollar bill. It flew close to a fan.

(Evan): No!

It got closer.

(Evan): NO!

It went into the fan and got shredded.

(Evan): NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Kevin walked into the gift shop and approached Evan.

(Kevin): Evan, I've got something to tell you.

Later, they were all in the hotel room.

(Evan): So I'm cursed with bad luck? That explains my horrible day.

Two guys wearing gray and black armor broke through the roof and landed in the room.

(Evan): And something tells me it's about to get a lot worse. Come on, Humanimate!

He turned into Carton.

(Evan): I bet my bad luck affected my transformation, too. Now, I'm turning into guys I don't even know about.

One of the soldiers tried to punch Evan, but he turned into a puddle, avoiding the punch. Rocket spat acid at the soldier, and Sharpoint shot diamonds. The other soldier threw a net at Rocket, Sharpoint, and Kevin, sticking them to the wall. Evan solidified and became a car. He drove at one of the soldiers, but the soldier pressed the Billiontrix, reverting Evan. The soldier put him in a net, and both of them jumped through the window and took Evan away. Sharpoint sharpened his hand and cut through the net.

(Kevin): Follow me to the car!

They rushed outside to the parking lot, but didn't see Kevin's car.

(Kevin): ...Oh yeah! I didn't bring my car with me. Plus, Tony Tumbler broke it.

Later, the soldiers arrived at a boulder. One of the soldiers touched the boulder with his finger, and a descending staircase emerged in it. The soldiers carried Evan down the staircase until they got to a large, cave-like room. A colossal, rocky figure was looking down at them.

(Soldier #1): We've brought the tribute, Ko'a Ha'ku.

(Figure/Ko'a Ha'ku): Excellent. Release him.

The soldiers dropped Evan to the ground.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): So, mortal, you ready to be a tribute?

(Evan): You know, if I was gonna be a tribute, I'd rather be one for someone less......ugly.

(Ko'a Ha'ku, angrily): How dare you insult a powerful entity such as KO'A HA'KU!

As soon as Ko'a Ha'ku said his name, six geysers behind him spewed out lava.

(Evan): More like Ko'a NOT'ku. Speaking of not, I'm not going to be your tribute, so good-bye.

Evan turned around and tried to leave, but the soldiers turned him back around.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): But isn't your life horrible? Don't you want to die?

(Evan): My life's not horrible!

He showed the Billiontrix.

(Evan): See this watch? It lets me become a billion aliens. It's a device fit for a king!

Evan leaned against the wall, causing several rocks to fall on his head.

(Evan): That wasn't funny.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): I didn't do it. It's your bad luck. It makes your life miserable.

(Evan): My life isn't miserable! Give me an hour, and I'll prove it.

Later, Ko'a Ha'ku and Evan were outside. They sung Can't Avoid That Bad Luck.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): It seems like your life is a disaster to me. Come on.

Ko'a Ha'ku grabbed Evan. Ko'a Ha'ku broke apart into several rocks, and all the rocks slid down the stairs in the boulder. Ko'a Ha'ku put himself back together, and touched the ground in front of him, opening a rectangular pit of lava that reached from wall to wall. Ko'a Ha'ku held Evan above the lava, and trapped him in a clear, immobile box. Evan pounded the box and yelled, trying to get out, but the box blocked noise.

Commercial break.

Evan put his hand to his throat to indicate suffocation, so Ko'a Ha'ku put two rectangular holes in each face of the box.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): In order for the ritual to work, I'm gonna need two of your possessions. That watch that you showed me should work as the first one.

Evan tried to transform, but Ko'a Ha'ku snapped, teleporting the Billiontrix into another box above the lava.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): As for the third item..............tell me, tribute: Do you have any friends?

(Kevin's voice): Of course he does!

Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint appeared in the stairway. All the soldiers rushed to them. Kevin absorbed the wall and hit some of the soldiers with two mace hands. Rocket stretched his leg and kicked soldiers. Sharpoint shot diamonds at soldiers. A crowd of soldiers rushed to Kevin, but they slipped on Rocket as a puddle, and Sharpoint created a large diamond rising from the ground, that the soldiers crashed into. Rocket split his arm into seven arms. Each arm grabbed a soldier, then each arm threw their soldier at another soldier who was coming towards Rocket. Sharpoint went to the right of the lava pit (Ko'a Ha'ku's right) and shot a diamond at a soldier on the other side.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): You're perfect!

Ko'a Ha'ku grabbed Sharpoint and trapped him in another box above the lava.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): The ritual may now begin.

Ko'a Ha'ku made the wall grab Kevin and Rocket and trap them.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): Soldiers, chant!

The soldiers got up and began chanting sounds, causing the lava to rise slowly. It got closer and closer to Evan, Sharpoint, and the Billiontrix. Using his fluidal body, Rocket slipped out of the wall trap and started knocking down soldiers. The helmet came halfway off one of the soldiers when he was knocked down, revealing human skin. Evan noticed this.

(Evan): Hey, hold on.

The soldiers stopped chanting, causing the lava to slowly fall.

(Evan, pointing to the soldier): You, take off your helmet.

The soldier took off her helmet, revealing a woman.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): Put that back on and keep chanting!

(Evan): All of you, take off your helmet!

(Ko'a Ha'ku): No, keep it on and keep-

(Evan): Shut up a minute, will ya?

The other soldiers took off their helmets, revealing blue aliens.

(Evan): Aliens!

(Blue Soldier #1): Yes. We are aliens. Hundreds of years ago, Ko'a Ha'ku came to us and did the same thing to our planet that he's doing to yours. He made us his personal servants.

(Blue Soldier #2): He wiped out the whole planet this way.

(Evan): But surely, you don't wanna be slaves the rest of your life, do you? I can help all of you get free! Just let me, my watch, and my pet go!

The blue soldiers discussed this.

(Blue Soldier #3): We've come to a decision. We'll let you help us, tribute. Everyone, chant!

The soldiers chanted sounds that were different than the sounds they were chanting before. This made the lava pit close up, Kevin get freed, and Evan drop to the ground along with Sharpoint and the Billiontrix. Evan put his watch on.

(Ko'a Ha'ku): No, you fools!

Evan went to the Clawnormous hologram on the Billiontrix and transformed. He became Clockboy.

(Evan): I forgot, I have no control over my aliens right now.

(Woman Tribute): Let me help you with that. A-mee-na a-mee-na a-mee-na!

Green lightning struck Evan, but it didn't hurt him.

(Woman Tribute): I just took away your bad luck. Try it again.

Evan transformed, and became Clawnormous. He gave a thumbs-up to the woman tribute, then tackled Ko'a Ha'ku and started clawing him. Ko'a Ha'ku created a lava dragon and send it at Evan, but Rocket stretched and started fighting the dragon. Ko'a Ha'ku punched Evan away. Evan turned around and launched several bombs from the back of his head, created by combining his super strength with the eyes on the back-of-his-head. Evan fired bombs until Ko'a Ha'ku collapsed. Evan reverted.

(Evan): Guess he really was Ko'a NOT'ku.

The room began to shake.

(Evan): Speaking of not, let's not be here when this place collapses.

Evan, Kevin, Rocket, Sharpoint, and all the tributes ran up the stairs and left. The place collapsed, and they all turned around to watch it.

(Blue Soldier #4): Well, that takes care of Ko'a Ha'ku.

(Evan): Hey, I've been meaning to ask you guys: If you guys were a planet, then why aren't there a lot more of you?

(Blue Soldier #5): It was a small planet.

(Blue Soldier #6): And now Earth is our planet. Ko'a Ha'ku made us immortal, so we'll be here forever. Everyone, let's go explore!

All the tributes except the woman left.

(Kevin): Aren't you gonna go with the other tributes?

(Woman): I've lived in Hawaii for a very long time. I don't need to explore. I just wanna do something else with my life.

(Evan): .....Hey, why don't you join my team, F.I.N.D.? We look for Ben Tennyson! Just tell us your name and you're in.

(Woman): Carly Theyros.

(Evan): You're in, Carly! Just tell us one thing.

(Carly): And what would that be?

(Evan): You've got a way home? I wanna spend the rest of our money in Hawaii, so we won't have enough to fly back.

They all started laughing.

THE END

Characters

Villains

  • Tony Tumbler
  • Ko'a Ha'ku

Aliens Used

Trivia

  • This episode is longer than most.
  • Coincidentally, this episode's number is 26, which is twice the unlucky number 13.
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