Insert Horrible Title Pun Here

Well, today was a weird day. Coming from me, the guy who transforms into aliens that look like notebook doodles, that's saying a lot. Okay, I'll tell, but only if you promise not to laugh.

I had to use a rainbow death ray to wipe out an invasion force comprised of fluffy teddy bears.

...

Oh, come on! It's not that funny!

...

Take a break to BREATHE, will ya?!

...

I hope you suffocate.

-

So, it started out as any normal day for me. Eating breakfast, taking a walk, beating up an insectoid alien that was creating havoc. Just normal stuff.

THWACK!

...Or getting beat up by an insectoiud alien creating havoc.

"Well, you know, OW." I had said, peeling my face from the pavement. "Okay Aquadilus, this is getting me nowhere."

Oh, maybe I should introduce who I am and who Aquadilus is. My name is Tech, and I use a device called the SpecTrix to transform into various aliens and defend Earth. How I ended up with it is a story for another day. Anyways, I built an alien tourist shop in the gorge near my house as a cover for my base. I hired Aquadilus on as an assistant to manage the shop and the base, all while helping me to manage the SpecTrix and giving me information. He has a fairly high salary.

"Well, maybe instead of fighting the alien that shoots ENERGY with Electrolite, an alien MADE OF ENERGY," Aquadilus responded through the SpecTrix, "You should turn into something with more of a physical form. Just an idea."

Instead of responding, I just grumbled a bit and hit the SpecTrix dial without really having a specific alien in mind. There was a green flash as I turned into...

"MEEROAR?!" I yelled. "Are you KIDDING me?! Talk about the most useless, impractical-"

I was interrupted by having a beam of energy shooting at me, reflecting off of my mirror spines, and hitting the insectoid alien dead center in the head, knocking it out.

"...Amazing choice for an alien!"

"How does it feel to know that the SpecTric AI can choose better aliens than you?" Aquadilus asked.

"Hey, do you WANT a pay cut?!" I responded.

"My contract specifically states I cannot have my pay cut or my job terminated for at least five more years."

"Fine..."

---

In a warehouse the next city over, an old teddy bear stirred. Thinking evil thoughts, it got up, and started heading towards the exit to join the other evil teddy bears to do evil...stuff, I guess.

In space.

I SWEAR to ARCEUS I am not making this up.

---

So, this is probably starting to sound incredibly stupid and cheesy to you. The fact is, it is. The Earth was almost taken over by freaking TEDDY BEARS. You know, sometimes I wonder if it would be too much to just round up the idiots in the world and write KILL THESE FIRST, PLEASE on them. But no, the threat always ends up targeting everyone. Sorry, getting off topic.

Anyways, I was in space at the moment, transformed into Rockoustic, training for situations that might require zero-gravity fighting. I honestly don't know HOW I could POSSIBLY have not seen what was coming.

A giant invisible warship crashing into me. Yeah, one of the more OBVIOUS things in life. Giant invisible warships.

Unfortunately for the warship, crashing into Rockoustic is pretty much like the Titanic disaster.

In space.

I found myself on the floor inside of the heavily damaged spaceship, surrounded by the fluffy carnage of hundreds of teddy bears. Finding this situation somewhat strange, I decided to get up and start walking to see if I could find out what was going on. I could hear a starnge thumping sound that was slowly getting louder. As I rounded a corner, I finally found the source of the thumping.

A giant room filled with millions of teddy bears marching in place.

"Uuuhhhh..."

Suddenly, I was surrounded in an electric field which prevented me from moving into the room.

"I see you've found my little base of operations."

I turned around in the electric field to see...

A walking Red Lobster course

"Oh, hi, random uncooked lunch." I said nonchalantly.

"I am not random or uncooked!" The thing snapped. "I am specific and at a perfect body temperature! Everything about me is PERFECT!"

"Say what?"

The crab thing ignored me and kept on rambling.

"Yes, I, Cornelius Zelosis Xenon am PERFECT in every which way!"

He whipped his head to face me.

"YOU, however, you imperfect, ship destroying, BEING, you, you can call me The Puppet Master!"

"See above statement."

"Fool! Statements do not exist on a dimesnsional plane!"

to be finished tommorrow.