User blog:UltiVerse/Update: December 2016

Hi, guys. How's it going? I'm writing this blog to officially announce the end of my semi-active period. I know I was hardly actually gone, but eh. I'll probably be going on vacation near Christmas, so my activity may take a little dip then. I'm also currently sick, so forgive me if I'm not as active as you'd like me to be. Hopefully, I'll recover within a week. There are a few things I'd like to get off my chest, and what better way than through a blog? I've said some of these things during one of the latest Support Group meetings (and a recent... meeting on chat), so those who came for that may have already heard me say this.

I have depression and anxiety. I've had depression since 2014 (though the 'symptoms' started showing up a year earlier), whereas I only really got anxiety this year. I never went to get it checked by a doctor, so don't take my word for it, but if online tests are anything to go by, then I guess I'm telling the truth. Some of you may have already suspected this, judging by my 'updates', while others may think "So what? Why do we need to know?". I was actually planning to never tell you, but I've been keeping this inside for ages and it's been killing me. BTFF used to be my safe haven, where I could escape from all my problems and relax, and be surrounded my people who actually appreciated me, but of course, my problems managed to bite me in the butt, and look where I am now. I just want to apologize for everything I've done that may have offended or annoyed you, especially this year. I feel bad and hate it when I do you wrong. I still have AoD in my mind and I apologize that it flopped. I'll probably never forgive myself for what I've done (not just AoD, everything). I'll just have to be more careful and look forward to a clean slate in 2017.

So, what am I gonna do in 2017? Well, first, I plan to see what went wrong with me this year and work to improve it. 2016 hasn't been the best year for me, I'm sure a few of you can relate. I'm going to try my best to stop screwing up and do more for my series and the wiki. I also want to get to know some of you more, make more friends and whatnot. I know some of you may not like me, and I'm going to work to change myself the best I can. I really, really hope I can bring myself back to a point where I can properly say that I'm happy with myself.

On to other things, since it's December, one of the most prominent things on people's minds is Christmas. I will be making Christmas gifts for as many of you as I can (not just for the Chain of Gifts, though I'll make my gift to my assigned user for the Chain of Gifts extra special), though I'll be giving them out sporadically, from this week to maybe even after Christmas, pushing New Year's. I'll try to make them as special as possible, but I don't know some of you as much as I'd like, so sorry in advance if they're generic. Anyway, I will now resume working hard on POTO off-wiki, so hopefully progress goes well. On a side note, I've been dabbling with doing real art, like drawing. Would any of you be interested in seeing some of it? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading this blog. I can't wait to properly do good for the wiki with nothing stopping me. See you soon, and have a nice day.