Global Colding

Global Colding is the first ep of the first year of These Benjections.

Music
Ben: hi

Gwen: hi

Ben: Today we have a PSA for you about global colding.

Gwen: yea, it's pretty cold today in a lot of places in the usa

ben: but don't worry, we've got a great big solution for all of you. see, since all the cold is slowly moving to the east in the states, that means we can all move to antarctica and make it the best countrinent in the world.

gwen: but we're gonna need your help. you can't start a country with just two people, especially not family members, so we're asking you, the people of wherever you're from to donate 6 cents a second to the Global Colding Foundation for The Betterment of Antarctican Laypeople--

Ben: Aka, the GCFTBAL

Gwen: Yes, precisely, the "Gukhft Ball." We're asking you to join the Gufkth Ball in transforming the Antarctica into the biggest hotel ever--

Ben: Almost the size of a continent!

Gwen: Yup! Bring your kids!

Ben: Bring your grandkids!

Gwen: Bring kids right off the street*

Ben: Heck, bring your sick ol' great-grandma and let her enjoy something we know she hasn't crossed off her bucket list!

Gwen: Visit Antarctica now!

Please note, the "6 cents" is in Antarctican Dollars, worth USD$18,000. This charge will be scammed billed per second. If you're not bankrupt, you're not supporting "Ghufzkt Ball!"

*Don't bring kids right off the street. We'll beat you up if you do.

Scammers Honest Gentlewomen

 * Future Ben and Gwen after they became hobos because heroism doesn't pay the bills when you're old
 * You, as soon as you donate your life savings and such to Gall Bukhfxt!