|WARNING: PROFANITY FOLLOWS|
|The following content contains profanity that may not be suitable for readers of all ages. Please proceed with caution.|
|Ben 10: Stupidity Force: End Of Omnivangelion: Future|
|Season 1, Episode 3|
Bellwood Reunion is the third episode of Ben 10: Stupidity Force: End Of Omnivangelion: Future.
Ben goes to a high school reunion party with Gwen and Kevin, as Ben is overshadowed by his former classmate, who he suspects to be a former villain of his.
Ben, lying on his bed, scrolled through social media in boredom. On his TV, Muslim Ben and Crazy Ben, as Smartypants, were playing a game of Sumo Slammers. The game screen showed Muslim Ben losing to Crazy Ben.
(Muslim Ben): CBT, I’m starting to think it’s unfair that you’re using an alien with telepathy to play this game.
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): Hey, don’t hate the game, hate the player!
(Muslim Ben): That’s-that’s what I’m doing. You got the phrase wrong.
Ben continued to scroll through his phone as the two bickered in the background, when a call came through his phone, from Gwen. Ben answered.
(Ben): Hey, Gwen, what’s up?
(Gwen): Hey, Ben. It’s been a while.
Gwen was in an Anodyte dojo, with Anodytes slinging spells all around her.
(Ben): How’s your magic training going?
(Gwen): It’s going pretty good, Ben! I might be promoted to Grand Wizardess soon!
(Ben): Oh, that’s really great!
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): Is that Gwen?
Ben turned to Smartypants and silently nodded.
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): Dude tell her about your breakdown when you found out she was your wife in Family Guy
Ben quietly made a shushing sign at Smartypants, hoping Gwen didn’t hear.
(Gwen): Ben, who is that?
(Ben): Sorry, Gwen. That’s my uh... Plumbers partner... Marty... Pants, yeah. He’s weird. What were you saying?
(Gwen): I was just going to ask, are you going to the high school reunion tonight?
(Ben): What high school reunion?
(Gwen): Didn’t you get the e-mail? There’s a high school reunion tonight at Bellwood High! Everyone’s going to be there, Ben!
(Ben): Since when do you care for high school reunions? And weren’t you studying there for like a year?
(Gwen): Well, yeah, but it’ll be cool to catch up with everyone again for the first time in like 7 years.
(Gwen): Come on, Ben! Me and Kevin are coming into town just for this, it’d be really cool to hang out and see everyone- Emily, Julie, Jonesy. Don’t you want to hang out with them again, like old times?
(Ben): Nah, sorry, I’m gonna pass. I’ve got, um, Plumbers stuff... to do... and stuff. I’ll hang out with you after the reunion, promise.
(Gwen): Aw Ben, I was really hoping you’d come. Everyone I talked to seemed excited to catch up with you. I talked to Julie before, and she said she’d be really happy to meet you again after all this time.
(Ben): Oh, uh, you know what? Actually, I think I can get someone to take my Plumbers stuff off my back. I’ll meet you guys there.
(Gwen): Great! It’s at 8 PM today, Kevin and I will meet you outside! Bye Ben!
(Ben): Bye, Gwen!
Ben hung up, and turned to his alter personalities.
(Ben): Alright fellas, get your best suits on. We’re going to the class of ‘13 Bellwood High Reunion!
(Muslim Ben): Ah, exciting!
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): Okay...
(Ben): Let’s just see if I even have any suits left that the former love of my life didn’t take...
Ben dug through his closet, and found a dark green three-piece suit, and an extra set of formal black trousers. Holding it to his chest, he checked if it still fit him.
(Ben): This’ll work! Here, CBT, try these on.
Ben tossed the pair of trousers at Smartypants, who grabbed it with his telekinesis. Smartypants stared at Ben intently for a moment.
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): Ben? Is perhaps my telepathy fooling me, or are you going to this reunion solely to hit on Julie?
(Ben): What? No... Kinda. Yes.
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): HORNY
Smartypants telekinetically rolled the trousers into a ball and threw them at Ben, hitting him in the stomach.
(Ben): Ouch! What’d you do that for?
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): HORNY
(Ben): Hey, first of all, I haven’t had sex in months, okay? I-I should be permitted to be horny. And-and second, this isn’t necessarily about sex. This is about me trying to form a new relationship with Julie, where now we are both mature adults. And yes, eventually part of that will most likely involve sex, but-
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): HORNY
(Muslim Ben): Overlooking your intent to commit very haram premarital sex, are you sure you want to be hitting on your ex-girlfriend? Nothing good will come out of this.
(Eggy): Bak bak. (Ben, never have sex with an ex. Alas, I have learned this the hard way. Bird Herpes is no joke.)
(Ben): I thought you guys would be more supportive of me trying to move on. Besides, you heard Gwen, she’s excited to see me again.
Muslim Ben sighed as he looked to Ben.
(Muslim Ben): Ben, she meant that in a friendly way. She’s simply excited to have the team reunited again. You’ll just end up hurting both of you.
(Ben): (sigh) Fine, you’re right, Abu-Spanner. It has been years since I last saw her.
(Muslim Ben): I’m glad you’re beginning to understand, Ben.
(Ben): Yeah... thanks for that. I think we should go to the reunion anyway. Getting the gang back together will be really cool, huh.
(Muslim Ben): Sure, habibi. We will come with you then.
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): ...hmm.
Smartypants stared at Ben again, emitting pulsewaves from his cranium.
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): Wait a second... he’s lying, Abu-Spanner! I read his mind! He’s still horny!
(Muslim Ben): Ben?
(Ben): Yup, I am fucking desperate and you two have no choice here. Let’s get ready to roll, boys!
(Muslim Ben): Ben, this will be a mistake!
(Ben): Ohohoho, I know!
(Crazy Ben/Smartypants): HORNY
Ultimate Fasttrack stopped his dash in front of the school steps, and reverted to his human form, dressed in his dark green tux. Muslim Ben came out from behind, dressed in the same dark green tuxedo. Ben snapped a finger gun at him.
(Ben): Looking sharp, Abu-Spanner!
(Muslim Ben): Ben, you know I still don’t approve of this.
(Ben): Come on, it'll still be fun.
(Muslim Ben): Look, Ben, I would gladly abandon you to let you feel the consequences of your actions. But the truth is, I want to talk to Kevin again.
(Ben): Kevin? What for?
(Muslim Ben): I miss him. He was the one who converted me to Islam. In the alternate timeline, obviously, but still. I won't take over you, Ben. Just give me some time with him alone and I'll stay out of your plans, as haram as they are, for the rest of the night.
(Ben): Oh. Sure, man. Don't worry about it.
Crazy Ben came from the side of Ben, stretching and yawning, in the same green tux.
(Crazy Ben): Hey (yawn) wazzup? Just came back from my nap.
(Ben): CBT! Looking fresh as well!
(Crazy Ben): Ye. Wait. Where is Eggy doe
(Ben): Don't worry about Eggy, I left him with the best babysitter in town.
Cut to Eggy casually sitting in Max's living room on his sofa. Suddenly the door was burst open with a kick. Max entered the living room, smoking a thick brown Cuban cigar, with two seductively dressed Splixson girls underneath his arms. His shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his hairy chest.
(Max): And that's why they used to call me the Sex King. Not that I'm any less of one now, if you know what I mean.
(Splixson): Oh, Max...
The two Splixsons giggled at each other.
(Max): Oh, hey there sport. You wanna watch some TV?
(Eggy): Bag... Ahk?
Max picked up the remote from the sofa, and turned on the TV, changing the channels.
(Max): You like Paw Patrol right?
Max set the channel and put the remote back on the couch.
(Max): Here you go. Anyway, me and these gorgeous ladies are going upstairs for a lovely night together. You'll be fine. Just remember - if the bedroom's a-rockin', don't come a knockin'!
The two Splixsons burst into laughter.
(Splixson): Oh Max!
As the two followed Max upstairs, he gave them both a lustful look.
(Max): You girls ready for some Max In, Max Out?
The girls laughed, as they began duplicating exponentially under his arms on the way up to the bedroom.
The Bens continued to loiter outside the entrance, waiting. Suddenly, a pink explosion appeared in front of them, teleporting in Gwen and Kevin, both in their twenties as well.
(Gwen): Hey, dweeb.
Gwen hugged Ben.
(Kevin): Ben Tennyson. It's been a while.
Kevin reached out his hand to shake Ben's.
(Ben): Kevin Levin. Come here.
Ben hugged Kevin.
(Ben): It really has been a while, huh. So what have you two been up to?
(Kevin): Y'know, married life, car mechanic stuff. Gwen's about to become a wizard boss. Isn’t that right, babe?
(Gwen): A Grand Wizardess. And yes, I told Ben that already.
(Kevin): Oh. Yeah, right. So, you know. Other than that, things have been normal, I guess. Car mechanic stuff. Pretty boring. How have things been with you?
(Ben): Well, um, normal Plumbers things. And my divorce is still going on, which is fun.
(Kevin): Oh. Your divorce. Sorry for asking. Life sucks, huh.
(Ben): It’s fine, Kevin.
(Kevin): Okay. Should we go in?
(Gwen): You can go in, Kevin. Let me have a word with Ben, first. Tennyson family things, you know how it is.
(Kevin): Sure, babe.
Kevin let go of Gwen’s hand and walked into the reunion, leaving Gwen and Ben alone, along with Ben’s alters sitting on the stairs awkwardly.
(Crazy Ben): Dude tell her about how you were her grandpa in Rick and Morty that was way less cousincesty than the one where you married her
Ben signaled CBT to zip it with his fingers, to Gwen’s brief confusion.
(Ben): Is Kevin... okay? He seems a little off.
(Gwen): Yeah... listen, he’s been a little depressed lately, with his dead-end mechanic job and everything, and my promotion coming in on top of all that. Just... if he tries to have one drink too many, just stop him, okay? I don’t want him embarrassing himself.
(Ben): I’ll keep an eye on him, Gwen, don’t worry.
(Gwen): Thanks, Ben. Are you going to come in?
(Ben): Yeah, let me make a, uh, phone call, okay?
(Gwen): Alright, I’ll just join Kevin then.
Gwen walked into the reunion as well, as Ben turned to speak with his alters.
(Ben): CBT, I know you mean well, just don’t - you know, say that kind of stuff when I’m talking to people, okay? I don’t know if I can even respond to you without people noticing.
(Crazy Ben): k (nodding)
(Muslim Ben): Ben, are you going to tell them about... us?
(Ben): Uh, well, not right now at least. You know... it’s a really long story. I don’t want to freak them out.
(Muslim Ben): Fine... just tell Kevin about me before I get a chance to speak with him, okay? His situation seems fairly bleak already. I don’t want to see him get worse.
(Ben): Alright. I’ll talk to him. Come on, let’s go in.
Ben went into the building, as his two alters looked at him from behind, disgruntled.
Inside, he instantly noticed an unfamiliar classmate, who was telling a story around many other former students in a circle.
(Classmate): So, I tell DJ Khaled, “Don’t go on that jet ski, man! You’re gonna end up stranded at sea!”. But DJ Khaled, man. You tell him something, he does the exact opposite thing! And he ends up stranded at sea for like 10 hours!
The group around him laughed, as Ben went by Gwen’s side, who was smiling as she listened to his story.
(Ben): Ugh, who’s that guy?
(Gwen): Oh, don’t you remember him? Bobby J. from English? He was a really funny guy.
(Gwen): You weren’t at school a lot, huh?
(Ben): No, Gwen, not really. I was too busy saving the universe.
(Gwen): Oh, Ben. So humble.
(Ben): So what’s up with this Bobby guy?
(Gwen): Turns out Bobby is now a big-name music producer in Hollywood, working with all these huge celebrities. From what I understand he’s been impressing his former classmates with these celebrity stories.
(Ben): Well, I didn’t see him saving the universe countless times.
(Gwen): Ben, are you jealous?
(Ben): No, why would I be jealous of someone who has to work around all these attention-seeking drug addicted divas 24/7? I actually do important stuff. Like save the universe, for instance.
(Gwen): Oh, you’re super jealous, then.
(Ben): Pshtt. No.
Suddenly, Kevin came from behind them, and slapped Gwen’s ass.
(Kevin): One for my wife...
Kevin slapped Ben’s ass.
(Kevin): And one for the love of my life! That’s you, homie! Eyooo!
Ben stared in confusion, and Gwen stared in disappointment.
(Gwen): Well Ben, meet One Drink Kevin.
(Ben): One Drink Kevin? That’s original.
(Gwen): Yeah... he gets weirder with every shot he takes. Right now One Drink Kevin is a douchebag frat-boy... it gets worse from there. You don’t want to meet Six Drink Kevin, trust me.
(Kevin): Oh bro, you gotta meet Six Drink Kevin. He is SICK, bro. The guy can fucking CHUG. This one time, bro. Six Drink Kevin got so fucking wasted.
(Gwen): Yeah, see what I mean?
(Kevin): Gwen, brah. You down for some unwanted sexual advances?
(Gwen): That sounds nice honey, but maybe later.
(Jonesy): Ben? Gwen?
Ben and Gwen turned back to see an adult Jonesy.
(Ben): Oh, hi, Jonesy.
(Jonesy): Remember me? We fought Zs'Skayr, like once.
(Ben): Oh yeah, I remember that.
Meanwhile, Muslim Ben and Crazy Ben loitered around the snack table. Crazy Ben was slowly stealing pieces of melon into his jacket pockets. Muslim Ben glared at a few adults drinking.
(Muslim Ben): So many people at the bar for the free alcohol, but no one seems to set a bar for themselves to free themselves from alcohol...
(Crazy Ben): We do live in a society...
(Muslim Ben): Ben can be so stubborn sometimes. What is so special about the ex-girlfriend? I cannot grasp this.
(Crazy Ben): Man, your future is set up for you in the future. You don’t have to worry about shit like that. Ben doesn’t have that stability.
(Muslim Ben): Still... he can marry any girl he wants. Why chase this one?
(Crazy Ben): Eh. I think on some level he's trying to get her to push him away to get her off his mind. Let him run his course.
(Muslim Ben): I understand your point, but I am still concerned. Ugh, CBT, why aren't you always this eloquent?
(Crazy Ben): Idk I like memes lol
Meanwhile, the trio were still chatting with Jonesy, Ben seeming obviously disinterested.
(Jonesy): Law school was cool, but not as cool as the time we fought Zs'Skayr, am I right? (laughs) Life slowly gets worse and worse as you grow up, it’s all downhill from high school.
(Ben): Uhuh. Yeah.
Ben suddenly noticed Julie, standing alone near a food table.
(Ben): Excuse me for a minute.
Ben left the circle and went to talk to Julie.
(Ben): Julie! Hey!
(Julie): Hi Ben!
The two hugged.
(Ben): Wow, you look great! Hey, where’s Ship? I missed the little guy!
(Julie): Oh, I left him with a babysitter tonight. Heard he’s the best in town.
Cut to earlier in the afternoon, in Julie’s house, Max sitting on the couch, smoking a Cuban cigar with Ship sitting next to him.
(Max): You can transform into anything, right?
Max let out a puff of smoke from his mouth.
(Max): Shit, man. I know what we’re doing tonight.
(Ben): So what have you been up to?
(Julie): Well, I’m Olympian tennis athlete now!
(Ben): Wow, no shit! That’s awesome!
Julie twirled her hair.
(Julie): So... anyway, what’s up with you? Besides, the uhm, divorce. I heard about that from Gwen, sorry about... the whole thing.
(Ben): Oh, don’t worry about that, I’m moving on. I’m doing pretty good now. Still doing a lot of good work at the Plumbers so... there’s that. Took down Psyphon’s sex robot last week, that was pretty awesome.
(Julie): Psyphon’s sex robot, what? You have got to be shitting me!
(Ben): I wish I was joking. You don’t want to know what that thing smelled like on the inside, trust me.
(Julie): Oh, that sounds terrible. Why would Psyphon even have a sex robot?
(Ben): You don’t want to know that either, trust me. Let’s just say it’s between Psyphon and his wife. And... Vilgax.
(Julie): (laughs) Oh, man, you have got to tell this to my boyfriend. He loves these kinds of stories.
(Ben): Your... boyfriend?
(Julie): Here he is right now! Hey, baby!
Bobby, Ben’s successful classmate from earlier, came up to Julie’s side. A Caucasian man, Bobby was average height, with long blonde hair in a ponytail and a brown trimmed beard.
(Bobby): Hey, baby, what’s up?
(Julie): Do you remember Ben Tennyson?
(Bobby): Oh shit, of course I do! Ben 10 in the flesh! It’s great meeting you again, man. Remember me? Bobby Jiebers, we did English together? The Canadian transfer student?
(Ben): Not... not really, no.
(Julie): Really, Ben? We used to call him “Bustin’” Jiebers cause he used to “bust” all these hilarious jokes and sometimes dance moves. Everyone in the school knew him!
(Ben): Bustin’... Jiebers? The... Canadian transfer student?
Ben’s eyes widened, as something clicked in his head.
(Ben): No, no, still don’t think so. I was always off saving the universe, you know. Uh. Yeah.
(Julie): Really, Ben? Man, you really didn’t pay attention in school, huh.
(Bobby): Oh, come on, baby, give him a break. It’s been years since 2012. Besides, Ben’s a busy guy. Didn’t you save the universe a few times at school?
(Ben): More... more than a few times... yeah. So what-what do you do in life, Bie-Bobby?
(Bobby): Oh, I’m a music producer in LA now. Made some sick Billboard number 1 hits, got lucky to have worked with some of the greats, man. Ed Sheeran, Ariana Grande... Selena Gomez...
Bobby suddenly went sad.
(Bobby): Sorry... working with Selena Gomez was a tough time in my life.
(Julie): You don’t have to worry about her anymore, baby...
(Bobby): Sorry... I thought she’d always be mine... So anyway, how’s saving the universe going, Ben?
(Ben): Pretty... pretty good?
(Julie): Ben fought Psyphon’s sex robot! Ben, come on, tell him!
(Bobby): Oh, wow! You have got to tell me everything!
(Ben): It’s kind of a long story, maybe some other time... and I kinda have to-
(Bobby): Oh, I’d love to hear it later then! An actual story from Ben 10 himself! Speaking of sex robots-
Bobby gave Julie a sensual look, to Ben’s disgust.
(Bobby): -where’s your plus one for the evening, Ben? You don’t want to tell me the great Ben 10 is single!
(Julie): (quietly) Bobby, I thought I told you about his divorce...
(Bobby): Oh, sorry, I forgot. Listen to me Ben- chin up, you can get through this. I believe in you. You’re Ben fucking 10. You’ll move on through this. As I told my good friend DJ Snake once: Go through the darkest of days, heaven’s a heartbreak away. Don’t you give up, Ben, no, no, no.
Annoyed by the belittling talk, Ben came up with something.
(Ben): Actually, I do have a plus one for tonight. She just went, uh, to the bathroom, right now. You know what, I’ll go get her-
(Gwen): Go get who, Ben?
Gwen and Kevin joined in the conversation, red cups in their hands.
(Ben): My... girlfriend?
(Kevin): WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS CHALLENGER ENTERING THE RING, BROTHER? IS HE LOOKING FOR A SMACKDOWN?
(Julie): Gwen! Kevin?
(Gwen): Yeah... this is Two Drink Kevin. He acts like a WWE wrestler...
(Kevin): TWO DRINK KEVIN IS READY TO RUMBLE CUM IN MY ASS BROTHER OOOOOOH YEAH
(Bobby): Hi, Bobby Jiebers. You must be Gwen Tennyson and Kevin Levin. I remember you two fighting alongside Ben!
(Gwen): Nice to meet you again, Bobby.
Bobby shook Gwen’s hand, and was about to shake Kevin’s hand, who abruptly pulled it back.
(Kevin): TWO DRINK KEVIN DON’T TRUST THAT EASILY BROTHER! TO EARN MY RESPECT YOU’VE GOT TO PROVE YOURSELF FIRST IN THE SQUARED CIRCLE
(Gwen): (suspectingly) So, Ben? Who is this mystery girlfriend you conveniently haven’t mentioned until now?
(Ben): Uh, well, like I told Bobby and Julie before, she just went to the bathroom, she probably got lost or something on the way back, so... if you’ll excuse me, I will go get her. Yeah.
Ben turned around and left the group, as Gwen eyed him suspiciously.
(Gwen): Hrm. So, Bobby, I hear you’re in the music industry?
Ben rushed across the snack table, to where Muslim Ben was still complaining to Crazy Ben, while the latter was still hoarding melon pieces in his jacket pocket.
(Ben): Emergency Ben meeting. Bathroom. Now.
Ben continued walking quickly towards the school bathrooms, followed by Crazy Ben and Muslim Ben. He walked into a stall, waited for both of them to come inside, and sat on the closed toilet seat, speaking to his alters.
(Muslim Ben): What is it now, Ben?
(Ben): Did you-did you guys hear our conversation? Bobby Jiebers is- He’s fucking Justin Bieber disguised as Julie's boyfriend!
(Muslim Ben): What?
(Ben) His nickname is Bustin’ Jiebers for starters, he’s Canadian, he constantly quotes Justin Bieber lyrics, and he just- looks like him with a beard on, okay? CBT, I thought you said he isn't going to show up in this timeline!
(Crazy Ben): Hey, I said he’s probably not going to show up. Idk
(Muslim Ben): Why does everyone remember going to school with him then? Why does no one else find this suspicious?
(Ben): Because he probably did some memory magic shit, or something, Julie would never go out with this guy willingly! He could do that, right, CBT?
(Crazy Ben): I think he had teenagerkinesis? I don’t remember a lot from 2011. I sniffed way too much glue in the early 2010s, man.
(Ben): Teenagerkinesis? Hmm, maybe it improves to some kind of adult-kinesis with age. CBT, do you remember what we fought about back then?
(Ben): Puberty? But he’s already a successful artist despite his adult voice... whatever his plans are with the unobtainium, we need to stop him, now. He wouldn’t infiltrate the reunion for nothing.
(Muslim Ben): Alright, sure. What’s our plan?
(Ben): Okay, first of all, I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.
(Muslim Ben): What? Why?
(Ben): I may have told everyone that I have a girlfriend and that I just went to get her to introduce her to the gang...
(Muslim Ben): (sigh) Why would you do that, Ben?
(Ben): Because I panicked, okay? Bieber was being all condescending to me in front of Julie, and then Gwen and Kevin came in, you know.
(Muslim Ben): I can’t believe you, Ben. Is this all still about Julie?
(Ben): It's not about Julie! Look, we can wring out more information out of him as a couple-
(Muslim Ben): Ben, I am done with your Haram shenanigans. I’m going to speak with Kevin before he embarrasses himself even more.
(Ben): This is evil Justin Bieber we’re talking about, man. You guys can talk with him after we stop Bieber, just, c’mon.
(Muslim Ben): If he attacks you, then I will be there to support you in the fight. Until then, I have a friend who needs my help even more. Give me your hand.
(Ben): (whispering) Don’t make me rely on him, dude. You know how he is.
(Muslim Ben): He’s right here, he can hear you, Ben. And he’s saved your butt a thousand times before, you can trust him for once. Now give me your hand.
(Ben): Why do you need my hand?
Muslim Ben sighed and grabbed Ben’s hand and placed it on his Omnitrix, which glowed yellow in response to his fingertips. Muslim Ben selected a hologram that looked like Ben and transformed.
(Muslim Ben/BenBen): BENBEN!
BenBen looked like Ben Prime, but with an Omnitrix symbol on his chest. Muslim Ben hid it with his jacket, and put his taqiyah in his jacket pocket.
(Muslim Ben/BenBen): If anything happens, call me.
BenBen left through the stall door, slowly walking outside.
(Ben): Abu-Spanner, come on, dude!
BenBen didn't pay attention to Ben, and left through the bathroom door.
(Ben): Shit! Asshole.
From outside, he could hear Two Drink Kevin's booming macho voice.
(Kevin): BEN TENNYSON HAS RETURNED FOR ANOTHER ROUND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
(Ben): Guess it's just you and me, CBT. You're up to pretending to be my girlfriend, right?
(Crazy Ben): Yeah. Unless you don’t trust me or anything.
(Ben): Yeah sure, I trust you. Just try not to embarrass me.
(Crazy Ben): (sigh) Perhaps.
(Ben): Alright, let's pick your disguise, first. We need a feminine alien because I am 100% straight yes I am yes I am and I need my friends to know that
(Crazy Ben): Uhhh how about Pesky Dust? Loli pixie GF bro.
(Ben): Nah, that's borderline pedophilia. Umm...
(Crazy Ben): Ooh, I got it!
Crazy Ben slapped his Omnitrix and transformed into Moustachio. Twirling his moustache hair into a feminine braid with one side of his moustache, he created a knife out of moustache hair on the other, cutting off the braid into a wig. Moustachio then placed the makeshift wig on his head, readying to press his Omnitrix symbol to transform.
(Crazy Ben/Moustachio): What do you think about-
Moustachio pressed down and transformed.
(Crazy Ben/BenPeter): PETERINA!
Crazy Ben transformed into BenPeter with his moustache woven wig on his head, still in his tuxedo.
(Ben): No, dude, we're not using BenPeter.
(Crazy Ben/BenPeter): (sniff) Nobody love BenPeter...
(Ben): How about, uh-
Ben scrolled through his holograms on his Omnitrix, until he found the one he liked.
(Ben): Got it.
Ben pushed on BenPeter's Omnitrix symbol, transforming him into The Most Useless Alien Of All Time, with his tux and his wig still on. Ben looked at TMUAOAT up to down.
(Ben): Alright, TMUAOAT could work.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Hmm.
TMUAOAT checked himself in the bathroom mirror.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Damn, I look pretty good! Call me The Hottest Girlfriend Of All Time. THGOAT? Nah, feels weird . Maybe just The Hottest Of all Time? Shorten it to THO-
(Ben): No, you’re, um, Tammy Oats. You’re a- janitor at the Plumbers HQ. That’s where we met. We’ve been dating for the last two months and you’ve already moved into my place. Grew up on Earth in Undertown, no plans for the future beyond janitor work. Accentuate the janitor part, I need them thinking I’m altruistic for dating an alien one.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): That’s not very altruistic of you to say.
(Ben): (realizing what he said) You’re right. Man, I have gotten way too used to being a celebrity. Forget that, just be my wingman and talk me up, dude, okay?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Uhhhhh ok
(Ben): Come on, let's roll.
Ben and TMUAOAT straightened their tux jackets and headed out of the bathroom in slow motion back to the reunion, synced with the music.
- Ben Tennyson
- Gwen Tennyson
- Kevin Levin
- Julie Yamamoto
- Max Tennyson
- Bobby Jiebers (probably?)
- Ultimate Fasttrack (BTSFEOOF debut)
By Crazy Ben
- Smartypants (BTSFEOOF debut)
- The Most Useless Alien Of All Time (BTSFEOOF debut)
By Muslim Ben
- BenBen (Ben Prime) (debut)
Ben and The Most Useless Alien Of All Time walked back to the group, which consisted of Julie, Bobby, and Gwen.
(Ben): Hey guys, meet my girlfriend, Tammy Oats. Tammy, meet Julie, Bobby, and my cousin Gwen.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Ohayo guys (blushes)
(Julie): Hi Tammy!
(Bobby): What’s up, Tammy?
Gwen eyed Tammy suspiciously.
(Gwen): Nice to meet you, Tammy. You’re back quickly, Ben. Where did you take my husband, by the way? After your very sudden return from trying to find your new girlfriend.
(Ben): Oh, um, we ran into uhh Cash and JT on the way back and he wanted to stay and chat with them. So, uh, he’s probably still there?
(Gwen): Uhuh. Well, I gotta go find my husband before he goes Three Drink Kevin and starts recruiting people to join the Marines. We’ll meet up at the award ceremony, okay?
Gwen left the group in search of her husband.
(Bobby): So, Ben, how did you two meet?
(Ben): Standard love story really. I was hurrying on the way to a mission when I bumped into Tammy in Plumbers HQ hallways on her way back from work, and all the books she was carrying scattered across the ground. When I helped her to pick them up I looked into her eyes, and I knew it was love at first sight.
Ben hugged TMUAOAT lovingly.
(Bobby): Aw, that’s so romantic. What do you do at Plumbers HQ, Tammy?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): I’m a janitor. It’s very sugoi!
Bobby furrowed his brow.
(Bobby): What kind of books were you carrying on your way back from work?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Books about... alien... toilets? They’re very complicated... to... uh... clean...
(Ben): (fake laughs) Yeah, alien toilet books. S-So how did you and Julie meet?
(Julie): We met at one of Bobby’s clients concerts I went to. I hung out for a bit with mutual friends of ours, and then I saw his face, and I was a Belieber.
(Bobby): Did you get it Ben? It’s like a portmanteau of Believer and my last name. We came up with that, yeah.
Ben gritted his teeth as he tried to hide his annoyance.
(Ben): Wow, that’s really cool! Hey, Bobby, as someone in the music industry, have you ever worked with Justin Bieber? He’s a favorite artist of mine!
Bobby got sweaty and stressed.
(Bobby): Oh, uh, w-we worked together a few times. H-He’s a nice guy.
(Ben): That’s cool. Hey, Julie, have you ever seen both Justin and Bobby in the same room?
(Julie): Oh, no, Bobby usually doesn’t let me into the recording sessions. He likes to keep the songs a surprise.
(Bobby): You have to take song production, as they say in Spanish, “despacito”. Slowly, no sneak peaks! But enough about me, how about you, Tammy? How’s it like being a janitor?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Oh, it’s very daijobu... Ben-senpai is very altruistic for dating me...
(Bobby): Appreciate an altruistic man, Tammy. Not a lot of them in the industry.
(Julie): Besides you, baby.
(Bobby): Oh, baby, baby.
Bobby and Julie nuzzled and kissed, to Ben’s jealousy.
(Ben): Ah, yes, me and Tammy love each other very much as well, don’t we?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Yes, I love you too, Ben! You are so kawaii, my heart goes doki-doki when I see you, desu!
Ben puckered his lips and leaned into to kiss TMUAOAT on the cheek, but instead whispered in his ear.
(Ben): (whispers) Dude, why are you talking like this?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): (whispering) Sorry, like, everything I know about female behavior comes from anime, man.
(Ben): (whispering) Cool it with this shit, okay?
(Bobby): Aw, you two are cute! Do you take her on your missions as well?
(Ben): Remember that sex robot I told you about before? We fought that one together.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Yes, it was very kow- scary, that fight...
(Bobby): Wow, no shit!
TMUAOAT squinted as he noticed a familiar mobile game on one of the former students’ phones. TMUAOAT eyes widened as he realized what was going to happen very soon.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): (under his breath) Who even still plays...
TMUAOAT’s prediction circle began to glow red, just before a pomegranate was set to appear in Fruit Ninja. Julie gasped.
(Julie): Tammy, are you okay? Your circle has gone red!
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Yeah, I-
(Ben): Oh yeah, this happens sometimes. Tammy gets these short bursts of sickness. You two should probably go to the ladies room to check it out.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Y-Yeah, I’m not feeling very well, we should probably go get it checked. (cough) Itai...
(Julie): Oh, you poor thing!
Julie lead TMUAOAT by the hand as they went to the ladies room, leaving Ben with Bobby.
(Bobby): Ben, I have got to say, you are one lucky man.
Ben changed his tone all of a sudden.
(Ben): Alright, the jig is up, Justin Bieber! I’m on to you!
(Bobby): What Do You Mean, Ben?
(Ben): I know you’re evil Justin Bieber in disguise, don’t even try denying it! Your names, your constant song references, it’s you! I’m not letting you get that unobtainium!
(Bobby): Those can all be easily explained coincidences, have you ever thought I pick up these sentences subconsciously from my day to day life?
(Ben): It’s more than that, I know what you’re capable of, Bieber!
Julie came back, quicker than expected, holding hands with TMUAOAT, his circle gone back to green.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Tadaima! False alarm, guys.
(Julie): As Tammy would say, everything is daijobu!
(Bobby): Julie, am I secretly evil Justin Bieber in disguise?
(Julie): Not that I know of, baby.
(Bobby): Weird, because Ben seems to be convinced that I am.
(Ben): Alright, Julie, I-I can explain, Evil Justin Bieber has manipulated everyone’s memory through his adultikinesis powers to make people think he went to school with us, and you most of all to make you think your relationship was real.
(Julie): “Evil Justin Bieber”? Really, Ben? Justin Bieber is a married man. I thought Justin Bieber hate died in 2012. Or are you that stuck in the past?
(Ben): He’s not our Justin Bieber! He’s from another timeline where he-(pause) it’s a lot to explain right now, but please, trust me on this!
(Julie): And why would “Evil Justin Bieber” do all of that, then?
(Ben): To get to me! And the unobtainium caches under the school, but I-I’m pretty sure he’s playing with me through you-
(Julie): Unbelievable. I thought you’ve moved on after all these years, but here you are, bringing up conspiracy theories about my boyfriend. If it wasn’t obvious, Ben, I would have known if my boyfriend of 2 years was secretly Justin Bieber. Bobby was right, as much has he was excited to meet you, I shouldn’t have talked to Gwen about wanting to reconnect with you again.
(Ben): Wait, Julie, I-I can prove it, I have this alien, Smartypants, he can read minds-
(Ben): No, Ben. You’ve done enough. Tammy, I’m sorry you had to see this. Let’s go, Bobby. We’re late for the awards ceremony.
(Bobby): It was nice meeting you, Tammy.
Julie and Bobby left Ben and TMUAOAT to stand awkwardly alone.
(Ben): Look what you did, man! We could have had him!
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Me? They loved me, what are you talking about?
(Ben): You scared them away with your anime shit! I don’t even know if I can even be mad at you, being crazy or-or whatever you are!
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): I’m not “crazy”, Ben, I’m eccentric and immature. But even with that, they really liked me!
(Ben): Well, couldn’t you have been a bit less eccentric and immature this one time?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): You know what, Ben? You’re an asshole. I’m gonna go talk to Eggy.
TMUAOAT left Ben, as he walked into one of the school building’s hallways.
Ben looked around the hall, noticing Gwen floating with her eyes glowing purple, making some keys float in mid-air. He went up to her to tap on her shoulder.
(Ben): Uh, Gwen? What are you doing?
Gwen woke from her trance and noticed Ben.
(Gwen): Oh, I’m still looking for Kevin. I cast a tracking spell to try and find him. Where’s Tammy?
(Ben): We got in a fight.
(Gwen): Aw. I’m sorry Ben.
(Ben): It’s fine, Gwen. It was my fault anyway.
Gwen and Ben looked as Kevin approached them, wearing a weird hat on his head.
(Ben): Hey, here’s Kevin.
(Kevin): Assalamu Alaikum, my family.
(Ben): Wailakum Assalam.
(Gwen): (nervous laugh) Are you on Six Drink Kevin already?
(Kevin): No, Gwen, from now on, I am No Drink Kevin. I have found my true comfort in Islam.
(Gwen): (awkward laugh) Is this a joke?
(Kevin): No, Gwen. Abu-Spanner showed me the truth in Islam. Lo, I am now a converted Muslim, and behold, my depression and alcoholic tendencies are no more.
(Gwen): Are you- are you serious? You were gone for like 20 minutes! Who the hell is Abu-Spanner?
(Kevin): Ben’s alternate personality who is also a converted Muslim. Did he not tell you this?
(Gwen): Ben, would you mind explaining to me why my husband is a Muslim now?
(Ben): It’s a long story, but uh, yeah, that’s my alternate personality from another timeline where I converted to Islam. Where is Abu-Spanner now, anyway?
(Kevin): He went to speak with CBD... I believe his name was? Your other alter.
(Gwen): There’s another one?
(Ben): Well, yeah...
(Gwen): God, is that why you were acting weird all night? I knew something was off when I sensed three different mana auras around you before. Was Tammy one of them?
(Ben): Uh, yes... well... it’s a very long story...
(Gwen): Why’d you lie about her Ben? What the hell is going on?
(Ben): Like I said, it’s a lot to explain, I don’t know if I have time to explain it now...
Gwen looked down at her watch.
(Gwen): You’re damn right about that at least. We’re late for the awards ceremony. Come on, Kevin. Ben, your explanation better be worth it.
Gwen and Kevin left for the awards ceremony, leaving Ben alone once again.
(Ben): (sigh) Ugh.
Ben slowly walked towards the awards ceremony, held in the school’s auditorium.
Entering the auditorium, he noticed Bobby and Julie on the stage, holding a crude plastic statue with a plaque. Bobby shook the hostess’ hand and went up to the microphone.
(Bobby): Thank you, Bellwood High, for the “Cutest Couple Award”, along with awarding me literally every single other award in the ceremony. Now, this is the last award in the ceremony, am I correct?
The hostess nodded.
(Bobby): Well then, I would like to use this opportunity to dedicate something to someone very special to me.
Bobby got down on one knee, in front of Julie, and pulled out a ring box from his jacket. Julie realized what was going on, and held her hands to her face, tears going down her cheeks.
(Julie): Oh, Bobby.
(Bobby): You’re the one, yeah.
(Julie): Yes! Yes! A million times yes!
Julie put the wedding ring on her finger, and rushed to hug Bobby on stage, both of them tearing up from happiness. Ben was beyond annoyed, and went closer to the stage.
(Ben): (yelling) Are you serious? Now you’re marrying him? Bobby is VERY CLEARLY JUSTIN BIEBER, HOW AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?
The rest of the crowd began booing Ben. Julie and Bobby were shocked.
(Julie): Really, Ben? You’re still not over this?
(Ben): Yes, Julie, open your eyes!
Bobby went to the edge of the stage, speaking directly to Ben.
(Bobby): You know, Ben. When your true identity was discovered, I was excited that we went to the same school, you were my hero, man. My mother was skeptical and never trusted you, and I always tried to defend you and tell her the truth about what you’re doing. But she was right all along. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I should have believed her. My momma don’t like you, and she likes everyone.
(Ben): Oh come on!
Ben rolled his eyes, as the boos around him grew louder. Ben angrily walked away from the auditorium, back to the main gathering area, where he received more stares from people in the main lobby.
(Ben): What are you looking at?
He searched for a solitary place, walking into the school’s basketball court, where he was finally left alone. From behind him, he could hear the doors opening and closing.
(Ben): What now?
(Bobby): Is it too late now to say sorry?
Bobby came into the room, following Ben.
(Ben): Cut it with the song references, will you? What do you want?
(Bobby): Ben, I just came to say I’m sorry for my behavior. It was rude and uncalled for.
(Ben): Well, you got what you wanted, didn’t you? You got me jealous enough over my ex-girlfriend to push everyone away. I don’t know if it was part of your plan, but it all worked out.
Ben sat down on one of the benches, Bobby still behind him.
(Bobby): I didn’t mean to, Ben. Please, believe me.
(Ben): Maybe you really aren’t Justin Bieber, huh. I guess these types of coincidences do happen. Sorry for thinking you’re Evil Justin Bieber, Bobby. You’re not a bad guy.
(Bobby): That’s an understandable reaction, Ben. (chuckles) Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m Evil Justin Bieber myself.
Ben turned towards Bobby, and put his hand on his shoulder.
(Ben): Go on, man. Go back to your fiancee. I’m sure she misses you already. (noticing) Huh?
Ben noticed Bobby drawing a curved blade from a sheath hidden in his jeans. Ben jumped backwards, before Bobby sliced the empty air in front of him.
(Ben): What the fuck? Who are you?
Bobby began laughing in a thick Asian accent.
(Bobby): Oh, Tennyson. You were so close to figuring it out. But I am ten times the man Justin Bieber is. I am-
Bobby ripped off his face mask, pulling off the rest of his body as well, revealing a well armored Mongolian warrior riding on a horse, wielding a massive spear, summoning hundreds of Mongol warriors behind him now populating the gym.
(Bobby): GENGHIS KHAN!
(Mongol Army): Hoo hah!
The Mongol Army banged on their shields with their swords.
(Ben): Wait, what? Why were you pretending to be a guy pretending to be Justin Bieber?
(Genghis Khan): To explain this to you, first, let me elucidate you on my last few years before our encounter. Before you came, Ben, I was successfully masquerading as a Cartoon Network exec for years. When we fought for the first time, after I rebooted your show, you exposed my identity to the world, like the fool you were. I thought my plans to rebuild the Mongol Empire were doomed, without a source of funding for my army.
(Ben): I fought you over what? Man, those years were a blur.
(Mongol Warrior): Silence! The Great Khan is speaking!
(Genghis Khan): Luckily, however, the management at CN were benevolent enough to let me keep my position in the company. I continued rebooting well-loved classic animated shows to my heart’s content. All was well. However, a few months ago, everything changed for the worst. An archeologist team unburied an ancient scroll, containing the exchanges between me and one of my khans, where I happened to jest about our pillage and slaughter of a Chinese village. The Tweeters did not take this well. I was “cancelled”, harassed, and finally fired from my job after constant petitions to my workplace. All over 800 year jokes!
(Ben): ...of your pillage and slaughters?
(Genghis Khan): Yes, Ben. Cancel Culture went too far this time! I had to accelerate my plans. I hired one of my warlocks to cast a memory altering spell on your ex-girlfriend and your former school mates, and change my appearance to the one known as Robert Jiebers, to trigger your jealousy and cause you to self isolate. I needed you to feel what I felt all those months, as retribution! Now all that is left for me is to swiftly assassinate you and grab your Omnitrix, to aid our glorious new conquest!
(Ben): Why didn’t you just alter my memory to make me give over the Omnitrix? And why specifically Justin Bieber?
(Genghis Khan): Silence! Riders, bring me his head!
The Mongol horde let out a warcry as they rode towards Ben, who panicked in the spot as he tried to select an alien.
(Ben): Shit! What did I use to defeat him back then? Oh, reboot, right. (transform) Overflow!
Overflow created two water blades and propelled himself with water jets above the Mongol Riders, shooting himself towards the Great Khan himself. Genghis simply laughed, and with a swipe of his hand, swept all of Overflow’s water to the side, causing him to fall in front of him on his face, surrounded by riders.
Overflow drew up two new water swords, which were quickly wiped away by Genghis Khan once again.
(Genghis Khan): I laugh at your “Overflow”, Ben Tennyson! My Water Magick has vastly improved since our last fight! You have no chance against me! Ha Ha Ha!
(Ben/Overflow): Maybe Overflow isn’t enough then. How about... (slaps Omnitrix symbol) ULTIMATE ØVERFLØW! What?
Ben, as Viking Øverfløw, looked down at his new alien body. His head was covered with a horned viking helmet, complementing the two massive warhammers he was wielding.
(Ben/Øverfløw): What? This isn’t an ultimate førm!
(Genghis Khan): A Norseman? I should have conquered you with the rest of them!
(Ben/Øverfløw): Let’s see what this guy can dø!
Bursting himself upwards with a blast of water, Øverfløw swung his hammers around him, smashing through the Mongolian’s armor, and pushing them off their horses. He let out another swing, and a third one, which exploded into a burst of electricity when it hit one of the Mongolian’s armor.
(Ben/Øverfløw): Wøah! This is awesøme!
The riders charged towards Øverfløw, who created an explosion of water around him, before smashing the ground with his hammer.
(Ben/Øverfløw): BY THE PØWER ØF THØR, LET LIGHTNING STRIKE!
A bolt of lightning descended through the ceiling, shocking the hammer and all nearby soaked enemies. The horses went into panic, dropping the zapped warriors on the ground before trampling them with their own cavalry. Genghis Khan remained on his horse.
(Genghis Khan): Get him!
Two Mongolians charged towards Ben with their spears, weaving through the chaos. Øverfløw hurled both of his hammers at them, creating a lightning explosion on hit. Sending out watery tendrils from his arms, he pulled his hammers back to his hands, and continued to fight off the horde with his powerful hammers, drenching them with blasts of water before electrifying them.
(Genghis Khan): Warriors! Do not disappoint me!
Øverfløw continued fighting the Mongol horde, slinging his electric hammers at the horse-mounted warriors. Looking around, he realized he was outnumbered.
(Ben/Øverfløw): There's tøø many øf them... I shøuld call før backup!
Øverfløw bellowed out a Nordic war cry.
(Ben/Øverfløw): Attack, my vikings!
Suddenly, a massive Viking longship crashed through the roof of the building, smashing onto the floor. Out of the ship came a horde of vikings equipped with battle axes, who began fighting the Mongol horde. Genghis looked around in disbelief.
(Genghis Khan): TENNYSON!
On the stairs outside of the school, Crazy Ben was sitting, on his phone with Eggy, while Muslim Ben leaning on the rail.
(Crazy Ben): (in a sad tone) Waazzzuuuuuuuup, Eggy.
Through the phone, Crazy Ben heard loud violent noises of what sounded like construction machinery and drilling.
(Eggy): (scared) B-Bak. (CBT, I need your help. Max has pulled out... the toys...)
(Crazy Ben): What? I can’t hear you over all this noise!
(Eggy): Bagh. (When one of them orgasms, they all orgasm. Please, help me.)
Crazy Ben suddenly heard a loud crashing noise from behind him, along with Viking and Mongol yelling.
(Crazy Ben): Viking screams... I’ll call you back, Eggy.
Crazy Ben disconnected the call.
(Crazy Ben): I think Ben is in trouble!
(Muslim Ben): Go help him, I’ll get Gwen and Kevin!
Back to the basketball court, Øverfløw was tossing his hammers at enemies, as he heard a familiar voice.
(Crazy Ben): Ben! Catch meeee!
Crazy Ben came from the bleacher entrance, and jumped from the top of the chairs, transforming in mid-air into a brown shark mounted with coffee cannons.
(Crazy Ben/Coffeeshark): COFFEESHARK!
Øverfløw caught him with a mid-air water current, allowing him to swim freely through the air and shoot burning hot coffee at Mongolians around him.
(Ben/Øverfløw): CBT! Yøu came back!
(Crazy Ben/Coffeeshark): Ye bro
Coffeeshark continued swimming around in the current, shooting his cannons at unsuspecting warriors.
(Genghis Khan): You forget, the water is mine to control as well!
Genghis Khan wiped away Øverfløw’s current, causing Coffeeshark to fall and flop across the floor.
(Crazy Ben/Coffeeshark): Can’t... move... without... water...
(Ben/Øverfløw): Just gø ultimate, man!
(Crazy Ben/Coffeeshark): Ur right!
Coffeeshark rolled on his back, and slapped his Omnitrix symbol with his fin. Instead of evolving, chunks of grey rock began flying and forming around his body, covering him. Electricity sprouted out from his shoulders and pelvis, creating arms and legs out of brown electricity. His coffee cannons moved to his shoulders, as he stood up in a new form, his shark head awkwardly lodged upright between his tall shoulders.
(Crazy Ben/Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark): Woah! This isn’t an ultimate! This is... OMNI-ENHANCED COFFEESHARK!
(Genghis Khan): You were inspired by my reboot, I see!
Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark waddled around in place, unable to focus on a single area of vision, with his vision obscured by his shoulders.
(Crazy Ben/Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark): I can’t see shit!
(Ben/Øverfløw): Just shøøt!
Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark aimed his coffee cannons forwards, and began firing off coffee, while he shot caffeinated electricity from his arms in all directions as well, striking random Mongolians. Øverfløw continued his usual fighting style, zapping away at drenched Mongolians.
From the other bleachers, both Bens heard a familiar voice.
(Muslim Ben/BenBen): You called, Ben?
(Gwen): What the hell?
Muslim Ben, as a BenBen version of himself, Gwen, and Muslim Kevin were standing on the bleachers, Gwen even more confused.
(Ben/Øverfløw): Yøu guys! (sniff) Yøu came back!
(Gwen): What the hell is going on here, Ben? This isn’t very historically accurate!
(Ben/Øverfløw): Bøbby was secretly Genghis Khan and his army all aløng! Fight them, just døn’t hurt the vikings! They're øn øur side!
(Muslim Ben/BenBen): Alright!
Muslim Ben placed his taqiyah on his Omnitrix, and pushed it down, transforming into yet another new form.
(Muslim Ben): Hat Slapback!
Hat Slapback curled into a ball in mid-air, as his taqiyah slid down across his back, which stretched backwards and released, slapping him on the back and creating two more copies, with their own hats, which were shot forward from the impact, and smashed into some Mongol Riders. The two high-fived as they landed on their feet.
(Muslim Ben/Hat Slapback x2): Aiwa!
The two Hat Slapback’s hats repeated the same process, sending two more mini-Hat Slapbacks from each Slapback into more enemies, bashing into them and knocking them off their horses. The mini-Slapbacks repeated the process as well, sending dozens Hat Slapback pellets hurling in every direction across the battlefield.
Kevin absorbed the metal from the bleachers and slammed down onto the ground, punching through Mongolians. Gwen levitated into the air, her eyes glowing purple, and created a purple magic force field around her, before firing off homing mana projectiles across the battlefield at all enemies.
Genghis Khan leaped off his horse, continuing fighting off the Viking warriors around him with his massive spear and sword, spearing the few who managed to get close to him. Around him, the basketball court was in chaos, filled with Vikings, Mongolians, mana missiles, Hat Slapbacks, coffee puddles, water puddles, and electric blasts, caffeinated and non-caffeinated.
(Genghis Khan): ENOUGH!
Genghis Khan slammed the butt of his spear on the ground, causing massive tendrils of water to grab Ben, Crazy Ben, Kevin, Gwen and all the Vikings into the air, floating with their heads above the water, unable to move, along with thin tiny tendrils to grab all of the miniscule Hat Slapbacks. Gwen’s magic was disabled, Øverfløw was disarmed once again, and Kevin returned to his normal skin. The Mongol Warriors slowly pulled themselves up to the ground.
(Crazy Ben/Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark): fugg
(Muslim Ben/Hat Slapbacks): (all together) Dang!
(Genghis Khan): You... I underestimated you.
(Ben/Øverfløw): Yøur plan failed, Genghis! My friends still have my back!
(Genghis Khan): Not for long, Ben!
Genghis’s water tendrils rose up, submerging them fully in water. Kevin, Gwen, and the Vikings helplessly tried to swim up to catch their breath, but were unable to move.
Øverfløw spread his arms to his sides, and created airbubbles for all of his allies. Genghis noticed this, and slammed the butt of his spear again, trying to close the air bubbles.
(Genghis Khan): It is hopeless, Ben! Your friends will drown in my waters, and the Mongol Empire shall rise again, stronger than ever before!
(Gwen): Did Julie know about any of this?
(Genghis Khan): She... was only another pawn, irrelevant. All that matters is the Mongolian Empire!
(Ben): If she could see you now...
(Genghis Khan): Silence! Do not bring her up any longer! She was nothing but my tool to achieve victory!
As Genghis and Øverfløw kept fighting over the air bubbles, Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark realized something.
(Crazy Ben/Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark): I got it!
Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark let out a blast from both of his coffee cannons and his arms, blasting him backwards out of the tendril. He rolled on his back, and reverted, running towards the exit.
(Genghis Khan): Where did he go?
Genghis Khan looked around for Crazy Ben, before he heard the doors swing open again. TMUAOAT and Julie ran into the basketball court.
(Julie): Tammy? What’s going on-
Julie looked around, and saw all the remains from the battlefield.
(Julie): What the hell? Bobby is that... you?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): You see guys, I figured it out.
(Genghis Khan): No, baby, look, I can explain.
(Julie): What... what is all this, Bobby?
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Genghis caught feelings.
(Julie): Were you... were you really founder and the first Great Khan and Emperor of the Mongol Empire Genghis Khan all this time? Did all of our years together mean nothing to you?
(Genghis Khan): Baby... look, I was just trying to rebuild the Mongolian Empire... I was meaning for you to rule with me...
(Julie): Was any of it real to you?
(Genghis Khan): Those past few days with you were the realest I’ve felt with anyone. I’ve felt more for you than any of my 13 wives, or hundreds of mistresses, baby... please...
(Julie): I’m sorry Bobby. I can’t support this pointless bloodshed. You... you altered my memories. You used me.
(Genghis Khan): No, no, please! The Mongol Empire will be worth the price of it all! I-You can be my fourteenth wife, Julie! I love you!
(Julie): I’m- I’m sorry Bobby. I think we should end it.
Genghis Khan fell to his knees, broken.
In sadness, Genghis’s water tendrils collapsed behind him, dropping all of his enemies to the floor. Gwen quickly straightened herself up, her eyes glowing pink.
Purple chains formed around Genghis Khan’s wrists, chaining him in mid-air. Genghis Khan tried to form a water blade, but couldn’t.
(Genghis Khan): Wh-what?
(Gwen): I nullified your powers, Genghis. Your magic won’t work anymore.
(Genghis Khan): You-you can’t do that!
Genghis Khan tried to lunge forward, still chained.
(Crazy Ben/TMUAOAT): Simp.
The Hat Slapback’s all reformed into one Hat Slapback, as he returned to human form. Ben reverted as well. Julie got closer to the chained warlord.
The Mongol warriors attempted to get close, but were suddenly blocked off by purple barriers.
(Gwen): Stand back!
The Mongol warriors reluctantly agreed.
(Ben): So what do we do with him?
(Gwen): (playfully) Oh, I’ve got just the thing.
Gwen changed into her Anodyte form and floated into the air, before beginning to chant a spell.
(Gwen): I CURSE YE, TEMÜJIN BORJIGIN, YE HARBRINGER OF WARFARE AND DEATH! I STRIP YE OF YER MAGICK AND YER DEATHLESSNESS! YER FATE SHALL BE THE ONE YE AND YER DESCENDANTS HATH INFLICTED UPON SO MANY, MILLIONS OF INNOCENT MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN ALIKE! I SEND YE BACK THROUGH THE AGES TO A SCENE OF THE RUINATION YE EVOKED, THE SIEGE OF THE CITY OF ZHONGDU! YE SHALL LIVE THE REST OF SHORT LIFE, UNRECOGNIZED BY YER OWN MEN, AS THEY BURN, LOOT, AND SACK THE CITY TO THE GROUND, YE AMONG THEM! YE ROSE THROUGH WAR, AND WAR SHALL BE YER DEMISE!
Purple particles ripped out from Genghis Khan towards Gwen, as a purple portal slowly opened behind him.
(Genghis Khan): No, no, please!
(Ben): Jeez, Gwen, I thought you were going for something a bit more light or humorous.
Gwen returned to human form.
(Gwen): Dude, did you even read those jokes online?
The portal fully opened, creating a vacuum, sucking in Genghis Khan.
(Genghis Khan): NO, NO! YOU CAN’T! JULIE, TELL THEM I WAS GOOD! NO!
(Julie): I’m sorry, Bobby.
Gwen unchained Genghis, as the portal began sucking him in, into an alleyway of the old Chinese city of Zhongdu.
(Genghis Khan): CURSE YOU, TENNYSONS!
Genghis flew backwards through the portal, but at the last second, managed to throw his spear out at Ben. Ben jumped sideways to dodge the spear, which hit Kevin instead.
(Ben): No! Kevin!
Ben and Gwen rushed to Kevin, who was thrown backwards across the floor, the spear still lodged in his chest. He got to his feet, and pulled it out.
(Kevin): Don’t worry, my friends. I’m fine. This copy of the Qu’ran Abu-Spanner gave me blocked the spear! And look!
Kevin pulled out the Qu’ran from his front pocket, which seemed undamaged. He flipped through the holy book, revealing none of the pages were damaged either.
(Kevin): Not a single page was damaged! This is truly a sign from the Most Merciful himself that I am on the right path! Alhamdullilah!
(Muslim Ben): Alhamdullilah!
Ben and Gwen looked in relief. Around them the Mongol Horde tried to come closer, as Gwen quickly flashed to her Anodyte form.
(Gwen): You guys want what he got?
The Mongols shook their head, as they rushed out back on their horses through the exit.
(Viking Leader): Øur jøb here is døne!
The Vikings all charged back into their longship, and began rowing it into the air, flying away from the hole in the basketball court’s cieling into the sky.
(Ben): Nothing like some unrestricted violence to get the team back together, huh?
(Muslim Ben): So, Ben. You were partially correct. I apologize for doubting you.
(Ben): That doesn’t excuse how I’ve behaved today. I’m sorry, guys. I was an asshole.
(Muslim Ben): That doesn't cover everything, but I appreciate your apology.
(Crazy Ben): Eh, I'll accept it.
(Gwen): So, now that you got that out of the way, you mind explaining what's been going on? You've certainly got the time.
(Ben): Yeah, you guys definitely deserve an explanation.
Ben, Gwen, Kevin and both Muslim Ben and Crazy Ben, both as BenBens, were sitting on the bleachers, as a squad of Plumbers and police were cleaning up the scene of the fight. Julie was in an ambulance, speaking with a psychologist.
(Gwen): Wait so, I was your wife in Family Guy, and then your granddaughter in Rick and Morty? Man, that Sexon guy is screwed up.
(Ben): Oh, you don’t even know the least of it. Still, nothing that day came close to how terrible CBT’s pickle Ben joke was.
(Crazy Ben/BenBen): Hey, I had to seize the moment, you know? That was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
(Ben): (chuckles, jokingly) Shut up, dude.
Ben looked at Julie in the ambulance.
(Ben): (jokingly) So, you think I still have a shot with Julie or nah?
(Gwen): Now? Hell no. She's going to need a ton of counseling after this. Imagine finding out your fiance was secretly an ancient Mongolian warlord, sheesh. Besides, you know, she isn't the person you dated years ago. People change, Ben.
(Ben): Yeah, you're right. Going after her was a mistake. Abu-Spanner was right.
(Muslim Ben/BenBen): Told you so, Ben.
(Kevin): Abu-Spanner, may we speak privately, before me and Gwen have to leave?
(Muslim Ben/BenBen): Sure, habibi.
Kevin and Muslim Ben left, as Crazy Ben’s phone rang.
(Crazy Ben/BenBen): (answering phone) Oh, hey, Eggy! Is it over yet?
Crazy Ben got up from his seat, and started walking around as he took the call.
(Gwen): My husband is a devout Muslim now, huh. That's nice, I guess. Better than being alcoholic and depressed.
(Ben): Hey, as long as he's happy.
(Gwen): So... are you going to do anything about... you know?
(Gwen): The Celestialsapien DNA in your body. The one that’s making you summon all these bizarre villains. I’m sure Azmuth can come up with a way to remove it.
(Ben): I don’t know, Gwen. I don’t know if those two existences depends on me having the DNA. I don’t want them to disappear.
Ben looked at Crazy Ben, excited on the phone talking with Eggy, while Muslim Ben was excited while talking with Kevin, showing each other passages from the Qu’ran.
(Ben): Besides, what if I can learn to control it? I wouldn’t even need the Omnitrix to save the world.
(Gwen): Do you think it’s worth the risk? What if you can’t beat the next absurd villain you create?
(Ben): (sigh) I don’t know, Gwen.
(Gwen): Think about it, okay?
Kevin came up to Ben and Gwen.
(Kevin): You ready to go, habibti?
(Gwen): Yeah. I’m ready.
The Bens and Kevin and Gwen hugged and said their goodbyes. Gwen held Kevin’s hand, as she teleported him away.
(Ben): You two ready to leave?
(Crazy Ben): Yeah, we gotta pick up Eggy.
(Muslim Ben): Yep.
(Ben): Man Abu-Spanner, I gotta say, I didn’t know you were that good at converting people to Islam.
(Muslim Ben): Huh. You’re right, I am pretty good at this.
The three Bens walked out through the bleacher doors.
- Ben Tennyson
- Gwen Tennyson
- Kevin Levin
- Julie Yamamoto
- Viking Warriors
- Genghis Khan/Bobby Jiebers
- Mongol Horde
- Øverfløw (debut)
By Crazy Ben
- Coffeeshark (BTSFEOOF debut)
- Omni-Enhanced Coffeeshark (debut)
- The Most Useless Alien Of All Time
- BenBen (Crazy Ben) (debut)
By Muslim Ben