| WARNING: PROFANITY FOLLOWS |
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| The following content contains profanity that may not be suitable for readers of all ages. Please proceed with caution. |
Inmates is the first episode of Crazy Angry Alien Tiger. It aired on June 9, 2015.
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| ---- | Unanswered Prayers |
Synopsis[]
The once proud and blazing inferno began to give way to soft, half-heart crackling from deep within the blaze. As it consumed the last few breathes, the fire began to slow, become lethargic, as though it were tired from the effort of burning. The amber color dimmed as the leaping flames turned into blazing embers. The last life of the fire crawls across the blackened logs. Then, there was silence. Hours go by. The three aliens snooze in a comatose state. Snax, Rocky, and Gunny. They lay in peaceful circle formation on worn-out cots lined with cotton, dirt and other arbitrary items. Dreams that made them feel like they achieved nirvana tingle their souls. A sensation so satisfying, it left them quenching for more. Then, the harsh reality struck them as their dreams withered away. They all woke up with the barrel of guns pointing at their foreheads. The intergalactic police agency stood over them with expressions angrier than a bull going for a red flag.
[Plumber]: All three of you stand up. NOW!
The three of them slowly raise their hands and stand. Rocky began to whimper, leaning toward Gunny. Snax looks around then whispers to Gunny.
[Snax]: There is eight of them. Rocky can take maybe two. I can take four, you got the other two?
Gunny doesn't stray from her glare at one of the faceless masks of a soldier starring right back at her.
[Gunny]: I'll take three.
[Plumber]: Puts your hands behind your-
Snax nods at Rocky who tackles his two Plumbers down. Snax grabs one and swings him around, knocking the other two down. Gunny fires crystals from her hands, stabbing all three of her Plumbers at once who fire crazily, hitting the ceiling. Snax stabs one with his claw and punches another down before mauling him. The last one fires and Snax dodges the blast and tackles the female human down. He rips her head off, the spinal cord still connected to her neck. Rocky slams the ground, causing the two soldiers he was assigned to take down fell on their rumps. Rocky jumps up and slams an arm on each of them. This was all orchestrated within five minutes. The three of them catch their breath then run off.
After sneaking past multiple squads, the group reaches the pier. They spot a celestial barge preparing to depart. Snax spots a sign and snatches it. It tells all the information. There were twelve crew members. Two of them were the pilots. They were heading toward Khoros with no Plumbers aboard.
[Snax]: Perfect.
The three sneak aboard through the rear end of the ship. One of the crew members, obviously wasted, was staggering and crashing into things. He bumbles over himself and falls on his face. Snax sighs and stomps on his head vigorously. Gunny looks away as Snax wipes the flesh off of his boot, laced with Vulpimacer skin.
[Rocky]: Eleven more.
Snax smiles as the three quietly dash across the chamber. Gunny slowly opens the door. It creaks and three crew members look up then continue their miscellaneous tasks. One is sweeping the floors. Another one is checking the supply while the third is helping the second with a clipboard taking notes. Gunny forms a diamond shards and tosses one, killing the one who was sweeping. The other two don't notice the stealth kill. She creates two more shards and tosses. She hits one in the leg and misses the other completely. Before they can scream, Rocky pounds the ground causing them to fall. He drills into the stomach, chunks of flesh soaring. He wipes the blood off before turning to Snax, widely grinning like a little child who just received his favorite candy.
[Snax]: Stop smiling. You look like an idiot. We're suppose to be professionals.
The enter the next room. It was the cabins. The room was empty. Snax opens one of the lockers and discovers a half-eaten pudding. He turns to Gunny.
[Gunny]: Are you fucking serious?
Snax sticks his tongue into the pudding cup and gulps it down. The slurping noise disgusts Gunny who turns her face in disgust. Suddenly, a crew member walks in and looks at them in shock. Snax leaps up and snaps his neck. They scavenge whatever they can before entering the cockpit where five members are asleep. Rocky begins slaughtering them.
[Gunny]: All that's left are the pilots.
[Snax]: I'll take care of them.
He turns to the pilot chamber and tears the door down. The pilots turn to him in awe and horror. One grabs a pistol and holds it up to Snax. He takes a step forward and the pilot fires, hitting Snax in the shoulder. Rocky charges in a rage as the bullets harmlessly bounce off his armor until one hits the skin between the armor as he too falls to the ground. Gunny fires crystal shards, killing both pilots. She enters random coordinates.
[Gunny]: Hopefully, this is the right coordinates.
She walks to the two. They groan in pain.
[Gunny]: How do you two almost always get shot?
Snax frowns at her.
[Snax]: I don't try, ass.
Rocky makes a pile and begins to stack the bodies. Flies buzz around them as an aroma stenches the cockpit.
[Snax]: Yesterday we're in a Plumber vessel. Today we're in a Tetramand barge. Tomorrow? An Amperi sailboat.
[Gunny]: I'm not use to this.
[Snax]: What?
[Gunny]: This. Murder, arson, hijacking. I'm not a criminal. I was supposed to go to Ivy League.
[Snax]: But you murdered a war lord.
[Gunny]: He murdered my family. They needed justice and I completed my mission to restore my family's only thing they had left: reputation.
Snax shrugs before returning to the cabins and begins searching for more pudding cups. The ship soon descends into a donut-shaped planet's atmosphere. They land over a forest with tall thick trees hovering overhead. The ship lands and the door opens. They walk out.
[Snax]: Now what do we do?
[Gunny]: Start a new life I guess.
Suddenly, bushes ruffle behind them. Suddenly, a large amount of Pickaxe aliens charge them.
[Gunny]: Pickaxe aliens!
She dodges a pickaxe that was swung and kicks the alien down. Three more tug at her and drag her down. Twelve leap onto Rocky and bring him to the ground, pounding on him. Snax shouts in agony as they begin pulling his hair. He roars a ferocious roar before slamming the aliens into the ground. He claws at them and bites a few. He turns to see a horde them coming. They grab Gunny and smash her head into the ground, sending her into a comatose state. They begin to pull her away.
[Snax]: Gunny!
He throws the three on his back into a tree. He then chases after her but eleven more aliens restrain him. They begin hitting him in the ribs as the pain fades away because of his adrenaline, Snax roars as he is tugged backward onto the ground. Rocky is on the bottom of a dog pile. He begins shaking the ground but the aliens cling on to him. Once Gunny is out of sight, they scurry away quickly. In a rage, Snax begins punching a tree until he releases all of his anger.
[Rocky]: What do we do now?
Snax scoffs. He spits out some blood before carving a wooden hike stick.
[Snax]: We leave this shit house of a planet. Stick to the plan. Bust out Kon and do whatever he wants us to do.
Rocky thinks for a few minutes.
[Rocky]: No.
[Snax]: What the fuck do you mean no? She's gone. She could be anywhere. We're leaving.
[Rocky]: Gunny is friend. We don't leave friends.
[Snax]: Rocky, light travels faster than sound. That's why some people, yourself for instance, sound bright until you hear them speak.
Rocky begins stomping on the ground, pouting.
[Rocky]: We don't leave her behind.
[Snax]: Well, what are we suppose to do?
[Rocky]: We are saving her.
[Snax]: How?
[Rocky]: We look for her.
Snax shakes his head in disbelief.
[Snax]: Three days. After that, we're gone.
Rocky nods, satisfied. Snax roars again in rage.
[Snax]: We're supposed to be fucking saving Kon right now! This bullshit will get us all killed!
[Rocky]: Let's head that way.
The two of them lock up the ship before gathering some supplies and heading the way they took Gunny. Leaves sway in the wind. The winds sing their songs. The two of them begin hiking upward through the forest.
Her eyes are fuzzy at first, but she quickly snaps them open. Gunny looks around. The thick, rough walls are similar to that of a tree but the texture reminded her of rock. Then she realized where she was. A volcano. Looking around, she sees the pickaxe on their knees bowing at an item on a column. She recognized immediately. The Annihilarg. Her mother had told her the legends of the Contmelia how they would create Universes but a evil spirit called Collectimus would carry around the Annihilarg and destroy them. The stories of the Slimbiotes amazed her. She slowly rolls over and manages to cut her cuffs from a jagged edge of the wall. With super stealth, she creeps backward but bumps into a large creature. She turns in fear and her jaw drops as a large orange alien bangs his fist into her body, immediately knocking her to the ground. She rubs her jaw, which was sore.
[Gunny]: Vulkanus, never though I'd see you again.
[Vulkanus]: You are the reason I became unemployed. You killed my friend. He was going make this place better.
Gunny squints in disbelief. She charges and kicks him in the face. He grabs her ankle and smashes her into the ground.
[Gunny]: What buisness do you have with the Annihilarg?
[Vulkanus]: I have a new master. Collectimus sound familiar?
She drops her jaw in awe.
[Gunny]: You're lying. Probably smoking some fucked up shit.
Vulkanus laughs.
[Vulkanus]: He's coming for you. He knows of your danger. Collectimus will kill your Appoplexian friend and eat your Talpadean protector.
He chuckles once more as Gunny cracks her knuckles and her fist collides with Vulkanus' jaw. He sees spots from the impact and stumbles backward.
[Vulkanus]: You think you can stop him? You're mad.
Gunny punches him again the ribs. He bites down on his lip from the pain. She uppercuts him. He staggers to the side and she goes in for the kill going on his back and putting him in a choke hold. He grabs her spine and smashes into the ground then picks her back up and smashes her into the ground again. Dirt caked into her skin. She spit it out but it lodged in her throat. She gasps for airs and sputters when Vulkanus leaves her mercy. He punches her face into the ground and then everything went black.
Snax chops at the branches in the way with his claws. The two shuffle aimlessly. Rocky nudges Snax on the shoulder.
[Snax]: The fuck you want?
He points ahead of them. Snax sees it. An abandoned village. The buildings were caved in with the roof collapsed. They begin searching for supplies. Snax kicks around rubble and debris. Rocky eagerly picks up a yo-yo and begins playing with it. Snax face palms furiously when he turns and sees it. It was Gunny's utility belt.
[Snax]: Rocky, get over here!
Rocky digs tunnel underground and pops out behind Snax. Snax began sniffing the belt and turns his head.
[Snax]: That way.
He points westbound.
[Snax]: Let's take whatever else is here and continue west.
Rocky nods and continues fiddling with his new found yo-yo.
Her vision is fuzzy. She feels the Déjà vu from before. This time, she felt like she was hungover with her head pounding. She turns to see Vulkanus sitting beside her. She feels heat underneath her and sees a fire. She turns and sees she is roasting, tied to a stick. Vulkanus was wiping his knife with a rag.
[Vulkanus]: Cleaning blades was always a hobby of mine.
Gunny begins moving her shoulders, resisting her demise.
[Vulkanus]: Don't try. The ropes will break and you'll ignite. I doused you in gasoline. We plan on eating you.
She continues to struggle. Vulkanus calls over a pickaxe alien.
[Vulkanus]: This sacrifice is for the Collectimus. For the Annihilarg. We crave you my master.
The pickaxe aliens repeat. Vulkanus picks up the pickaxe alien next to him and slits his back all the way down. Vulkanus laughs as Gunny shrieks as the dead alien's blood is poured onto her.
[Vulkanus]: We shall devour this sacrifice in our masters glory!
The pickaxe aliens cheer. Gunny faints.
Gunny is on her bed, decades ago as a child. She listens to her father argue with her newly crowned brother, emperor of their tribe. He slams the door and sits next to her. Her brother holds up her chin, seeing the innocence in her eyes. He smiles before brutally slapping her. She begins to cry and holds her palm where she was slapped which was tinted red and stung her. Tears streamed from her eyes.
[Brother]: Shut up!
He slaps her again. A bad bruise remains an indenture on her face. She fears it might leave behind a scar. He then leaves the room. Her mother comes in. Gunny knows she's been weeping because her makeup was uneven. Her mother was a professional, elegant woman. Gunny knows she likes to look official. Her mother begins to retell Gunny's favorite story in an effort to cheer her up.
[Mother]: Long ago there was darkness. The Contemelia created us with the Slimebiotes, creatures that can adapt to anything. However, things were not easy. A evil Contemelia called Collectimus turned on his brothers and slaughtered them. The remaining ones were forced to inbreed to continue their species to survive. He created the Annihilarg to destroy universes but the remaining Contemelia were able to put him into hibernation for billions of years.
[Gunny, slightly sobbing]: Is my brother like Collectimus?
The mother sadly looks away. She turns to the door as the father screams and blood pools into the room. The mother clutches Gunny in fear. The brother creaks open the door, dagger in hand. The mother pulls out a pistol.
[Brother]: You won't shoot me.
He takes a step forward the mother clicks the pistol. The brother stops. He then takes another step. The mother fires. It hits him under the shoulder. Blood flows down his chest. He charges as his mother fires again and misses. He digs the dagger into her head, slicing it in half. Gunny shrieks in fear. The brother smiles before leaving the room. Gunny starts a fire, knowing what she must do. She takes her mother's golden jewelry and melts in, creating a pot of molten gold. She balances it on the door hinges. Hours later, Gunny is asleep. The brother was ready to kill her for the power. He slowly twists the knob and opens the door. The molten gold falls onto his face. His shriek pierced the night as Gunny grabs the pistol from her dead mother and shoots the remaining round at her brother. He drops dead. She begins crying and runs away, never to return to her home planet.
Snax and Rocky spot it. It was colossal. The volcano looked dormant. Snax sniffed the air.
[Snax]: That's where she is.
Rocky nods before creating an underground tunnel. He points to it.
[Rocky]: This way is faster.
He jumps down into the hole and begins drilling forward. Snax dives into the hole. He mutters sarcastically.
[Snax]: Come on Alice, let's go down the rabbit hole.
For a few moments, the walk in silent with the only sound is Rocky's drill plowing through the dirt. Snax itched his head with his claw. His fingernails were dirty with dirt caked into the crevasses. His neck ached. Snax began cracking his knuckles out of sheer boredom. The drilling shot dirt to the sides. For a few seconds, Snax just watched the pattern. He watched Rocky's tailed which happily wagged as he plowed through. This used to be Rocky's life. Snax remember his youthful days on his homeworld, fearing for his life everyday and refusing to sleep in horror that he might not wake up. He hated his homeworld especially because they were always in war. Always. Even the Incurseans were impressed at how they were always at war. Snax thinks of his mother. She hated him but he had a unwarranted love for her. She never nurtured or cared for him. He didn't want to think about it anymore.
[Snax]: You ever think about getting back in the business?
Rocky answers without hesitation.
[Rocky]: I'm clean now.
Snax continues his rambling.
[Snax]: Yeah, well, once we rescue diamond head in there, we'll go get Kon. He has a plan for us.
Rocky stops drilling and turns to Snax.
[Rocky]: Are you stupid? Kon is dead.
He turns around and begins to plow once more. Snax is upset by this and lunges for Rocky who easily bats him down. Snax stays down, wiping sweat off of his brow.
[Snax]: Sorry.
[Rocky]: I know.
Snax senses ever since he was in prison, Rocky's intelligence has been sprouting. He no longer refers to himself in third person. Rocky stops plowing because he has hit rock.
[Rocky]: We're here.
Snax nods and in unison, the jump out into the volcano. They spot Gunny screaming in pain, on fire. Snax claps his hands together and the wind from it puts the fire out. Vulkanus turns to him.
[Vulkanus]: Kill them all!
The thousands of Pickaxe aliens charge the three of them. Gunny groans in pain. Snax slumps against the wall. Vulkanus sits on his throne and watches as Snax begins ruthlessly tearing about his minions.
[Snax]: I'm so done with this shit!
His wrath encourages his adrenaline as he continues stabbing the aliens. His merciless attitude impresses Vulkanus. Maybe the master will have a use for him. Vulkanus notes to himself. The aliens continue to charge and continue to be murdered. It was a massacre. The bodies began to pile up. Rocky created a ditch and let the dead bodies fall in. Gunny jumped up and did a split, each foot kicking an alien in the face. Snax roars as he chomps one and rips another in half. About a dozen begin tackling down Rocky but he vibrates his entire body, causing them to vomit. He then bashes his hands down. A pool of blood is formed with chunks of flesh on the ground. Gunny turns to Vulkanus.
[Gunny]: Is this what you want? Your friends to be slayed?
[Vulkanus]: All for the glory of Collectimus.
She attempts to fight him but pulled down by a few dozen aliens. She pulls a handgun out of her reclaimed utility belt and fires. She tosses a grenade to Snax who pulls the pin with his mouth and tosses it. Rocky screams in pain as a pickaxe digs into his back. Snax pulls it out and begins hacking at nearby aliens. Gunny falls to the ground as a shovel hit the back of her head. Snax growls as a pickaxe cuts off a chunk of fur. He roars, the force throwing back a few dozens.
[Snax]: How are supposed to kill an army when there is only three of us?
He mutters as a pickaxe alien jumps onto his head and stabs him repeatedly with a knife but constantly missing from Snax doing a backflip and tears the alien into thirds, the head, the torso, and the rump. Gunny shoots out shards and pulls out a flamethrower from Snax's backpack.
[Snax]: Why the fuck do I have a flamethrower?
[Gunny]: It'll come in handy.
She unleashes a dragon's breath as an inferno blazes the aliens. Piles of ashes build. Another dozen charges Rocky. He kicks up the ashes in their eyes and pound them down with a few powerful stomps onto their chests. He listens to their ribs shatter as the fall down, groaning for mercy.
[Vulkanus]: Enough!
He calls a retreat for the few remaining pickaxe aliens. He opens the Annihilarg, threatening to push it.
[Gunny]: You're bluffing!
Rocky looks scared.
[Rocky]: Where is Snax?
Gunny looks around then glances up and sees an arm ripped through Vulkanus' chest with his heart beating in the hand. Vulkanus slumps to the ground with Snax standing behind him, the heart still beating. He crushes it and blood explodes onto him. Snax spits on the body which began to turn cold. He turns to the Pickaxe aliens,
[Snax]: You are all free!
They cheer and disperse quickly. Snax grabs his flamethrower and stuffs it back into his backpack.
Gunny sits in the pilot seat.
[Gunny]: Where to?
Snax thinks for a few seconds.
[Snax]: Earth.
[Rocky]: Are you stupid? We were almost killed there.
[Snax]: I have a secret bunker in Undertown, more supplies that we need.
Gunny enters the coordinates and turns on autopilot. Rocky sleeps in the barracks. Gunny sits across from Snax.
[Snax]: You know, what happened on Peptos-I'm sorry. I'm not really in the right mind-set right now and-
[Gunny]: It's okay.
There's an awkward silence.
[Snax]: Do you think he's dead? Kon, I mean.
[Gunny]: You shouldn't think about it.
[Snax]: You're probably right.
He walks away. Gunny turns and looks at the scar on her face from her brother, stroking it softly. She frowns before returning to pilot the ship. End