The Hat-Wearing Man

The Hat-Wearing Man is the 57th episode of Ben 10: Stupidity Force.

Summary
Ben, Gwen and Kevin are chased by a Team Fortress 2 Spy who wants the hat power from Ben's hat aliens.

Plot
A Team Fortress 2 Spy comes to a chair in an evil place.

(Evil Master): So, I heard you want hat power.

(Spy): Yes, I want more hats. My hat abilities are depleting.

(Evil Master): Ben Tennyson has hat powers in some of his aliens.

(Spy): Good, one backstab and I get hattycharged!

(Evil Master): Make sure he is in a hat form though.

(Spy): I'm not that stupid, you know.

(Evil Master): Now, go! Get hattycharged!

(Spy): You know, it's obvious you are.

(Evil Master): SHUT UP NOBODY ASKED YOU

(Spy): (sigh) Okay.

THEME SONG

Ben, Gwen and Kevin are watching TV.

(Kevin): I need to pee.

Kevin went to pee.

Suddenly Kevin came into the house.

(Kevin): (in a French Accent) Hello, Gentlemen.

(Ben): Kevin why are you french?

(Kevin): Because... I ate too much croissants.

(Ben): In the bathroom?

(Kevin): Yes... because pooping makes me hungry for croissants.

(Ben): That makes sense.

(Gwen): Wait a minute, Kevin is peeing upstairs. He was just a second ago.

(Kevin): Errrr...

(Ben): SPY SAPPING MY MICROWAVE

His microwave exploded.

(Ben): The Kevin is a spy!

(Gwen): What?

(Ben): The Kevin is a spy!

(Kevin): Ben.. I am not a Spy. I am just Kevin.

(Ben): (punches Kevin in the face) No, you are a Spy! See? It hurt you!

(Kevin): If you punch Gwen in the face it will hurt too.

(Gwen): (gets punched) OW.

(Ben): But... the microwave...

(Gwen): Ben, the Microwave blows up every sunday.

Suddenly the Spy came in with a paper mask of Kevin.

(Spy): Bonjour.

(Ben): OMG TWO KEVINS

Kevin came down from peeing.

(Kevin): What the heck?

(Gwen): Wait... if Kevin ust came down from peeing... and that guy is the Spy... then who are you?

(French Kevin): The Kevin from ze French Dimension! VIVE LA DIMENSION!

(Ben): OMG TOO MANY KEVINS (transforms) CHEESE-aw wait I'm Ditto.

Ditto duplicated himself and jumped on the Kevins. All the Kevins had a huge fight with smoke and stuff, and then when the smoke cleared, there were three Kevins and three Ditto punching the Kevins. Suddenly a gun was thrown out of the smoke thing.

(Kevin): Shoot him, he's the fake Kevin!

(French Kevin): No, shoot him he's the fake Kevin!

(Ditto): Shoot him, he's the fake Ditto!

(Gwen): Wait.. why are there only two Kevins?

(Kevin): And four Dittos?



(Ditto): OH CARP

(Kevin): This sucks.

(Ditto): SHOOT HIM HE'S THE FAKE DITTO

(Gwen): WHY DO WE NEED TO SHOOT EVERYONE WHO IS A FAKE.

(Ditto): I don't know.

(Kevin): Just kick one and one of them won't jump around.

Kevin kicked one Ditto and they all jumped around.

(Ditto): OW

(Gwen): Okay, let me ask you Dittos this. Who was the first president?

(Ditto #1): CHUCK E. CHEESE

(Ditto #2): JOHNNY DEPP

(Ditto #3): YOUR MOM

(Ditto #4): Doctor Seuss.

Gwen shot Ditto #4.

(Gwen): You didn't use caps.

(Ditto): YAY FOR CAPS

Ditto #4 was a Spy!

(Spy): Well, you got me. Luckily, I still have 86 hp left. I'll still live long enough to kill you.

Ditto combined to one.

(Ditto): NOOO

Spy backstabbed Kevin!

(Kevin): AHHHHHHHHOhohoh

(Kevin): Don't worry it was French Kevin.

(Spy): Well, luckily real world physics affects me like video game physics.

SUDDENLY ENGINEER

(Engineer): Step away from them, Spy!

(Ditto): Wut.

(Spy): ENGINEER?

(Engineer): Don't listen to Hatty and his pictures of great hats. He'll do to you what he did to Heavy and Pyro!

(Spy): I need hats!

(Kevin): Wait... Hatty?

(Engineer): He's behind all this!

(Ditto): It's kinda obvious because this episode is named the Hat-Wearing Man.

(Engineer): QUICK TO THE TELEPORTER BEFORE HE BACKSTABS YOU

They ran into the Engineer's teleporter and teleported to some random desert place like a TF2 map.

(Kevin): Uhhh... what's going on?

(Engineer): The spy can sap any electronic devices. He can turn invisible, be disguised as someone, and one backstab will instantly kill you.

(Ditto): OMG (reverts to human) So what do we do?

(Engineer): Put on the Razorback so he doesn't stab you.

He gave them razorbacks. They put them on their backs.

Suddenly Eggy came through the teleporter!

(Eggy): Bawgawk.

(Ben): OMG EGGY I LUV U

(Eggy): Oh please.

(Ben): WOOT FRENCH ACCENTS

(Engineer): Ben, the Eggy is a spy!

(Ben): No, he's just Eggy.

Eggy backstabbed the Engineer and was revealed to be a Spy.

(Ben): DAMMIT WHY MUST YOU  BE RIGHT. (transforms) ULTIMATE HUMUNGOUSAUR

(Spy): Wait what?

(UH): I scrambled the Ultimatrix so I can turn into Ultimates without being stupid overused Humongosaur!

(Spy): Ohhh

UH blasted missiles at the Spy, and the Spy ran back to avoid them. He turned invisible.

(UH): HE'S INVISIBLE BLOW UP EVERYTHING

(Kevin): Ben, we're here too.

(UH): Ah fudge you guys.

Spy was on his back!

(Spy): PEEKABOO

(UH): MISSLES

The missles blew him up and everyone saw his gibs flying around.

(UH): Yay he's dead.

(Kevin): How will we get back home?

(UH): (transforms) USING CRASHHOPPER I WILL BOUNCE US HOME

(Kevin): Okay.

(Crashhopper): Get on my back and we will FLYYYY

(Gwen): Bounce.

(WEIRD OMINOUS VOICE OUT OF NOWHERE): You can become Hat Crashhopper for even more speed!

(Crashhopper): Woah! Thank you, weird ominous voice out of nowhere!

A hat appeared next to him. Crashhopper put the hat on the Ultimatrix symbol and slapped it, becoming HAT CRASHHOPPER!

(HC) SUPERSPEED ENGAGE

They ran really fast back home.

(HC): Carrying three people is tough on my back.

(Gwen): But it was only me and Kevin...

(Spy): SURPRISE I USED THE DEAD RINGER I AM NOT DEAD HAHA

(HC): OH NOES

The Spy shot Gwen and Kevin, and pulled out a knife.

(Spy): TIME FOR HAT POWER

(HC): no fudge you man (transform) TV!

(Spy): Oh come on.

He sapped TV,

(TV): Awww fudge you you deustchpickle.

(Gwen): HEALUS GUNSHOTTUS

Kevin and Gwen were healed.

(Gwen): POOTIS DISPENSURUS

The sapper fell off TV.

(TV): TV SUCKS (evolves) ULTIMATE TV!

Ultimate TV fired plasma at the Spy. Spy ran away and became invisible.

(Ultimate TV): Dammit. Well, he'll return. Meanwhile, put on your razorbacks!

THREE WEEKS LATER.

(Ben): WHERE THE HECK IS HE.

(Gwen): I can't sleep with this darn Razorback!

(Ben): How do we find an invisible Spy? HMMM

(Kevin): Uhhh, throw paint at him?

(Ben): I've got something better than paint.

(Kevin): What?

(Ben): BROWN PAINT (transforms) POOOOOOOP

(Gwen): Ben, stop turning into this guy!

(Poop): Time to poop up the whole city until I find the Spy!

He pooped up the whole city.

(Poop): WOAH FLOATING POOP A SPY!

It was Prisoner 775.

(Prisoner 775): Is this... OH GAWD.

(Poop): I thought you were a Spy. SORRY BYE

Poop was pooping everything until he found the Spy!

(Spy): This is worse than Jarate!

(Poop): NOW I FOUND YOU. STOP FOLLOWING US.

(Spy): Omelette du Fromage.

Poop's toilet malfunctioned and broke.

(Spy): Hohoho.

(Poop): NOOOO

The Spy stabbed the Ultimatrix symbol and sucked out the Hat Aliens!

(Spy): UNLIMITED HAT POWERRR

(Poop): NO HATS FOR YOU (transform) SWAMPFIRE!

(Spy): I can now dispose of you. Goodbye Ben, it was never a pleasure.

The Spy shot him, but he regenerated! Then Swampfire conjjured a fireball in his hand.



(Spy): Oh crap.

Swampfire set him on fire.

(Spy): I appear to have burst in flames.

(Swampfire): I NEEDS THE HAT ALIENS

(Spy): You won't get them.

(Swampfire): O RLY (transform) WHAMPIRE!

(Spy): .. this guy hasn't appeared yet in the series. You don't even know his powers.

(Whampire): He's a vampire, right? So that must mean...

He bit the Spy's neck, and absorbed the hat aliens back.

(Whampire): Ok I'm fine now.

(Spy): I'm still on fire.

(Whampire): Oh right. (transforms)  WESTERN CORN ROOTWORM! I have guns too, ye see, darn Frenchman?

WCRW shot the Spy, and the Spy dropped dead.

Kevin and Gwen came.

(WCRW): Hi, y'all!

(Kevin): Ben, the city is still filled with poop.

(WCRW): Oh, gosh darnit! What can I possibly do with all this poop everywhere? I know which alien can deal with this darn tootin' poop! (transforms) TROLL FACE! TROLOLOLOLOLOLO

Ben didn't clean up the poop. TROLOLOLOLOLO KEVIN AND GWEN AND EVERYONE IN THE CITY

Meanwhile, in the evil place, the spy respawned.

(Evil Master): How did you fail me?

(Spy): He... pooped on me.

(Evil Master): Oh.

(Spy): Sorry I failed you. But hey, do I still get a hat?

(Evil Master): Nope.

The evil master was revealed to be Hatty.

(Hatty): DUNDUNDUN

(Spy): It was obvious.

(Hatty): Well, here's something you won't expect.

Hatty jumped on his head and started sucking his achievements!

(Hatty): MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA

DUNDUNDUN

THE END

Aliens Used

 * Ditto
 * Ultimate Humongosaur
 * Crashhopper
 * Hat Crashhopper
 * TV
 * Ultimate TV
 * Poop
 * Swampfire
 * Whampire
 * Western Corn Rootworm
 * Troll Face

Characters

 * Ben
 * Gwen
 * Kevin
 * French Kevin
 * Engineer

Villains

 * Spy
 * Hatty
 * Prisoner 775 (cameo)