Beaten to the Punch

Beaten to the Punch is the series finale of Omni-World.

Plot
Ditto is sitting on the couch, watching "The Wrestler" starring Mickey Rourke.

(Ditto): Man, who knew the guy from Iron Man 2 could act!

Eye Guy comes in.

(Eye Guy): Hey, what are you watching?

(Ditto): What?

(Eye Guy): I said, what are you watching?

(Ditto): I can't understand you. You're speaking gibberish.

(Eye Guy): What do you mean?

(Ditto): Cut it out, it's annoying.

Ultimate Cannonbolt comes in.

(Ult. Cannonbolt): Hey, what are you watching?

(Ditto): I'm watching The Wrestler, starring Whisplash from Iron Man 2 and that tattoo guy from The Expendables.

(Ult. Cannonbolt): You mean Mickey Rourke?

(Ditto): You know his name!?

(Ult. Cannonbolt): Of course I do! I love this movie! Wrestling is so cool!

(Eye Guy): Well why don't you start wrestling?

(Ult. Cannonbolt): What?

(Ditto): I dunno he's being weird.

(Eye Guy): STOP IT

(Ditto): Hey, who don't you start wrestling, Ultimate Cannonbolt?

(Eye Guy): HEY

(Ult. Cannonbolt): Yeah, I guess I could wrestle!

(Ditto): You totally could! You have the figure for it!

(Ult. Cannonbolt): Are you calling me fat?

(Ditto): Yes.

(Ult. Cannonbolt): oh.

Cut to Ultimate Cannonbolt's first boxing match. He's sitting in one corner of the ring, with Four Arms sitting in the other.

(Ult. Cannonbolt): I'm not sure about this, Ditto. Maybe he'll beat me up!

(Ditto): i sure hope so

(Ult. Cannonbolt): What was that?

(Ditto): Nothing.

The fight begins! Ultimate Cannonbolt takes out Four Arms with one punch. What a hit!

(Ditto): What a hit!

excuse you?

(Ditto): Your career as a boxer has only just begun, Ultimate Cannonbolt!

Suddenly, Ditto gets a phone call.

(Ditto): Hello, who's this?

(Dittie): *on the phone* Ditto, the police just got a tip from an informant, it's the cartel! They wanna kill Eyeguy!

(Ditto): W-what? Okay, j-just, just stay calm, Dittie. I'll be right over. Ultimate Cannonbolt, I gotta go.

(Ult. Cannonbolt): What's wrong? Did Dittie's water break?

(Ditto): No, no, it's... I gotta go.

Ditto runs out of the stadium, and calls Upchuck on his phone.

(Upchuck): Yo, Ditto. What's the situation? Did the deal go through?

(Ditto): No. It backfired. Horribly. The cartel, they wanna kill Eyeguy.

(Upchuck): Holy tostito, are you serious?

(Ditto): I need clean slate, Upchuck. Get me the clean slate. I'm out of this business.

(Upchuck): Are you sure?

(Ditto): Of course I'm sure! J-just get the clean slate, okay? For me, Dittie, and the twins!

(Upchuck): O-okay, if you say so. You got an hour to pack your stuff. You need to be at Cranston Road at exactly 6. A red minivan will bring you to Alaska, and you'll start your new life there. You're sure about this, right?

(Ditto): ...Yes.

Cut to Ditto barging into the appartment. His heavily pregnant wife, Dittie, is sitting on the couch.

(Dittie): Hey, babe, what's wrong?

(Ditto): The cartel! The deal backfired, and now the cartel is coming for Eyeguy! Upchuck called the clean slate guy, we need all our stuff packed and ready and we need to be by Cranston Road at 6, got it?

(Dittie): Ditto, slow down, you're going a hundred miles a minute! The cartel? Clean slate? I-I'm scared, Ditto! I can't travel in my third trimester and--

(Ditto): JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT, OKAY!? I DON'T WANNA DIE! THE CARTEL'S NOT GETTING ME, YOU GOT THAT?

(Dittie): ...yes.

(Ditto): Good! Get your stuff packed. I'm gonna get the money from the crawl space.

(Dittie): About that...

(Ditto): No time!

Ditto crawls into the crawl space, and takes two suitcases out from under the dust. One of them is full of the money, but the other one is empty.

(Ditto): ...D-Dittie? Where is the money?

(Dittie): The what?

(Ditto): The money, Dittie, where is the money!?

(Dittie): I-I...

(Ditto): Dittie, WHERE IS THE MONEY!?

(Dittie): ...I-I gave it to Ted.

(Ditto): ....y-you what?

(Dittie): Ditto, please, PLEASE just hear me out, please!

(Ditto): You gave our money to Beneke?

(Dittie): I had to, for us, for the family! I just--

(Ditto): AAAAAAAGH! EGH!

Ditto lies down in the dusty crawl space, silently sobbing to himself, as Dittie starts to cry as well. But Ditto's sobbing slowly starts to form into laughter. Wild, crazy laughter.

(Dittie): ...Ditto?

Ditto laughs his lungs out, as his mental state begins to regress. He slowly starts to realize that, in life, there are no winners. We are all losers. As we continue to strive for black-and-white morality, we stop ourselves from truly evolving as people, as human beings. As long as we fight for our right, we fight our chance at evolution. One man can make a difference, but for how long? Will it affect our lives for better or for worse? We are all pawns in the creator's chess game, the only difference being that we never win. We only go back.

the end.