Linus Goes to High School

Plot
Linus is in bed and Helen is trying to wake him up.

Helen: WAKE UP! Wakee up you lazy, good-for-nothing child!

Linus: Two more months, mom.

Helen removes the blanket but Linus stays on the bed.

Helen: Get up right now or I'll throw this bucket of water right at you!

Linus: You wouldn't.

Fred walks by the door all wet.

Fred: Oh yes she would.

Linus gets off his bed terrified.

At school...

The Cerebrocrustacean teacher gives Linus an exam.

Linus grabs the paper upside down.

Linus: Alas, what are these strange markings?

The teacher turns his exam paper.

Teacher: Words.

Linus: Ah! Words.

Teacher: You have exactly 30 minutes and 10.8 seconds to finish.

Linus: I gotta go to the bathroom, real bad.

Teacher: Ok. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Suddenly, Webinar comes from out of nowhereand starts blasting at the ceiling.

Linus: Webinar!

Teacher: Are you a new student?

Webinar: I am your destruction!

Linus: You? You couldn't hit a barn door with a banana.

Webinar: I'm searching for a Merlinisapien? Hand him over or I'll RIP YOU TO SHREDS!

Zarb (a Merlinisapien): (sweating) Merlinisapien? No Merlinisapiens here. No Merlinisapien would dare come in here.

Webinar aims his pincer at Zarb and gets ready to fire an energy beam at him.

Teacher: No weapons in class! Go to the principal's office!

Webinar: Shut your crabhole! Or you'll die next.

Linus: What did Zarb do to you anyway? LEAVE HIM ALONE!

Webinar: Mind your own business, Splixson! Wait...I remember you...you're Fred's kid.

Three United Galactic Forces soldiers march into the classroom and aim their guns at Webinar.

Appoplexian soldier: LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN', WEBINAR! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

Webinar: *acts nervously* Doh! My stomach hurts! And I really wanted to fight too.

Incursion soldier: That's what I thought.

Webinar blasts a hole through the wall and escapes.

Zarb: That was a close one.

Linus: What did he want with you?

Zarb: He kidnapped me into a secret lair in the middle of the night and wanted to turn me into a robot! I barely managed to escape and he's still after me! HE ALREADY HAS MY PARENTS! WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME!!!!??? WHY ME?!

Linus: Calm down, bro. You can stay at my house if that makes you comfortable.

Zarb: You'd really do that for me?

Linus: That's what friends do.

Zarb: You consider me a friend?

Linus: Sure, what else would I consider you?

Zarb: I don't know. The list is endless.

Incursion Soldier: This a designated conflict zone. Go home to your mama.

Linus: Yay! No school!

At Linus's home...

Zarb: This place is a palace!

Linus: You'll get used to this.

Helen: What're you doing home early?!?! Running away from school!!! That's it, young man, you are grounded for a whole year!

Linus: Wait! It's not what you think!

Helen: EXPLAIN!

Linus: *takes a deep breath* Webinar came into our class and wanted to shoot Zarb, three soldiers came in to arrest him but he got away and they had to evacuate the whole school.

Zarb: It's true, Mrs. Blake. I saw the whole thing.

Helen just stands there staring at them.

Fred comes out of his car.

Fred: I'm home! *sees Helen staring at Zarb and Linus* I'm gonna go inside now. *walks away*

Helen: Son, I'll never doubt you again.

The End.

Characters

 * Linus
 * Zarb
 * Helen
 * Fred
 * Three soldiers
 * Cerebrocrustacean Teacher

Villains

 * Webinar