Talk:Road Trip (TNO)/@comment-24922135-20170419215319

Welp guess I'm reviewing this again cos apparently it was redone. Let's see what's been improved.

For a start that page length does not give me confidence. It's about as long as a short chapter of DoB10. I get away with it in that series because each chapter is a portion of a full story. Every TNO episode is a stand alone story and therefore must be judged as such. I do not have high hopes that you can tell a quality story with good pacing at that page length. I just checked the episode's length in Drive, and it's about 3 A4 pages long. That is the minimum cut off point for a DoB10 Chapter.

Kevin: It's been over half a year! Give it up!

Okay this is a really interesting concept. But like all concepts it needs to make sense in context. It's been six months. They would have gone to Galvan Prime for help after day one. Why is Ben in a fight against Sunder when the odds of his Omnitrix working are minimal at best?

Omnitrix: Need to find creator...need to go to Gal-

Oh look. My point proven. Also, who shielded Rook? Or did he die here and no one told me?

Rook: Whatever happened here was not good.

They should have been able to tell that before they landed. The Galvan should have called for help. Even if only by lack of communication, the Plumbers would have known Galvan Prime was being attacked.

Galvan: Great! They're here! (He pulls out another Omnitrix from his pocket.)

Oh wonderful, it's Galvan Ex Machina. Because for some reason Azmuth hates Ben even though contextually he has zero reason to and actually giving Ben a new Omnitrix would solve many, many problems given that the planet is under attack.

Azmuth: JERRY D. DUFFIE!


 * 1) I see what you're doing, but the naming conventions of Galvan normally contract the staff's names, not elongate them by adding a human forename.
 * 2) There was already a Galvan named after Dwayne.
 * 3) That is perhaps the sloppiest way you could have delivered his name. Also when has Azmuth ever given enough of a crap about other Galvans to know the full name of someone so clearly incompetent?

Suddenly, the wall blows up and Jerry is grabbed by a Methanosian/Pyronite hybrid, and thrown so far that he reaches space, presumably dying from lack of oxygen.

Hybrid: Did somebody say fire? I stole this meme from CaT Reviews. I don't care. If you don't see what's wrong with this then there is no helping you. I'll read the rest of this episode and if I see anything noteworthy (better or worse than what has happened so far) I'll add it. But I'm done reviewing this episode now.

Well it got worse let's leave it at that. Interesting three aliens to start a series with. At no point was a road trip EVER mentioned outside of the title.