How To Make A Reality TV Show Part 2: AUDITIONS!!!

This is the second episode of the hit new series, User Reality Show with Kross and Newbie. In this second part of the amazing How to Make A Reality Show trilogy, Kross and Newbie are interviewing the people that will appear on the Reality Show, HILARITY ENSUE!

Plot
(Kross and Newbie were sitting in the Auditions room)

Newbie: Now, Kross, it's time for auditions. Let's interview these stooges and see if they are Reality TV worthy

Kross: OK. I want a rich kid and a dragon

Newbie: Yeah, in your dreams, Kross, in your dreams

Kross: AWW MAN

Newbie: Now, let the auditions begin

Kross: Now, what's your name?

Weirdo: Weirdo Guy

Newbie: Your name is Weirdo

Weirdo: WHY DID YOU CALL ME THAT?

Kross: I like him

Newbie: Umm...Weirdo

Weirdo: DON'T CALL ME THAT, PLEASE (Starts crying)

Kross: But… Weirdo

Weirdo: WHY ME? (Cries some more)

Kross: Geesh, what a cry baby

Newbie: Well, we do need some overdramatic nutjobs in our Reality TV...you're hired

Weirdo: Hooray

Kross: Now, go away, Weirdo

Weirdo: WHY DO YOU MOCK ME?

Newbie: Next...

ET: Hello...my name is ET

Newbie: I don't like you, next

ET: Hello...my name is ET

Kross: I see double

Newbie: You always see things double, Kross… Wait, didn't I kick you out, before

ET: NO!!!

Newbie: Next...

ET: Hello... my name is ET

Newbie: Are you mocking me?

ET: NO!!!

Newbie: NEXT!!!

ET: Hello...my name is ET

(Newbie is getting angry)

Newbie: WHY DO YOU KEEP ON COMING TO THIS AUDITION?!?

Kross: I am SO CONFUSED

Newbie: I KICKED YOU OUT THREE TIMES ALREADY!!!

(Four ETs suddenly appear)

Kross: I think they are clones

Newbie: Naw...don't be ridiculous

All Four ETs: Hello... my name is ET

Newbie: What the...

Kross: I was right

Newbie: What the...

(A 5th ET, whom is wearing googles, enters the audition room)

ET5: Sorry. I was looking for my clones

Newbie: WOW… I WAS RIGHT, KROSS

Kross: HEY

Newbie: Hey, you too, Kross

ET5: So did I make the audition

Newbie: Well, Clones are interesting (If not related to George Lucas) You're hired

All the ETs: HOORAY!!!

Kross: Those clones look... TASTY!!!

(Kross jumps and eats one of the ETs)

Newbie: Run away

(All the other ETs run away)

Kross: Sorry, I couldn't control myself (Burps up ET's eye) NEXT!!! (Sniffs the air) I spell money

Mazter: Hello, my name is Mazter, I am a bureaucrat and I will be in this Reality Show

Newbie: Who says?

Mazter: My friend, Mr. Check (Hands Newbie and Kross a check)

Kross: WOAH! THAT’S A LOT OF ZEROES!

Newbie: You’re hired

Mazter: I know I am

Newbie: NEXT!!!

CL: Hello, I’m CL

(Newbie shoots CL)

Newbie: You’re hired.

(CL is on the floor bleeding)

CL: Help…me!

Newbie: NEXT!!!

Binks: Hello, my name is Binks

(Kross and Newbie start blushing)

Kross: I like her

Binks: What's that?

(Points to CL's still bleeding dead body)

Newbie: Nothing

Kross: Well, I see you got wings

(We see Binks has giant wings)

Binks: Oh, yeah! My mom really busy

Kross: OK

Newbie: Well, she is... a girl. We need one of those or it'll get really weird

Kross: You're hired, Binks!

Binks: Yeah... (Sees CL) Are you going to clean that?

Newbie: Yeah, later

Kross: NEXT!!!

Dan: Hey, I’m Dan (Sees CL) What happened to that guy?

Kross: Newbie shot him

Dan: Oh, okay

Newbie: Don't tell me that I could get arrested and go to jail...AGAIN!

Dan: Again?

Kross: Don’t ask. It’s a really LONG story

Newbie: So what the fudge are you, Dan

Dan: I’m a mutant and a really good video game player

Kross: Well, can you beat us in Halo: Reach

---10 Minutes Later---

Newbie: You beat us… you’re hired. NEXT!!!

Kross: Hey, are you going to hire everyone at the audition

Newbie: NO!!!

Charbel: Hey, I’m Charbel

Newbie: You’re hired

Kross: Oh, god

Newbie: NEXT!!!

Brian: I'm Brian and I can turn into a dragon

Newbie: You're lying

(Brian burns Newbie's head)

Newbie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Kross: I like him… You’re hired!

Newbie: (Runs around with his head aflame) HELP ME!

Brian: (Talking to the audience) I got the part!

Kross: Who are you talking to?

Brian: The wall (To Wall) Hi, Wall

Kross: Oh, god (Facepalms) NEXT!

Newbie: Who's next?

(Rockets crashes into the Audition room)

Kross: What the?

Rocket: Hey, I’m Rocket (Drinks a Root Beer)

Newbie: Well, that was different

Rocket: So, do I have the job?

Kross: As long as you promise to never do that again, I almost got a heart attack... and my heart doesn't even beat

Newbie: NEXT!!!

(Ancy suddenly flashes into the room)

Ancy: Hello, Y'all. My name is Ancy, I am a Time Master. Want a jelly bean?

(Ancy hands Newbie and Kross a bag of jelly beans)

Kross and Newbie: YOU BET!

(Kross and Newbie gobble up all the jellybeans)

Ancy: I know you'd enjoy it

Newbie: What so you're a Time Master?

Kross: Like Paradox?

Ancy: Naw, I'm different

Newbie: How…

Ancy: Umm…Well… I’m younger

Kross: You’re eternal

Ancy: …Looking

Newbie: Well, he’s got a point

Kross: Yeah

Newbie: You're hired

Ancy: I knew I would… In fact, I know everything in the universe

Kross: Like what?

Ancy: Well, 2012 isn’t going to be the end of the world

Newbie: Dangit

Kross: NEXT!!!

(Omi was sitting on his seat eating a bag of chips)

Omi (Mouthful of food): Hi, my name is BEECH!

Newbie: You’re hired, BEECH!

Kross: Why did you hire him?

Newbie: Our show needs a fat idiot!

Kross: Why do we need that?

Newbie: People can have someone to mock to make them feel better

Kross: You’re a weird man, Newbie

Newbie: I know

Kross: NEXT!!!!

UH: Hello, my name is UH! The initials mean Ultimate Hero

Newbie: Really, I though it meant Ugly Hag!

UH: Oh, how charming

Kross: You’re not a hero, UH!

UH: Yes, I am. I saved my neighbor’s cat from a tree like 49 times, already.

Kross: Did you save the world like Ben 10?

UH: Of course, not. He's just an arrogant teenager

Kross: You are lucky that I just got accepted in the Albedo Fan Club on Deviant Art… or else, I would have…

Newbie: Kross, NO! Don’t eat him! WE NEED, UH! He’s just the big-headed idiot we need! He’s perfect for the show!

Kross: I wasn’t going to eat him!

Newbie (Sarcastic): Yeah, sure! And I didn’t just shoot CL cold, right now! Speaking of which, is someone going to mop him up? Seriously, he’s leaving a stain on the carpet

Kross: Either way, that ET clone filled me up and all I want is a root beer

Newbie: Here, have this (Hands Kross a root beer) I stole that from Rocket!

Kross: Sweet

Newbie: You’re in, UH!

UH: Great! Now, I can add this to my Hero Record!

Newbie: NEXT!!!

Jon: Hi, my name is Frank

Kross: Your profile says you’re name is Jon

Jon: The profile is a liar. It’s full of dirty lies

Newbie: You mean lies like you have a girlfriend

Jon: Yeah, and that I was the President of North Korea for one month

Newbie: I see… (Whispers to Kross) The guy is a complete idiot, Kross, he’s perfect.

Kross: I agree. Reality Shows are filled with idiots!

Newbie: You’re hired, idiot, I mean, Frank, I mean, Jon, I mean… oh, shoe it, you’re an idiot… and get out of our audition studio!

Jon: OK! (Leaves the place)

Newbie: OK, I did we got enough people

Kross: Yeah!

Lumin: Wait, you forgot me!

Newbie: Oh, you're hired

THE END… OR IS IT?!?