Thread:UltiVerse/@comment-16747922-20140802123415/@comment-16747922-20140803052454

UltiVerse wrote: Why would I not? :D What's your reply to my previous question, then? Ah, yes, improvements. Let me think. See, while I've only read a couple of episodes, POTO is perhaps the most authentic show I've seen. Sure, I hate Omniverse but for the few episodes I've seen of it, this interpretation of the characterization and structure is SPOT ON. It feels REAL. And it's a lot more entertaining and you see the creative brilliance pop out, so it becomes instantly likable.

A few suggestions (the following essays are not loads of bashing, but rather singular suggestions per point and just claims supporting descriptions of my own thoughts.):

- Use Timestamps. I read an excerpt of "Wrath of Vilgax" and while the stories don't need to be told in real time, the casual "later" makes it feel like everything is just "happening" and there's no multi-faceted feel to it. The transitions need to swipe you into the next scene so you get powerful reminders of what's happening each time. The whole timeline of the episode should be rich and packed with cinematic detail to increase momentum and lock you into the episode.

- Use more vivid descriptions. Now, if you read my article on Big Chill, I'm not suggesting that level of sci-fi detail, but at least describe a few processes that have a sequence rather than a plain and mundane result - the more descriptions, the more immersed the audience will feel. And it should stay consistent with creativity to keep up a steady pace in the episode - sure, my show is a bit slower and needs significant time to not cram in six events into five minutes like the cartoon does, and while your show is so authentic it doesn't feel rushed, at times I tend to lose a grasp of a momentum you may have created if I can't exactly imagine a depth-filled pull of the reader into the world.

- And for the above, I understand how it's directly based on the show and visual descriptions are unnecessary, but every setting and scene is essentially an environment, an ecosystem. Despite how short time there may be, gradual descriptions are required to make everything feel alive, and immerse you into what feels like hours of fun rather than simple minutes of fun reading. Every second should feel alive - you do a great job during most of the time but the more consistency, the better the experience. It should have a cinematic touch to it.

- Plot structure. This is the big one. I know, the cartoon itself is a kid's show, they won't be able to follow sixteen clues at once, but whether this be a procedural, a serial or just simple fun, recurring stories and characters intertwined in plots ALWAYS make for momentum increase and warp in viewers for a ride they know will be important to the show. Give a character where everything pertaining to them will lead to something big, similar to Old George in UA. You should come up with a few story arcs and really build up the suspense - sure, the humor is there but balancing it with the action and the occasional seriousness will allow for a complete, well-thought episode and continue to construct the already fascinating and beautifully rich universe that just jumps at you every time I go on your amazingly fancy POTO page.

See, the multiple arcs should intertwine, sure, but the procedural elements should get a significant share of their time so each arc just gets little increments progressed and keeps you interested - in the finale, all ends of the rope need to tie up in one knot where the story arcs all meet and reach their climaxes - every transition will leave you at the edge of your seat and sort of redefine Omniverse into having the same feel yet allowing you to experience it firsthand. No need for fancy dialogue and swearing and violence and all that, but intricate richness can always be there despite the level of content. You've demonstrated this quite well so far but expanding on it and letting it reach its full potential can do wonders.

As for everything else... WOW. The creativity in this show is INCREDIBLE. The situations, the outcomes, the authenticity with how much you can just imagine the events taking place on TV... it's brilliant. I can see why this show has such a great reputation and you and your cohorts having pulled off such wondrous feats just to continue expanding an already fascinating universe gives me the utmost respect for what you do. It's what makes you a legend and it's what makes it an honor to speak with you and have you read what I have in store. Thank you again. It's a pleasure being on this wiki.