One Man's Trash

Two men in white and black clothing that look similar to a racoon are in a jail cell, locked up in Incarecon.

(Guy 1): So what's the plan? How we gettin out of here?

(Guy 2): No, no, no, Hermes. Do not think to leave yet. We must use our time wisely. We must use our time here to get what we want...

(Hermes): What do you mean, Kuroth?

(Kuroth): There's a dump in the left intersection of the prison. Rumors spread, that one guy found six diamonds and got away with it!

(Hermes): So you're saying we should break in into the dump, Kuroth?

Kuroth got up from his bench, and started putting on his black gloves.

(Kuroth): As nasty as it sounds, we could get rich in there!

(Hermes): I dunno...

(Kuroth): Trust me. It'll be worth it.

A security guard passes by.

(Kuroth): YO! We'd like to do our evening duties!

(Guard): You have two options. One, kitchen cleaning, or two, garbage duty.

(Kuroth): Garbage duty.

The guard opens up the bars. Kuroth pulls out a tazer from his pocket, and tazes him with it.

(Kuroth): Come on out, Hermes!

Hermes comes out.

(Hermes): There better be stuff to take at the dump, Kuroth. Cause if not, you better pay me big time!

(Kuroth): If we get caught, we'll both not have any money! So shut it!

They sneakily pass by four halls.

(Guard): HEY! WHATCHU DOIN IN THIS AREA!

A guard runs up to Kuroth and Hermes and tackles them.

Hermes kicks the guard, and tazes his back.

(Kuroth): Now you're learning, Hermes...

They pass by two other intersections, and make there way to the dump. Hermes holds his nose.

(Hermes): If we find riches, remind me to wash 'em!

Kuroth starts digging. He finds a energy sword and two energy bows.

(Kuroth): What'd I say? Priceless...

Theme song!

Matt, Dwayne and Alex are in Dwayne's room in the plumber base. They're sitting down at the table.

(Matt): Thanks for the breakfast, Dwayne!

(Dwayne): No problem.

Alex gulps his plate down, and shows his plate to Dwayne.

(Alex): More plz!

Dwayne goes to the microwave, and pulls out more food. He puts it on Alex's plate. Alex gulps it down.

(Alex): MORE PLZ

(Dwayne): Ugh....

(Matt): Anyone know where Eric is?

(Alex): I think....he...*chews* slept in. He should be coming any minute.

Eric's room....

Eric is on his bed, facing his back towards the ceiling. The window peers open....

(Eric): Mom, close the windows....sun's too brigh-

A humanoid snake with a darth vader helmet comes in through the window.

(???): I AM DARTH VIPER....AND LUKE...I AM YOUR FATHER....

(Eric): Wut

(Darth Viper): SSSSSSSSSSSS

Eric slaps his watch and becomes Crashhopper.

(Eric): AND I AM THE GUY WHO IS ABOUT TO KICK YOUR SORRY BUTT

(Darth Viper): HISSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dwayne's room....

(Dwayne): Yeah, he probably slept in.

(Alex): MORE PLZ

(Dwayne): No more for you!

(Alex): Gimme the waffles!

(Dwayne): NO!

Alex and Dwayne tumble onto the ground, fighting. Alex jumps up with a waffle in his mouth.

(Alex): HEH

(Dwayne): OH NO YOU DON'T

Dwayne tackles Alex back down to the ground. Eric comes in through the door, with a rope tied to Darth Viper.

(Eric): STAHP SQUIRMING!

(Darth Viper): ONCE YOU COME TO THE DARK SSSSSIDE WITH ME

(Eric): Never!

Eric takes off the serpent's mask.

(Darth Viper): NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Darth Viper passes out.

(Eric): Sorry i'm late.

Dwayne and Alex jolt up, and embarrasingly put the waffle box behind their backs. They blush.

(Dwayne): Nah, it's okay....

(Alex): Yeah, heh, breakfast?

Later....

They four are in the main section of the plumber base. They're carrying Viper to Dwayne's ship.

(Dwayne): Why can't we just throw this guy in the null void?

(Matt): Cause, all null void projectors are down. Plumbers said they're improving the portals.

(Dwayne): Ah. So...instead, we have to go all the way to incarcecon?

(Eric): Yeah. Nearest alien prison.

(Dwayne): But i'm sure the plumbers can lock him up here!

(Eric): Well, Viper actually escaped Incarcecon. He was there in the first place, but he managed to flee.

They loaded Darth Viper in the truck of the ship. The four got in.

(Darth Viper): THE SSSSITH WILL KILL YOU ALL

Dwayne shut the trunk on Viper, and quieted him down.

(Matt): That's better.

The ship drove off.

At Incarcecon....

Kuroth was ontop of the dump with two laser guns, and fully equipped with the highest tech of armor. Hermes wasn't equipped at all.

(Kuroth): Man, who could throw this stuff away?!

(Hermes): The plumbers.

(Kuroth): You're absolutely right. The plumbers must've thrown stolen objects into the dump!

(Hermes): So we're stealing stolen objects?

(Kuroth): Don't think of it that way. Think of it as a way to freedom given to us by the other prisoners!

Three guards came in.

(Guard 1): Cleaning out garbage at a prison. Worst job ever, but at least my check is high at the end of the month.

(Guard 2): I'm just sent here to do this. My job is handling the prisoners, and only get 20 bucks a month!

(Guard 3): That's awful.

(Kuroth): Not as awful as you!

Kuroth came in, sliding off the garbage and shooting the guards. He took out his energy sword, and hit the second guard with it. The guard kicked Kuroth, but he dodged. The other two guards tried to butt in, but Hermes smacked them both in the head, and kicked their guts.

(Guard 1): YOU! WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?

(Hermes): I'm Hermes, and that is Ku-

(Kuroth): NO! WE ARE THE RACCON-MEN!

(Guard 1): Raccon? As in Raccoon?

The guards laughed.

(Kuroth): FEAR US, GUARDS! OUR ENEMIES WILL LAUGH NO LONGER, FOR THEY MUST DEAL WITH THE WORLD'S TOP CRIMINALS! THE RACCON-MEN! WE ARE THE RACCOONS OF THE BLACKMARKET, WE ARE THE CRIMINALS OF THE WORLD! NO ONE WILL BE IN OUR WAY ANY LONGER!

The guards tried to attack, but Kuroth yet again whipped them with his lasso he found. Hermes jumped in, and pounded the guards. The third guard tried to hit Hermes, but Kuroth handed him an energy sword. Hermes hit with the energy sword and wacked the guard into the wall.

(Hermes): You're-you're right, Kuroth. This is fun! Gimme whatcha got!

(Kuroth): THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR, BROTHER!

Commercial!

The team parked their ship in a bay right next to the alien prison. The four get out, carrying Viper.

(Darth Viper): LET ME GO!

(Matt): ONCE WE GET INSIDE!

They go to the main doors, where they open up automatically. They walk to the main center. The guards seem to be absent. Immediately after, they take notice of four plumbers running down the hall.

(Plumber 1#): WE GOT A PROBLEM DOWN IN THE MAIN DUMP!

(Plumber 2#): I'M FOLLOWING YOUR LEAD, SIR!

They drop Darth Viper in the main desk.

(Matt): Um....let's go check it out.

(Dwayne): Good idea...

The four run after the plumbers. They head into the dump, where Hermes and Kuroth are equipped with the highest tech of armor, and the highest tech of weapons.

(Kuroth): STEP AWAY, PLUMBERS! NO ONE CAN MASTER THE TURBO-BLASTER GUN!

Kuroth shot it at one plumber, but Eric jumped infront of the plumber and absorbed the blast. Kuroth stepped back.

(Kuroth): Who-who are you?!

(Eric): Me? I'm just your everyday park employee plumber shapeshifter. Who happens to be a conductoid.

Eric blasts the laser at Kuroth, and he slides down the pile of trash.

(Eric): Score one for the garbage men!

(Kuroth): WE AREN'T GARBAGE MEN! WE ARE THE RACCON MEN!

(Eric): The Raccon men? Makes sense. Especially since the fact that you're using trash for your weapons....just like a Raccoon.

(Kuroth): Arguably GOOD trash!

Kuroth shot Eric again, but Eric absorbed the electricity and shot it back at him.

Hermes pressed a button on the center of his chestplate, and the armor grew upon his arm. The arm became consumed with an arm blaster. Hermes shot a blast at Matt, but leaped up in mid-air and sucked onto Hermes. Matt took control of Hermes armor, and started shooting Kuroth.

(Matt): How about your own taste of your own TRASH?

Hermes got blasted into air, falling down on his chest to the ground.

(Matt): Now how about that?

At the main center of Incarcecon...

(Darth Viper): One day my ssssssssonnnnn....one day.......

Darth Viper slithered away from the main desk and dissappeared in the shadows.

At the Dump....

Alex slaps his Omnitrix and becomes Swampfire.

(Alex): SWAMPFIRE

Alex grew vines around the trash pile, and crunched them together. The trash broke into shards.

(Kuroth): NO! ALL GOOD MATERIALS! GONE TO WASTE! YOU WILL PAY!

Alex blasted a heat ball at Kuroth. Kuroth dodged, and shot a laser at Alex. A hole formed in his chest.

(Alex): That's the best you got?

The hole regrew. Alex threw another fireball, and knocked Kuroth off his feet.

Dwayne slapped his iOmni and became Speeddemon.

(Dwayne): Let's clean this up! That's the best you got?!

He sped around and kicked the two Racconmen. He punched them twice, sped up, then pushed Hermes towards Kuroth to punch him. Hermes fell forwards and incidentally punched Kuroth.

(Kuroth): Ow!

(Hermes): I didn't mean-

(Kuroth): I know you did-

Dwayne sped as fast as a tornado, and shot Kuroth to the ceiling. He whipped Kuroth with his tail, and he fell to the ground.

(Dwayne): Time flies when you're having fun!

Hermes targeted Dwayne with his laser tech arm equipment. He shot a laser at perfect timing, and blasted Dwayne away.

(Dwayne): YOW!

Eric slapped his Omnitrix and became Shocksquatch.

(Eric): SHOCKSQUATCH!

Eric shot an electric laser at Hermes. Hermes fell down, unconscious. Kuroth tried to get up, but Matt jumped on his back holding him down.

(Matt): Not happening.

Later...

(Plumber #1): Thanks for the help.

(Plumber #2): Yeah...why were you guys here anyways?

(Eric): As you can see, we wanted to turn in an escaped prisoner.

Eric looks back, and sees nothing behind him.

(Dwayne): He escaped...

(Plumber #1): Who did?

(Matt): Viper.

(Plumber #1): That nut...last time I saw him, he had a lightsaber in his hand.

(Plumber #2): Speaking of escaping...

(Plumber #1): The Raccon men won't be playing with trash anymore.

The Raccon men are being dragged away into their jail cells, empty handed.

(Kuroth): I HAD EVERYTHING...

(Hermes): SHUT IT! YOU GAINED US FOUR MORE MONTHS IN HERE FOR BREAKING OUT!

(Kuroth): YOU SHUT IT!

(Matt): Well, we best be off.

(Kuroth): PLEASE...ERIC....HELP US....

(Eric): If you steal the trash, you gotta be treated like trash. That's the way it goes.

(Matt): Yeah, guys. Don't you have anything better to do?

The team got into their ship and left.

 

In the Raccon-men's jail cell....

(Kuroth): I heard there was energy food at the kitchen. Let's go...

(Hermes): Don't even think about it.

Aliens Used

 * Shocksquatch (Eric)
 * Speed-Demon (Dwayne) (First debut)
 * Swampfire (Alex) (First re-appearance)
 * Crashhopper (Eric)

Trivia

 * This is the first episode non-involved with the current story arc of Season 1
 * Hermes and Kuroth are based off of gods that are for stealing and treasure.