Kira Yoshikage and Kishibe Rohan's Bizarre Adventures

Plot
First come in to Kira Yoshikage tied up with bomb-proof rope.

Josuke: We have gotten information that Jotaro and Kakyoin were attacked by an unknown assailant. Do you know about this?

Kira Yoshikage: No, not at all. It might be something beyond my control.

Josuke: I am going with Hirose Koichi to explore, Kishibe Rohan will take care of you in that period.

Kira Yoshikage: Ok then.

Josuke leaves and Kishibe Rohan comes.

Kira Yoshikage: Let me go.

Kishibe Rohan: だが断る.

Kira Yoshikage: It will annoy Josuke and we can have fun together!

Kishibe Rohan: Fine then.

For insurance he activates Heaven’s Door and writes on Kira Yoshikage “Will die if he tries to do evil things.”

They start to go out but Hirose Koichi stops them.

Hirose Koichi: An escaped prisoner!

Kishibe Rohan: No, he’s with me.

Hirose Koichi: Likely story. ECHOES ACT 2!

Echoes ACT 2 comes out and puts the kanji for “Flood” in front of Kira Yoshikage, who steps on it and starts to feel tons of water coming at him at once.

Kira Yoshikage: Uh oh.

He turns into Aqua Necklace and tries to counter the water, but, because he’s only imagining it through Echoes ACT 2’s ability, he fails and falls onto the floor.

Kira Yoshikage: Oh hell.

He turns into Enigma and turns himself into paper, evading Hirose Koichi’s attacks.

Enigma: Even if paper’s wet, it will still stay!

Hirose Koichi: Wrong! Wet paper is easily torn apart or destroyed! Like...

He summons Echoes ACT 3 and punches a hole through Enigma.

Echoes ACT 3: I’M GONNA KILL DA HO!

Enigma: Stop! You’ll kill me!

Hirose Koichi: How about instead of that, I pound your face against the ground and give you a napkin to wipe up the blood?

Kishibe Rohan: Hirose Koichi, this is crossing the line! Heaven’s Door!

Heaven’s Door writes on Hirose Koichi “CALM THE FUCK DOWN”.

Hirose Koichi: Ergh... I think I got carried away.

Enigma: Ya think?!

The scene changes to Josuke landing in Italy. He calls a taxi, and puts his luggage in the boot.

Josuke: Can I go to Sicily? If you don’t know where to park, look out for an angry guy in white clothes and a cool guy with pink hair.

The taxi shoots forward and doesn’t stop.

Josuke: Did you hear me?

The taxi continues moving forward at a very high speed.

Josuke: Hello?

He looks in the front to see vines (like Hermit Purple) covering the gas pedal and steering wheel.

Josuke: Oh no.

He turns into The Hand.

The Hand: ZA HANDO!

The Hand tries to erase the top of the taxi, but it somehow reforms.

The Hand: What?! Let’s try...

He turns into Harvest and tries to break the window, but it bounces back too.

Harvest: What?!

The taxi dips off a cliff, which falls into infinite nothingness.

Harvest: What’s going on?!

Death Thirteen appears.

Death Thirteen: You are in a dream. And you’ll NEVER WAKE UP!

Josuke: Noooooo!

Jotaro and Kakyoin are waiting for Josuke.

Jotaro: Yare yare daze, why isn’t Josuke here yet?

Kakyoin: Maybe...he was attacked!

Jotaro: Don’t be silly, Doppio is here.

Kakyoin: But what if another Stand User attacked, or even an Omnitrix User.

Jotaro: Good point.

He turns into vines.

Hermit Purple: Hermit Purple!

He crawls over to a beach-goer and steals their camera, then smashes it.

Hermit Purple: Spirit photo!

The spirit photo of Josuke sleeping inside a taxi appears.

Hermit Purple: Yare yare daze, he’s fallen asleep.

Hermit Purple wraps around Kakyoin and they go and find Josuke.

Hermit Purple: Josuke wake up lazy.

Hermit Purple slaps Josuke but he doesn’t wake up.

Kakyoin: This is the work of Death Thirteen!

Hermit Purple: Don’t be ridiculous. We already looked through Doppio and Kira Yoshikage’s Omnitricies and they don’t have that.

Kakyoin: To prove it, make me fall asleep!

Jotaro turns into The Fool and chokes Kakyoin so he falls asleep.

Switch back to Josuke fighting Death Thirteen. He is Reverb and is chucking “painful” kanji at Death Thirteen.

Death Thirteen: KONO DIO DA, you will never defeat me!

Suddenly Kakyoin appears.

Kakyoin: It IS Death Thirteen! Josuke, help me out!

Josuke puts “strong” kanji on Kakyoin and he punches Death Thirteen.

Death Thirteen: I would’ve gotten away with this too, if it weren’t for you meddling Stand Users and your mangy Stands!

Death Thirteen disappears and Kakyoin and Josuke are released from the dream.

Kakyoin: Jotaro, follow him!

But Death Thirteen is already gone.

Josuke: He called himself DIO...

Kakyoin: Dio Brando?!

Jotaro: Yare yare daze...if Dio Brando’s back, nobody’s safe.

Back to Kishibe Rohan and Kira Yoshikage getting vanilla ice cream.

Kira Yoshikage: This is fun.

Kishibe Rohan: Yep. What next?

Kira Yoshikage: Handjob.

Kishibe Rohan: What?!

Kira Yoshikage: We have our hands stylised. You know what a hand job is.

Kishibe Rohan: Uhh...

They go and get a hand job, but Josuke comes home early and sees them.

Josuke: You’re not tied up!

Kishibe Rohan: Yes, I let him go.

Josuke: Why?

Kishibe Rohan: To annoy you😝😝.

Josuke: He’ll kill us all.

Kira Yoshikage: No he use Heaven’s Door.

Josuke: Oh. Urgent news....

TO BE CONTINUED

Characters

 * Josuke
 * Jotaro
 * Ghost Kakyoin
 * Kishibe Rohan
 * Hirose Koichi

Villains

 * Kira Yoshikage
 * Ghost Dio Brando

Aliens Used

 * Aqua Necklace (By Kira Yoshikage)
 * Enigma (By Kira Yoshikage)
 * The Passion (By Dio Brando)
 * The Hand (By Josuke)
 * Harvest (By Josuke)
 * Death Thirteen (By Dio Brando)
 * Hermit Purple (By Jotaro)
 * The Fool (By Jotaro)
 * Reverb (By Josuke)

Allusions

 * Kira Yoshikage saying hand job is double entendre.

Trivia

 * This is completely write except end part by my best friend. I told him plot though.