CaT Reviews: Fan review!

This is the thirteenth episode of CaT Reviews!, this time featuring Fan review, as requested by Primal, who was requested to request it by CaT since A: The episode called out his own work and B: He wanted to be meta.

Story
This episode is fairly short, so I think I can actually go through and dissect it bit by bit as opposed to my usual full summaries.

This should be fun.

"Prepare for a content reminder: Anything in this series is an imitated parody, it is not meant to hit on you or anything."

Well, I'm glad it's not meant to hit on me. We just met!

"It was Juno and Miseree's birthday, the two were both friends since childhood and did almost nothing but eat their cake."

Jesus Christ, almost nothing but eating cake since childhood? I assume these people are very large supporters of the Fat Rights Movement (which is very ironically named come to think of it).



Juno and Miseree attempting to reach the fridge for more cake. (2017, Colorized)

""You know..it's weird eating cake and not having anyone else to eat cake with, don't you think?" Juno said, miseree quickly replying."

You are literally saying this to the person you are eating the damn cake with what

""Of course, I kind of think we need the rest of the plumbers here to take interest in our new cak-. Before they could continue, the cake was suddenly destroyed as a figure revealed itself, infront was some sort of pharaoh-like tom with tendrils poking out of it."

>"pharaoh-like tom"



The reign of Pharaoh Fluffykins-Ra was an overall plentiful, if somewhat controversial, period in Egyptian history.

"Juno looked, watching as the 'phantomb' glared at the two, he was here to overall review their world and destroy it because it wasn't 'original' enough for him."

Oh this is going to be fucking fantastic

"Phantom grinned, letting out a quick evil laugh as he moved towards them, "OKAY NOW I'M PISSED AS HELL!" Juno yelled as she transformed into Grotusk. Her body became grey as she wore a jumpsuit of sorts, she took her sharp tusk-like dual scimitars out as she aimed them at Phantomb. "How dare you aim at your only reviewer?!"

See, the problem here (well, a problem here) is that the way it's framed makes it look like Juno is saying both lines. Learn to format.

"Anyways, I came here to review everything terrible about your show..""

Oh dude same

"Phantomb looked at them, grotusk and miseree both ready to smash him in the face."

Clearly the reasonable protagonists we can all sympathize with.

""Anyways, your world sucks.." phantomb said, taking a cigar out of nowhere."

Damn this boi woke af

""Wait..EXCUSE ME?! You JUST destroyed our cake, you did nothing but say our world sucked...and you deprived me of good chocolate cake..IT HAD DARK CHOCOLATE ON IT!" Miseree said, roaring as her demonic side took over. She'd enter her demon form, tendrils forming all around as they aimed at Phantomb."

""Well yeah, your just a copy of another show, ALA 'BEN 10' with different characters and setting."

>your

>ALA

Good try but ya missed the mark by a letter or two there buddo

"Gender or not, you have almost the same mannerisms as every character in the universes."

DID YOU JUST ASSUME XER GENDER

Also I like this Phantomb guy. He has good points.

"Your entire existance and backstory are shitty, all you do is just discover META with your grandpa and your cousin! THEN you get a terrible sequel series.." Phantomb continued, stroking his chin now.."

First off, double periods. No. You either use a single period to end the sentence or three to trail off. Two periods are not supposed to be a thing.

Second off, Phantomb is right, this does sound like another Ben 10 clone.

""WHAT?! Our universe is COMPLETELY perfect, we have an entire universe of cool characters. WHO could forget Kord and Reyid? The two most interesting of characters, i mean, kord's around and reyid's dead.." Juno said. Then Miseree, "And who couldn't forget that every universe has their own aliens?!" Miseree yelled at Phantomb."

I'll give the benefit of the doubt here and say this is supposed to be ironic, but that last sentence makes me question my position.

""No they don't, there are TONS of copies of ben 10, haven't you seen the greatest parody X 10?! HE WAS THE ONLY GOOD CHARACTER!" Phantom yelled."

I can't even begin to comprehend what the message you're trying to get across is anymore so I'll just take this as a direct complement.

""Well..To be honest, we're not a reboot or remake in any way..sadly. We could be so much better than reboots and remakes!" Miseree said, this infuriated phantomb."

I'd either agree or disagree here, but the broken English obfuscates the attempted point.

""NO, DON'T EVEN!" phantomb yelled, then continued. "DON'T EVEN SAY IT! Reboots are terrible, they do nothing but ruin the shows premise and makes everything unwatchable." Phantomb would prepare five orbs of darkness."

Holy shit! Is that a MOTHERFUCKING Ochoa reference?!

""HOW DARE YOU BRING UP REBOOTS..YOU YOURSELF ARE LESS RESPECTABLE ONES!" As phantomb attempted to attack, grotusk dashed forward. Grotusk roared, grabbing phantomb and slamming him into the floor. "OW! MY FACE!" Phantomb was then thrown, catching himself as he threw down all five orbs into the floor. The orbs would slam into grotusk sending him back, phantomb then continued to attack grotusk, before finally grotusk overpowered him and stabbed him with both weapons."



"Phantom would shriek in pain, a crack forming over him as it would slowly enlarge, the crack continued as it would finally tear him apart and create an explosion of power. Juno turned back, both her and miseree looking as they saw that phantomb was gone. His spirit somehow back inside the Metatrix, juno and miseree turned and smiled, the two highfiving. "TEAM XENO!" they'd say, then froze as this terible episode ended."

Don't you be fucking coy with me after all that bullshit you chicken asiago motherfucker

All in all, if you're really aching for one of my good old-fashioned story summaries, I think the following should suffice:

The story here was basically just non-existent. Some asshole busts in and just starts talking shit and then they kill him. Even the most basic of parodies need some sort of plot of they want to make a point, and this has like...none.

Overall, this section gets a 0.1 out of 3 because it barely exists.

Writing
Okay, so, this was obviously supposed to be a parody, fair enough.

A parody of what I could not fucking tell you.

This episode lacks what a good parody should have: a thesis. What is the point you are trying to make with your parody? Since X 10 was dragged into this anyways, I'll use Nu Mack 10 for an example.

Each episode of Nu Mack 10 has a very specific thing to parody that is made clear up front and kept up throughout the episode; "Fan review" has the first part down but botches the second so hard it's difficult to tell what the overall point is. Is it parodying reviews from fan? Reviews from people who give constructive criticism? Reviews in general? The content being reviewed? It's all over the place, and even the blatant strawman of Phantomb is hard to decipher.

Also the grammar is terrible, which does not help in the slightest.

0.1/3

Characters
What fucking characters

We have Author Opinion Inserts #1 and #2 and Blatant Strawman #102348923057 and 1/2

I get that these characters exist as other things elsewhere but in the context of the episode there's just nothing

0.1/3

Conclusion
"Fan review" is a parody made by someone who clearly doesn't know anything about writing parodies and just got salty about people calling him unoriginal. Honestly Thax, you could do better.

All in all, the final score for "Fan review" is 0.3/10, EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME IS WRONG