Reflection: I Wish I Was Better

 is ... I have no clue honestly. Is it a poem? A speech? That's why I just called it a Reflection. Anyway, the following is about a character's history from their point of view. It's something else, something different then what I usually do lol. I don't know why I wrote this, I kinda just did. It is also a sequel (in a sense) to my first and second reflections. Written by Sci100.

I wish I was better.

Don't get me wrong, I have it great.

I'm the most intelligent student in my school.

I have straight A's.

Which is more than I can say for doofus.

But at the same time,

I feel like I don't belong there.

Something's not right.

Maybe I'm... not right.

I wish I was better.

One ordinary summer vacation has become extraordinary.

In one night, I've been removed from my pedestal.

Why is he better than me now?

Why does he get more attention than me?

Why does he get to be more special?

I'm special! Aren't I?!

I guess not.

I guess it's his time to shine.

I guess he's finally better than I am.

I wish I was better.

But maybe now I have a chance to be.

Now that everything has changed.

Now that I've met her.

She's so different from the other girls.

There's something special about her.

And there's something special about me.

Magic is real.

Something I thought I'd never say.

But I'm gifted at it.

The spotlight is back on me.

I can actually do things now.

I'm not just a nerdy girl on her laptop.

I'm not the damsel in distress anymore.

I'm a hero, just like my cousin.

I guess you could say, I'm a lucky girl.

I wish I was better.

The summer is over.

I'm back at school.

No magic.

No Omnitrix.

No adventure.

I'm not a lucky girl anymore.

I'm just the same girl I was in Spring.

I get into high school.

I excel in my classes.

Top marks.

I'm likely to be going to Harvard or Friedkin University.

But I'm still not good enough!

I'm too fat.

I'm too geeky.

I haven't had a boyfriend.

I haven't even kissed a boy yet.

And walking right next to me are girls who have slept with five guys.

I'm never invited to parties.

I'm never invited to do anything, really.

Why is Ben the better looking cousin?

Why is Ben the more popular cousin?

Okay, well he isn't really popular

I guess that was an oversimplification.

I mean, he does play soccer

But I do karate as well.

Huh.

Maybe Ben and I aren't so different after all.

But that doesn't change the fact that I wish I was better.

I wish I was better.

We're working together now to save the world.

The three of us.

One of them being an old foe.

But now I have a new reason.

Sure, he was a bad guy then but...

he's not a bad guy anymore, really.

Still.

He's annoying.

He's frustrating.

He's rude, and covered in grease and crass...

Oh my god.

I'm doing this because....

Oh my god.

I want to show him how good I am

How special I am

How important I am.

And maybe just maybe... he'll make me feel good about myself.

Because I've never felt good about self.

Because he might be only chance at a normal and real...

Do I dare even say it?

I wish I was better

We've gone through so much together.

An alien invasion.

A conqueror of worlds.

I watched the man I love go bad and back.

But it's not easy being me.

Fighting Animo.

Back to Bed at Late at Night.

5:30 a.m.

Jogging and French.

Shower and Packing.

Invitations! Fire!

Note: Best Friend Piano Concert. MUST ATTEND.

Algebra Class.

G.E.D. for Kevin.

Animo.

Emily, no!

Fantaisie-Impromptu in C- Sharp Minor, Op. 66 by Chopin.

Ah it's not easy being me.

So many activities.

So many events.

But I have to show them all how great I am.

I have to show them that a a woman can be as good as a man.

That a woman can be better.

That I can be better.

I wish I was better.

But I don't have to be.

Kevin once said that he wanted to be remembered as he used to be.

Back when those gold-eating gremblins came to Earth.

I told him that it doesn't matter what he looks like.

Perhaps I should listen to my own advice.

It's not all about looks.

Neither is it all about grades.

It's not all about the grades.

But it's also not about being social.

Or popular.

You don't have to be who you think the world wants you to be.

You have to be you.

I'm an all-A student.

A black belt.

A magician.

A girlfriend to the luckiest guy a bi girl could ask for.

I don't have to be a hero.

I don't have to be popular.

Or famous.

I don't have to be what society wants me to be.

I wish I was better,

but screw it.

Gwen Tennyson is good enough.