Con on Ice

Story
John is sitting on the couch, watching TV.

Reporter: And now, Will Harangue.

Harangue: Thank you. And now, the continuing terror of John Smith. The other day, John went on a rampage in the city. (Shows Ultimate Shocksquatch destroying a building with a giant electric fist.) While there was a minor threat to the city that John seemingly handled, (shows Rath throwing cars) his response has totaled the city, and our roads. (Shows Ultimate Cannonbolt rolling down the road, his spikes tearing through the road.)

John: Oh, come on! At least show Ultimate Ghostfreak firing energy blasts!

Harangue: And now, the most disturbing piece of info. It has now been confirmed that John has a form that could’ve easily destroyed the city (Shows Way Big, then the craters his feet had created.) If John were to use this form, then he’d be able to easily destroy the city, and kill us all! Later, my guest will explain what would happen if (TV turns off)

John: I don’t know why I watch that guy. He horribly stretches the truth.

Gwen: John! Get out here! Now! (John gets up, and goes outside. Gwen is in a swimsuit, with a skirt covering her lower half.) Come on! We have to go now!

John: Calm down, Gwen. It’s not like we’ve never gone to the beach before.

Gwen: Yes! But every time that we try to go to the beach, something happens. An alien attack, or a mission in space. We haven’t been since the time the Krakken attacked us. Where’s Kevin? If he’s late. (Kevin’s car pulls up.)

Kevin: Hey guys.

Gwen: Finally! Where have you been?

Kevin: Relax. It’s not like something’s going to happen. (Then, two aliens with pure white skin in blue ropes teleport in. One of them was male, and the other female. The female was holding a floating pod, with an ice cream looking alien in it.)

Male Alien: Hello, John Smith. (Gwen has a surprised and dumbfound expression on his face.) I am Zaw-Veenull, a Lewodan ambassador. This is the queen, Sicily. I have been asked to entrust a mission to you.

John: Okay. What is it?

Zaw-Veenull: Jarrett, a vile creature, is threatening war with my people. I ask you to bring our prince, the Tiffin, to him as a peace offering.

John: Sure. (The Tiffin floats over to John, and the Omnitrix releases sparks.) That was weird. Guys! Let’s get ready. (Gwen has an angry expression, while Kevin looks amazed.) End Scene

The gang is in Kevin’s ship, with Kevin and Gwen flying it. Gwen has switched to her regular clothes. John is sitting in the back, and the Tiffin floats by the Omnitrix. It starts to spark again.

John: Okay, what is going on? (The Omnitrix transforms him. He becomes a mixture between a fish and iguana. His upper, fish like head is blue, as are his fingers and chest. His back and arms are black, and his lower half is white. He has three blue spikes coming out of his back.)

Articguana: Whoa! Who’s this?

Gwen: John? (turns to see John) What happened?

Articguana: Chillax, Gwen. I’m fine. Just a problem with the Omnitrix.

Gwen: That doesn’t sound fine to me.

Articguana: You’re always too serious. (Lays back in seat, kicking his feet up.) Lie back, take a load off, and just chill. (His breath is visible as he talks.)

Gwen: (Uncertain tone) Oookay. (Turns to Kevin) What’s wrong with him?

Kevin: He’s a Polar Manzardill. They are some of the most laid back species in the galaxy. They don’t take anything seriously. (Articguana blows air, firing a freeze ray, which hits the ceiling.) Hey! Watch the ice breath!

Articguana: Hakuna Matata, Kevin.

Kevin: What?

Articguana: It means no worries. (The Tiffin flies over, and Articguana releases a cloud of cold air, causing the Tiffin to shiver.)

Kevin: See. No problem.

Gwen: Almost seems like a contradiction to his usual attitude. End Scene

They approach the home planet of Jarrett, when they receive a call. It was Sicily.

Sicily: Hello, John Smith?

Articguana: What’s up, cool cat?

Sicily: Please, I beg you not to give Jarrett my son. Please.

Gwen: But don’t we need to deliver him to ensure the peace treaty.

Kevin: And get our pay? (Gwen elbows Kevin) Oof.

Articguana: Chillax, Sicily lady. It’ll all work out in the end. Hero out. (Ends transmission)

Gwen: Are you sure that we should still do this?

Articguana: Ice solid. War is so uncool.

They land, and they walk down the red carpet to the throne room. There, they see a red giant overweight devillish-alien.

Kevin: Oh man. A pantophage. (The Tiffin whimpers, scared.)

Articguana: Chillax, little guy. It’ll be okay.

Jarrett: I am Jarrett, king of the Pantophage.

Kevin: We have brought you the Tiffin.

Jarrett: Ah, excellent. (Takes Tiffin, and puts him on a pillow. Then, he swiftly eats him.) Ah. Delicious. (Gwen gasps in horror at the sight, and Kevin faints. Articguana, however, was furious.)

Articguana: That was so uncool! I thought that chilling dude was a peace treaty.

Jarrett: That’s what a peace treaty is on my planet. A rare delicacy.

Articguana then uses his freeze ray, and freezes the lower half of Jarrett’s body.

Jarrett: What are you doing? (Articguana then runs up the ice, and goes into Jarrett’s mouth. Jarrett tries to break free from the ice, and a few minutes later, Articguana comes out, with the Tiffin.) You do realize that this means war!?

Articguana: This guy so needs to chillax. (Gives Tiffin to Gwen, who was trying to wake Kevin.) Hold this. (Goes back to Jarrett) Hey, dude. I just jumped down your throat, man. Really nasty stuff. But if you go to war, I’ll do it again, and freeze your innards. Now, if we’re done. (Raises hand, extending two fingers.) Peace out.

Articguana leaves, the Tiffin floats after him, and Gwen uses mana to drag Kevin. Outside the throne room, Kevin wakes up.

Kevin: Ugg. What happened?

Then, a ship arrives, and Zaw-Veenull and Sicily come off.

Sicily: My child! (Tiffin is excited, and he floats over to her.)

Zaw-Veenull: Thank you, John Smith. Due to your negotiations, we are safe. My people wish to express our greatest

Articguana: Did you know he was going to eat him?

Zaw-Veenull: Well, I didn’t know, exactly.

Articguana: If you don’t want to be a not-coolcicle, we’ll never meet again.

Zaw-Veenull: (Nervous) Of course. Goodbye. (Re-boards ship.)

Sicily: Thank you, John.

Articguana: Told you it’d all work out. (Sicily and Tiffin board the ship, and it takes off. Then, Articguana reverts.)

Gwen: You’re back to normal.

John: Finally. That was so unchill. The Tiffin must’ve been keeping me in that form.

Kevin: Good guess.

Gwen: You knew?

Kevin: Well, I didn’t know, exactly.

John: So not cool, Kevin. Let’s go home.

Characters

 * John Smith
 * Gwen Tennyson
 * Kevin Levin
 * Zaw-Veenull
 * Sicily
 * Tiffin

Villains

 * Jarrett

By John:

 * Articguana (first appearance) (unintentional transformation)

On TV:

 * Ultimate Shocksquatch
 * Rath (used by Lucci)
 * Ultimate Cannonbolt
 * Way Big

Trivia

 * Articguana has a laid back personality, using the word "Chillax" a lot.