Mashed Potatoes

Mashed Potatoes is the first episode of The Paper Sketch.

Script
[Paper]: What do you call a chicken crossed with a clown?

[There is a pause.]

[Paper]: The snack line at the circus!

--awkward transition--

[Paper]: So hey guys, welcome to the first ever episode of the Paper Sketch. And now to the news man, Paper.

--transition--

[Paper]: Thanks Paper! Congratulations to Tronfan on joining the Community Team! He's already made some great suggestions and will make a great addition. Also in the news this week, Wikia launches it's new forums in the Labs! It's already on this wiki and you should check it out here. Also be sure to check out the official Paper Sketch discussion board, coming soon! And now to the Dr. Paper with this week's interview!

--transition--

[Paper]: Hey guys, I'm sitting here with our first ever interviewee, Sci100

[Paper]: So yeah, we'll have part 2 of Sci's interview at a later time...

--awkward transition--

[Paper]: Imagine you had the opportunity to go on the road-trip of a life time? Would you go? Well what if I told you that road-trip wasn't just any road-trip? It was road-trip through the Multiverse!

[Audience]: You mean theeeeeee multiverse?

[Paper]: Yes Audience, theeeeeee multiverse! So would you go?

[Audience]: Well, if it depends on what I could-

[Paper]: I know these two fellows would: Jud and Yovovich.

[Audience]: Sounds like two bums...

[Paper]: They attend some community college and graduated high school with solid D's [averages ;)]. WOAH! They're not just bums! They're super bums!

[Shows a graphic of two rednecks flying through the sky with capes on their back.]

[Paper]: Not those superbums! These super bums!

[Shows a graphic of a lilium superbum.]

[Audience]: It smells so nice...

[Paper]: You know what else smells nice?

[Audience]: Breath mints?

[Paper]: Oh, well, yeah... Nevermind.

--awkward transition--

[Paper]: Anyway guys you should check out this brand new show: it's called Multiverse Roadtrip, created by Regular Guy and Tronfan, and thanks to them for submitting that ad...

[Audience]: Didn't you already mentioned Tron for--

[Paper, suddenly]: --SHUT UP ALREADY!

[Audience]: but but but but...

[Paper]: NO! SHUT UP!

[There is a pause.]

[Paper]: Alright folks we're almost done here. We've just got awards to present...

[Paper stands up and a sheet of paper appears in his hand.]

[Paper]: It says here that I'm supposed to do this while dancing Gangnam Style... Nice try Sci, not going to happen. So.. our first award is Outstanding Achievement and it goes to PSY, for-

[Sci runs into the camera view to accept his award.]

[Sci]: I can't believe I actually won...

[Paper]: I said PSY won, not Sci...

[Sci]: Dude, that makes no sense.

[Paper]: You know, P S Y? The guy who dances Gangnam Style.

[Sci]: Awwwwww!

[Sci walks away.]

[Paper]: Wait, I'll give you a chance to win an award right now, if you can show me your Moves Like Sci.

[Sci starts dancing Gangnam Style but Paper takes out a gun and shoots him.]

[Paper]: I said Sci... not PSY... and speaking of him, he was unable to collect his award in person, so he sent his trust steed to get it for him.

[A mexican riding a horse walks in.]

[Horse]: I wasn't even in the video. He dances with out me...

[The horse grabs the award and walks off, leaving the Mexican behind.]

[Paper]: Who are you?

[Mexican]: Me llamo Paco. Quiero un premio.

[Paper]: Uh... No premio for you...

[Mexican]: No entiendo...

[Paper]: Here's some money--

[Mexican]: NO ENTIENDO!

[The Mexican takes out a gun and starts shooting it everywhere! He runs around like a crazy person.]

[Paper]: What now?

[He looks around.]

[Paper]: I KNOW! You know who could solve this!

[Audience]: WHO!

[Paper dives off the screen and then comes back on a second later. He is fat and wearing a weird costume.]

[Paper]: This looks like a job for SUPER BUM!

[He takes a weird plan and throws it at the Mexican. There is a flash and the Mexican suddenly stops moving.]

[Mexican]: Woah dude, you're plant broke my mouth... I can't speak Spanish anymore...

[Paper]: Problem solved...

[Mexican]: You created a new problem... I can now understand you... And your voice is hideous... You need to die...

[Paper]: But you could understand me--

[The Mexican shoots the gun at Paper and he falls to the ground. The Mexican continues to shoot of the gun in every direction until he runs off randomly.]

--awkward transition--

[Paper]: Well that's all I got... Next time on the Paper Sketch: Our favorite food says goodbye...

[The camera goes to static and then shows outtakes.]

[Paper]: I know these two fellows would: Jud and ...

[Paper breaks out in laughter.]

[Director]: CUT!

[Paper]: See these mashed potatoes? They're about to be all over your (beeping) face...

[Director]: CUT!

[Sci]: My favorite series on the wiki? Well I'd say Young Plumbers but then I'd be lying...

[Paper, enraged]: CUT!

[Static again.]

[Paper]: Mexican food is goooooooooood!

[The End]