User blog:UltiVerse/Update: August 2016

Not really sure why I call these blogs updates, since the last one was just me letting out a few emotions. Anyway, unfortunately, this is what this blog is for as well. I really wasn't going to write this blog, but I couldn't stop myself. Without further ado, let's get to it.

I'm not sure if you guys know this or not, but I take it pretty hard when I make mistakes. It probably has something to do with how people kept pointing out my mistakes when I was a kid. Around 2014 or so, I became very careful with my words and actions. Of course, being human and all, I still managed to make mistakes and I took it badly. On BTFF, however, I've managed to bring out the best in me, but lately I've noticed by best isn't good enough. I keep making mistakes and I keep faltering at my tasks. I don't know what to do with myself, and it's not just what I have done, it's also what I haven't done that annoys me. I haven't made much progress with my series, and I thought my record of completing Change within a month was good. I haven't been actively helping with AoD, and I'm probably the worst admin/crat out of the four. I keep trying but I fail. I failed to help Mig and Toon with their friendship, I'm failing with my adminship, I'm failing myself and you guys. There's also a lot of stuff that happened a while ago that I still blame myself for (accidentally blocking Primal comes to mind). I can't do anything right at all. I don't feel important, I feel like a klutz. I try and try and try but I'm never good enough. And I hate myself for it.

I don't know what I just said, I just tried to let as much as my emotions out as possible. I'm sorry.