En Garde

Story
It’s nighttime, and Argit is waiting in the back of a dark alley.

Argit: Urgh! I hate waiting for meets. This guy better show up soon. (Argit turns, and almost bumps into a cloaked figure.) Ahhhh! Don’t do that!

Figure: You the guy who can get anything asked for?

Argit: Only if the price is right. Now, what do you want?

Figure: An alien DNA database, which has every known alien in the galaxy.

Argit: What!? The only complete database like that is in the Plumbers database.

Figure: That’s why I came to you. Someone who can easily get in and out.

Argit: Forget it! I’m not risking getting caught by the Plumbers. I’m out of here. (Argit starts to walk away, when the figure pulls out a briefcase, and opens it, filled with taydenite. Argit runs back instantly.) Whoa! How much is this?

Figure: $5 million in taydenite. And $5 million more once I get the database. (He then closes the briefcase, offering it to him.)

Argit: All right, I’ll do it. Besides, it’s an easy job anyway. (Grabs the briefcase, and walks off. The figure turns around, and walks the other way.)

End Scene

The Rustbucket is flying through space, heading towards the Plumbers Academy.

Gwen: Why are we doing this again?

John: Seriously. We have better things to do than be guest speakers.

Kevin: As Plumbers, it’s our job to inspire the next generation of Plumbers.

John: Surely there’s someone plotting to destroy Earth, or the universe.

Kevin: That’s why we were asked to speak, as we’ve saved the universe more times than we care to count. Besides, everyone knows the name John Smith.

John: (Sighs) Fine. But you’re giving the speech.

Kevin: Okay with me.

They arrive at the base, where they are met by Tack.

John: Tack! Thought you graduated.

Tack: I did. I became an assisting officer, and helping Magister Hulka to train new recruits. Come on. Hulka is waiting for you. (They walk through the halls, passing rookies. They arrive at Magister Hulka’s office.)

Hulka: John! Glad you made it.

John: Of course. Glad to be here.

Hulka: The candidates are anxious to hear from you. Also, would you be interested in helping the recruits with a training exercise afterwards?

Kevin: We’d be glad to.

Hulka: Great! Tack, gather the candidates.

Tack: Yes, sir! (Tack runs off. John and Gwen give dirty looks at Kevin.)

Kevin: What? (The group leaves for the assembly room.)

Elsewhere on the base, a Plumbers’ ship enters the base, and the Plumbers leave it. Once they were gone, Argit comes off of the ship.

Argit: Getting in, easy. Getting the info, easy. Getting out, that’s going to be the trick.

Argit runs off, and sneaks through the base. He makes his way to an information room, where he encounters a Plumber. Argit fires quills at him, causing him to fall asleep. Argit goes into the room, and puts a flash drive into the computer.

Argit: Alright. Now, where is it?

End Scene

The training mission is beginning. They enter a simulation of a canyon.

Gwen: I can’t believe that you got us into this, Kevin.

John: Especially after the blunder in your speech.

Kevin: It’s not my fault that these kids have no attention span. In my opinion, a good butt-kicking is just what they need.

John: Yeah. I’ll do the fighting, thank you. It’s capture the flag, so I’ll go through and push through them. You guys take out anyone who gets past me, and guard the flag.

Gwen: Really? You’re going to beat up all these trainees?

John: No, just have fun with them.

Hulka: Training exercise begin!

John runs out towards the center of the canyon, where he is surrounded by trainees, led by Tack.

Tack: Freeze! (John looks around, seeing the cadets were nervous.)

John: (sigh) Rule 1 of battle. Never reveal your position or weapons unless the enemy moves to attack.

One of the trainees fire, and the others join as well.

Tack: Hold fire! Hold fire! (John turns into Chromastone, absorbing all the lasers.)

Chromastone: Rule 2 of battle. Never assume your target is defenseless.

Chromastone fires ultraviolet rays at them, forcing the trainees to retreat.

Tack: Hold position! Hold!

Then, an ultraviolet ray hits a cliff, and boulders fall, scaring all the trainees. On of them charges at Chromastone, with a laser lance in hand. He goes to stab Chromastone. Chromastone shifts to Goop, and allows the attack to connect. He then pulls the laser lance in, and melts it with his acid.

Goop: Rule 3 of battle. Keep as far as way as you can from your foe, unless you are trained in hand-to-hand combat. (Goop then punches the trainee, sending him flying.)

Tack: Aim for the Anti-Gravity Projector! Without it, he’s powerless.

The trainees raise their blasters, and fire, trying to hit him. Goop flies and dodges the attacks, and steals the blasters from the trainees, melting them all.

Goop: Rule 4 of battle. Always be ready to improvise.

Gwen has a small group of trainees wrapped in mana.

Kevin: They thought they could surprise us.

Gwen: And John is just out there, playing around while we do nothing. I’m ready to get out of here.

Kevin: Noted. Watch the flag. I’ll go get theirs. (Kevin runs off.)

Fasttrack is running around, getting close to trainees, as they swing at him with their fists. They all miss, and Fasttrack goes over and knocks Tack over.

Trainee: Commander Tack! Are you alright?

Tack: Yeah. We need a new plan. Lead him over here.

Trainee: Yes, sir! (The trainee runs off.)

Tack: You! (Pointing to another trainee.) Give me a hand.

Fasttrack was running around, as the Plumbers were trying to catch him.

Fasttrack: Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can’t catch me. (A trainee approaches Fasttrack, and Fasttrack turns to escape. He runs, and trips, skipping across the ground and hitting the cliff, boulders falling onto him.

Tack: Okay, you can let go now. (A trainee was holding Tack’s head, his neck stretched out. The trainee lets go, and his neck snaps back.) Be on your guard, trainees! This isn’t over yet. (A stream of water shoots out of the boulder pile. Water Hazard stands up, pushing boulders off of him.)

Water Hazard: Ugh. Nice move, Tack. However, not good enough. (Water Hazard raises his hands, and the ports on the palm of his hands open. He fires his water cannons, forcing the trainees back.

Trainee: Sir! The water comes out of holes in his hands. If we plug them.

Tack: Brilliant idea. You four, work on getting behind him. The rest of us, start throwing rocks or something.

Tack and the trainees start throwing rocks at Water Hazard. Water Hazard raises his hands, and the water forms into a shield.

Water Hazard: Okay. They definitely get an A for improv, a B for stalling, but D for doing any damage. (Then, two short trainees jump onto him, grabbing his body. Two others grab his hands, and shove rocks into the ports. Water Hazard is able to grab one of trainees on him, and throws him at the others. He then throws the second one off.) You guys are persistent. (He raises his hands, trying to fire his water cannons. Then, his arms start to bloat, as the pressure builds.) Not good.

Water Hazard shifts to Humungousaur, crushing the rocks in his hands. He swings his arms, hitting the trainees and knocking them away.

Humungousaur: Very nice. You guys might actually pose a threat to me in the future. (He turns, and sees the two trainees holding down Tack’s body, while two more are pulling Tack’s head, stretching his neck to the absolute limit. They then let go, and Tack’s neck shoots forward, stretching and hitting Humungousaur square in the chest. Humungousaur is knocked into the canyon, and he reverts.

John: Ugh. Ow. (Tack’s head retracts.)

Tack: Great job team. We won.

Kevin: Not really. (They all turn, and see Kevin with their flag.) We win the mission, but you won the fight. (Kevin jumps down.) You really let them beat you like that?

John: Uh, yeah, yeah. Of course. It’s not like they actually defeated me.

Tack: John, thank you. This experience is exactly what these trainees needed. It’s hard to get them motivated without an actual crisis.

John: Of course. Keep at it. You’re doing a fine job in training them. Take care.

Argit boards the Rustbucket, with the flash drive in hand. He goes into a closet, and collapses, seemingly dead. John’s group then boards the ship, and it takes off, heading back to Earth.

End Scene

That night, Argit was waiting in the same alley.

Argit: I told him that I had it. Where is? (He turns, and the cloaked figure was in his face again.) Ahh! I told you not to do that.

Figure: You have it?

Argit: Yeah. (Pulls out flash drive) Right here. (Argit gives it to the Cloaked Figure.) Now, the money.

Figure: In a moment. (Pulls out a computer.) I need to make sure the files there. (He plugs the flash drive in. He types, and a few minutes later, he takes the flash drive out.) It’s all there. (Hands the briefcase to Argit.) Pleasure doing business with you.

The figure turns away, and Argit fires his quills at the figure, hitting him and causing him to fall, asleep. His hood is removed, revealing Aggregor.

Argit: A pleasure doing business indeed. (Argit bends down and takes the flash drive off of Aggregor, puts it in his pocket, and walks off.)

Characters


 * John Smith
 * Gwen Tennyson
 * Kevin Levin
 * Tack
 * Magister Hulka
 * Trainees

Villains

 * Argit
 * Aggregor

Aliens

 * Chromastone
 * Goop (first re-appearance)
 * Fasttrack
 * Water Hazard
 * Humungousaur (first re-appearance)

Trivia

 * It's revealed that Tack has become the assistant to Hulka.
 * Tack and his team of trainees defeated John in battle.
 * Argit pulls out of his deal with Aggregor, obtaining the database and the money.