Big Fat Alien Wedding (Ryder 10)

Story
Ryder arrives at the Mr. Smoothy’s, as he storms through the displays. He finds Collectimus geeking out over the mask of the Puppet Master.

Ryder: That what I think it is?

Collectimus: (Excited) If you think it is Puppet Master’s mask, then you’re right! I got it from the Argit with the Omnitrix you fought beside.

Ryder: You mean that betrayed us. (He pulls out the Map Piece.) Here’s your stupid map piece.

Ryder tosses it at Collectimus, him freaking out, flying forward to catch it.

Ryder: Now, free Attea.

Collectimus: Oh, why so serious?! It’s not like you like her at all.

Collectimus presses a button, as the card that Attea’s in breaks apart, freeing her.

Attea: Oh, you are so going to pay for that. As soon as I tell my daddy!

Collectimus: Oh, I don’t think I have much to worry about. Now, Ryder. The next map piece is on the planet of Piscciss. They have an Anti-Gravity Generator holding the water planet together, which is in actuality, the Map Piece.

Ryder: It’s made entirely of water?

Collectimus: Yep. Besides where they keep the generator.

Ryder: Hm. So, I need a vehicle that can withstand the pressure of underwater, and a replacement generator.

Collectimus: I don’t care what you do. Now, go and get my map piece!

Ryder walks off, Attea following him.

Attea: You just going to let him talk like that?! You should completely kick his…

Ryder: I’ve tried before. His chair makes him invincible. What’s more, he has the cards stacked in his favor, so to speak.

They arrive at the Time Cycle, the two getting inside it. Ryder activates a computer function, getting on the extranet.

Attea: It seems like the best thing to do is to just blast through and take the generator thing.

Ryder: There’s a series of complications. This ship wasn’t designed to go underwater, the pressure will destroy it. Plus, I need a replacement generator so I don’t destroy the planet.

Attea: Don’t see what the problem, oh, right. You’re a goody two shoes.

Ryder: Maybe. But there’s no reason to destroy a planet. It’ll give me unwanted attention.

An email icon pops up, as Ryder opens it. He scans through it, getting an elated smile.

Ryder: Perfect! Kolar’s wedding is soon! I completely forgot about that.

Attea: Where?

Ryder: Khoros. The engagement period for Tetramands is three years long. And the planet is one of the best places to go for vehicle parts. Sorry, Attea, but I need you as my date.

Attea: (With attitude) Excuse me?! End Scene

Ryder and Attea are within the walls of the Khoros capital, where several people are exploring the vendors, filled with spaceship parts and technology.

Ryder: Perfect. The Khoros Car Show is at the same time. I can probably find exactly what I’m looking for.

Grick: Hey, that guy looks like Ryder!

Ryder turns, seeing Grick and Grack at a stand.

Grack: No, that guy looks like my brother!

Grick: Nah, he looks like my brother!

The two laugh at each other, as Ryder keeps walking, guiding Attea with him.

Ryder: Not from them.

Kolar: Ryder!

Kolar comes at them, having longer hair, a beard and more scars on his body.

Kolar: I wasn’t sure if you were coming.

Ryder: Yeah, sorry about not responding. It’s an honor to come to your wedding, and I was sorta kinda looking for something.

Kolar: It will have to wait. I need you to come with me.

Kolar grabs Ryder, dragging him along. Attea sighs in frustration, as she spots Eighteight buying a piece for her jetpack. She smiles mischievously, as she heads to her.

Attea: Eighteight. I have a message for you to send. With the promise of gold for your success.

Kolar and Ryder are brought to the sight of the wedding, a Tetramand Priest giving a speech, as Looma stands near him. Gar approaches Kolar and Ryder.

Gar: Ah, Ryder! You chose this human as your best man?

Kolar: I have. No one else is strong enough to back me.

Ryder: Uh, mind explaining what’s happening?

Gar: Certainly. You, having been chosen as the best man, will fight alongside Kolar through the suitors so he can claim his bride.

Ryder: If I wanted to get beat up at a wedding, I would’ve gone to an Earth wedding.

Kolar: If I don’t make it to her, these last three years will have been in vein. What’s more, I need your help, friend.

Ryder: (Sighs) Fine. After this, though, I’d like your help in finding something.

Ryder activates the Omnitrix, slapping it down. He transforms into Four Arms, startling the males in the crowd, standing at the ready.

Kolar: When’d you get a Tetramand form?

Four Arms: A while after you left. Now, (He punches his hands) let’s go punch stuff. I’m in that kind of mood.

Kolar and Four Arms charge into the crowd, as the male Tetramands all form up, packed in to prevent their movement. Four Arms punches the ground, the ground shifting and splitting the Tetramands. Kolar charges in arms crossed, tackling his way through them. Several of them draw battle weapons, as they swing clubs and maces at them. Kolar blocks some with his arms, while punching other Tetramands. Four Arms holds his position as a Tetramand pushes down on him.

Four Arms: Kolar! A little help!

Kolar swipes a club from a Tetramand, throwing it at the Tetramand, knocking him away. Four Arms retakes the club, spinning as he slams it into several Tetramands, throwing it straight as it strikes a Tetramand in the head. Four Arms jumps into the air, as he comes crashing down. However, he’s caught by several Tetramands, preventing his crash to the ground. He’s chucked back, hitting the ground.

Four Arms: We need something different. Kolar! You fine with soaring over them?!

Kolar: (Struggling) No! I must get through on the ground!

Four Arms: In that case, clear out!

Four Arms claps his hands together, creating a sonic clap, making a hole through the Tetramands. Kolar charges through, punching more Tetramands out of the way. Four Arms dashes in, and spins with his arms extended. Kolar manages to pile drive a Tetramand to the ground, and makes it through, arriving to the podium with the priest and Looma.

Tetramand Priest: And their love will burn as strongly as their battle lust! Now, do you, Kolar, take Looma as your fist-fully wedded wife?

Kolar: I do.

Tetramand Priest: And do you, Looma, take Kolar as your fist-fully wedded husband?

Looma: Oh, I do!

Tetramand: Then I now pronounce you, man and wife! You may punch your spouse.

Kolar and Looma stare into each other’s eyes lovingly, when they both swing a punch, hitting each other square in the face. Kolar has to snap his jaw back into place, as Looma rubs her jaw.

Four Arms: I take it back. This makes Earth weddings look tame. Though, we’ve yet to have the reception. End Scene

The reception occurs afterwards, it being a big party, with fights breaking out all over the place. Ryder and Attea walk through cautiously, Ryder keeping a hand in reach of the Omnitrix.

Ryder: Okay. I’m about done with this thing.

Attea: (Nervously) What?! But, this is the best of times! Please, Ryder, just a few more minutes?

Ryder: (Sighs) Fine. Glad to hear you’re having a good time.

Attea: Oh, I am! And I’ll be having an even better time pretty soon.

Voice: Ryder?

Ryder turns, seeing Ester behind him, wearing a stunning purple dress. He blushes for a moment, but shakes it off quickly.

Ryder: Oh, hey Ester. What are you doing here?

Ester: I got an invitation as well. Looks like both of us made an impression on him. I’m sure Kevin did too, but…

Ryder: We both know he’s not coming. Uh, (He pulls Attea over.) Ester, I want you to meet my date, Attea. Attea, this is Ester, an old friend.

Attea: (Snarkfully) Hello.

Ester: Uh, hi. I brought a date as well.

Ester signals someone over, it being Antonio, a large, muscular grey skinned alien in a biker’s outfit.

Ester: Antonio, this is my old friend Ryder. Ryder, this is Antonio, my, (She blushes) boyfriend.

Ryder: Boyfriend?!

Antonio: S’up?

Ryder: S’up to you?

The two just stare each other down for a moment, when Ester grabs Antonio’s arm, guiding him away.

Ester: Well, it was nice seeing you again!

Ester and Antonio disappear into the crowd, as Ryder lets out a groan of frustration.

Attea: You okay?

Ryder: No. I wanna punch stuff.

Ryder slaps down the Omnitrix, transforming into Eatle. Kolar punches several Tetramands away, as Eatle rams and punches another one, sending him flying.

Kolar: Ah, Ryder! I was wondering when you were going to join the festivities!

Eatle: I just suddenly got the desire to participate.

Laser blasts fall from the sky, exploding and terrifying the party goers. An Incursean battleship is in the sky, as it releases fighter pilots to swarm.

Attea: Yes! Daddy’s here!

Milleous: (Over speaker) Attention, Khoros! You hold a fugitive that stole something from me! Surrender him, and I won’t conquer your planet.

Attea: Hey, what about me?!

The Incursean ships rain down lasers at them, as the Tetramands fight back. They leap into the air, crashing into the fighter ships, destroying them easily. Eatle grabs a table, eating it. He fires lasers up to the sky, striking fighters and destroying them. His laser hits the main flagship, causing it to crash down in the desert in the distance. The Tetramands are outraged, all arguing among each other.

Gar: Enough! Who brought the Incurseans here?!

Ester shoves Attea into the middle, her hitting the dirt.

Ester: Ask this one. Being an Incursean.

Attea: Tsk! As if I wanted to come here! He’s the one who brought me here!

She points at Eatle, as he reverts. Ryder looks nervous, eyes wandering all over.

Looma: Ryder? Care to explain yourself, before you get pummeled with the invaders?

Ryder: Well, I, uh,

Ryder’s eyes keep moving, when they suddenly widen, as if formulating a plan.

Ryder: It, is your wedding present!

Looma: Wedding present?

Ryder: Uh, yeah. On Earth, guests to a wedding are supposed to bring a gift to the newlywed, who have already spent all their money on the wedding and reception to afford essential stuff, like cooking supplies or a bed. But, I didn’t have a clue what to get for Tetramands. I mean, what do you need? So, I settled with what I knew you liked, a bloody battle! Therefore, I kidnapped the Incursean Princess and brought her with me, bringing you an enemy to punch into the ground!

Attea: Bah! You really think anyone’s going to believe that?!

Looma: Oh, what a lovely gift! You certainly did choose the best best man for the job!

Kolar: Uh, yes, dear. Father Gar, what do you say?

Gar: Hm. This does seem like an entertaining endeavor. Everyone that is up for crushing some frogs, step forward and charge!

The Tetramands cheer, as they all charge forward, Looma carrying Attea with her. Ester and Antonio charge with the group, as Ryder is towards the lead.

Ester: And here I thought this would be a quiet event.

Ryder slaps down the Omnitrix, transforming into Viktor Stein. An army of Incurseans march, led by Jorgen von Strangle and Milleous.

Milleous: Gar! You’ve made your last mistake today! Prepare to be obliterated!

Gar: You’re the one who made the mistake. You decided to attack on my daughter’s wedding day, where all my forces are gathered.

Milleous & Gar: Attack!

The Tetramands charge in, as the Incurseans fire their blasters. The Tetramands push through, pummeling every Incursean they got their hands on. Looma tosses Attea away, as she swings her hammer to demolish the Incurseans. Some Incurseans hop in to attack, though are knocked away easily.

Viktor Stein: Oh, what a shock that you’re losing!

Viktor Stein charges his fists with lightning, punching several Incurseans away. He fires lightning from his towers, taking Incurseans out. Attea swipes a blaster from an Incursean, firing it at Viktor Stein. He takes them without flinching, as Ester stands in Attea’s path.

Ester: Don’t know what’s really going on. Don’t care. But you seem to be the problem.

Attea: Don’t make me laugh! It’s that Ryder that’s the problem.

Attea fires blaster shots at Ester, as she dodges with a small step. She then stretches and retracts her arm in the blink of an eye, sucker punching Attea without her realizing it till she drops. Attea falls over, as Ester scoffs, walking off.

Antonio punches several Incurseans, as Jorgen hops and kicks him away.

Jorgen: You pathetic creatures. You are no match for Jorgen von Strangle, toughest Incursean in the galaxy.

Kolar charges Jorgen, slamming his arms into him. Jorgen blocks it, then knees Kolar. Kolar catches the knee, as he lifts and slams Jorgen into the ground.

Kolar: Maybe one warrior alone can’t match you. But how about two?

Looma leaps into the air, coming down hard, driving her hammer into Jorgen, cratering the ground, a shockwave blowing other Incurseans back. Milleous groans, as he pulls out a small grey remote.

Milleous: Enough! Time for a little Techadon Dissipator. Ryder! This is what happens when you steal from me!

Milleous aims at Viktor Stein, as he presses the button. It fires a huge red laser, tearing down towards Viktor Stein. Gar hops into the path of the laser, crossing his arms and taking it. He groans slightly from the attack, dropping to his knees.

Viktor Stein: Gar! Oye, Milleous!

Viktor Stein shoots lightning at Milleous, who hops to dodge with ease. Milleous goes to stomp into Viktor Stein, as he’s caught in Viktor Stein’s hands. Viktor Stein electrocutes Milleous, then lets him drop.

Viktor Stein: I have something important to tell you.

Viktor Stein reverts, as he pulls out the map, handing it to Milleous. Milleous takes it suspiciously, then puts it away.

Ryder: We good?

Milleous: Yeah. We’re good. Incurseans! Retreat!

Milleous pulls back to the flagship, as the other Incurseans follow. Several Incurseans work to drag Jorgen back, as a couple carry Attea back. The Tetramands cheer, Looma giving Kolar a bear hug.

Looma: Oh, that was spectacular! Let’s invite them again sometime!

Kolar: Sure dear.

Ryder goes over to Gar, helping him stand.

Ryder: You alright, sir?

Gar: That invasion wasn’t a wedding gift, was it?

Ryder: No. Sorry about the Incurseans ruining the reception.

Gar: On the contrary, I think it made it perfect. Is there anyway I can repay you?

Ryder: Well, I’m looking for a way to make my vehicle submersible. You have anything that can do that?

Gar: Show me your vehicle, and I’ll see what we can do.

Ryder and Gar walk with each other, as they past Ester and Antonio, who kiss. Ryder looks away, as Ester watches Ryder go by.

Ester: At least he isn’t grieving anymore. Which means he’s keeping busy. Don’t know if that’s good or bad.

Characters

 * Ryder
 * Kolar
 * Looma Red Wind
 * Gar Red Wind
 * Grick & Grack
 * Ester
 * Antonio

Villains

 * Collectimus
 * Incurseans
 * Attea
 * Milleous
 * Jorgen von Strangle
 * Eighteight

Aliens Used

 * Four Arms (first re-appearance)
 * Eatle (first re-appearance)
 * Viktor Stein (first re-appearance)

Trivia

 * The re-occurring phrase "I wanna punch stuff" comes from an episode of Disney XD's show "I'm With the Band."
 * Ester is revealed to now have Antonio as a boyfriend.
 * Kolar, who got engaged to Looma in the previous series in Rules of Engagement (Ryder 10), finally gets married. This reveals that it's been exactly three years in the series since that episode.
 * Ester states that Ryder is grieving, over what we don't know. This hints that she sees him again after leaving the team in the previous episode.