Baked Wings is an episode of Evan Billion in season 2. It is after Finding FIND and before The Life of a
Baked Wings


Evan and the gang are in a camper. Evan is watching a show about cereal.

(Evan): I wonder what food group cereal is in. Maybe in the grains.

(Kevin): No, it's not in the grains. Maybe it is in no food group.

(Evan): No, it is definitely in the grains with stuff like bread.

(Kevin): Bread has it's own food group called "Bread."

(Evan): No, bread is a grain. The only food with it's own food group is Beans.

(Kevin): Beans are paired with meat, and there are a lot of different kinds of beans like lima beans, black beans, soy beans, cranberry beans, kidney beans, pinto beans, and laser beans.

(Evan): Laser beans? It's laser beams.

(Kevin): Really? I thought it was laser beans.

Delilah flew in the door.

(Delilah): Sharpoint, guess what?

Sharpoint was punching Rocket. He stopped, and looked at Delilah.

(Evan): He can't talk.

(Delilah): I know he can't talk. It's just a common saying. So, guess what?

Sharpoint looked at the screen.

(Delilah): I got accepted into a cooking academy 3 weeks ago, and guess what?

Evan, Kevin, Rocket, and Sharpoint looked at the screen.

(Delilah): Today is Take Your Date to the Academy Day! I'll give you a moment to get ready.

Delilah flew out the door. Kevin took Sharpoint to a small bathroom with a table and chairs. Kevin and Sharpoint sat on opposite sides.

(Kevin): We need to improve you. Once you go there, you will need to be looking good with your nice, clean hair......

The screen showed Sharpoint's bald spiky head.

(Kevin): ........your nice clothing........

The screen showed Sharpoint's wrinkly black suit.

(Kevin): ..........and your soothing voice.

Sharpoint growled.

(Kevin): It looks like you're far from that, so let's get started!

A tune played, while Kevin was fixing up Sharpoint. Kevin was painting hair on Sharpoint's head. He was reading fashion magazine and gave Sharpoint some cool clothing. He then showed Sharpoint some note cards that were supposed to give him a soothing growl. When the tune was over, Sharpoint looked like the picture of Sharpoint wearing clothes on his page.

(Kevin): Okay, let's show Rocket and Evan.

Kevin took Sharpoint to Rocket and Evan. Sharpoint jumped on Rocket and started attacking him.

(Kevin): Sharpoint, stop!

Sharpoint stopped. His clothes were all wrinkled.

(Kevin): Now, we are going to have to fix that.

Sharpoint growled, then ran all over outside. Kevin chased him around. Sharpoint stepped on a branch and fell down.

(Kevin): We can use the natural-ness of the outdoors to fix that.

Kevin used sticks to tie Sharpoint to the ground, then went outside. He came outside with Evan as NMA. Evan started examining stuff from the outside and used it to build a platform to unwrinkle Sharpoint's clothes.

(Kevin): Thanks. I will start ironing.

Kevin tried ironing. He didn't know much about how to do it, so he kept doing stuff like dropping the iron on his foot and sticking it into Sharpoint's mouth.

(Kevin): Ironing is impossible!

(Evan): Why need ironing when you can do this?

Evan turned into Esrever and reversed Sharpoint's clothes, making them unwrinkled.

(Kevin): Why didn't you do that first?

(Evan): I was testing you to see if you knew the powers of my aliens. And you get an F.

Evan pulled out a clipboard with a piece of paper on it and a pencil. He wrote an F on it.

(Kevin): Not if I can do anything about it!

Kevin grabbed the pencil and moved it around a lot. Evan moved it around, too. They kept moving the pencil around, then stopped. They both looked at the paper.

(Kevin): It's a piece of paper eating a pencil top!

Evan turned it.

(Evan): Now it's a fat balloon eating and throwing cheese pies at Cloud Man!

Kevin turned it.

(Kevin): Now it's a piece of pie fighting a boxer and they fall down a bottomless pit on the fifth sun from the moon!

Evan turned it.

(Evan): Yay, now it's a plain F again.

(Kevin): Let's just wait for Delilah to come back.

Evan and Kevin took a while to set up a small waiting camp for the three of them. They both took time to make things comfortable. Once they finished, Sharpoint layed down on a bed. Once Sharpoint layed down on the bed, Delilah arrived in a ship.

(Evan): Ha-ha.

Sharpoint growled.

(Kevin): Remember what I taught you.

Sharpoint read an index card, then shook his head, put his hands clasped under his head, and bowed down.

(Evan): No one does that when they are angry.

(Kevin): Sharpoint does.

(Delilah): Come on!

Sharpoint walked onto the ship.

(Delilah): Wow, you clean up good.

The door closed, and the ship rose into the sky. Then, it flew through the air onto a floating crater and parked in a parking lot of a space bakery.

(Delilah): We're here. Come on.

Delilah and Sharpoint walked into the cooking academy. They walked through the halls. Most of it was white. The lockers were caled meat lockers and held all of the students' stuff. Delilah hurried up into a room that said "Mr. DeMinio, Featured Class." They walked into it. Mr. DeMinio was a human that was wearing white clothes and a toque. He had a little curly mustache and near-muscular arms.

(Mr. DeMinio): Okay, class-a has started-a. I added extra chairs-a for your dates-a. Please-a sit down-a.

All the students sat down.

(Mr. DeMinio): Okay-a, as you-a all know-a, today-a is Bring-a Your Date-a to Class Day-a. Expedit-a, where is your date-a?

Expedita was a female Kinneceleran. She had a wrinkled blue shirt and a long green skirt, and short black hair.

(Expedita): I don't have a date. But if I did, it would definitely be famous Citrakayah star Dashton Kutcher!

(Mr. DeMinio): Okay-a. Today-a we will start with the baking-a of our-a chocoleet cheep cookies-a! Students-a, show your dates-a how it's done-a.

The students used their supplies on their desks to show their dates how to make chocolate chip cookies.

(Delilah): Okay, first you spin this around. Then, you pour this into a bowl and pour the liquid into it. Stir it around and insert the chocolate chips while you are stirring. Hey, where are the chocolate chips?

Sharpoint was mashing up the chocolate chips into a ball. He licked around it and formed a chocolate spike ball. He gave it to Delilah.

(Delilah): Thanks, but no.

Delilah tore apart the ball and put the chocolate into the bowl. She stirred it more. Sharpoint shook his head, clasped his hands in front of his head, and bowed down.

(Delilah): Why don't you just growl?

Sharpoint murmured, and it sounded like he was mocking Delilah.

(Mr. DeMinio): Expedit-a, why-a aren't you-a making chocoleet cheep cookies-a?

(Expedita): I don't have a date to make them for.

(Mr. DeMinio): Pretend-a that-a Dashton Kutcher was-a here as your date-a and he wanted cookies-a. What-a would you do-a?

(Expedita): Find some cookies and give them to him.

(Mr. DeMinio): What-a if Dashton Kutcher made-a some chocoleet cheep cookies-a and gave them to everyone-a except you-a, and-a only you-a had the recipe-a? What-a would you do-a?

(Expedita): Steal the cookies from him!

(Mr. DeMinio): I-a don't-a know-a how you got-a accepted-a.


A Zeroman was drinking a pot of something. He put it down.

(Mr. DeMinio): Do-a you like it-a, Crazi-a?


(Mr. DeMinio): It-a eez water-a.

(Crazi): And pears shine in the sun.

(Mr. DeMinio): Okay-a classeee, as-a all our-a students-a know, we-a play a game-a everyday-a. Today's-a game-a eez called-a Dodgecookie-a. The chocoleet cheep cookies-a you made-a will be used-a for the ammo-a. Let's-a get started-a.

The students lined up in the Food Gym. They were split into two teams, the students and the dates.

(Mr. DeMinio): Play-a Dodgecookie-a!

Everybody started throwing and dodging cookies. An alien with sticky hands threw his cookie, but it stuck to him and slung into his eye.

(Sticky Hands Alien): Ahhh! My eye!

Mr. DeMinio walked up to the alien.

(Mr. DeMinio): Ztix-a, everyone knows-a that-a B-Tucks aren't-a supposed to get-a cookie in their-a eye-a! You-a are expelled-a from Dodgecookie-a!

Ztix walked in disappointment to the bench. Later, the students were sticking apples together with food glue.

(Mr. DeMinio): We-a will-a have-a apple eating competition-a for the dates-a! Eat-a, eat-a, eat-a!

The dates started eating like crazy. Ztix ate about 2 apples, then blinked his eyes a lot and started eating other things like desks, the floor, and other aliens. He ate a Picklesapien, Cibusian, Caravane, Donut, and Cookinian.

(Delilah): Well, that's ironic. How many food aliens are there?

Sharpoint ate most apples.

(Mr. DeMinio): And-a the-a winner is-a Sharpoint-a!

Then, Sharpoint started huffing and puffing. His stomach started inflating.

(Mr. DeMinio): He's-a allergic-a!

(Delilah): Everybody run!

(Ztix): He's about to blow!

Ztix was blowing up a Ekbeater. He popped, and made the cookie come out of Ztix's eye.

(Ztix): Yay!

Sharpoint started spitting oatmeal-like substances around. Two of them landed in Ztix's eyes.

(Ztix): Darnit.

Everybody had evacuated at that time, except Ztix, who's hands were stuck to Sharpoint.

(Ztix): Help!

(Crazi): I'll save the day! Duh duh duh-duh, duh duh duh-duh, DUH DUH DUH-DUH!

Crazi flew and shot laser vision at Ztix's hands. He flew up and hit the ceiling.

(Crazi): Owww.

Everybody had lined up and was tugging each other to unstick Ztix. Finally, Ztix came unstuck, and they all tumbled out of the academy. Sharpoint's outer layer blew up. Sharpoint's clothes were ripped and his fake hair was gone.

(Mr. DeMinio): Well-a, that-a was a bust-a.

(Delilah): You think so?

It showed everybody floating in space, and parts of the academy flying away.

Jump Into a Book

Ray and Caecus were running around. Caecus ran through a library, and Ray chased him. Caecus came out normal, but Ray came out with a lot of books on him. Caecus ran into a cave, and Ray fell into the cave. The books fell off Ray and separated. One book was about an ice cream land, and Caecus fell into it. Ray fell on it and got knocked out, and woke up in the book.

Ray slid down the ice cream mountain and ran to a bunch of ice cream sculptures. He saw Caecus running through them and knocking them on Ray. Caecus got on a banana split boat and floated down an ice cream lake. Ray got on a cherry boat and started floating towards him, but Ray and the cherry sank. Ray woke up with Caecus running away. Ray chased him, and Caecus got sucked into a technology book. Ray ran in after him.

Caecus was running on metal ground and up gadget stairs. Ray ran up the stairs and stepped on the button that turned him into a million small Rays, which surrounded Caecus. They all pressed buttons by their feet, which killed all the Rays except one, who went on search of a growth ray. He thought he pressed the button for one, but it was a shrink ray that shrunk him to the size of a germ. He saw other germs, which he ate in able to become bigger. But he became too big, and Caecus was able to get away quickly. Ray chased him out of the book and into more books.

In a floppy book, Ray tried to shoot Caecus with a cannon, but the side swooped down and stuck Ray in between the sides. In an upside-down book, Ray was on an upside-down cliff with a gun and hamburger bait. Caecus ran past the burger while picking it up in his mouth and eating it and Ray fell down. In a space book, Ray got hit by a meteor. In a portal book, Ray got sucked into a portal. In an ice rink book, Ray slipped and fell into a water hole.

Ray and Caecus ran into a Medieval book. Ray was wearing a suit of armor and Caecus was dressed like a horse. Ray chased Caecus to a castle, throwing many spears at him. Caecus ran inside the castle and raised the drawbridge. Caecus then flew up on a dragon, and the dragon burned Ray to crisps. The crisp fell into a pile.

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