|Season 1, Episode 9|
|Air date||July 31st, 2015|
A Sordid Story
“We’re going to the library?”
“For the last time, it’s not a library!”
Tech was spinning around in his office chair as Aquadilus and Alvono were arguing.
“Well then, what is it?!” Alvono demanded.
“The Archives of Oberon are a massive building filled with row after row of information on pretty much everything in the universe!” Aquadilus replied, whipping his tail in annoyance.
“That’s exactly what a library is!”
“Would you two stop arguing already?!” Tech snapped. “I’m already set to go.” He pointed to the backpack he was wearing. “What about you?”
“I'm not really bringing anything, so I’m good.” Alvono said.
“Yeah, I suppose I’m ready as well.” Aquadilus confirmed.
“Well then, let’s go!”
With a green flash, Tech, Alvono, and Aquadilus materialized into a large plaza. Gray stone tile dotted with countless intricate carvings lined the ground, while a large fountain with ornate sculpting ran in the center of the area. To the north, an unbelievably immense tower stood above them, looking as if it reached out beyond the atmosphere. A large staircase led up to the door of the building, which was decorated with a strange pattern. Two Animam Creari statues stood outside the building, grasping spears in their stone fists.
“Welcome to Veritum!” Aquadilus said, gesturing towards the open sky. “Home to the Animam Creari!”
“I think I'd be more impressed if I wasn't about to lose my balance.” Tech said dizzily.
“Whoa, are those the Archives of Oberon?!” Alvono asked, pointing to the giant tower.
“Yep!” Aquadilus confirmed. “Rumor has it that the building uses a series of pocket dimensions to be even bigger on the inside!”
“Okay, enough talking about it.” Tech said, regaining his balance. “Let’s just go in.”
“For once, I'm with you on this.” Aquadilus said, starting to walk to the building. “Come on!”
After entering the building, the trio had been directed to a short line of people waiting to get into the archives themselves.
“You know, I have to say, I’m surprised at just how short this line is.” Tech said. “I would’ve expected something more along the lines of airport security.”
“The Animam Creari are incredibly fast and efficient when it comes to stuff like this.” Aquadilus explained. “They just use mana to scan your mind for any dangerous mental instability or intent to harm, then let you in. It’s a lot better than anything you’d find on Earth.”
As they got further ahead up the line, Tech heard a rather heated argument coming from the front desk. Looking past the people in front of him, he saw a red, robotic life-form, flanked by similar blue and yellow life-forms, arguing with the Animam Creari security guard at the desk.
“For the last time, we are synthetics!” The red one snapped, tapping his foot in frustration. “We don’t have organic minds to scan!”
“Sorry, but that’s just policy.” The guard replied. “I can’t let you in without you passing a scan.”
“So has red tape gotten worse these past few millennia, or has this always been a heaping pile of bull sh-” “What Red means to say,” The blue synthetic interrupted, smacking the red one. “Is that these policies seem unreasonably limited. Isn’t there an alternative to the scans for synthetics?”
“To be honest, you’re the only synthetic life-forms I’ve ever really seen come to the archives. There isn’t much of a process set up for this.”
“So basically you’re saying we can’t get in?” The red one replied, rolling his two main eyes.
“Well, I suppose that if someone who did pass the scans vouched for you, I should be able to let you in.” The guard said, scratching his head in thought.
“Is that it?” The blue one said. “Red, call up Az-”
The red and blue synthetics glared at each other.
“Look, I know you don’t like him, but we need to get in here.” The blue one said.
“Not that badly, we don’t.” The red one snapped. “Let’s just leave, okay?”
“Oh, for the love of-”
“Hey! Blue synthetic guy!” A voice came from the line.
The blue synthetic turned to see Tech gesturing towards him.
“Aren’t you that Magister Blue guy that was talking to Azmuth when I got there?” Tech asked.
“Well, what do you know.” Magister Blue said. “Yeah, that was me.”
“Who are those two with you?”
“These are Magisters Red and Yellow.” Magister Blue said, gesturing towards his companions.
“Hold on, you three are Plumber Magisters?” The security guard asked.
“Well, yeah.” Magister Red replied. “Why?”
“Well, anyone with a registered Plumber’s Badge can get in without the scans.”
Magister Red’s third eye suddenly started twitching.
After a few moments of being frozen in a frustrated silence, he held out his Plumber’s Badge.
“Just verify it.”
“Well, that was easy.” Tech said, stepping with Aquadilus and Alvono into the main hall.
The main hall itself was a massive room with a polished wooden floor, intricate rugs from a wide variety of cultures, and wooden carvings decorating the ornately painted walls. In the center of the room, circular platforms were lifting the archives’ patrons into the upper levels of the tower.
“Like I said, the security here is quick and painless.” Aquadilus replied. “Come on, let’s get to the upper floors. That’s where the older stuff is.”
“You sure they’ll have information on that ‘Great Sun’ armor Dethrouge wears?” Alvono asked. “This still seems like a bit of a stretch.”
“Well, if they don’t, I can at least look up some extra information on my alien forms.” Tech said. “I might even be able to come up with some new techniques.”
The three of them stepped on a platform set to go up. A blue, rectangle-ish alien and a teenager with very odd hair and blue shades were already on the platform, looking over the floor list rather intently.
“Napoleon, no.” The blue alien said, rubbing his temple.
“But how am I supposed to blow people up if I don’t research explosives?!” The human protested, throwing his hands up in the air.
“You’re not supposed to blow people up!”
“Not the good guys, man! The ones that keep trying to knock my block off!”
“I would not trust you to be within fifty meters of a baking soda volcano.”
“I can’t help but feel some undeserved negativity right now.”
“Hey, are you gonna pick a floor, or are you just gonna keep standing there arguing?” Tech asked in annoyance.
“Oh, sorry.” The blue alien said, stepping out of the way. “Didn't see you there.”
“Hold on a second!” Napoleon said, pointing towards Tech. “What’s another human doing at the Archives of Oberon?”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know.” Tech replied. “Who are you two, anyway?”
“Ha! Just who do you think I am?! I’m Napoleon-”
“He’s Napoleon Eldridge.” The blue alien interrupted, rolling his eyes. “My name’s Herculian.”
“Hold on a second.” Tech interjected suspiciously. “...That hair...those glasses...that catchphrase...”
“What?” Napoleon asked, suddenly sweating bullets.
“You’re totally ripping off Gurren Lagann, aren't you?”
“What? No, I mean, I, uh, no, uh, what even is a purring lag-ben?” Napoleon replied nervously.
“Oh my god, you totally are!”
“Nice to meet you.” Aquadilus interrupted, ignoring Tech’s conversation. “This is Tech, he’s Alvono, and I’m Aquadilus.” He said, gesturing towards his companions. “Does he always act like that?” He pointed to Napoleon.
“Pretty much.” Herculian sighed.
“Trust me, I know how that feels.”
Suddenly, the platform they were standing on started moving upwards, carrying them past floor after floor. Everyone turned their heads towards the floor guide, which was currently being manned by Alvono.
“What are you doing?” Tech asked.
“You people were taking forever, man.” Alvono replied. “I figured we could just start at the top floor and work our way down.”
“The Archives of Oberon has hundreds of floors!” Aquadilus snapped. “We can’t just ‘work our way down’!”
“Not with that attitude!” Napoleon said.
“That’s the spirit!” Alvono replied.
The two of them high-fived while Aquadilus shook his head in frustration.
“So what brings you two to the archives anyway?” Tech asked Herculian.
“We’re trying to find more information on a species called the ‘Zenturi’.” Herculian explained.
“Zenturi...” Tech replied, scratching his head. “I think I heard The Void mention them. Something about them getting around his field of influence or whatever.”
“What’s The Void?”
“Some sort of insanity demon. Or pocket dimension. Maybe both at once. It’s kind of confusing.”
After a few minutes, the elevator platform finally reached the top floor.
“You have arrived at: Level 236.” A robotic voice spoke from the floor guide. “This floor contains information on: The formation of the universe.”
“They have an entire floor dedicated to the formation of the universe?” Tech asked, stepping off the platform. “My local library has like...seven books for that on a good day.”
“The archives are far more massive than any human structure.” Aquadilus explained. “The amount of information gathered in them is the largest collection of data in the galaxy.”
“So...” Napoleon spoke up from behind. “Does this floor have any information I could actually use, or do I just start heading down?”
“Of course it does!” A voice spoke from the right of the group.
They turned to see who was talking to them, finding a short, orange alien with a three-part eye and bent-back legs that was wearing a labcoat.
“There’s no such thing as useless information!” Xr. Nullamor said, approaching the group. “Just people too unimaginative to put it to work!”
“Nullamor?!” Tech snapped. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Hey, I know you!” Xr. Nullamor replied. “You’re that one angsty kid that crashed my research project!”
“You were genetically engineering a killing machine!”
“Oh, please. That was just business, nothing personal.”
“You must have some damn low standards for business.”
“My standards go up and down with the amount people are willing to pay me.” Nullamor shrugged. “I’ve lived for over four millenia, kid, and by my own species’ standards, I’m not even middle aged. Being rich helps pass the time a lot better, let me tell you.”
“Tech, just lay off.” Aquadilus said, rolling his eyes. “We’re here for information on Dethrouge’s armor, not to make chit-chat with some mad scientist you met.”
“Did you say Dethrouge?” Xr. Nullamor said, perking up. “I remember that guy. Built the stasis charges we used to trap him myself.”
“You also helped make his army of Death Hounds.” Tech countered.
“Hey, for the record, it’s not like I knew what he was going to use them for. I was young and just wanted to make cool monster things. I’m sure you can relate.”
“Not in the slightest.”
“Actually, I can totally relate to that.” Napoleon piped up.
“Not helping.” Herculian chided.
“Well, if you’re fighting Dethrouge, you’re probably screwed.” Nullamor said. “Best I can do is tell you that the information on my old stasis charge designs are on floor forty-seven. Good luck not dying!”
With that, Xr. Nullamor walked past the group and onto a descending platform, leaving a very confused Napoleon and a very annoyed Tech.
“So...” Napoleon started. “Are we going to floor forty-seven or what?”
“Well, it’s the best lead we’ve got.” Aquadilus replied. “Come on Tech, let’s go.”
“Wait, what do you mean ‘we’?” Herculian asked Napoleon. “You and I are trying to find information on the Zenturi.”
“Aw, man.” Napoleon grumbled. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“Well, I suppose we’ll be seeing you lat-” Tech began to say, but was interrupted by a loud sparking sound.
“What was that?” Alvono asked.
Suddenly, the entire building let out a huge crackle of electricity, then went dark. After a few seconds of deadly silence, the various crowds in the building began screaming and panicking, wondering what happened to the lights.
“What the hell?!” Tech exclaimed, turning on the SpecTrix’s touchscreen for light. “What just happened?!”
“Don’t worry, I got this!” Napoleon said.
There was a quick buzzing sound before the area lit up with a purple glow. In the center was a somewhat smug Napoleon holding up a sword covered in purple flames.
“What are you doing?!” Aquadilus snapped. “We are literally surrounded by flammable objects, you idiot!”
“Calm down.” Herculian said. “Napoleon’s actually got it right this time. The purple fire he makes doesn’t seem to burn anything but the Zenturi.”
“Yeah, check it out!” Napoleon said, waving his hand through the flames.
“You sure?” Aquadilus replied warily, carefully putting his hand near the flames. After a few seconds, he pulled it back. “Well, I’ll be.”
“Wow, really?” Tech said, reaching towards the sword. As soon as his hand got near it, he yelped in pain, pulling back instantly and blowing on his fingers. “Son of a-What the hell?!”
The rest of the group stared at him in confusion.
“What was that about?” Aquadilus asked.
“What do you mean, ‘what was that about’?” Tech snapped. “I put my hand in the fire and it burned! Not the best move in hindsight, but still, I’d think it would’ve been obvious.”
“I put my hand in there too, and I didn’t feel a thing.”
“Are you sure you’re not a Zenturi?” Napoleon asked.
“WHAT THE HELL IS A ZENTURI?!”
“Allow me to answer that for you.”
Before the group could turn around to see who was talking, the area around them suddenly took on a gray tint, dulling the colors. The sounds of panic died out instantaneously, and the room was filled with a deadly silence.”
“Over here, gentlemen.”
All five of them turned to see who was talking. And odd man in an orange-red striped suit and top hat had suddenly materialized behind them. He was carrying large a stick with a comically oversized crystal ball on the end of it, and was wearing a strange metal mask over his eyes.
“How are you all doing today?” The odd man asked with an off-tilted smile.
“Oh my god.” Tech said wearily, performing a rather impressive facepalm.
“What?” Alvono asked. “Who is that?”
“Everybody, meet The Void.” Tech explained.
“The Void?” Herculian asked. “Didn’t you say that was an insanity demon?”
“Yep.” Tech replied.
“Or a pocket dimension?”
“And now he’s some guy?”
“Bingo!” The Void’s body spoke in an unnaturally cheerful voice. “Although I prefer to call this body ‘The Jester’, if you will.”
“What are you even doing here?” Tech asked.
“Wait, are you the guy who turned off the lights?” Alvono interjected.
“No, I did not turn off the lights.” The Jester replied. “Correlation is not causation, my good fellow. As for what I’m doing here, I noticed that you all needed an exposition fairy.”
“A what now?”
Ignoring the question, The Jester twirled his cane and pointed it at Tech.
“The reason you got burned by the fire when nobody else did is thanks to a little thing called ‘Void Energy’. It’s what powers that nanobot swarm your fiery friend uses,” He pointed his cane towards Napoleon. “And it’s what the Zenturi ended up flooding their bodies with by accident.”
“What the heck is ‘Void Energy’?” Napoleon asked. “Did you make that up and name it after yourself?”
“Not a bad idea, but no, I did not.” The Jester replied. “Void Energy is basically an omnipresent stream of energy that is created as a result of the absorption and processing of ‘sanity’ that I was created for. It can only physically interact with objects that it has been absorbed into, but if you are able to harness it, it can be molded into pretty much anything. That’s how I made this body, as a matter of fact.”
“Okay, I think I get it.” Tech said. “The reason I can interact with it is probably because of the inordinately long amount of time I’ve spent dead and around you, right?”
“Bingo!” The Jester confirmed.
“So you’re saying that I can do pretty much anything with this stuff?” Napoleon asked.
“Eh, it depends. In its natural state, the 'stuff' sort of has a mind of its own, so you’d need an impressive willpower to pull off any large tasks with it.”
“Well, this is all very interesting.” Aquadilus interjected, annoyed. “But we need information on Dethrouge, and we’re kind of in a hurry.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” The Jester waved him off. “I stopped time around us as soon as I got here.”
“Then can you tell us how to beat Dethrouge?”
“Well, no. The man upstairs gets sorta mad if I tell someone how to influence their future.”
“Then just leave.”
“Okay, okay, sheesh.” The Jester snapped his fingers, causing the gray tint to fade and time to start moving again.
“Are you sure there’s nothing you can tell us?” Tech asked.
“One hundred percent.” The Jester confirmed. “Although, I do have a question for you before I leave.”
“What do you suppose would happen if you took a machine designed for zero, then forced it into one thousand?”
“...What are you-”
“Oh well, problems for later. Au revoir, gentlemen!”
With that, The Jester disappeared, leaving behind a very confused group of people.
“What just happened?” Herculian asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” Tech shrugged.
There were a few moments of silence.
“So...What now?” Alvono asked.
“Well, first off, I’m getting us some light that won’t burn anyone.” Tech said, fiddling with the SpecTrix dial.
After a few seconds, Tech managed to find what he was looking for and slammed down on the dial, transforming into Luminferus, lighting up the area with an intense glow.
“Ow!” Aquadilus yelled, covering his eyes. “A little warning, please!”
“I do what I want.”
“What do you think’s going on with the lights?” Alvono asked, looking around the room.
As if in response to his question, there was suddenly another crackling noise. After a few seconds, the lights came back on.
“Well, I don’t think it matters much anymore.” Tech replied, stopping his own glow.
“We should still go and ask-” Aquadilus began.
Before he could finish talking, there was a momentary, low pitched humming sound, followed by the distinct crackling of an intercom.
“Visitors of this tower!” A deep, threatening voice boomed from the intercom. “The Archives of Oberon are now under the control of the Obsidian Death!”
“Oh great, these guys again?!” Napoleon yelled.
“All security has been eliminated, and all exits have been blocked off.” The booming voice continued. “This is a hostage situation. If any of you try to escape or fight back, you will be put down quickly and with extreme prejudice.”
“How the hell did they take over the archives?!” Aquadilus asked. “That hasn’t been accomplished since...ever!”
“Inside job?” Tech suggested.
As the person on the intercom finished speaking, an elevator platform arrived on the floor, carrying a group of five massive Detrovites clad in full-body armor and wielding massive laser rifles. The group stepped off the platform, which then receded to the lower levels, and brandished their guns at the people in the surrounding area.
“Everybody down on the ground!” One of them yelled. “Not one peep out of anyone, are we clear?!”
Everyone in the surrounding area dropped to the ground exceedingly quickly, with the exception of Tech, Aquadilus, Alvono, Napoleon, and Herculian.
“What are you five doing?!” The same Detrovite yelled. “I said down on the ground!”
“Climb off your high horse and make me, cupcake!” Napoleon taunted. “Let’s see who’s the fastest draw in the west!”
The were a few seconds of tense silence.
“What the hell are you-”
“Hint, it’s me!” Napoleon swiftly constructed his arm cannon and let off a powerful shot, sending the Detrovite flying and cracking his armor.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the remaining four Detrovites raised their rifles and aimed them straight at Napoleon. Thinking quickly, Tech turned into Steelith and blocked the lasers with his reflective body, sending them right back at the Detrovites. They jumped out of the way, barely making it in time, only to be hit by a flurry of vicious slashes from Napoleon, who had transformed into Zelusassin.
Their armor ripped apart by Zelusassin’s wrist blades, the group of Detrovites attempted to fall back, but were intercepted by Aquadilus performing a fast-moving rolling attack, electrocuting them and sending them flying down the platform shaft.
“Man, OHSA would have a field day with this place.” Napoleon commented, detransforming.
“Wait, you can transform too?” Tech asked.
“Hold on, since when can you do a rolling attack?!” Alvono questioned Aquadilus, who was picking himself up from the ground.
“Since I was born as this particular species.” Aquadilus replied, rolling his eyes. “You don’t know a whole lot about Aquadilians, do you?”
“Well, if you’re anything to go by, they’re all jerks.”
“No, that’s speciesist.”
“That’s not a word.”
“According to who?”
“Generally accepted language and definitions.”
“...You win this round, dictionary.”
“Can we just go downstairs, please?” Herculian asked in annoyance.
“Good plan.” Tech replied. “Come on, let’s-”
“No, bad plan.” Napoleon interrupted. “Herculian, Aquadilus,Alvono, listen up. We need to get these people out of here, and our best bet is for Tech and I to descend the tower first and take out the squads. You three need to follow behind and get everyone out safely. I mean, let’s face it, if there’s one thing you’re good at, it’s pulling me out of my own stupid messes, so you’re a lot better at defending people than I am.”
“That...” Herculian replied. “...Actually makes a lot of sense, I’m not going to lie.”
“Except for one thing.” Tech said. “You want us to take out the squads on each floor? There are two-hundred and thirty-five floors, dude. That ain’t happening.”
“You’re assuming they sent a squad to every floor. Sending a five-man squad to every single floor would require one-thousand, one-hundred and eighty of those giant guys, which, let’s face it, would be impossible to sneak on-planet, much less into one building.”
“He has a point.” Aquadilus said. “I’d say it’s more likely the troops arrived in a single stealth ship, the average of which only hold about thirty people.”
“Six squads for the entire building?” Tech asked.
“My guess is that they were supposed to make patrol rotations across every forty floors or so.” Napoleon replied. “Given the speed of the platforms and reliance on them to get out of the building, that probably seemed like the best option.”
“...Point taken.” Tech conceded. “Let’s go.”
“Did we really have to skip the elevator platforms?” Tech asked, nonchalantly using Spiritualist’s powers to summon a wendigo.
“Hey, free-fall was the fastest way down and you know it.” Napoleon replied, launching a blast from his arm cannon into the Detrovite he was fighting. “I can’t help that you’re scared of heights.”
The two were making a fast headway through the various levels, and had already taken down several squads. Thanks to a combination of Napoleon’s incredibly powerful arm cannon and Tech’s liberal application of the Isitwalangcengce, (look it up, it’s a thing), resulted in them tearing through their enemies inordinately quickly.
As the wendigo finished off the last Detrovite on their floor with a vicious strike to the head, a platform elevator suddenly arrived on the level. Quickly recalling the wendigo, Tech turned to see the three synthetic Magisters stepping off the platform.
“Well, we were going to see if you needed any help.” Magister Blue said, looking over the beaten squad of Detrovites. “But it looks like you’ve got this covered.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you guys were here.” Tech replied, detransforming. “Yeah, we’ve taken out the squads on the floors above here. How are the floors below?”
“Swept clean, baby!” Magister Yellow answered enthusiastically. “You should’ve seen their faces! I haven’t had that much fun cleaning house in a while!”
“While I typically prefer the less violent, more thought-out approach,” Magister Red followed up. “I have to admit, this experience has been extremely cathartic.”
“So...are we, like...done?” Napoleon asked.
“Looks like it.” Magister Blue said. “The floors below have already been evacuated, so we’re going to head up and keep getting people out of here.”
“Good idea.” Tech said. “There are already a few people up there helping with that.”
“We'll see you at the bottom.” Magister blue replied, stepping back onto the platform. “Come on, let’s go.”
As the platform ascended away, Tech and Napoleon looked at each other.
“This doesn't feel right.” Tech noted.
“Yeah, it’s never this easy to stop the bad guys.” Napoleon agreed. “Something’s going on here.”
There were a few tense moments of silence.
“Wow, I guess it’s really-”
Napoleon was cut off by a massive explosion outside the building. He and Tech looked at each other for a moment, before jumping down the platform holes. Tech turned into Gravitar halfway down, slowing their descent to a crawl and eventually setting them down on the ground floor. A few moments later, a new squadron of thirty Detrovites, all armored and armed to the teeth stormed into the building, aiming their weapons at the two.
“Hands in the air, and we’ll shoot!”
“I think you mean or you’ll shoot.”
“We do not have time for this!” Napoleon snapped.
“What are you going to do about it, human?!”
Napoleon suddenly whipped off his sunglasses and threw them at the horde of Detrovites. The shades split in two and knocked out several Detrovites, distracting them while Napoleon transformed into Batdrill.
“OUT OF THE WAY, CANNON FODDER!” He yelled, turning into a drill and rocketing forward.
Napoleon exploded out of the building in a fiery blaze, scattering mooks everywhere. Tech smacked his palm to his forehead, then transformed into Electrolite, letting out a lightning chain that electrocuted the Detrovites still standing, knocking them out. He zapped out of the building, only to see Napoleon getting slammed backwards into the wall of the archives.
“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.” A voice came from across the plaza, accompanied by a slow, sarcastic clapping.
Tech looked towards the voice, finding a relatively large female alien with a stout body completely covered in armor.
“You two managed to break through two highly-trained squadrons of the Obsidian Death’s best Detrovite strike force in record time.” She explained in a gruff, somewhat bored voice. “I’d be impressed if I wasn’t absolutely livid.”
“Who are you?” Tech asked angrily. “And how did you take out the archives’ security?”
“My name is Zetium. I’m the Obsidian Death’s leading specialist on the usage of mana.”
“So, I’m guessing you figured out some way to shut down the guard’s dark mana cores?”
“Well, aren’t you a smart one? It’s a pity you’ll be dead so soon. You might’ve made something of yourself one day.”
As soon as Zetium finished talking, there was a deep rumbling in the ground below, which quickly turned into a massive earthquake, cracking the stone tiling of the plaza and causing significant chunks of nearby architecture to come crashing down.
“Tell me, what exactly do you think we were doing invading the Archives of Oberon?” Zetium asked. “Surely you don’t think we expected to last very long, having taken over one of the most significant landmarks in the galaxy.”
Before Tech could respond, a massive wave of dirt and stone exploded out of the ground behind Zetium. A huge spout of dark mana swirled out of the hole in the plaza, eventually merging itself with the uprooted earth and forming a massive, humanoid titan similar to an Animam Creari.
“As you may know, nobody has any idea how the Animam Creari are created.” Zetium explained. “What you don’t know is that they're only talking about the sentient ones.”
Mounds of dirt and rock swirled around the massive dark mana creature, adding on to its continuously expanding size.
“Anyone with the right know-how can create a completely loyal, non-sentient golem similar to in appearance to the Animam Creari themselves. All it takes is some mana control, a bunch of dirt, and massive amounts of dark mana. I can easily provide the first one, and the last two are exceedingly common on Veritum.”
The whirlwind of earth surrounding the titanic stone creature finally settled, as it rose to its full height, standing at least twelve stories tall.
“Once formed, these golems have unparalleled strength and durability. To put it simply...”
The golem behind Zetium roared intensely, causing a small tremor.
“Ugh...” Napoleon groaned, pulling himself up off the ground. “What happened?”
“You got punted into a wall, and now we have to fight that thing.” Tech replied.
“That thing.” Tech pointed towards the massive golem.
“Oh. That thing.”
There were a few moments of awkward silence.
“Do, uh...Do you have anything strong enough to punch it down to size?” Napoleon asked.
“Not anything safe enough to use inside a populated area like this. Besides, I have a better plan.”
“Yep. Instead of punching it...”
Tech slammed down on the SpecTrix dial, transforming into Overtide.
“I say we carve it!”
Tech launched himself into a Drill Run, shooting across the plaza at breakneck speed. After a few seconds of groggy silencer, Napoleon snapped to attention and transformed into Sharktank, launching himself towards the golem as well.
“This should be interesting.” Zetium commented, watching the two slam into the golem.
The golem roared in shock, stepping backwards a bit. Tech and Napoleon kept battering the golem, carving away more and more of it with each pass.
“I think it’s getting smaller!” Napoleon yelled.
As if in response to this statement, the golem roared once again. A whirlwind of dirt and stone surrounded it, knocking Tech and Napoleon to the ground. Before they could even get back up, the whirlwind faded, revealing a fully restored golem.
“Well, you made it angry.” Zetium noted. “I’d be impressed if it wasn’t already pissed as hell.”
“This isn’t working, Tech!” Napoleon yelled. “We need to try something else!”
The golem slammed its massive stone fists onto the ground where the two had landed, barely giving them enough time to dodge. The force of the impact sent them flying.
“Like what?!” Tech asked. “We’re giving it all we can without breaking anything!”
“There has to be some way we can beat this thing!”
Tech thought for a moment, then slammed down on the SpecTrix dial, transforming into Golurth.
“Actually, there just might be!”
“If you think you have enough power to control that thing’s earthy structure or its dark mana core, you’ve got another thing coming.” Zetium said.
“I didn't ask for commentary!” Tech snapped, slamming down on the SpecTrix dial. “I’m just hoping this works!”
There was a blinding flash of green as four metal clamps came from the SpecTrix symbol and fixed themselves to Golurth. Dark Mana began flowing heavily from various points on Tech’s body, pooling on the ground in a fog-like form. The mana suddenly flashed green and became teal, then began growing and suddenly erupted into teal flames, consuming Tech in a blinding light.
The flames grew larger, and suddenly, a huge form started rising out of them, covered in energy. The form grew to forty feet in height and suddenly stopped, the energy surrounding it and the teal flames being absorbed into its body, revealing a huge being mostly made of energy and covered in faces.
“Let’s see how well Ultimate Golurth fares against this thing!” He yelled, rearing back his right arm.
“Neat trick kid, but you’re still about a third of that thing’s size.” Zetium pointed out.
Tech slammed his fist into the massive golem’s knee, creating a large hole in the earth and stone making up its body. The golem roared in pain and slammed its massive fist into Tech, sending him flying across the plaza. Another whirlwind kicked up, restoring the golem’s leg to normal.
“This thing’s sheer power is incredible!” Zetium exclaimed. “Either I’m getting a raise for this, or we’re re-examining my position at this organization.”
“Holy crap!” Napoleon said, running over to Tech, whose massive form had left an impressive impact crater in the ground. “That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!”
Tech gave him a glare so intense that it caused some stray weeds growing from cracks in the stone to burst into flames.
“Er, I mean, it would be, if it weren’t, you know, a really bad situation.” Napoleon chuckled nervously.
“Well, if you’re not going to be of any help, you could at least try and think of something!”
“I dunno, man. I’m bad at thinking, just ask Herculian.”
The titanic golem started marching towards the two, slowly dragging it’s massive weight across the stone.
“Talking isn’t a free action right now Napoleon!” Tech hissed. “If we don’t think of something quick, we’re screwed!”
“Hmm...” Napoleon went deep into thought. “Wait, I think I know what to do!”
“Yeah! Remember what The Jester said about Void Energy?”
“Well, if it can really be used for anything, maybe we can use it to power you up!”
Tech stared at him for a few seconds.
“You are one hundred percent ripping off Gurren Lagann.”
“Like you’re not ripping off that Tennyson guy’s shtick.”
Napoleon threw his sunglasses up in the air and was surrounded by white energy, twisting and turning until it suddenly threw itself towards Tech, being absorbed by the mouth on his chest. An explosion of energy rushed from Tech’s body, surrounding him in a massive, swirling pillar of flames.
“What in the hell...” Zetium trailed off, noticing the flames. “What are they doing now?”
After a few intense moments, the flames stopped spinning and were absorbed into the newly-recreated Ultimate Golurth’s body. His new form was huge, standing roughly the same size as the stone golem. Massive faces covered most of his tangible body, which was interspersed with large stretches of exposed red energy. His original head rested as the crown of the new one, which had a much more defined and detailed appearance. Napoleon’s sunglasses split and landed on his head and chest, being transformed to fit his new body upon impact.
“Giant golem thingy, prepare to meet your creator!” Napoleon’s voice bellowed out from Ultimate Golurth’s chest.
“I'm right here.” Zetium snapped.
Ignoring her statement, the combined Ultimate Golurth flung his right arm into the air, pointing to the sky.
“As separate entities, we got our collective posteriors handed to us on silver platters!” Tech’s voice boomed from head.
“But working together as one, we’re going to mow you down!”
“Heaven-Piercing Crimson Lotus Ultimate Golurth!” Both voices shouted in unison.
“Now you’re just giving up on trying to be subtle about the references, huh?” Tech snarked.
“Eh, I figured I might as well own it.” Napoleon replied.
“Where the hell are you, anyways?”
“I’m in my human form inside a mechanical cockpit in your chest. Got some sweet new threads, too.”
“It totally is, dude.”
“Well, maybe a little.”
Their bickering was interrupted by a massive hit to the gut by the golem, which had taken advantage of their bickering to get close to them.
“So, that’s how you wanna play it, huh?” Napoleon said.
Ultimate Golurth grabbed the golem’s face and threw the massive creature across the plaza. Before it could get up, he rushed over to it with a burst of energy and slammed his fist into its side, sending it flying up into the air. Creating a massive burst of flames below himself, he took off into the air after it.
“Hey Tech, you ever use swords?”
“All the time.” Tech replied. “Not very well, but all the time nonetheless.”
“Wanna use a sword to finish this guy off?”
Ultimate Golurth flew up above the golem, which was reaching its peak inertia. The mouths scattered across his body flew open, emitting massive bursts of red energy, which started pooling together in front of him. After a few seconds of swirling around aimlessly, the energy took the shape of a massive sword at least half his size.
“Let’s see what this thing can do!” Napoleon yelled.
Ultimate Golurth grabbed the sword with both hands and swung it above his head, making it grow to an incredible size, dwarfing even Ultimate Golurth himself.
“Let’s finish this!” Tech shouted, swinging the sword back down in front of them.
Ultimate Golurth dropped himself forward, running the golem through with the massive blade. Using a massive explosion of energy, he propelled himself towards the ground at incredible speed, taking the impaled golem with him.
“CONDEMNATION BLADE!” Tech and Napoleon yelled in unison.
A few seconds later, they made contact with the ground.
The resulting explosion could be heard miles away.
Pieces of earth and stone rained from the sky, bouncing off the nearby buildings. Ultimate Golurth had managed to put up a wall of earth to protect the surrounding area from the explosion, but the impact was so incredible, it managed to send a massive pillar of dirt into the sky anyways.
Zetium looked on in stunned disbelief. After a few tense moments of silence, the earth wall crumbled, revealing the crushed remains of the golem, along with an exhausted Tech and Napoleon back in their normal forms. Upon noticing Zetium, Tech raised his hand to the SpecTrix’s touchscreen threateningly.
“Yeah, no.” Zetium said. “Not my job anymore, kid. I’m out.”
With that, she left the area with a fast power-walk.
After a few moments of silence, Tech and Napoleon looked at each other.
“Let’s never do this again.” Tech said.
A few minutes after the explosion, the people that had been in the archives exited the building, rushing out to see the wreckage. Stone debris and mounds of earth were scattered everywhere, with small wisps of dark mana drifting through the air. Tech and Napoleon managed to make their way through the crowd to find Alvono, Aquadilus, and Alvono.
“What did you do?!” Aquadilus snapped, gesturing to the wrecked plaza.
“Hey, it’s not our fault the Obsidian Death made a giant golem!” Tech protested.
“Yeah!” Napoleon agreed. “We actually minimized the damage, believe it or not!”
“I really don’t.” Herculian replied.
“Hey, good work out there.”
The five of them turned to see Magister Blue walking up to them.
“Magister Red’s third eye caught what was happening outside the building.” He explained. “Not sure I really understand any of what just happened, but I’m about ten-thousand years behind on technology, so it probably makes more sense to you guys.”
“Not in the slightest.” Tech replied.
“Well, I need to start writing up a report on this, so if you want to avoid any of the red tape crap, I’d recommend you leave as soon as you can.”
“Are you really supposed to suggest something like that?” Aquadilus asked.
“I am the red tape. I can do what I want.”
“Thanks for the tip.” Tech said, turning to Aquadilus and Alvono. “Let’s get back to the shop.”
“In that case, we’ll be heading back to my ship.” Herculian said. “Come on, Napoleon.”
“I guess I’ll be seeing you guys later, then.” Napoleon said to Tech. “Maybe next time there won’t be an attack on a galactic monument.”
“In our line of work?” Tech replied. “Unlikely.”
With that, Tech activated the teleportation function on the SpecTrix, causing him, Aquadilus, and Alvono to disappear in a green light.
“Well, that was a bust.” Tech said, dropping into his office chair. “Now we have to wait until all the crap from this incident blows over.”
“It wasn’t a complete waste of time.” Aquadilus argued. “We at least got confirmation on the effectiveness of stasis charges.”
“Yeah, and what about what The Jester asked?” Alvono pointed out. “That’s gotta be a riddle or something.”
“If you can seriously decipher anything from that, more power to you.” Tech replied. “As for me, I didn’t get anything from it.”
“We can still go back once everything’s cleared up.” Alvono said. “What’s the big deal?”
“Dethrouge doesn’t seem like the type of person to wait around. I’m quite frankly a bit surprised he hasn’t attacked anyone else.”
“That’s a good point.” Aquadilus noted. “What has he even been doing this whole time?”
“I don’t know.” Tech replied, narrowing his eyes. “But I have a bad feeling about it.”
“Are you sure this super-weapon of yours will be worth the wait?” Dethrouge asked frustratedly. “I could have destroyed an impressive number of civilizations by now.”
“You’re thinking too small, Dethrouge.” The Puppet Master replied, welding together several intricate machine parts. “Why destroy things on a planet-to-planet basis? Do you have any idea how much time that would take?”
The Puppet Master finished welding, putting the completed components aside and starting to work on another set of parts.
“Once this machine is finished and fully charged, its power will dwarf even yours.” He continued. “The sheer destructive energy it will be capable of emitting can destroy entire systems in a single blast.”
“Just how do you plan on giving it that much power in the first place?” Dethrouge asked skeptically.
“Tell me, Dethrouge.” The Puppet Master responded. “Have you ever heard of a hypernova?”
- Magister Blue
- Magister Red
- Magister Yellow
- Xr. Nullamor
- Security Guard
- The Puppet Master
- The Void/The Jester
- Spiritualist (Debut)
- Golurth (Evolved into Ultimate Golurth)
- Tech, Alvono, and Aquadilus travel to the Archives of Oberon.
- The Archives of Oberon make their debut.
- Magisters Red and Yellow make their debuts.
- Napoleon Eldridge makes his Tech 10: Rebooted debut.
- Herculian makes his Tech 10: Rebooted Debut.
- Tech, Aquadilus, and Alvono meet Herculian and Napoleon for the first time.
- The Void reveals his finished body and appears in the corporeal world for the first time.
- Spiritualist makes his debut.
- Gravitar makes his modern-day debut.
- The Obsidian Death attack the Archives of Oberon.
- Heaven-Piercing Crimson Lotus Ultimate Golurth makes his debut.
- The episode's title is a pun combining the terms "Absolute Power" and "Knowledge Equals Power".