A Very Stupidity Force Holidius is a Hanukkah/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year/Tu Bishvat/Festivus special for BTSF.
Ben realizes he forgot a lot of important holidays so he creates Holidius.
Ben is sleeping.
(Gwen): BEN WAKE UP
(Ben): No screw you mommy
(Kevin): Ben seriously you've slept for like a month. Wake up, there's an episode.
Ben jumps out of bed.
(Rook): Ben, we've missed some really important holidays. Omi forgot to make the Hanukkah special.
(Ben): OMI YOU JERK
(Rook): Anyways, we've missed Hannukah, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Kwanzaa, Festivus and Tu Bi'Shvat.
(Ben): Screw those holidays. I'm making a new one. (puts on glasses)
(Ben): Anyway faithful friends let me tell you the story of Holidius.
(Ben): A long ash fuqing time ago in a town called kickapoop
A turtle is sitting on a bench.
(Turtle): I like pie.
A Moustachian jumps up to him.
(Moustachian): DUDE THAT IS AWESOME WHAT IS YOUR NAME
(Turtle): Turtle Bob.
(Moustachian): HI MY NAME IS JOE HERE HAVE THIS TOILET
Turtle Bob set the toilet on fire.
(Moustachian): WOO HOLIDIUS
(Ben): So anyway Joe and Turtle Bob realized all other holidays sucked and made an awesome new holiday called HOLIDIUS on January 24th every year. They then started spreading the word of Holidius by murdering people who did not accept the new holiday.
Joe and Turtle Bob were running around with Uzis and pieces of paper. They run up to one guy.
(Joe): DO YOU ACCEPT TURTLE BOB AS YOUR SAVIOR
(Guy): Nah (gets shot) you suck (dies)
End of flashbaaack thiing
(Ben): Cocaine's a hell of a drug.
(Kevin):...you know I'd rather just wait for Valentine's Day or something.
(Ben): KEVIN NO THE HOLIDIUS SPIRIT
(Rook): What do you do on this... Holidius?
(Ben): Well, the whole family gathers up on the evening of January 24th to eat the traditional Holidius feast of pie, mustard, moustache beef and turtle urine.
(Ben): Then everyone gathers around the Holidius toilet, set it on fire, and sing Holidius songs.
(Gwen): Uhm... okay.
(Ben): Then there's the last part, which I'll keep a secret. Seriously though it's fuuuun
(Ben): (transforms into Atomix) CELEBRATE HOLIDIUS OR DIE FAITHFUL FRIENDS
(Kevin): Ugh, okay.
So that very night the Tennyson, Levin, and Rook families gathered together for an Holidius feast.
(Ben): YEAH HOLIDIUS WOO
(Max): Yay... I guess.
Meanwhile, in the Hubble Telescope, Morgan Freeman was sitting in his golden chair, his feet resting on Warwick Davis's head. A servant was standing next to him.
(Morgan Freeman): Why was I not Mandela flrgrhfr
(Servant): I don't know, sir.
(Morgan Freeman): Servant, I kindly ask you to show me what Ben Tennyson is doing now.
(Servant): Okay, Master Freeman.
He teleports in Johnny Depp, who is wearing an Oculus Rift VR headset.
(Johnny Depp): What's going on here? Where's Tim Burton?
The servant violently rips off the Oculus Rift from Depp's face, and straps it on Morgan Freeman's beautiful face.
(Johnny Depp): OH GOD WHY
The servant throws Johnny Depp into space, where he will rot for eternity with Sandra Bullock.
(Morgan Freeman): Okay then, let us see what Ben Tennyson is doing now.
Morgan Freeman sees Ben eating pie with the family.
(Morgan Freeman): Oh my. That's Holidius. Servant, launch me to the Tennyson household.
(Servant): Okay then.
The servant loads a catapult, and moves Morgan Freeman's chair onto it. He releases the catapult and launches Freeman back to Earth.
Meanwhile, in the Tennyson household.
(Ben): AND NOW (dramatic pause) MOUSTACHE BEEF
(Rook Shar): Seriously what the heck.
Suddenly, Morgan Freeman's golden chair crashes through the wall.
(Morgan Freeman): BEN TENNYSON HOW DARE YOU CELEBRATE HOLIDIUS
(Morgan Freeman): Tennyson.
(Max):...why is Morgan Freeman in our living room
(Ben): HE PLAYED GOD HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS
(Gwen): Excuse me Mr. Freeman, but why do you care about Holidius?
(Morgan Freeman): Let me recall it with an epic flashback.
Morgan Freeman steps off from his chair, and summons a sword to lean on.
(Morgan Freeman): It all began, twenty years ago...
Morgan Freeman flashback y'all
When Turtle Bob and Moustache Joe created Holidius, they went on a cleansing rampage of Holidius acceptance.
Joe and Turtle Bob went to a guy's house with an Uzi and a piece of paper.
(Joe): DO YOU ACCEPT HOLIDIUS
(Guy): Eh I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow (gets shot)
(Turtle Bob): HOLIDIUS!!!11!!
A young Morgan Freeman looks up from his book, and watches the horror.
(Morgan Freeman): UNCLE MOM NOO
And from that night, I swore vengeance against Turtle Bob and Joe, for killing my uncle, Momson Freeman.
End of Freeman Flashback y'all
(Morgan Freeman): Holidius killed my uncle. It is a bad holiday, Ben.
(Ben):...well, it has pie.
(Morgan Freeman): Pie... pie... pie? PIE? Pie is not a compensation for my lost uncle, Tennyson. Pie is a baked dish adored by millions across the globe. But pie is not enough. Many people died that day, Tennyson. They died for the creation of Holidius. Holidius is not a holiday created because Omi forgot to make a Hanukkah special. Holidius is why Satan wakes up in the morning and sips his grapefruit juice. Holidius is why we can't have nice things. Holidius is why people die. Holidius brought this episode to life, and it will finish it. Mark my words, Tennyson. Holidius will die tonight. It's time to plan the funeral.
Morgan Freeman pulls out a grenade launcher, and blows up the table.
(Morgan Freeman): THAT WAS FOR MOMSON!
(Ben): (transforms) PIE GUY!
Pie Guy launched a pie into Freeman's face.
(Freeman): (transform) Freestump!
Freestump threw an apple into Pie Guy's face.
(Pie Guy): APPLE PIE
Everyone ran away.
(Rook): ...what is going on
Pie Guy created a pie portal, and launches a pie bomb through it, blasting Freestump away. Freestump transformed into Morganmutt and pinned Pie Guy to the ground, devouring him.
(Pie Guy): NOO (transform) DEBTPAY
(Morganmutt): rrragrhgahgr y'all
Debtpay blasted Morganmutt away with a money blast. Morganmutt jumped at Debtpay, and clawed his suit.
(Morganmutt): (transform) THE MOST USELESS FREEMAN OF ALL TIME
(Debtpay): (transform) THE MOST USELESS ALIEN OF ALL TIME
They started wrestling, and punched each other in the face.
(Voice): STOP IT!
Turtle Bob and Joe descended from the heavens.
(TMUAOAT): ...Turtle Bob?
(Gwen): What the hell?
(Joe): We created Holidius not these fights. We created them for people to appreciate love, family, and pie. I believe that is something we can all agree on.
(TMUAOAT): He's right.
(TMUFOAT): I believe Mr. Joe is correct.
(Turtle Bob): We also created it because we sniffed too much cocaine that night.
(Joe): Yeah that's probably why it happened.
So Ben and Morgan detransformed.
(Ben): I'm sorry, Morgan Freeman. You were great in Batman.
(Morgan Freeman): Sorry Tennyson. I loved you in Ben's Birthday.
They hugged again, and Morgan Freeman whipped out a flipphone.
(Morgan Freeman): Servant, beam me a toilet.
A toilet was beamed down from space, and Ben set the toilet on fire.
It's a cool holiday
It always finds a way
(Morgan Freeman): Yay.
So they sang more songs around the toilet.
(Ben): Now, it's time for the festive Holidius cleansing.
(Gwen): That was the Holidius secret thing?
(Ben): Yeah, screw you Gwen.
(Morgan Freeman): You're cool. I like you.
They pulled out Uzis and started shooting people on the street.
(Rook): What just happened?
By Morgan Freeman
- Morgan Freeman
- Turtle Bob