User blog:UltiVerse/Update: January 2016

Hi, guys. I'm writing this blog to let a few emotions out, and who better to talk to than some of my closest friends? As some of you may know, I highly consider BTFF to be my happy place, but to be honest, I haven't been happy for quite some time now. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with you guys or the wiki, I love you like a family. The problem is me.

Looking back at 2015, I realized how insignificant and inconsequential I am to the wiki. It's been nearly a year since I was promoted to admin, and I haven't done much useful with my abilities, not just in terms of being an admin, but in general. I haven't left my mark. It takes me months to complete an episode of my series in spite of the fact that I edit almost every day, I can hardly come up with ideas to improve the wiki... I don't know, I just feel really underrated. I feel as if nothing would really be different if I never joined BTFF.

I've been trying to work more efficiently, to complete episodes faster. I've been trying to help the wiki, to no avail. I want to make a difference. I can't. I'm not going to leave (I don't plan to for the next few years). I love this place too much to do that, but I feel like I'll just be "another old user" to the next generation of BTFFians.

*sigh* I'm really sorry if this blog bummed you out, guys. I just couldn't hold it in any longer.