No Honor Among Bros (Ryder 10)

Story
Corvo is skulking through a city at night, heading towards an old warehouse. An engine revving catches his attention, as a spotlight comes around the corner. He quickly takes off in the opposite direction, the motorcycle speeding up. Corvo goes down a skinny alley, as the motorcycle goes past, the sound of the engine dying off.

Corvo: Whew! That was close. (He continues sliding down the alley.) For a moment, I thought that it was

Corvo makes it out of the alley, as he bumps into the Tenn-Speed, being knocked over. He looks up, and is terrified to see Ryder.

Corvo: R-r-r-ryder! Hey man. H-h-how you doing?

Corvo tries to run, but Ryder trips him, Corvo hitting the ground. Ryder stands on top of him.

Ryder: Corvo. Thought you went to jail with the rest of the Road Crew.

Corvo: You forget that I wasn’t trapped in your crystal prisons. Neither was Fistrick.

Ryder: Fistrick is here?

Corvo: Yeah, and we’re totally above board now. We have an underground tournament to make money.

Ryder: Underground tournament sounds below board.

Corvo: Hey, we’ve changed leaves, honest! Look, we need a few more guys for the tournament tonight. Maybe you and Kevin would be interested in competing.

Ryder glares at Corvo, as Corvo hands Ryder a flyer. Ryder takes it, mounting the Tenn-Speed. He rides off, leaving Corvo coughing in the dust.

Ryder gives the flyer to the others on the Rustbucket, with Ester looking concerned.

Ester: So what? They just sponsor events where people get to beat each other up?

Kevin: That’s the gist of it.

Morty pants heavily, pounding his chest excitingly.

Kevin: This guy’s into it.

Ryder: I say we enter, take the prize, then arrest them for an illegal tournament. We’ll have to go undercover, so Morty, you’ll have to lose the Plumber suit.

Morty snorts as he nods, walking off.

Ester: You sure this is a good idea?

Ryder: Fistrick needs to go.

Kevin: As much as it pains me, he’s right. He’s too sly to be let out.

Morty comes back, wearing black underwear with two black sashes going across his body attached to the underwear.

Ester: (Blushing) Oh, Morty! You, oh!

Kevin: Now that’s a wrestling outfit. End Scene

Inside the old warehouse is a wrestling ring in the middle, lights focused on it. Around the ring are the stands, with several people watching, including Ester, who looks displeased.

Ester: Can’t believe I had to pay to get in here.

Corvo: If I had known that, babe, I could’ve gotten you in for free.

Ester looks, as Corvo slides in next to her, leaning in. Ester shudders.

Ester: Corvo.

Corvo: Surprised you’re interested in this kind of thing.

Ester: I’m not. But if Ryder’s going through with this.

Corvo: If you want, we can just hit up the town, doll. Have ourselves a good time.

Ester: Ew. No.

The spotlights focus on the ring, where Fistrick was standing.

Fistrick: Ladies and Bros! Welcome to the Golden Fist Tournament, number 7! We’ve got an awesome group of bros who shall beat each other to a pulp, for your entertainment! Are you ready!

The crowd cheers.

Fistrick: In the first corner, we’ve got the quick, the speedy, the spiky. Give it up for Porcupine-Bro!

Porcupine is in one corner, a human with large black quills coming out of his body. He raises his hands, shaking them to the crowd, which goes wild.

Fistrick: In the other corner. One of our top competitors. Give it up for The Living Rock, Goyle-Bro!

Goyle is in the other corner, his expression as blank as ever.

Ester: Goyle?! But he’s one of the bounty hunters who chased us!

Corvo: He’s in it for the money.

Fistrick: And, melee!

Porcupine charges in, as Goyle walks forward. Porcupine makes quick strikes, circling around Goyle, him unfazed. Porcupine jumps on Goyle’s back, jabbing at him. Goyle reaches back, grabbing Porcupine by the throat. Porcupine gasps for breath, as Goyle pile drives Porcupine into the ring, as he’s down.

Fistrick: 1, 2, 3! Goyle-Bro wins!

The crowd roars.

Fistrick: Next, we have the tough and scaly version of Porcupine-Bro. Give it up for his brother Gatorboy-Bro!

A large humanoid gator stands on one side of the ring, as Kevin is on the other side.

Fistrick: And the other side, the great dealer of parts and other assortments. The mechanic Kevin-Bro! And melee!

The crowd is cheering, as Kevin pulls out a piece of metal, absorbing it. Gatorboy charges in, as Kevin slides under his legs, causing Gatorboy to tumble down. Kevin gets up, punching Gatorboy, which Gatorboy catches. Gatorboy lifts and spins Kevin, tossing Kevin into the ring wire. Kevin has hold, then launches himself at Gatorboy, slamming his arm into Gatorboy’s head, him hitting the ground.

Fistrick: 1, 2, 3! Kevin-Bro wins!

The crowd cheers, Ester half-heartedly cheering.

Ester: Yay. Nice job.

Fistrick: And now, the self proclaimed toughest, give it up for Jorgen Von Strangle-Bro!

The crowd cheers, as Jorgen hops onto the ring, flexing his muscles.

Jorgen: I’m Jorgen Von Strangle, toughest Incursean in the galaxy!

Fistrick: Vs. the ape with the power! Give a chant for Morty-Bro!

Morty gives off his best gorilla grunts, the crowd chattering like monkeys.

Fistrick: And, melee!

Morty charges at Jorgen on all fours, as Jorgen runs, going for a punch. Morty jumps, running up Jorgen’s arm, as he shoulder charges Jorgen’s head. Jorgen falls, but rolls back, getting up and hopping. Morty looks upwards, the silhouette of Jorgen coming down for a pile drive, Morty dodging. The ring shakes, as Jorgen hops, swiping Morty with his tongue. Morty is lifted into the air, and slammed into the ground, Jorgen punching into him. Ester cringes in pain.

Ester: Ooh. That had to hurt.

Corvo: Like you falling out of heaven.

Ester: Okay. Now you’re getting creepy.

Fistrick: 1, 2, 3! Jorgen-Bro wins! And now, the last round. In the first corner, our Iron Mace! Give it up for Technorg-Bro!

Technorg enters the ring, waving his left hand mace around.

Fistrick: And in the next corner, the pipsqueak who packs a punch, give it up for Ryder-Bro!

Ryder stands, holding his arms out for applause. Crickets chirp, as he looks upset. He activates the Omnitrix, slapping it down. He turns into Eatle, who raises his arms. The crowd, in surprise, starts cheering.

Eatle: Oh yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!

Fistrick: And, melee!

Technorg appears in front of Eatle, slamming his mace into him multiple times, Eatle flung into the ropes. Eatle rockets off them for a tackle, when Technorg catches Eatle by the horn, kneeing him repeatedly. He then tosses Eatle, who recovers and lands on his feet. Eatle goes to ram Technorg, but the same thing happens, Eatle tossed aside.

Eatle: Hm. Let’s see how you like this.

Eatle goes over to the corner, tearing the pole out and eating it. The crowd starts booing and moaning in disgust, as Eatle finishes eating. He then charges Technorg, who catches his horn again.

Technorg: Ha! You fight like a Galvan!

Eatle: If you mean those little frog guys, then yes I do.

Eatle’s horn glows, as he fires a laser from it, hitting Technorg at point blank. Technorg flies out of the ring.

Fistrick: Technorg-Bro is out of the ring! Ryder-Bro wins!

The crowd gives a half-hearted cheer, while Ester cheers loudly.

Ester: Whoo-hoo! Way to go, Ryder! End Scene

Ryder, Kevin and Morty are in the waiting room, which has its own weight room. Ryder’s massaging his shoulder, as Morty looks upset.

Kevin: Hey, don’t take it too hard, Morty. We’ll make sure to beat ‘em up for you.

Morty grunts happily.

Ryder: Keep an eye on Ester. I don’t trust this tournament at all.

Kevin: You say that as if conmen con each other.

Ryder Don’t they?

Kevin: Oh, yeah. We do.

Ryder groans, as if that proved his point.

Fistrick is on the ring, the crowd going wild.

Fistrick: Alright! Time for round 2! First up is Goyle-Bro vs. Kevin-Bro!

Goyle is in one corner, as Kevin is in the other.

Kevin: You’ve got a nice polish. Can’t wait to give a chip in your armor.

Fistrick: And, brawl!

Kevin absorbs metal, as he charges in, going for a slide. Goyle doesn’t move, as Kevin slams into Goyle, grabbing his leg in pain.

Kevin: Agh! That’s worse than stone! Oof!

Goyle grabs Kevin, holding him over his head. Goyle punches Kevin several times, and spins and elbows him, launching Kevin away. Kevin slides across the floor, as he gets up, Goyle overhead. Goyle uppercuts Kevin, who flies upwards, then down onto Goyle’s shoulders. Goyle reaches for him, as Kevin dodges, punching his face. Goyle is slightly distorted, but recovers easy, going for a tackle.

Kevin: Here we go.

Kevin stands his ground, then drops, tripping Goyle. Goyle crashes into the ropes, which snaps underneath him. Goyle goes off the stage, the crowd cheering.

Fistrick: And Kevin-Bro is the winner! Now, Jorgen Von Strangle-Bro vs. Ryder-Bro!

Jorgen is in one corner, as Ryder is in the other.

Jorgen: I’m Jorgen Von Strangle, toughest Incursean in the galaxy.

Ryder: Yeah. I got that part.

Jorgen: I’ll squish you like little human fly that you are.

Ryder: Yeah, not likely.

Ryder activates and slaps down the Omnitrix.

Bullfrag: Figures.

Jorgen: Ha! You think puny Incursean form can beat Jorgen Von Stran

Bullfrag extends his tongue, whipping Jorgen’s face. Jorgen gets furious, as he hops into the air. He crashes into the ring, shaking it. Bullfrag loses his balance, touching one hand to the ground. Jorgen cocks his fist back, and thrusts it forward. Bullfrag hops over it, landing on Jorgen’s arm. Jorgen spins, Bullfrag hopping off.

Bullfrag: You may be the toughest, but I’m the smartest!

Jorgen throws a punch, as Bullfrag hops out of the way, extending his tongue and catching Jorgen’s arm. Jorgen pulls him in, as Bullfrag curls into a ball. Jorgen’s punch rolls past Bullfrag, as he opens up and kicks Jorgen in the face, Jorgen dazed. Jorgen falls over, down.

Fistrick: And, Ryder-Bro wins! (Bullfrag reverts) We’ll take a five minute intermission, so sit tight bros! End Scene

Ryder and Kevin are heading up to the ring, the two excited.

Kevin: No matter who wins, we get the prize.

Ryder: And then we take them out.

Fistrick: Alright bros! It’s time for the final match! Kevin-Bro and Ryder-Bro, two close friends going to crush each other like rocks!

Kevin: Nah. This’ll be easy. Like taking candy from a baby.

Ryder: So glad you agree. So be a good little one and take your nap.

Fistrick: And, smash!

Ryder activates the Omnitrix, as Kevin’s almost on top of him, Ryder panicking. Ryder ducks, as Kevin spins, kicking Ryder away. Kevin jumps and goes for a meteor punch, as Ryder rolls, the ground pushing the Omnitrix down in the process. Shocksquatch gets to his feet, blasting Kevin with electricity.

Shocksquatch: Not so fun, eh?

Kevin: Heh. I came prepared for that.

Kevin pulls out a piece of wood, absorbing it. He tosses it aside, as he charges in, swinging a series of punches at Shocksquatch. Shocksquatch dodges, then punches Kevin with an electric fist, not doing too much damage.

Kevin: Wood’s a good conductor.

Shocksquatch grabs Kevin from the waist, pile driving him into the ground. Kevin’s wood covering splinters, it damaged.

Shocksquatch: But not that durable.

Kevin goes to get up, as Shocksquatch kicks him away. Kevin stays down, as Shocksquatch reverts.

Ryder: Oh, yeah! Who’s your new champion?!

The ring shakes, as Ryder turns, seeing Fistrick, Gatorboy, Porcupine, Technorg, Goyle, and Jorgen standing there, Fistrick smirking.

Ryder: What’s this?

Fistrick: You really think you could just waltz in here, Plumber-Bro?

The crowd goes into a frenzy, everybody running.

Ester: He knows? How?

Corvo grabs Ester from behind, gagging her.

Corvo: Sorry, sweet cheeks. But turning on us is a bad thing.

Morty goes at Corvo, driving him off.

Ester: I’m fine. Help Ryder!

Morty nods, as he jumps down to the ring.

Ryder: How’d you learn?

Fistrick: Argit-Bro mentioned that you were offered a spot. And we found your Plumber official ship. So. (Fistrick cracks his knuckles.) Let’s have fun with this.

Kevin groans, as he sits up, grabbing his head.

Kevin: Agh! Did you have to go that hard?

Ryder: Good, you’re awake.

Kevin stands up, seeing the enemies. Morty lands besides them, as Ryder activates and slaps down the Omnitrix.

Gutrot: What good’s this guy in a fight?! I was going for Diamondhead!

Fistrick: 8 way smash!

Fistrick charges in first, going for a shoulder ram. Morty charges in, catching it and chucking Fistrick aside. Gatorboy charges in, as Porcupine jumps off his shoulder, coming down with a spike slam, nailing Morty to the ground.

Porcupine: Ha! All about teamwork!

Kevin: If you say so.

Kevin, having absorbed metal, kicks Porcupine at Technorg, who knocks him away with his mace.

Kevin: Thanks there!

Technorg gives off a battle cry, as he charges in, Kevin sliding underneath him. Jorgen catches Kevin’s arm with his tongue, pulling him in.

Jorgen: (Muffled) Ha! Puny human can’t escape (He stops, sniffing the air.) What is that? Oh.

Jorgen drops, his tongue becoming limp as he drools all over the place. Kevin flings drool off his arm, seeing Gutrot.

Gutrot: Incurseans have little resistance to potent odors, like of compost. Just, don’t ask how I know that.

Kevin: Behind you!

Gutrot turns, Goyle slamming his arm into Gutrot. Goyle goes down, pinning Gutrot to the ground.

Gutrot: You do realize that doesn’t stop me at all, right?

Gutrot releases green gas from the nozzles on his body, catching Goyle in it. When Goyle backs out, his body is wet and crumbling. Morty appears, crashing Goyle into the ground, his body crippled and chipped apart.

Gutrot: A high enough moisture concentration simulates water and causes the erosion of rock. How do I know this?!

Ester runs for the stage, as Corvo grapples her, pulling her to the ground.

Corvo: Hey, if you stay still and come with me, I’ll be sure they don’t get rid of you. Who knows, maybe you’ll be my

Corvo stops, making a high pitched groan. Ester’s leg had stretched, kicking Corvo between the legs. Corvo lets go, as Ester stands up, kicking him again in the stomach.

Ester: Such a sweet offer. But forget it!

Kevin leans back on the ropes, as they launch him like a missile, his arm slamming into Technorg’s jaw. Technorg drops, as Fistrick does a jump kick, sending Kevin flying into Morty, who was wrestling with Gatorboy.

Fistrick: Never let your guard down in a fight.

Gutrot: Guess I should say the same about you.

Fistrick turns, seeing Gutrot’s arm in his face. It releases a gas, as Fistrick gags, going over the ropes as if to hurl. Gutrot then kicks him in the butt, sending him over the side.

Gutrot: With that kind of physique, there’s no way he’d find even the scent of grease appealing. (He stops, dumbfound.) Okay. I officially see some use in this guy.

Kevin: Ryder!

Kevin is hovering over Morty, who was down. Gatorboy and Porcupine close in.

Gutrot: Yeah right. Kevin! Hold your breath!

Gutrot expels a green gas, which travels over the field, catching Gatorboy and Porcupine. The two start laughing hysterically, their eyes watering up. Kevin stands, helping Morty over to Ryder.

Kevin: What’d you do to them?

Gutrot: Just gave them a whiff of some Nitrous Oxide. Better known as laughing gas.

Ester: Well, the joke’s on them.

Ester appears, carrying Fistrick and Corvo. Corvo was still in pain, while Fistrick is a sickly green.

Ester: We win, and we caught them all.

Gutrot: Looks like a good day to fight illegal alien fights.

Kevin: Yeah. It was good to try my hand in these again.

Ester: You’ve done these.

Kevin: Once or twice.

Morty grunts happily, pounding on his chest.

Gutrot: I think he was a wrestler back in his day. Nice work, Morty.

Morty gives off a big smile.

Characters

 * Ryder
 * Ester
 * Kevin
 * Morty

Villains

 * Fistrick
 * Corvo
 * Goyle
 * Porcupine
 * Gatorboy
 * Technorg
 * Jorgen Von Strangle

Aliens Used

 * Eatle
 * Bullfrag
 * Shocksquatch
 * Gutrot (accidental transformation; intended alien was Diamondhead)

Trivia

 * This episode is a mixture between canon episodes Ready to Rumble and No Honor Among Bros.
 * This is the first time Ryder asks Morty to assist them.
 * This episode has references to Super Smash Bros.
 * Fistrick saying "Melee, Brawl or Smash before a battle is based on the name of battle in the Smash Bros series.
 * 8 way smash is a battle mode in Super Smash Bros for Wii U.
 * The fighting style, especially the throws, is based on Smash Bros throws.
 * Ryder figures out usage for Gutrot.