|Season 1, Episode 6|
|Air date||October 23rd, 2014|
Machina Ex Deus
This Is My Final Stand
It was another cold autumn night. Halloween decorations were put up all over the quiet suburban neighborhood, with Jack-O’-Lanterns softly glowing, their small candles flickering in the fresh air, casting shifting shadows upon the porches of the cozy houses. Not a person was to be seem at this time of night, save for a young couple walking down the street.
“Are you sure it’s safe out here?” The young lady asked.
“Of course it is.” The young man reassured her. “After all, I’m here, aren’t I? Anyone tries messing with us, I just conk ‘em out.”
The young lady chuckled.
“With those noodle arms of yours?” She ribbed. “You’d just make them laugh until they passed out.”
“Yeah, well, that’s just your opinion.”
They walked in silence for a bit, before suddenly the girlfriend stopped and let out a small scream, covering her mouth.
“What?! What is it?!” Her boyfriend asked.
“Up...up there!” She answered, pointing up the sidewalk to what appeared to be a person, standing there with a bizarre, crooked neck.
“Stay here.” He said. “I’ll go check it out.”
He carefully approached the figure, slowly inching towards it. As he got closer, it didn’t move a muscle, simply standing in place. Eventually, he got within a few feet of it, examining the shape to find...
“Hey, it’s okay!” He called back to his girlfriend. “It’s just somebody’s Halloween decoration!”
She rushed up to him and looked at the decoration, finding it to be an oddly shaped skeleton with a carved pumpkin on its head and a noose around its neck.
“Well, that’s a bit...morbid.” She said, stepping away from it.
“Isn’t that the point?” Her boyfriend asked. “I’m just wondering why someone would stick it in the middle of the dang sidewalk.”
“Well, whatever.” She said. “Let’s just get out of here, okay?”
She stepped around the figure and started walking away, her boyfriend close behind. After a while of walking, there was an ominous chuckle close behind her.
“Hey, would you knock it off? I’m scared enough already, okay?”
There was no reply.
She whipped around, only to find that she was completely alone.
“H- hello?” She asked. “Is there anyone there?”
There was another laugh from behind her again. She whipped around, once again finding nobody there.
“If this is a prank, it’s not funny!” She yelled. “Knock it off!”
There was yet another laugh from behind her. She whipped around again.
Her scream was cut short.
“So, long story short, I basically left the place in complete chaos.”
“Wow. I...didn’t even know it was possible to escape military school.”
It was another sunny day in the city. The air was cooling down from the summer, and Napoleon had been wishing he had brought some long sleeved shirts with him.
“Well, you know me:” Napoleon said. “Constantly subverting authority in the most outlandish way possible!”
A cold wind blew through the alleyway, making Napoleon shiver. Herculian noticed this and raised an eyebrow.
“If you’re cold, can’t you just make a sweater or something?” He asked.
“Look, man, it’s not like Swarm 1 has a guidebook. I can make food and weapons, but that’s about all I have figured out.”
“Well, who knows? Maybe it does have a guide, you just haven’t found it yet.”
“Oh, well, that’s just dandy advice. What am I supposed to do, say ‘Swarm 1, activate guide?’”
Suddenly, a small beeping sound rang through the air, and the nanotechnology comprising Swarm 1 formed a construct similar to a female human.
“Huh. Go figure.”
“What information do you require?” The construct asked.
“Actually, there are a few questions about this that come to mind.” Herculian answered. “What exactly just happened?”
“A physical manifestation of a guide has been constructed based on the user’s mental image of what its appearance would be in the shape of their species.”
“I’m going to pretend I know what you just said, ignore it, and go on record as stating that this is awesome!” Napoleon replied.
“Wait, you can record whatever I say, too?! I can listen to everything I say TWICE!”
“OH DEAR SWEET MERCIFUL GOURD NO.” Herculian shouted, eyes widening.
Napoleon, ignorant as ever, dismissed Herculian’s outburst and started thinking out loud.
“Now let’s see here...” He said, eyes closed in thought. “What should I ask first?”
“Well, you could stay on topic and just ask how to make the dang sweater.” Herculian said, rolling his eyes.
Napoleon jumped into the air, pointing his finger skywards.
“Here we go.” Herculian groaned.
“Halloween is arriving soon, and I need something appropriate for the season!” Napoleon shouted.
He whipped back around to face the Swarm 1 guide construct.
“Okay, here’s the deal; I need to wear something that will scare small children.”
“Excuse me?” The construct asked, with a concerned look on its face.
“He means he needs a Halloween costume.” Herculian said, rubbing his temples in frustration.
“Yeah, what he said!” Napoleon replied.
The construct nodded in response.
“What are the visual parameters you wish the disguise to hold?” It asked.
Napoleon suddenly froze in place. You could practically hear the gears in his head grinding as his face went blank.
“Uh...I...have no idea.”
“Wait, hold on.” Herculian said. “You understood that, but not when it explained what it was?”
Napoleon turned to Herculian with a grim look on his face.
“I am a man of many talents, Herculian.” He said. “Consistency is not one of them.”
He turned back to the guide construct.
“Okay, I have a question. Which part of the galaxy has the most threatening lifeforms?”
“The Anur system is the residence of the lifeforms most intimidating to humans.” The construct replied.
“Well then, off to the Anur system!”
Herculian sighed, pulling himself up off the ground.
“I’m not sure that’s the best idea, Napoleon.” He said. “The residents of the Anur system and humans have a...rocky history, to say the least.”
“What kind of history?” Napoleon asked.
“Well, quite a few centuries ago, some explorers from the Anur system stumbled upon Earth, and tried to make contact with the people living there. Of course, humans back then were...not exactly welcome to newcomers, especially ones so physically similar to their own idea of ‘monsters’. You can sort of guess what happened from there.”
“Murder and pillaging?”
“Murder and pillaging, indeed. After that incident, Earth was used as a sort of dumping ground for the Anur system’s more dangerous criminals, but that stopped a few hundred years back. Unfortunately, residents of the Anur system still view humans as ‘monsters’ in the metaphorical sense, and humans view them as ‘monsters’ in the literal sense. It’s just one big cauldron of screw-up soup.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Well then, off to the Anur system!” Napoleon suddenly shouted.
“I swear, this kid is going to be the death of me...” Herculian muttered.
As the group left the alleyway to board Herculian’s ship, a dark shadow seemed to flicker behind them, as though telling of evil to come.
“Okay, we’re approaching Anur Transyl. Prepare for landing.”
Herculian started steering his ship into the planet’s atmosphere, slowly exiting orbit.
“Okay, here’s the game plan: get in, look around, get out.” Napoleon instructed. “We don’t bother the locals, and everyone comes out happy. We clear?”
“Clear as your brain cavity.” Herculian snarked.
“I choose to accept that as a compliment.”
As the ship started getting below the cloud layer, the stitched-up appearance of the planet below them started becoming clearer.
“Woah...” Napoleon breathed, looking out the window. “What happened here?”
“Nobody knows.” Herculian replied. “The Anur system is fairly cut off from the rest of the galaxy, and it’s unlikely any of the residents themselves even remember.”
“Do you think it’s related to the strange webs connecting the planets?”
Suddenly, a large explosion rang out from the back of the ship. It tilted forward and started rapidly losing altitude.
“What’s going on?!” Napoleon yelled.
“I don’t know!” Herculian shouted back. “Something’s destroyed the engines!”
“What do we do?!”
“I’m deploying the brake chutes right now!”
Herculian desperately started mashing a button on the dashboard. There was a loud clunk and the whoosh of something flying off and away from the ship.
“What was that?!”
“Well, I’m afraid that was the sound of the brake chutes flying away.” Herculian gulped.
“I don’t know!”
“If I may raise a suggestion.” The guide construct piped up.
“Yes! Suggestions! Good!” Herculian yelled. “What is it?!”
“Napoleon may be able to create a metallic slope for us to slide down, lessening the downward force of the impact.”
“Um, are you sure about that?!” Napoleon yelled. “I haven’t made anything nearly that large before!”
“Simply create a small portion of the slope under the ship, and deconstruct it from behind while constructing it in front of the ship. While doing this, slowly angle it in such a way that, by the time we impact the ground, we will be parallel to it, increasing our chance of survival.”
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do!”
Napoleon closed his eyes and concentrated, forming a metal slab under the bottom of the ship. Quickly destroying and recreating it, he slowly began pulling it to an angle, causing the ship to start straightening out, sparks flying from beneath the ship as it scraped along the metal. The ground that had been rushing at them started to slow as the ship became more and more parallel to it, eventually hitting it with a large thud and skidding across the earth, eventually coming to an abrupt stop as it smashed into the side of a house.
A small crowd of Anur Transyl’s residents started forming around the crashed ship. A few minutes of silence passed, as the smoking ship sat in place, eerily quiet. Eventually, a small hissing sound came from the ship, and Napoleon climbed out an emergency hatch in the top of the ship, causing the crowd to recoil in fear. Napoleon clumsily raised an arm into the air in a weak wave.
“Hello, citizens of Anur Transyl!” He said dizzily. “I come in peace, and will not pillage you!”
Suddenly, the metal of the roof in the back of the ship ripped open, a dark skeletal figure cloaked in flames leaping from the hole and landing on the top of the ship.
“People of the Anur system, rejoice!” The figure announced, raising its arms in an imposing fashion, marked by the light of the moon behind it. “For the lord of the Anima Devorantems has returned to claim his rightful place, as ruler of these pathetic worlds!”
There was a gasp from the crowd, which backed away from the ship even farther. Napoleon, who had turned to look at the figure, turned back to the crowd and pointed to it.
“However, I cannot make any such promises about that guy.” He said.
The area had been dragged into complete chaos. People were running as fast as they could, trampling over each other trying to get away from the skeletal figure, which had begun shooting an ominous red stream of fire from its head, consuming the slower ones among them.
Napoleon had ducked back inside the ship, talking to Herculian and the guide construct.
“Please tell me you have, like, an emergency escape pod or something!” He yelled in a panic.
“Well, I do, but the launching mechanism’s shot.” Herculian replied. “I’m presuming the person who messed with it was that weird skeleton guy wearing a pumpkin on his head. Probably the one who took out the engines, too.”
“So you’re saying there’s no way to get this thing off the ground?”
“Actually, I believe there is.” The construct said.
“Really?” Herculian asked, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’d certainly love to hear it.”
“We could use Swarm 1 to reconstruct the damaged parts of the ship until we have access to proper reconstruction materials.”
“But I don’t know how to make any of that stuff.” Napoleon pointed out. “Sword? Sure. Cannon? Why not. Complex ship components? No can do.”
“Do not worry.” The construct replied. “I can handle the design aspects. You simply need to power the nanomachines.”
“Oh, is that so?” Herculian asked. “How do you know how to reconstruct those parts?”
“While we were in flight, I accessed the exterouter of your ship, granting my access to the Extranet. I downloaded copies of the entirety of it’s information.”
“You downloaded a copy of the entire Extranet? There’s no way that’s possible. The Extranet holds enough data to stretch to the end of the universe and back several times. Trying to download that much information would most likely fry your processing units.”
“My circuitry is the result of hundreds of thousands of years of research and development.” The construct snapped. “Do not patronize me.”
Herculian flinched, taken aback by the severity in the construct’s voice. Napoleon, meanwhile, had been staring out the window at all the destruction happening around them.
“You know, on second thought, maybe we should stay.” He said.
“I’d ask if you were insane, but quite frankly, I already know the answer.” Herculian sighed. “Fine, we’ll stay. What do you plan on-”
Herculian stopped talking as he suddenly noticed that Napoleon had already scrambled out of the ship.
“With all....due respect.” The construct said. “Do you really believe letting him interfere is wise?”
“Of course not.” Herculian replied. “But I’m not his baby sitter, and it’s not like I could stop him anyways. All I can really do in these situations is make sure he doesn’t get himself killed.”
“Hey, tall, thin, and ugly!”
The figure momentarily stopped blasting the crowd with flames and turned around to see Napoleon standing a few feet behind him in a fighting stance.
“Well, if I’m perfectly honest, I’m just presuming you’re ugly.” Napoleon said, scratching his head. “You’ve got a pumpkin over your head, so I can’t really be sure.”
The figure laughed.
“Foolish child, do you not know who you are speaking to?” It asked.
“Well, no, actually. I don’t think we’ve met.”
“My name is Lord Kucorbian, supreme ruler and only surviving member of the glorious Anima Devorantems! You stand no chance in a conflict against me!”
“Wait...how can your species be glorious if you’re the only surviving member?”
“I am glorious, fool! The rest of my species was less than satisfactory, however, so they had to be...dealt with.”
“You mean killed?”
“Well, I mean, if you’re going to be direct about it...Never mind that! Fall, child!”
Kucorbian shot out another stream of his red flames at Napoleon, who barely managed to jump out of the way in time. The fire hit the wooden frame of the building behind him, but didn’t leave so much as a scorch mark; instead, the wood seemed to sag a bit. Napoleon laughed.
“Seriously, dude? Your flame can’t even burn wood?”
“My fire does not sear the body, but the spirit! This hellfire will burn away your soul, leaving all your life force and memories to be absorbed into me! None can stand before it!”
“Well then, how about I cut ahead of it?”
Napoleon formed the flaming sword construct, shooting forward at Kucorbian, who dodged to the side and backhanded him, sending him flying into a nearby building. Kucorbian inhaled, preparing to fire the finishing blow, but was interrupted by a huge metal ball flying out of the smoke and hitting him square in the face. He reeled back, more out of shock than pain, and whipped around to find Napoleon, transformed into Iron Wrecker.
“Oh, a shapeshifter, I see.” Kucorbian said. “You know what I love about them?”
He shot forward, punching Napoleon in the chest, cracking his metal shell and sending him flying.
“They’re so amusing when they try to scream with no head.”
Napoleon transformed into Zelusassin and ran at Kucorbian, extending his arms in preparation for a slashing attack, but was interrupted by a stream of Kucorbian’s flames, which he swerved to avoid. Kucorbian took this opportunity to fire a punch, catching Napoleon off guard and hitting him in Zelusassin’s book lungs, sending him flying again. When he hit the ground, the transformation dispersed, leaving him coughing and sputtering on the ground.
“You know, I really have to thank you for the transportation.” Kucorbian said. “Otherwise I would’ve had to hijack a passenger ship, and things would’ve been quite a bit...messier.”
He shot a stream of flames at Napoleon, sure that they would hit their target this time, only for them to be stopped an orange sheet of metal, which was followed by a couple of bullets that just barely missed him, shaving off a bit of his bone. He turned to see who had interfered, only to receive a full-on energy blast, knocking him to the ground and sending him skidding a few feet, momentarily stunning him.
Herculian and the guide construct ran over to Napoleon, who had lost consciousness. Herculian picked him up and slung him over his shoulder.
“Let’s get him out of here.” Herculian instructed the construct. “We can deal with Jack O’ Head over there later.”
“Affirmative.” The construct confirmed.
As the two ran out of the area, Kucorbian slowly picked himself up off the ground, watching them leave. He momentarily flashed an ominous grin.
“He’ll be back.” He muttered to himself. “Souls such as his always return.”
“He is returning to consciousness.”
“Good. Maybe he can tell us what exactly happened back there.”
Napoleon slowly opened his eyes, seeing Herculian and the guide construct leaning over him.
“Ugh....what happened?” He asked, propping himself up on his elbows. “I feel like my lungs were crushed in or something.”
“We were hoping you could tell us.” Herculian said. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
“Well, I was about to slash that pumpkin guy right in the kisser.” Napoleon replied. “I dodged his fire, he punched me in those weird slots on my chest, then everything went blank.”
“It would appear that he delivered a heavy blow to your Reduvidai form’s book gills.” The construct said. “A Reduvidai’s book gills are what allows them to breathe underwater; however, they are extremely fragile, and thus the blow he delivered to them most likely crushed them, explaining the residual effect of your lung’s discomfort.”
“Hold on a second, why did that make him detransform?” Herculian asked. “It’s a damaging blow, yes, but I thought he only detransformed when hit by something that could conceivably shatter something like, say, rock.”
“Incorrect.” The construct replied. “Detransformations occur only when the form has been dealt a fatal blow. It’s likely that the book gill being crushed sent the form into shock, stopping its heart.”
There were a few moments of silence, only interrupted by the distant sounds of chaos in the town they crashed in.
“We need to go back.” Napoleon said, pushing himself to his feet.
“Yeah, sure, but what are we going to do?” Herculian asked. “He can knock back any form you throw at him, and oh, by the way, his fire will literally INCINERATE YOUR SOUL. There might be just a few things we need to consider here.”
“Yeah, I know, but I feel so...helpless just sitting here.” He said, staring to the town in the distance. “I need to something.”
“There is an option.” The guide construct said.
Napoleon turned to face it.
“Creation of an armor able to block the effects of Kucorbian’s fire is possible.” The construct explained. “However, it will drain a lot of energy.”
“Man, who cares?!” Napoleon said excitedly. “Let’s just make this thing!”
“Confirmed.” The construct said, standing up. “Construction of the armor will commence.”
“Hold on second!” Napoleon shouted. “If we’re going to make this, we need to make it with style!”
“What are your suggestions?”
“Oh, isn’t this just beautiful?”
Kucorbian had absorbed the souls of nearly everyone in the town, getting more and more powerful as he’d done so. He took a huge breath, preparing a huge burst of flame to unleash upon the few citizens left, but was interrupted by a pair of shades smacking him upside the face.
He turned to see a figure approaching him from behind, clad in a strange armor. The armor was orange and purple, with a faceplate similar to a hockey mask. The left gauntlet of the armor ended in knife-like claws, and the right hand of the figure was holding a machete that had a good amount of hooks in its design. As the figure got closer, the machete became cloaked in purple flames. Kucorbian grinned menacingly.
“Well, well, it appears I was correct.” He said. “You have returned.”
“Yeah, I’m a bit hard headed.” Napoleon said, brandishing his sword. “Well, harder headed than a guy with a pumpkin for a head, at any rate.”
“And just where are the two who bailed you out last time?”
“They’re working on fixing the ship. I told them I needed to do this alone. Of course, now that I’m properly decked out, it shouldn’t be too hard, now should it?”
Kucorbian responded by shooting a stream of fire at Napoleon, who didn’t so much as flinch. As the fire died down, Napoleon still stood, seemingly unharmed. Kucorbian flinched, confused at the apparent good state of his opponent. He fired another stream of flames, only to reach the same result.
“What?!” He yelled. “What did you do?! Your soul should be mine!”
Napoleon simply grinned.
“This armor just so happens to have a built-in energy disruption field.” He replied. “Now, I don’t know what exactly that is either, but dang if it isn’t effective.”
Kucorbian responded by running up and swinging a fist at Napoleon, who manged to counter the blow with his sword, then twist it and snag Kucorbian’s arm in one of it’s hooks. He quickly whipped around and heaved his sword in an upward arc, letting go of Kucorbian and sending him flying away. Kucorbian managed to twist in midair and land on his feet, rushing Napoleon again. He swung a fist towards Napoleon’s head, but once Napoleon raised his sword to counter, he swiftly kicked Napoleon’s legs out from under him, sending him sprawling onto the ground.
He quickly tried to land a blow on Napoleon’s head, but Napoleon managed to roll out of the way in time and hurl his sunglasses at Kucorbian. The sunglasses split apart and flew towards him at different angles, landing a few good hits on his head and returning to Napoleon, who took the opportunity to stand up. Dazed, Kucorbian tried to rush Napoleon again, but ended up missing and being on the receiving end of a massive punch to his gut for the trouble. Napoleon quickly followed up with a few slashes to his body and hitting him with a flaming upper cut that sent him flying a good few meters away, hitting the ground with a large thud.
Kucorbian slowly picked himself up off the ground while Napoleon maintained a defensive battle stance.
“So, had enough yet?” Napoleon grinned.
“Had enough?” Kucrobian replied, eyes ominously flickering. “I haven’t even truly begun this fight.”
Kucorbian held his arms out in a wide stance. The glow emitting from his head intensified, growing to almost blinding levels. The fire coming from the back of his head flowed to the ground, then started working it’s way back up by wrapping itself around his body, cocooning him in a wreath of flame. The fire grew in size, eventually towering over Napoleon by a good few feet. The fire dispersed, revealing Kucorbian, who had grown in size and had his fire change to a black hue.
“So, what do you think of me now, boy?!” He yelled.
“Honestly?” Napoleon asked. “I think you just gave me a bigger target to hit.”
Napoleon ran at Kucorbian, readying his sword, only for Kucorbian to smash the ground in front of him, tripping him and leaving him wide open to a massive hit to the chest, cracking his armor.
“You humans are so easy to predict, it’s laughable!” Kucorbian scoffed.
“Oh, so you’ve dealt with humans before?” Napoleon spat, picking himself up off the ground. “Apologies for assuming, but you don’t seem like the type of person to branch out your social network.”
“Of course not.” Kucrobian sneered. “They were more along the lines of...business deals. You’d be surprised just how many people are willing to sell their souls for wealth and power. Lucky for me, of course, since the more souls I consume...”
Kucorbian stomped the ground, kicking up a large chunk of stone and chucking it at Napoleon, smashing him into the ground.
“The more powerful I become!”
Napoleon tried to get up, but was interrupted by Kucorbian, who punched him in the head, cracking his faceplate and sending him flying again. Once he crashed into the ground, Kucorbian blasted an enormous stream of fire at him, completely consuming him. Though the energy disruption field initially held, it eventually started to give way under the intense waves of flame, making Napoleon’s armor crack in various places. Napoleon, noticing the bad state of his armor, slowly managed to crawl out of the fire. Kucorbian noticed and stomped over to Napoleon, kicking him up into the air and punching him in the torso, finally completely shattering his armor and sending him flying across the ground, landing with a painful crack.
“So...” Kucorbian said, slowly making his way over to Napoleon, who was struggling to stand up. “Any last words, human?”
“That...” Napoleon wheezed, coughing a bit. “That depends”
“Depends? On what?”
“On whether or not this works!”
Napoleon quickly formed an arm cannon and shot the ground beneath him, shooting up a large plume of dirt, obscuring him from Kucorbian’s vision. There was a white flash from inside the dirt plume, which dropped to the ground, revealing Napoleon, who had transformed into an Anima Devorantems, catching his sunglasses and setting them on his ribs. Kucorbian paused for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“You really believe you can defeat me with one of my own kind?!” He scoffed. “I absorbed the souls of my entire species! What makes you think you can stop me?”
“There’s two advantages I have over every single soul you’ve ever absorbed.” Napoleon replied.
“Oh, is that so?” Kucorbian asked. “And just what would that be?”
“Advantage one: I’m in control of one the most powerful devices ever created.”
Napoleon’s eyes flashed a bright magenta, as an aura of purple energy began to surround him.
“Advantage two:” He continued, his eyes growing brighter. “I am nine hundred percent MAD!”
A huge pulse of purple energy exploded out from his aura, shattering the ground around him and sending a shock wave through the air. He shot forward, propelled by purple flames erupting from his back, smashing Kucorbian in the chest before he had time to react. Napoleon continued the assault relentlessly, raining heavy blows on his opponent.
“ENOUGH OF THIS!” Kucorbian shouted, lashing out with his right arm and managing to grab Napoleon by the throat. “Your soul is MINE!”
He lifted Napoleon into the air and shot another stream of black flames, completely engulfing him. Napoleon’s eyes started flickering out as the purple energy powering him was absorbed by the flames.
“Yes! YES!” Kucorbian yelled. “The amount of power in your soul- it’s unimaginable!”
Suddenly, Kucorbian’s flames flickered a dark purple, and a small black flame appeared on his chest. Taking notice of this, he dropped Napoleon and cut off his flame stream in shock.
“What the- what’s going on?!”
The black fire grew, slowly consuming more and more of his body.
“What did you do to me?!” Kucorbian screamed, desperately trying to fan away the flames. “This isn’t possible!”
The fire suddenly exploded into a full pillar of flame, completely consuming him.
“I’m- I’m consuming my own soul!” He yelled in a panic. “What was that energy? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!”
Napoleon started crawling away from the flame-covered Kucorbian as fast as he could. Kucorbian slowly started limping towards him.
“MAKE IT STOP! I WILL NOT BE CONSUMED BY OWN ENERGIES!” His voice slowly grew weaker and more pained. “MAKE IT STO-”
At that moment, the pillar of fire consuming him grew to an enormous height, eliciting a final scream, then suddenly dissipated, leaving Kucorbian’s empty husk to fall to the ground. Napoleon propped himself up, stunned at what had just happened. Suddenly, a purple and black orb flew out of Kucorbian’s head, slamming Napoleon in the chest and knocking him back to the ground. Herculian and the guide construct, having spotted the huge pillar of fire, ran over to him.
“Hey Napoleon, are you- Woah.” Herculain said, spotting Kucorbian’s body. “Man, what did you do?”
“I have noooo idea.” Napoleon said, dizzily propping himself up. “Dude started sucking my soul, absorbed some of that purple energy stuff that powers Swarm 1, and suddenly BOOM, he ate his own soul. Or something like that.”
“Ooookay, just what the heck does Swarm 1 run on to make that happen?”
“Information unavailable.” The guide construct replied.
“What, seriously?!” Herculian asked incredulously. “You don’t know your own dang power source?!”
“The energy powering me does not consistently match with any recorded data.”
“Well, isn’t that just dandy?”
“Okay, so...what now?” Napoleon asked.
“What do you mean?” Herculian replied. “We get the ship ready to fly, then go home. What else is there to think about?”
“I still don’t know what to do for Halloween.”
Herculian facepalmed so hard, you could practically feel the frustration coming off of him.
“Moron, you live on the streets.” He said through gritted teeth. “Why do you even need a Halloween costume, anyway?”
“Oh, good point.”
There was a moment of silence as Herculian started massaging his temples, trying to calm down. Napoleon turned to the guide construct.
“Man, maybe I should’ve just stuck to asking about the sweater.”