User blog:PokeRob/Activity

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't been as active lately. There's a lot of reasons for this, but first I'm going to go into my activity and how it will effect my series, my role on commitees, etc. I only signed up to make blogs and such for Fanon Con if I was certain I could do them, and I already have my normal Fanon Con written out somewhere. I plan on getting my other stuff done soon. In other words, I'm not worried. I signed up for a presentation that I'm not certain I can make, but I want to try.

My series are definetaly on hold, and production for Mack 10 has stopped for now. So that's how my less active behavior will effect my work. I will drop in every now and then, but don't plan on it being more than maybe three or four times a week. There will probably me some exceptions to this. Anyways, onto why I've been less active.

I'm battling mild depression and PTSD.

I've been having some pretty terrible stuff happen to me in real life lately. And it's like I'm both happy and sad, more sad over all, but just the mixture of two- I don't understand how it's possible to get like this. I have friends telling me it gets better, I'll be fine, but by the days it just gets worse. I do my best to pretend to be happy around people, but I feel like I'm broken and there's just nothing anybody has been able to do about it.

It all started a while back as some of you know with my dad. A lot of events occured causing my families to be seperated. We visited him for a while, but I guess it just wasn't destined to work out. My two sides of the families are still battling it out.

I then had a boy who started saying very inappropriate things to me and touching me in a wrong way- please don't act as if I'm saying it's because he is gay. I would feel just as violated if a girl were doing this towards me. This feels emotionally scarring lately, and the thing is we were friends. He has been doing things like this to me for over a year, and due to being uncomftorable talking about it, I kept it bottled up for this long. Now people tell me it's my fault. My friends got involved, and we're still working it out a week later in school.

My dad is also fighting for custody over us. He wants us for either the school year or every other summer with additional visit days. If he wins either of them, this means I will go away often with my father, and he lives very far away. Which means I would have no friends. I've never been entirely too sure about who I want to live with- I just really don't want to leave the people I know I want to stay with.

''All in all, this is why I've been less active lately. I'm sorry about it, I wish I could be playing more of a part lately. See you guys whenever.''