GIR: Generally Idiotic Robot

Story
Vilgax’s ship, the Chimerian Hammer, is attacking a transport ship over the Earth. The Chimerian Hammer fires a laser blast, which destroys the transport ship. From the wreckage which floats in space, a capsule is sent down to Earth.

Onboard the Chimerian Hammer is Vilgax, who is in his un-enhanced form. Working on the deck are a series of SIR robots, humanoid robots that are about 2 feet tall with no mouths. They are silver colored, have eyes sticking out of their head with red eyes, and antennas on their heads.

SIR: Sir. The readings indicate that the Omnitrix is aboard that capsule.

Vilgax: Eh, a minor setback. Psyphon!

Psyphon comes up from behind Vilgax, bowing to Vilgax.

Psyphon: What can I do for you, my liege?

Vilgax: Take your android and retrieve the Omnitrix.

Psyphon: But sir. My droid, I haven’t finished the necessary repairs. It isn’t functioning properly like the rest of them.

Vilgax stands, Psyphon’s face filled with fear.

Vilgax: Are you disobeying a direct order, worm?

Psyphon: (Terrified) No! Of course not! I, I will deploy at once!

Psyphon scurries off, as he goes to a repair room. One of the SIR androids was there, having cyan colored eyes instead of red. His shoulder points and stomach patch are also cyan colored. The robot is playing with a rubber moose, squeaking it.

GIR: Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky! Fish and lemon squeezy!

Psyphon: GIR!

GIR’s cyan coloring turns red, as he jumps towards Psyphon, saluting and at attention.

GIR: Sir!

Psyphon: We’re heading down to the planet below to retrieve the Omnitrix.

GIR’s coloring returns to normal.

GIR: Ooh. Can we get gyros on the way?

Psyphon: Uh, gyro?

GIR points to a monitor, which was showing a commercial for Mr. Gyro.

Psyphon: Ugh! You were supposed to be programmed to be a menacing, evil robot! Yet, look at you! Your imperfections make you look cute, you aren’t deadly in the least. I don’t think you could even hurt a fly, or even have an evil thought in that pathetic brain of yours.

Gir: Gyros.

Psyphon: (Sighs) Yes, yes. If we successfully find the Omnitrix, you can get a gyro, or whatever it is. Now come along! We mustn’t keep the master waiting!

GIR: Okey dokey!

Psyphon moans, holding his head as he heads out of the room. GIR runs after him, squeaking the moose. End Scene

A small round spaceship with engine extensions heads down towards Earth. Psyphon is irritated while driving, while GIR is running in a circle up and down the wall, screaming as he does.

GIR: Aaaaaaaahhhhhh! Aaaaaaaaahhhh! Aaaahhhh!

Psyphon: Will you stop that already?!

The ship lands gently in a forest, as it opens up, GIR leaping out. He runs sporadically in circles, then curls up into a ball, asleep.

Psyphon: Oh, for the love of! Why me?! GIR! Wake up!

Psyphon kicks GIR, waking him. GIR wakes up, yawning.

GIR: Gyros?

Psyphon: Later. Alright. I’m going to scan the area for the Omnitrix. You just, stay and watch the ship. Play with your moose if it makes you happy. Just don’t leave the ship.

GIR: (Red eyes) Sir, yes sir!

Psyphon rubs his eyes, as he walks off. GIR reverts to normal, as he opens the top of his head, pulling out his moose. He squeaks it, as a squirrel runs by.

GIR: Squirrel! (The squirrel runs off.) Wait! Come back! I want you to be my friend!

GIR drops the moose, as he goes running after the squirrel. It runs up a tree, as GIR tries to follow it up. He slides down, then begins to cry. Then, a green light shines, catching his attention.

GIR: OOH. Pretty.

GIR goes over to the source of the light, which was a crater, with a capsule inside it. GIR slides down, and examines the capsule. He sniffs it, then gnaws on it. The capsule opens, revealing the Omnitrix.

GIR: It looks familiar. I know!

GIR opens the Omnitrix, wrapping it around his waist. The color of the Omnitrix becomes cyan to match GIR’s.

GIR: It’s a lucador belt! I am the champion of the ring!

GIR walks out of the crater, fidgeting with the Omnitrix face plate. The face plate comes up, as GIR looks puzzled by it. He pushes it back down, as he transforms. He turns into XLR8, with cyan eyes.

XLR8 dashes off, rocketing past the ship. The rush of wind causes the ship to tumble over, activating an engine and causing it to skid across the ground, damaging it. It crashes into a tree, exploding and catching on fire. In the distance, Psyphon sees the smoke, as he doesn’t look pleased.

Psyphon: (Deadpan) GIR.

XLR8: Yee-HOOOO! I’m running! I’m running!

XLR8 arrives in the city of Bellwood, the cyan blur going through the city, the wind disturbing people where he goes. A little girl is about to eat a cupcake, when it is swiped from her hand. She begins to cry, as XLR8’s visor comes up.

XLR8: Cupcake!

XLR8 eats the cupcake, icing getting all over his face. XLR8 stops, holding the wrapper, tears forming.

XLR8: I miss you cupcake.

XLR8 reverts, as people are staring at the tiny robot. GIR walks down the sidewalk, tongue sticking out of his mouth. He stops in front of a TV store, all the TVs showing Argit 10’s rap video. GIR stops in front of TV, spellbound. People take pictures of him and some make calls.

A group of beat boxers are beat boxing in the background, with Argit in front. Argit was wearing a ball cap turned sideways and has a gold chain around his neck.

Argit: (Rapping) ''It started when an alien device did what it did. Stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid. He’s got super powers, he’s no ordinary rodent, Argit 10!''

Beat Boxers: (Singing) Argit 10! (They continue beat boxing.)

Argit: (Wrapping) ''So if you see him you might be in for a big surprise. Turn into an alien before your very eyes. Slimy, creepy, fast and strong, every shape and size, Argit 10!''

Beat Boxers: (Singing) Argit 10! (They continue beat boxing.)

Argit: (Wrapping) ''Armed with powers, he’s on the case. Fighting off evil from Earth or space. He’ll never stop till he makes them pay, he’s the baddest rodent ever saved the day! Argit 10!''

Beat Boxers: (Singing) Ar, git 10!

Argit: (Wrapping) Argit 10!

Beat Boxers: (Singing) Ar, git 10!

Argit: (Wrapping) Argit 10!

Beat Boxers: (Singing) Ar, git 10!

Argit: (Wrapping) Argit 10! (Holds up Omnitrix.) It’s money time!

GIR: It’s money time.

The commercial changes to a Mr. Gyro commercial.

Mr. Gyro: Hungry for something good? Come to Mr. Gyro and get yourself a tasty gyro. Cause right now, it’s gyro time.

GIR: Gyro time.

The commercial shifts back to the Argit 10 rap commercial, as GIR starts dancing to it. He spins the Omnitrix head, slapping it down. He transforms into Four Arms, as he starts to dance to the music. His footwork causes the ground to shake, and as he shakes, his lower arm hitting a parked car. A woman screams at this, as Four Arms dances with his eyes closed, stomping and punching the ground and cars. Police cars form around him, officers pointing guns at him from behind their car doors. The main officer has a big white mustache.

Officer Prambly: Alien scum! Surrender now, or we’ll shoot.

Four Arms: (Singing off tune) He’ll never stop till he makes them pay.

Prambly: He ain’t cooperating. Get ‘im!

The officers open fire, their bullets bouncing off Four Arms’ thick skin. The commercial ends, as Four Arms’ expression goes blank.

Four Arms: I’m hungry. It’s gyro time!

Four Arms makes a leap into the air, soaring over the TV store. The officers stare in disbelief, as Psyphon comes running in, panting heavily.

Psyphon: (Gasps) Have you (gasps) seen (gasps) a tiny robot around here?

Prambly: Another alien! Get ‘im!

Psyphon screams, as he takes off running from the police.

There’s a line of people at the Mr. Gyro, an employee at the register. GIR hops onto the table, startling everyone.

Employee: Uh, may I help you?

GIR: I would like a gyro please.

Employee: Uh, do you have any mon

GIR: GYRO!

GIR activates and slaps down the Omnitrix, as he transforms into Merk Upchuck. Upchuck extends his tongues, grabbing and eating the cash register. The customers run off in fear, as the employee falls over.

Upchuck: I smell gyros!

Upchuck jumps into the kitchen, stopping at the deep fryer. He jumps up, and dunks his head into the hot oil, slurping it and the french fries up with it. The cooks have all run away, as Upchuck comes out, as he goes over to the gyro stand. He grabs wrapped up gyros and eats them, then eats the stand.

Psyphon, exhausted, is across the street from the Mr. Gyro. Suddenly, a chunk of the building disappears.

Psyphon: Huh?

Another chunk comically disappears, as several more chomp bites occur, the building having been completely eaten. Upchuck is extremely bloated, as he burps in satisfaction. Upchuck reverts, GIR back to his usual size.

Psyphon: (Angry) GIR!

Psyphon limps over to the crosswalk, as GIR stretches, sitting up.

GIR: Gyro!

GIR slaps down the Omnitrix, transforming into a green Wildmutt. Wildmutt runs across the street, going across the crosswalk. Psyphon is crossing, when he holds his arm up.

Psyphon: GIR! I command you to

Wildmutt rams Psyphon, him flipping over Wildmutt, landing flat on his back. He moans in pain, as Wildmutt sniff the air.

Wildmutt: (Barking) Ryros! Ryros!

Wildmutt charges off, as Psyphon gets up, holding his chest.

Psyphon: He has the Omnitrix. I must capture him at once! For the lord Vilgax! Ugh! How can such an obsolete and worthless robot cause this kind of damage?! End Scene

Wildmutt goes down the sidewalk, sniffing the ground and seemingly following a trail. He whimpers in disappointment, as he doesn’t find anything. He stumbles upon a news broadcast at a house.

Reporter: Hi, I’m Reporter, and I’m here reporting on this house. This house isn’t just a house. This is the world’s first fully automated house, working off a computer program. It can clean, cook, has GPS and has rumors that it can even walk. So it can just get up and walk to a new location. I don’t know if that’s practical, but it doesn’t matter what I think. I’m a reporter!

GIR walks in the view of the camera, confusing the reporter.

Reporter: And there’s now a tiny robot walking towards the house.

GIR slaps down the Omnitrix, transforming into Upgrade.

Reporter: And now the tiny robot turned into a bigger robot.

Upgrade walks over to the house, as he merges with it. He spreads all over it, the eye appearing on the front of the house.

Upgrade: Time to hit the drive through!

The house extends mechanical tentacles, as they implant themselves into the ground. They push and lift the house out of the ground, everyone running and screaming.

Reporter: And now the big robot that was a tiny robot has taken over the robot house and is now taking it for a joyride! And I’m reporting the obvious because I’m a reporter!

The house walks down the street, the tentacles crushing every car in its path. Psyphon runs after the house, panting.

Psyphon: Such a marvelous, evil idea! Why didn’t I think of that? I have to get inside, and disable this wretched thing.

Psyphon runs alongside the house, hopping onto a car. He spots an open window, as he leaps for it. He grabs onto the windowsill, as he struggles to pull himself up. He tumbles into the house, when the House walks uphill. Psyphon screams as he tumbles towards the back of the house, hitting a picture of a green monkey. A couch slides towards him, him screaming in terror.

The house pulls up to the drive through of another Mr. Gyro. He approaches the window, the attendant terrified.

Attendant: Uh,

Upgrade: Gyros!

Upgrade extends mechanical arms into the Mr. Gyro, taking several gyros. The house then walks off, lowering and settling in the parking lot, destroying several cars in the meanwhile. Upgrade comes off the house and is inside, reverting. GIR sits on the floor, opening the wrappers and eating the gyros.

Psyphon pushes the couch off of him, as he limps over to GIR, standing in front of the open window.

Psyphon: (Desperate) GIR!

GIR looks over, spotting Psyphon.

GIR: Hi master! Did I do good?

Psyphon: Hello. Uh, yes. Of course. You found the Omnitrix, which was the mission. Now, it is time to go home now.

GIR: Okay! (GIR stands up, holding his other gyros.) I’m going to take these to go.

GIR activates the Omnitrix, and slaps it down, turning into Cannonbolt.

Cannonbolt: Here I come master!

Cannonbolt curls up into a ball, rolling at Psyphon. Psyphon’s expression drops, as he’s run over by Cannonbolt, Cannonbolt breaking through the wall, right next to the open window. Cannonbolt opens up, looking around.

Cannonbolt: Master? Where are you?

Psyphon was stuck on Cannonbolt’s armor, as he peels off, hitting the ground.

Cannonbolt: Oh well! If I have more time, I’ll go eat my gyros.

Cannonbolt curls up again, as he rolls off. Psyphon lays on the ground, unmoving.

Psyphon: That’s it. I give up. No reward is worth it. No punishment is worse. Forgive me, Lord Vilgax.

Psyphon passes out, as Vilgax appears over him.

Vilgax: Very well. It looks like I’ll have to do this one myself. End Scene

Rath is rampaging inside Bloaty’s Pizza Hog, the people screaming. Bloaty, a  morbidly obese, anthropomorphic pig, is being backed into a corner by Rath.

Rath: LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN’ BLOATY THE PIZZA HOG!

Rath looks menacing, as he hugs Bloaty, which terrifies him even more.

Rath: (Smiling) I love you.

Bloaty: Get away from me!

Vilgax: Unit GIR!

Rath lets Bloaty go to look at Vilgax, Bloaty running. He only takes a few steps before collapsing from exhaustion, stopping at a table with abandoned pizza. Bloaty takes a pizza slice and eats it, watching the conflict.

Vilgax: Your orders are to return to the base ship, to remove the Omnitrix from you.

Rath: (Singingly) Say please!

Vilgax: What? I, that’s an order!

Rath: Do a little dance.

Rath starts dancing, as Vilgax goes over, grabbing Rath on the shoulder, going to drag him. Rath grabs back, as he grabs Vilgax’s arms, trapping him.

Vilgax: Huh?

Rath: I’m not going till you dance!

Rath continues to dance, forcing Vilgax to do so as well. Vilgax looks very confused, then pulls away, punching Rath in the face. Rath takes it, but then tears up, crying.

Rath: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rath punches Vilgax, sending him flying through the wall. Rath runs after him, as he sniffles. Rath reverts, as GIR looks around.

GIR: I made room for the cupcake!

GIR slaps down the Omnitrix, transforming into Eye Guy. He holds his arms over his head, as all the eyes travel up to his hands. He forms the all seeing eye over his head, as it turns, searching. His gaze fixes on something, as his smile is enlightened.

Eye Guy: I see you! Cupcake store!

Eye Guy runs off, as Vilgax gets up, slightly dazed.

Vilgax: Huh? Where’d he go? Urgh! This robot is definetely being decommissioned. While it is being destructive like I like them, it is completely disobedient!

Vilgax follows after Eye Guy, having lost him. He passes in front of a cupcake store, as the glass windows and door shatter by a flood of water, which washes Vilgax away. Inside the cupcake store, Eye Guy is crying, a tsunami of tears flowing.

Eye Guy: Wah! I miss you cupcakes!

Eye Guy takes off running out of the cupcake store, still crying and his tears getting everywhere. Vilgax gets up, and sees the trail of tears. He smirks, as he follows them.

Vilgax: You can’t escape from me, robot.

Vilgax follows the tear trail to the fishing district, where the trail had dried up. Vilgax smirks as he  continues, as he finds Water Hazard eating tuna.

Vilgax: You can’t hide anymore, robot.

Water Hazard: Hi squid! I’ll share with you!

Water Hazard holds his hand out, firing a stream of pureéd tuna at Vilgax. Vilgax is covered in it, gagging and coughing.

Vilgax: But, you’re an Orishan. You’re supposed to shoot water from your hands!

Water Hazard: Oh, I emptied it.

Vilgax: Emptied it? Why?

Water Hazard: To make room for the tuna.

Water Hazard opens his mouth, as he squirts pureéd tuna from the ports in his hand into his mouth, slurping loudly. Vilgax charges Water Hazard, as Vilgax slips on the tuna on the ground, sliding off the shore and into the water. Water Hazard reverts, GIR pulling a gyro out of his head.

GIR: (Smiling) He’s gettin’ eaten by a shark.

GIR walks off, as a shark is punched, sent flying into the air. Vilgax climbs out of the water, part of one of his face tentacles having been bitten off.

Vilgax: (Panting) This thing has tested my patience for the last time!

Voice: Having trouble, are we?

Vilgax looks over, as Azmuth teleports in.

Vilgax: The creator?

Azmuth: Yes. I had come to reclaim my Omnitrix, but I have to admit I had way too much fun watching that robot outwit you and your associate. But now it is no longer amusing, and I want it back.

Vilgax: The Omnitrix will be mine! And I will destroy that robot!

Azmuth: Well then, let’s work together to stop the robot. Temporarily of course.

Vilgax: (Agitated) Very well. End Scene

GIR: Yee-HOOOOOO!

GIR is on the outer edges of town, on a pig farm. He is riding a big pig, it bucking like a bull. The other pigs are lulling around.

GIR: Go, Mr. Piggy!

Mr. Piggy charges off in a direction, as Vilgax appears. Vilgax kicks Mr. Piggy away like a soccer ball, it and GIR crashing down. Mr. Piggy doesn’t get up, it snorting in pain.

GIR: Mr. Piggy!

Vilgax: Well, this game of cat and mouse is over. Surrender, and I’ll make your death swift.

GIR turns to face Vilgax, all his cyan parts glowing red.

GIR: (Serious tone) You hurt Mr. Piggy. You shall be terminated!

GIR activates and slaps down the Omnitrix, transforming. He takes on Khyber’s form, his skin a bit more green than Khyber’s. He’s wearing a green and black shirt and grey pants. His entire outfit is encompassed with a skeleton outline, it armoring his chest and back, and extending down his arms and legs. His eyes are red instead of cyan, due to his angered state.

Green Skull: GIR angry. I shall exact my revenge on the pathetic life form that dared to hurt my friends. Rise my pig army!

Green Skull whistles, though Vilgax doesn’t hear it. Vilgax looks unimpressed, when all the pigs perk their heads up, eyes red as they lock onto Vilgax. Green Skull points his fingers at Vilgax, as all the pigs squeal in a rage. Vilgax’s expression drops, as the pig army charges at Vilgax. Vilgax kicks some away, but the others knock Vilgax over, as he falls onto them. The pigs bury Vilgax, them attacking with their hooves.

Green Skull: Ha! Die, scum!

Vilgax breaks free, when Green Skull punches Vilgax, distorting him. Green Skull kicks Vilgax back over, the pigs trampling over Vilgax again. Green Skull laughs triumphantly, when a whoosh occurs. Green Skull is hit by a tranquilizer, as he falls over, asleep. Green Skull reverts, as Azmuth walks up.

Azmuth: To think such an idiotic creation could wield the Omnitrix in such a manner. You thought only of yourself, acted only on your instincts and desires, and was willing to do anything to get what you wanted, most times without knowing what you were doing was wrong. Though, I guess this proves me right. If this was to get in the wrong hands, the universe could be destroyed.

Azmuth removes the Omnitrix from GIR, who’s snoring peacefully. Azmuth teleports away, as the pigs gather around GIR. Vilgax is packed into the ground, moaning in pain.

Vilgax: The madness.

Characters

 * GIR
 * Vilgax
 * Psyphon
 * Azmuth
 * SIRs
 * Mr. Gyro Employees
 * Officer Prambly
 * Pigs
 * Argit 10 (commercial)
 * Rappers (commercial)

Aliens Used

 * XLR8
 * Four Arms
 * Upchuck (Merk)
 * Wildmutt
 * Upgrade
 * Cannonbolt
 * Rath
 * Eye Guy
 * Water Hazard
 * Green Skull (first appearance)

Trivia

 * This one of my few comedy based episodes.
 * This episode is dedicated to GIR, the greatest cartoon character of my childhood.
 * Psyphon takes the role of Zim, Vilgax the role of the Tallest, and Azmuth the role of the Control Brains.
 * Mr. Gyro, from the canon Dimension 23, is in this episode to represent Krazy Taco.
 * GIR uses Merk Upchuck because it doesn't seem to have a problem with eating food, while Perk Upchuck does.
 * Wildmutt being green is based off GIR's dog costume. The fact that he speaks with a heavy accent on the R is based off Scooby Doo.
 * Green Skull was introduced as an alien form for the sole purpose of controlling the pigs.
 * Eye Guy creating a flood when he cries is based off Argus from the Percy Jackson series, where it is said he flooded the camp the last time he cried.
 * Argit 10 has begun spreading his influence to other dimensions, as shown by his rap video making an appearance.
 * This episode occurs in Dimension 0 of Earth-68, which doesn't really exist.

Fans
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